Final Chapter. SOB!

Thank you to all who have read and reviewed this fic. Some of you know how nervous I was about this story as it was very different to what I usually write and I moaned to many of you as I wrote it about how much trouble I was having with writer's block. Your supportive reviews are the reason this even got finished, guys, so thanks.

Thanks to those who've been reading but not reviewing (and there has been a steady number so I know you've been following it), I'd love to hear your thoughts now it's over and your views on a continuation.

The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love and be loved in return.

From "Unforgettable with Love" by Natalie Cole

Chapter Twenty Six

Remus went back to his house that night for the first time in weeks.

'You need some space to work out where you stand, Ash,' he said gently when she asked him to stay. 'And I need some space until you work it out because I can't let myself get used to this; to being with you like this, sleeping with you, making love with you. I can't allow myself to start to believe you could be mine.'

He saw the pain in her face and smiled at her, cupping her face. 'Honey, it's alright. If you decide you can't give all of yourself to me, I'm not going to run away. I'm not going to desert you. Don't make a choice based on fear of losing our friendship or not wanting to hurt me. Because I'll know. And knowing you've settled or that you're with me out of pity - that would hurt more than flat out rejection ever could.'

He kissed her, unable to help letting it linger as he stroked his thumb along her jaw, before he apparated back to his house.

Once he'd gone, Ashlin took a bottle of mead and sat on her bed thinking. She was certain that she loved Remus - confusion over her feelings for him wasn't what was holding her back. She sighed, putting the mead on her bedside table having only had a few sips. She walked over to her cupboard and pulled out a small box in which she'd put the things from her past that she just couldn't part with. Taking out the now crinkled photograph of two young lovers, she smiled.

It didn't hurt to look at it now. She didn't mourn and cry for lost love and opportunities. Now, she smiled as she remembered Sirius and the time they had together and she knew that her feelings for Remus were a big part of the reason for that. So why was she still reluctant to give him the heart that used to belong to his friend?

It was early in the morning that she gave in to temptation and sought out the emergency box of cigarettes she kept hidden in her bottom drawer. She didn't smoke them, just enjoyed the smell in times of emotional turmoil.

'And I think this qualifies,' she muttered to herself as she pulled the dog eared packet out from the tangle of clothes.

She went to open them then let out a breath of laughter. Remus had obviously found them and had written a note on the top reminding her, 'No inhaling, Ash.'

She smiled. Typical of Remus to find a way to remind her not to give in to her desire to take 'just one little puff' even when he wasn't around. The man had unobtrusively wormed his way into every single aspect of her new life, and she hadn't once tried to imagine what it would be like without him in it - it had never occurred to her that there would be a time he wouldn't be there.

She lit up a cigarette, opening her window and hanging her hand out so the smoke drifted off into the night. The scent of tobacco hit her nostrils and she breathed through her nose.

'Filthy habit, Ashlin,' she heard Severus saying in her head.

The corner of her mouth turned up then she suddenly stubbed out the cigarette, going back to the box of keepsakes and finding the letter Severus had written her before his death. Opening it, she re-read the part that had come to her as she remembered him.

"You once told me I deserved to be loved; that you hoped that, when it was all over, I would allow someone to do so. I wish the same for you, Ashlin. Do not close your heart as I did. It is a lonely and worthless existence."

'I want to,' she mumbled, eyes unfocused as she stared at the paper. 'I want to love him; I want him to love me. Why am I holding back?'

Her eyes fell on the photo and it hit her. She needed Sirius to approve. She needed to know that he would be happy about her moving on with his best friend.

'I need to tell him,' she thought. 'I need him to know and to give us his blessing.'

She didn't know why it was so important to her but she knew that, until she felt that Sirius would be pleased for them, she couldn't give herself to Remus in the way he wanted.

Remus woke early after a restless night and sat on his porch with a coffee as he watched the sun come up. Despite what he'd said last night, he had hoped Ashlin would tell him she loved him too. He was almost positive she did - you couldn't make love with someone the way they had and not care deeply for them.

'She kissed me,' he told himself. 'The first person she's kissed since Sirius. That's got to mean something.'

And Ashlin knew about his past - she'd never lead him on the way he led Tonks on. Unlike him, she was strong enough to refuse him if she couldn't love him back.

'It'd serve me right if she didn't love me,' he thought miserably. 'Maybe this is karma. Maybe it's life paying me back for getting involved with someone I didn't love. Now it's my turn to feel what it's like to love without knowing if I'm loved in return.'

He couldn't imagine now what his life would be like without Ashlin; didn't want to try to imagine it - it hurt too badly. But as much as he loved her, he couldn't live a life with her knowing she didn't love him as completely as she could.

He just couldn't.

Sunrise found Ashlin outside the cemetery that Sirius would have buried in had there been a body to entomb. Instead, there was a brass plaque marking an empty grave, Harry deciding once the battle was over that he needed to do something to get his own closure. She made her way through the head stones, trying to find the marker Harry had told her about. Finally, as the suns rays were growing in intensity, she found it.

Sirius Black
1960 - 1996
Dearly Loved.
Finally Free.

Ashlin laid the flowers she'd bought down next to the plaque. 'Hey, babe,' she murmured, using the endearment that she so loved hearing from his lips. 'Sorry it's taken me so long to come.'

She sat down and laid her hand on the surprisingly warm plaque. Her finger traced the raised letters of his name.

'I owe you an explanation,' she murmured, then she started to talk, telling him everything from the night he'd left her until last night and Remus' declaration.

'He said he loves me, Siri,' she said softly. 'And I love him. But…I need you to give me your blessing before I can commit to him. I need to know that it's ok with you that I love your best friend.'

There was silence and she sighed. 'I don't know what I expected - some sort of sign or something, I suppose. I just needed you to know and I want you to approve. This isn't weird, is it? That I've fallen for Remus? You always told me how great you thought he was, how much you loved him and wished he could be as happy as we were… He's been so good to me, babe. He's wonderful - kind, sweet, so gentle and understanding and I know that he loves me…and I really do love him very much...'

A strong wind suddenly came out out of nowhere, sending her hair flying into her face. Ashlin brushed it away then, as quickly as it had come up, the gust was gone and all was still again. Ashlin smiled. 'I think I got that sign I wanted. You never were subtle, Siri.'

Just talking it out with him, even though the conversation had been one sided, had helped her see more clearly exactly what she wanted and, even without the dubious sign, she'd made a decision.

'I know you'd approve,' she whispered then took a small box from her pocket. 'I know that you'd be happy that it's Remus I want to spend my life with and that we have your blessing.'

She opened the box and took out the engagement ring he'd bought for her as well as the small piece of paper with his handwritten note, 'I'll miss you. I love you.' She'd crossed out the 'S' and replacing it with an 'A'.

'I loved you with all my heart, Sirius, and I want to love Remus the same way. He deserves that.'

She closed her fist around the scrap of parchment and the diamond and gold ring for a moment, shutting her eyes tight.

'So, I'm letting you go.'

Using her finger, she dug a small hole in the dirt just under the plaque then buried the ring and paper. She smiled again as she covered the offering, feeling as though a weight had been lifted off her.

'Thanks, babe,' she said, kissing her fingers and touching them to the plaque again before standing up and apparating away.

Ashlin let herself into Remus' house, calling out to him as she did. There was no answer and she checked his bedroom before hearing the shower running. Hesitating just a moment, she opened the door and was immediately enveloped in a cloud of steam. She could hear him humming to himself and grinned as she stripped her clothes off.

'Hi,' she said softly as she opened the shower curtain.

Remus jumped, then let out a laugh. 'Never predictable, Ash,' he said with a wide smile, his eyes quickly running over her scarred body before meeting her gaze, a little darker than they had been a moment earlier.

Ashlin giggled then ran her hands up his chest, lingering a little over a long scar before linking her arms around his neck. 'You're happy to see me,' she noticed and he chuckled.

'My joy is pretty obvious,' he murmured, his hands running over her hips, the curve of her ass, pressing her against his rapidly hardening cock. 'I didn't expect to see you so soon though. Or quite so…naked.'

She laughed but saw his face lose all signs of amusement as he asked hesitantly, 'Does this mean you've made a decision?'

Nodding, she rose on her toes a little and kissed him gently. 'I love you,' she said against his lips. 'I love you with all my heart.'

Remus smiled then tried to force it down. 'You…you've resolved any…issues you had?'

'Sirius and I had a long talk this morning,' she told him, seeing his puzzled expression. 'I said goodbye. For good. My heart is yours, Remus…if you still want it.'

'Oh, I want it, honey,' he whispered, a joyful smile spreading across his face. 'I want it.' His words were muffled as he pressed his lips to hers, deepening the kiss quickly as he held tight to her.

For the longest time, they stood there, water cascading over their naked bodies as they just kissed, taking so much pleasure in the simplicity of the moment. There was nothing between them anymore, physically or emotionally. For the first time, they were completely exposed to each other - in every sense.

But, after a time, their bodies craved more intimacy than that their lips could provide and Remus pressed Ashlin against the tiled wall as their hands roamed. Remus finally moved his lips off hers to taste her throat, the sweet skin heating up beautifully under his tongue. Ashlin moaned, her knees shaking with desire. 'Remus,' she breathed, not sure she could stand any more sensation without shattering into little pieces. The man seemed to understand exactly what she needed with that one whispered word and slid his hands over her hips and down to lift her off her feet, pressing her hard against the wall as his body slid home.

Ashlin sighed, hearing Remus' groan as she throbbed around him. Her legs wrapped around his hips and, as he began to move, they resumed their kiss. Tongues mimicked the motion of their bodies, thrusting and tangling, hotter and harder, until they were crying out their releases into each others mouths.

Later that night, they made some decisions. 'You want me to move in?' Remus asked, lips brushing her bare shoulder blade before he raised his head and looked down at her. 'Are you sure?'

Ashlin nodded, rolling over to face him. They'd gone back to her house, thinking they'd finish up their preparations for the soon-to-be-arriving children, but they had ended up in bed again.

'Only if you want to,' she said, thinking she was moving too fast for him. 'I know it's soon but you spend most of your time here and…'

She bit her lip then said, 'We've spent enough of our lives alone. I for one don't want to let any more opportunities to be happy pass me by.'

Remus raised a hand, tracing the scar on her face then leaning over to kiss along the raised skin. 'While I agree wholeheartedly, I don't know if I feel comfortable moving in with you with all those children here,' he murmured, his mouth travelling over her cheek and along her jaw until they were brushing over her lips. 'I think that if we live together, we should be married.'

Ashlin was surprised he was so traditional. 'Oh,' she said, disappointed. 'Ok, then. It was just an idea…'

'Ash, read between the lines, honey,' he said, lifting his head a little to look into her eyes. She frowned and he chuckled.

'You're going to make me, with my bad back, get down on one knee and ask properly, aren't you?'

Ashlin finally understood and her green eyes widened. 'Oh!' she breathed and he grinned.

'There you go,' he teased then took a deep breath. 'So, what do you think? Want to marry me?'

A smile spread slowly across her face, giving her a serenity that he'd never seen in her before and she nodded. His grin broadened and he kissed her hard, rolling them so he was holding himself over her.

'Tomorrow,' he murmured, kissing down her throat, between her breasts and over her ribs. 'I want to marry you tomorrow.'

His lips were moving over her stomach, pausing to allow his tongue to dip inside her navel. 'O…ok,' she agreed shakily, not fully aware of what she was agreeing to but sure she didn't care.

'But I think we should get a jump start on the honeymoon tonight,' he mumbled, pushing her legs apart and trailing burning hot kisses up her thigh.

'Uhngh,' she grunted, eyes rolling back in her head as his mouth pressed against the entrance of her body.

He chuckled at her response, then threw her legs over his shoulders before focusing all his attention and talents to making her scream his name.

Two weeks later

'God, I feel sick,' she mumbled, gripping Remus' hand tight.

'So do I actually,' he replied, then winced, trying to loosen her iron like grasp on his fingers. 'Jeez, Ash, remind me never to get into bed with you while you're this nervous. You'll incapacitate me.'

She smiled distractedly, eyes darting around the train station. 'They're all staring at us,' she whispered and he smiled.

'They're all jealous,' he murmured, raising her hand and kissing it. 'They can't imagine why a gorgeous blonde would be holding hands with a ragged old werewolf.'

His teasing drew a genuine smile. 'They haven't been in bed with you obviously,' she retorted with a cheeky grin. 'If they had, they wouldn't be wondering what I see in you.'

Remus laughed, pulling her closer and kissing her on the lips. 'You know, I've always had this fantasy about a hot blonde and sex in a public place…'

'Shit, don't do that to me here,' she whispered, her hand fisting in his shirt as she felt heat swirl inside her. 'You know I have no resistance to you. I don't want those kids to catch us shagging.'

'We'll have to be quick then,' he joked and she smacked him lightly across the chest.

'Not even you are that quick,' she said, motioning with her chin. 'Train's here. Where the hell is Harry?'

Remus looked around, seeing many eyes turn away. Ashlin had been right about the stares: they had gotten several looks from other parents as they waited on the platform, Remus was relieved to see that not too many of the gazes were hostile. Ashlin's face was well known now as Kingsley had leaked her story - along with details of everything she and Remus were trying to do to help the orphans of the war. Ashlin knew that the article hadn't allayed everyone's doubts about the project, but Harry's declaration of support in the newspaper report had gone a long way towards helping people accept that a former Death Eater and her werewolf husband were opening a boarding home for teenagers. As a result of the public support from 'The Boy Who Lived', 'Padfoot Place' had been inundated with offers of help - financial and practical.

'Sorry I'm late,' the man himself said as he ran up to them, puffing a little. 'Got…distracted.' He grinned and Ashlin and Remus laughed.

'Next time, you might want to go with a more subtle shade of lipstick, Harry,' Ashlin said, handing him a tissue and he flushed, wiping off the remnants of his girlfriends' farewell kiss as the train ground to a halt.

There was soon a sea of teenagers milling around the platform and Ashlin looked nervously at the already memorised list of names in her hand. They were taking ten children, five boys and five girls ranging in age from eleven to sixteen. These were just a few of the children in the most desperate need, Ashlin wishing fervently that she could fit more of the homeless teenagers into the house. Remus had to convince her to give this first holiday a chance before extending the house to be able to fit more kids in.

She and Remus had met with the twelve quiet, resentful, grieving children several times over the past two weeks. After the first visit, Remus had found Ashlin sitting on her window sill with a cigarette dangling from her fingers, having recognised names and faces of families; guilt eating her up when she realised that, although she hadn't taken part in any of the murders, she'd known about some and done nothing to stop them. It had taken all of Remus' considerable skills, both of persuation and seduction, to get her mind off the past and back to the good things they were creating together now.

Remus watched Ashlin closely now. She'd been unable to sleep last night, prowling the house, checking and rechecking that everything was ready until he'd had enough, throwing her over his shoulder and taking her back to bed. They hadn't been able to have any kind of honeymoon after their quick, casual bonding; the preparations for today taking up most of their time. He'd planned a trip away after the holidays were over, both a belated honeymoon and a chance to unwind after their first experience with the children. If all went well, that was.

He saw familiar faces making their way over to them and gripped Ashlin's hand. Neither of them were under any illusions that this was going to be easy. The children had ranged in mood from overly clingy, crying when they'd left after their school visits, and openly resentful and angry. They'd organised a counsellor to talk to them but Remus knew he and Ashlin would bear the brunt of the swinging emotions and hoped his wife was ready for it. Although she was tougher than she looked, her heart was still fragile.

'Hi,' Harry greeted as the crowd around them grew.

He chatted to some of the younger teens he knew vaguely from his recent time at Hogwarts, as the youngest child, eleven year old Mia, attached herself to Ashlin's leg. The little girl had sobbed each time Ashlin had left, Minerva McGonagall explaining that the dayher mother had been killed, she'd kissed Mia goodbye, told her she'd see her later but had never come back. The child was terrified now that every time someone left they wouldn't return and tried to compensate by clinging onto familiar adults. It just about broke Ashlin's heart to see the girl that way and she put her arms around her now, holding her close.

Remus shook hands with the older boys, giving a particularly warm smile to sixteen year old Lucas, whose Auror parents were murdered by the same woman that had taken the life of his former wife; the same woman he'd watched his current wife kill. Lucas was the most angry, the most resentful at having been sent to stay at 'Padfoot Place' .

He had been cold and aloof to former Death Easter Ashlin but he had quickly connected with Remus, the werewolf seeing a lot of the qualities his late best friend had also had - an outward appearance of arrogance and confidence but hidden anger and frustration that would explode from him at unexpected moments. Remus had connected with the deepest part of Sirius in a way that even his 'brother' James never could and he found the same hidden depths in Lucas.

They split the children up, Harry, Ashlin and Remus each taking a smaller group by Portkey back to the boarding house. As they huddled around the old hats that were the transport devices, Remus gave Ashlin a quick kiss on the side of the head.

'I love you,' he whispered and saw her mouth the words back. He could see the nervousness in her face and smiled reassuringly.

'New beginnings, Ash,' he said softly and she nodded, smiling back at him as she repeated his words.

'New beginnings.'

Fin.

OK. Let me know - do you want to hear more or are you sick of them? I've left it open for a continuation where we delve more into Padfoot Place if there's enough interest…