Shock emerald eyes met wild violets as Rukia and Toushiro stared back down at the object of doom (namely the caller) and back to staring at each other in mortification.
"Nii-sama!?"
"Kuchiki-dono!?"
"What the hell!?" Why'd you picked up!?" Rukia glared at the white haired male and slapped him over the head.
"Oww! You idiot you're the one who hang up!" Toushiro spat venomously, "Now he thinks I did it! And there goes my scholarship!!"
"Who cares about your scholarship!? Down goes my social life!" Rukia made a horrified face, "Oh my god! I'm gonna be like...like," she turned back to her companion-turned-enemy, and pointed an incredulous finger at him, "You! He would think I'm just fooling around and mooching of people and not doing anything productive in college and—"
"Isn't that what you're doing right now—"
"Fool!" the raven head hissed as she threw him an empty milk carton. "He's gonna hammer me to be like you! An introverted, antisocial, stick-up-my-ass-bookworm!! My youth is ruined! Ruined!!!"
"What the hell are you talking about!? First of all, you'd possibly die first if you even "try" to be as smart as me—"
"Stick-up-your-ass-bookworm!!"
"That's not the point!" Toushiro stood up fiercely as Rukia did the same as they were nearly nose-to-nose, "Heh! But I guess it's a good thing if Kuchiki-dono did find out that you're slacking in class! And since you took up being my "wicked philanthropist," My life is far worse!"
"Hah! You should be thankful that I at least took the time of the day to even help you with your love life!"
"Who asked for it!?"
"Your sorry ass who can't even get laid!"
"L-l-laid—?! That's not—"
An abrupt knock jolted both individuals from their squabble, as their faces mirrored each other's shocked expressions.
"He couldn't be here that fast, could he!?" emerald eyes widened.
"If it's nii-sama, I wouldn't be too surprise if he flew the jet himself without a license..."
Toushiro could only blink at her, but could not find any trace of humor in her otherwise scarily serious face. And Byakuya running a jet amok...was pretty darn frightening. Granted the man was always calm and collected, but when it comes to his sister...he'd heard rumors that he took a bear down one time when Rukia went out camping by herself. Wait...what?
Anywaaaays, Rukia was quick to think as she whirled the white-haired male to his room, "Where's your closet?!"
"To the left--Wait! What!? You're hiding!?"
"Of course I'm hiding! If nii-sama saw me with an underage bookworm freak like you, he'd think we're doing some hanky-panky—"
"Whaaaaat!?"
"Shut up!"
"Rukia! I know you're in there!"
"Quick! Get this futon off-" the two swiftly pulled out the gigantic lump of blankets from the closet...unfortunately other piles of crap went crashing down the floor with them as they lost their balance.
...
...
"Fluffeeh ya shuck. What shit didja putsh up there? Encyclopedia Volumes 1-10?" Rukia's voice was muffled as she was buried underneath cotton country.
"Shaapth up." the white haired male struggled trying to breath as Rukia seemed to have her dead weight right across his chest
"Oi! Short-cake get your ass out of there!!"
A loud banging ensued.
"Alright we're coming in!"
BANG!
"They didsh not jush shlam my door open..."
"I thinksh they shdid. Holy Craaap! I cantsh breaaaaatheee!" Rukia squirmed, trying to find salvation or any light from the dark tunnel for her to breathe, pawing and elbowing certain parts of the younger male that had him screaming in both pain and partly because he was ticklish at some points.
"Shtop that! You're movingsh too muush!"
Ichigo, Renji and Grimmjow quickly scanned the tidied room, eyes scanning the living room.
Renji was sure he heard a crash earlier, but he might've been wrong because Grimmjow just put his feet and bat to good use breaking down the door.
"I think they're here," Ichigo quietly and cautiously as possible opened the door to their right...
"Aha!" Rukia found enlightenment in the form of breathing as she ducked her head out of the fluffy confinements of the futon and...
...
...
...
"R-Rukia..." her dumbstruck berry boys couldn't be more shocked.
"You stupid bitch! Get off me!" Toushiro untimely made his appearance and yanked the sheets off his face, revealing their position to the world...that was less than appropriate.
Yeah, well it wasn't that much of a surprised to see Rukia on the batter position.
Er, I mean—!
Scratch that, her berry boys did find it...infinitesimally outrageous.
"Gaaaaahhh!!! What the hell are you two doing!?" Renji spluttered as he pointed with a twittering bug eye.
Ichigo swiftly kicked the futons off the two "lovers" and easily hauled Rukia by the waist and carried her like a sack of potatoes by his side.
Grimmjow then put a foot down on Toushiro's chest, and the metal bat hanging precariously over his head, a mad gleam in Grimmjow's eyes told him the white-haired male was not going to leave unscathed.
"The fuck," the slowly deliberate way Grimmjow put pressure on his chest had him gasping, "Were you trying to do, shorty?"
Temporary fear and slight gulp jolted him out of his situation, gripping the blue-haired man's foot and applying pressure of his own. "Hey! What the hell get off me! I'm not the one at fault here!"
"Then what the hell were you doing to Rukia!? You punk!" Renji launched at him.
"Boys, hey..."
"You sick bastard, trying to get Rukia in here." Ichigo glared daggers at him.
"I wasn't the one who invited her! She invited herself! And what the hell do you care!?"
"Hey, Strawberry put me do—"
"Oh don't try to make excuses! We saw it, dumbass!"
"Tell us the truth boy genius or I'll have your brains on this floor."
"Try it," Toushiro smirked, gripping Grimmjow's foot harder, as the elder male held in a wince. Interestingly enough, maybe this shorty's not going down as easy. Grimmjow grinned. Well then he was more than glad to oblige— "Asshole."
"That's it! You little—!!"
"STOP IT! YOU IDTIOS!!"
Rukia effectively elbowed Ichigo on his side as he keeled over. She then promptly stood up to smack Grimmjow's head and taking the bat from him to whacked it on Renji's face who was about to resume attacking their prey.
"That's enough!"
"What..." Ichigo couched violently, standing to his feet, "The hell was that all about!?"
"Oh, wow, Ichigo do I have to educate you on sex?" Rukia rolled her eyes, every word dripping with obvious sarcasm, that went unnoticed by all her audience, "Why making love of course—"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT!?!?!?!"
She could've sworn the whole room was about to collapse.
Toushiro couldn't turn any more purple than he already was. In this state he looked more like an eggplant than a victimized, accused, and abused...uhh victim?
"Not it was not! You! You, Rukia! SHUT UP!"
"Rukia!?" Renji screeched, the red bat implant looked oddly funny on his face, "Since when the hell were you on first name basis!?"
"That's not the problem here, Abarai! She came to my room!"
"You invited!" Rukia supplied helplessly, as he spat fiery glares at her. She was clearly enjoying this.
"And what the fuck were you doing before we came here!? Punk!" Grimmjow hauled him up with his collar.
"We weren't doing anything!" He was getting exasperated and really, really pissed as he yanked himself off of the blue crazed psycho.
"Oh yeah! And what was she doing on top of you!?" Ichigo turned the white haired male's towards him.
Wasn't this situation where their "position" suggests he was clearly the victim?? He was pinned down by her for god's sake! Not the other way around! At such a disgusting image, an unfiltered and unexpected of a shoujo-manga projected to his thoughts of him being girlishly pinned down (half-naked) as Rukia straddled him, laughing maniacally with an evil glint in her eyes and a fang poking out as she readied her whip—
Wait, NO!
"She fell on me accidentally!!"
"He was very forward..."
"Rukia! Shut the HELL UP!"
"Why you—!"
"Bahahahahaaa! No, no, no!" Rukia came right in time as he grabbed for Ichigo's arm, ready to pound the boy to pieces. "That was freakin funny! Ahahahahaaa!"
"What?" Renji's red-brow ticked convulsively, making it look like a squiggly worm in his otherwise bald and tattooed forehead.
"Nothing happened," she nonchalantly shrugged her shoulders and waved her hands in a negatively blasé manner, "You guys are just so easy to fool!"
"You bit—"
"But what the hell are you three doing here?" she each gave them pointed looks that reminded them of something akin to getting a can of ass whooping before a twenty foot grave.
"N-Nothing," Ichigo's turned his face away, scratching his neck, an obvious lie. "It doesn't concern—!"
"Che! Unlike you, we got some business here!" Grimmjow rubbed his, no doubt, bruised head.
"We came for a study session!" Renji insisted, "What's it to you!?"
"So...breaking the door down, "nearly" killing whitey, and manhandling me is anyway related to..." she paused, putting a guessing finger to her lips, "Studying Biology360 with potatoes and sour cream and hot warm tea under a kotatsu and having a great male bonding!? Right? Hahahahahah!" the boys awkwardly laughed along with her and—
"You're not fucking serious are you?" her violet eyes clearly spelled doomsday as all laughter was put aside and the evil bitch from hell had risen to kill three unsuspecting idiots—
"Hitsugaya-san?"
Well, it was a far outcry changed to people calling him " whitey, fluffy, and stick-up-your-ass-bookworm bastard" but Toushiro sure as hell did not think that the people in his room right now were anywhere close to give him such a respect.
He'd eat his futon.
Everyone blinked, eyes robotically looking behind the flimsy door that separates apocalypse and their mere mortal lives.
"N-nii-sama!" Rukia hissed, and all the boys in the room nearly peed their pants.
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
*cough* My ultra smexy fragilisticiouslytious fine gift to my uber BBFF, honeybunchikins!...myself! lol No! Yousha-taicho, my love my sun, my moon! Instead of making an essay, I deliver my heart to you in a red lasso!
Of course while I've planned the omake, I thought I'd surprised you with this instead! Fear not for sexy Bya-kuns will have a special scene in the omake doing a threesome with us! For now, toodles! and loves to those who revs!:))