Kings and Pawns

Chapter 4: The Hardest Lesson

Harry Potter does not belong to me.

Do you know who we are?

Do we know who I am?

I know who we are

Shards of a crushed mind

We are atoms lost in infinity

Moments in the dreams of our minds

We are you

You are crazy

Out of your mind

Harry Potter's Diary

Entry three.

The old man is a crazy, frustrated, lunatic, arsehole, idiot, annoying as fuck. I hope you read this you narcissistic, manipulating, bastard. I hate you right now. Knowing your twisted fucked up mind you'll probably be pleased. "Well done Harry your expressing your emotions" Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Bastard. Happy now? If you want I can express my emotions on you. And then every one else when you're dead.

The Kings Apprentice.

……………

Harry

I understand why you are frustrated but you must understand where I am coming from. Is it really the restrictions that I have placed on you that have set off your recent behaviour? Surely there are better ways of dealing with this. Your friends are not responsible for what happened to you. If any one is to blame I am. I am truly sorry for my part in it Harry, more than you will ever know. But now that your ordeal is finally over I must deal with you as you are. You can fight it all you like my boy but you cannot stop me from loving you. The people that care for you are here and as much as you act like you hate it, it is something that I know you need. Don't destroy the last connections you have with reality.

Albus.

…………….

Entry four.

LET ME OUT.

The Kings Apprentice

…………….

Harry

I cannot do that. I gave you a very real chance and you tried to leave knowing the agreement I have with the Minister and yourself. I gave you a second chance, you cursed your friends. They have forgiven you but I cannot allow you amongst the student population if you are a danger to them. I do not intend to keep you in your old room indefinitely and I am happy to accompany you on walks around the grounds but that is the only freedom I can grant you at the moment. One day I am sure you will be back in Gryffindor tower with your classmates but until then you will have to bare with both yourself and me.

Albus.

…………….

Entry five.

I would not have cursed them if they would get the idea and leave me alone. "Are you ok Harry?" "Do you need to have a break?" "Maybe you should lie down," they were always breathing down my neck, touching me, and hugging me. I would be happy and content if they were dead. Then I could be left in peace. Make no mistake, I may hate Voldemort but I am still trained by him. Perhaps you should deal with the problem that you have created.

The Kings Apprentice.

…………….

Harry

I am dealing with it. A bit of love can make all the difference.

Albus.

…………….

Entry six.

Your more deranged than I believed.

The Kings Apprentice.

…………….

Harry

Love is more powerful than you know. But it is also the hardest lesson in the entire world to learn.

Albus.

…………….

Entry Seven.

I'm not doing this diary thing any more. Its one of your more brilliant ideas. Which says a lot about you.

The Kings Apprentice.

Harry was dragged out of bed having had only a fraction of the sleep that he required. A bleary figure in death eater robes pushed him towards the bathroom. Still in a daze and with out his glasses Harry watched as the door closed over his shoulder and let out a breath.

Of all the ways he could have been woken up, good morning by death eater was by far the worst. His foggy mind had jumped at the sight of a black robed death eater grasping his arm and yanking him from under his blankets. Adrenalin had flooded his senses making him aware of every inch of his body and every breath that he took. He rested his hand over his heart, he felt as though he had just run a marathon.

Turning on the tap he filled his cupped hands with water and splashed his face. His eyes now opening properly he walked back to the door and as quietly as he could pressed his ear to it to see if the death eater was still in his room. He wanted his glasses, but not so much that he would brave death eater for them. Sighing at the sound of the tell tail footsteps he turned his attention to the shower. He would feel better for one he was sure, but he knew that every choice he made now that he was held captive by Voldemort mattered.

Sirius had always told him that people would try to get you to agree to small things and then ask for more and more until you are agreeing to things you never would have other wise. Leaning across the shower he twisted the handle turning it on. Deciding that, that should give him a bit of a break for thinking he slid to the ground by the sink and rested his tired head onto his knees.

He had definitely not had enough sleep. But that was something he would need to be prepared for, although lack of sleep was firmly at the bottom of his long list of worries with torture and death being somewhere near the top. From Voldemort's 'conversation' with him he figured he was safe from death for now. Exactly how long that would last he wasn't sure.

Thinking of the man made him shudder. He squeezed his eyes shut so tight he could see lights though his lids when Ginny's dead body flashed into his mind suddenly and ferociously. Sucking in a breath he forced himself to focus on the sound of the water splashing on the floor of the shower. He needed to keep it together. His stomach felt fill and heavy though he hadn't eaten, he grabbed at it briefly. He needed to hold onto the things that mattered. He couldn't hold out forever but he didn't have to hold out that long. 'Just until the order rescues me' he thought to himself. 'I can do this'. Still preparing your self for another probable torture session is no easy task. Harry felt him self jump when a fist rapped on the other side of the door "times up." The voice said.

Standing up again he turned off the shower making sure to pass his head under the water to give himself a showered look. Picking up the towel hanging by the door he dried his head and wiped it over the floor of the shower also to make sure the effect was as real as possible. Slightly pleased with him self for tricking his captives he tossed the towel to the floor, took a deep breath, set his face to stone and opened the door.

The death eater currently had his back to him and was examining the bookshelf but he turned around as Harry stepped through into his bedroom and Harry meet the cool eyes of Lucius Malfoy with fear and distain. Lucius Malfoy was well known to be a particuly cruel death eater. Which considering what death eaters did said a lot.

"Don't stand there looking like the idiot you clearly are boy" The man said his upper lip curled in dislike "get dressed" Turning his head Harry saw a fresh pair of robes laid out on the now made bed. Relieved at Malfoy seniors interest in the books he quickly got changed out of his smelly pajarmers and into the robes before the man turned back around.

Finished he brushed down the robes and had to bite back an angry word when he spotted a green Slytherin emblem on the front corner. 'Its ok' he thought 'I know who I am".

Glancing at the man who's back was still turned on him he strode over to the bedside table and grabbed his glasses. The world came into focus once more, though it wasn't currently very pleasant. Lucius had replaced his book and was now looking at Harry like a very tiny and particuly ugly bug. "Disgusting" he said after his appraisal.

Harry bit his tongue. There was no need to start the torture early he decided; for he had no doubt that it would come. Turning towards the door Lucius began talking "come Potter, the Dark Lord wishes to see you". Feeling a chill run down his spine Harry watched Lucius open the door and step through.

"Now" he glanced at Harry his eyebrows raised mockingly "unless you want to feel the sting of my wand"

That was when Harry followed. His steps heavy, his mind and chest hollow and foreboding. The great stone walls that surrounded him felt suffocating. He spotted no windows. The only light came from the candle's that lined the walls. There shadows swirled around them as they walked. It smelt of burning wax and stale stone. Even so there was no dust settled anywhere, but the castle (for that was what Harry was sure it was) had a definite feeling of disuse and he decided that it must have been one of Voldemort's more recent acquirements.

Large wooden doors and archways branched off from them and Harry cautiously allowed himself to look down each of these for a hint of natural light. It did not feel right that the death eater was not being more careful, Harry was not bound in any form and the man had his back to him as he led the way. Were they so confident that Harry could not escape? Was it a trap? Harry tensed as they passed a large corridor with a bright light just around its far end. Harry slowed down testing his captor's awareness of him. Swallowing hard he briefly contemplated making a run for it down the corridor. But his courage did not hold and he had passed it before he could reconsider. Promising himself that if he saw another such corridor with bright light just around its corner he would take the chance that presented itself to him he turned his attention back onto the death eater striding along in front of him.

They travelled up a huge spiral staircase with stone snakes winding around its middle collum, and down yet another long and dark corridor. Despite walking slowly Harry found no further brightened halls to pin his hopes on. It was with shaking legs that he came to stand beside Lucius, who was waiting for him out side some large double doors that had heavy mental beams across there middle with small silver inscriptions in a language that Harry was unfamiliar with.

He watched as Lucius knocked using the large metal knocker fashioned in the shape of a snakes skull. He swallowed and wished he had thought of going to the toilet before leaving the bathroom. His memory of yesterday's horrible meetings with the dark lord still fresh in his mind. His hands clutched onto his robe as he waited.

"Enter" he heard the nightmarish mans voice drift through the door. The door was being opened and rhe, Harry would walk through. His hand twisted in his robe, the door was swinging open. r

Malfoy grabbed him roughly and pushed him into the room.

"Leave us" He heard the dark lord say and he was released. Moments later the doors closed behind him with a loud bang.

He was in a large chamber, which was mainly empty. There were five large bookshelves lining the wall either side of the double doors. A table and two very different chairs were in one corner but other than that there was nothing else there.

"How do you like it Harry?" the dark lord asked as if he were presenting him with a gift.

Harry didn't know what he was expected to say and thought it better to not reply. Voldemort appeared to be in a largely good mood and so there was a lack of pain in his four head.

Voldemort was not at all fazed by his silence "This is where the majority of your training will take place" The man said a small smile on his face. For a moment Harry thought he looked almost human. If it were not for his red eyes he might have been mistaken for a man and not the monster that he was.

He wanted to scream at the man to stop it. But knew better.

And then the word clicked into his mind 'training'?

"I don't understand," he said

"I'm going to train you personally"

"No"

"Huummm?"

"I'm not a death eater, I'll never be a death eater"

"Come now Harry, Its not so bad" the man said reaching out and placing his hand on Harry's shoulder.

Harry flinched back immediately eyeing the offending hand with disgust. It had been a strangely fatherly gesture. Something that made him feel angrier than was wise in a situation he knew he needed to keep his cool in. forcing him self to focus he looked again around the room giving himself another moment.

And still there was no pain in his scar.

The dark lord let his arm drop a disappointed expression on his face.

"I have created a timetable for you" The man said striding over to the table and taking a seat in a large armchair. "Please sit down," he said gesturing towards the smaller chair.

Something very strange was going on. Shaking his head in bewilderment Harry walked over and sat down, eyeing the chair momentarily unsure if it would jump to life and hold him down. But it was as safe as any chair he sat in, in Hogwart's and only shifted briefly to be more comfortable for him.

Voldemort un-rolled a piece of parchment and glanced over it briefly. "You have several hours of personal training with me first thing." He said pushing a plate towards Harry that had appeared out of thin air. A moment latter a piece of toast with butter and jam appeared and a full glass of water.

"Eat – after that you have your studies, I have taken the liberty of hiring one of the best magical scholars of our time" Voldemort paused and looked at Harry "We wont get along very well if you can't follow simple instructions, eat"

Harry frowned; it was such a simple thing. But he could here Sirius's words echoing in his head and he was sure that was what Voldemort was doing. Getting him to agree to the small things first. Well he wouldn't.

"He will be tutoring you in all your subjects until dinner which you will spend with me." Voldemort looked at him again. He was not looking at the man directly but he could feel his gaze.

"You will have to learn to obey me child. I will not have it any other way, after all a family can not function as it should when the child does not listen and obey his guardian"

Harry remained silent. His teeth pushed so hard together that they hurt.

Sighing in mock exasperation the dark lord removed his wand "very well Harry, the hard way then – crucio"

Harry jumped at the word but was unable to move out of the way in time. Instead the curse hit him as he attempted to hurl him self from the chair. He fell back into it his hands grasping the arms. He screamed and felt his body shifting in desperation to escape the pain. And then it was lifted. He sat still the muscles through out his body ached from constricting in there attempts to flee the pain. His fingers hurt and would not obey him so he let them rest where they were still grasping the arms of his chair. Sucking in several breaths he lifted his chin.

Voldemort's calculating eyes were observing him in interest. Harry turned his head away.

"Do you not understand what I am offering you?"

Harry did not respond his eyes focused intently on the far wall.

"A family Harry"

Harry's head snapped back to Voldemort, his nostrils flaring. Forgetting his muscles Harry flung himself out of his chair sending it to the ground. "YOU BASTARD!" He screamed.

Reaching for his wand and finding it gone did not help his anger. He leaned forward and then back in Voldemort's direction as if fighting himself. After a moment he instead kicked the toppled chair. "I HATE YOU!"

Voldemort stood in a swift movement and walked towards Harry who was breathing heavily and red in the face. He wanted to pumble the Dark Lord. He could feel his heart raising, his fists were clenched. He could feel bile rising in his throat.

"If you truly hated me you would not let your fear get in the way," The man said his red eyes boring into Harry.

"You killed my parents"

"And yet you have forgiven me" Voldemort said placing his hand on Harry's shoulder again.

"Don't touch me," Harry growled swiping the offending hand away. Levelling his eyes at Voldemort's, trying to express the rage he felt inside he said, "I will never forgive you and one day I'm going to kill you"

Harry felt a prickle of pain in his scar but it quickly disappeared.

"What do you want?" Harry growled.

"You" The dark lord said simply as he turned his back on Harry and moved back towards his chair.

"Why!"

"You are a very powerful wizard"

"Me?"

"You are going to do your OWL's this year are you not?" Sitting back down calmly Voldemort turned his crimson eyes back onto Harry.

"Yes – but that doesn't mean anything"

Voldemort raised his eye brows "Sirius started my training when I was eight and I started taking first year classes when I was nine, I had a head start on every one else"

"Tell me something Harry – when exactly did you first manage to conjure a fully formed Patronus?"

Harry looked away. "I had to learn it, the Dementors were after Sirius"

"When Harry?"

Harry swallowed "it does not matter"

Harry could here his heart beating in his chest, feel it pounding against his ribs.

"A man conjuring that charm is good, a teenager- that is impressive, a child… that - that boy is extraordinary"

Harry shivered "I had to" Harry said weakly "to defend myself"

The dark lord laughed "come now, you can not lie to me. It wasn't about self-defence" the dark lord smirked arrogantly at the boy "you wanted to protect your Godfather, your family" … "and yet you couldn't could you" Voldemort leaned forward in his chair "everyone you try to protect dies".

The fury that had been slowly disappearing returned with a horrible stabbing anguish.

He could barely remember what he did in those terrible moments. He saw them all of them in front of his eyes, Ginny, her lifeless body in his arms… Sirius, Sirius burning. And he Harry had been there. He had been the cause of it all. And he had watched them die for it – for him. His parents and that green light that hunted his dreams, the begging of his mother. The terrible pain. The loss. He sobbed suddenly. At some point, though he was not sure when, the Dark Lord had approached him again.

Harry clutched at his face with his hands, his fingernails buried them self in his skin, forcing his mind away from them all. Then there was a darkness all around him. Surrounding him. He sat there in that comforting darkness for a few moments, his breathing slowed and then with a burning hatred he realised that he was in the arms of his enemy. He felt it in his chest like fire, it hurt, it was painful, it was satisfying, hate made his mind return to focus. His senses back to him he felt something hard pressed to the side of his ribs. Realising what it was he slipped his hand slowly into his enemy's robes making sure to maintain his sobbing. With a shocking satisfaction he felt the wood of Voldemort's wand in his hand.

Voldemort meanwhile was whispering into Harry's ear "there now my boy, I can give it all back to you". Harry could almost here the satisfaction in the mans voice. It only fuelled his anger.

"The family that you want so very much can be yours"…

Harry shifted briefly, he at some point during his brief break down had slipped to the ground and now he was regaining his footing so that he could spring up.

"You could be mine, my heir, my son, my family "

Propelling him self up he flung away the startled dark lord. Swinging around in the same moment he pointed the wand at the man who had done it all, the man who had killed them all. The man who had stolen his life and any hope of happiness or a normal life.

He felt the rage inside him, saw the narrowing slits of the red eyes before him in satisfaction, raised his enemy's wand that felt so right in his hand.

It had all happened in a single moment, he had risen up powerfully flinging off one darkness and becoming another so seamlessly he did not notice it. "Crucio" he said, true hate dripping off of every letter.

The dark lord gasped and stumbled forward.

And then Harry dropped the wand. Horror cursing through him as he realised what he had done. For a moment he stood in shock, the wand rolling away from him, Voldemort coming to his full hight again. What had he done?

He had just tortured some one. He had just tortured the most feared dark lord of all time. And then he had dropped the wand. He was dead. Looking down franticly for the wand he saw too late that it had come to a rest just inches from the feet of the dark lord.

His scar was hurting. He was running. He was flinging open the doors.

His strides were fast and desperate. Back down the corridor, down the spiral staircase. He needed to reach that light. The light he had seen at the end of the corridor. He needed to get out. His shadow danced around him as he rushed passed the candles, his breath sounded heavy in his ears. Around the corner. He was in the corridor. The light was so close. His running steps sounded loud. He was going to make it.

But then there were strong arms around him. Halting him. Horrible arms and a terrible pain. He screamed, fighting with all the power in his body. He was so close. So very, very close. He tried tearing away. He kicked with his legs. The pain got worse. He could see lights behind his eyes. It was too much. He felt himself collapse. He was released; he fell to the ground grasping at his head.

"Do not run again," he was told.

Raising his head from the stone ground he looked up towards the light at the end of the corridor.

"Stand up"

He squeezed his eyes closed. He wasn't strong enough.

He couldn't do this.

He was just a boy.

He shouldn't have to.

A second pair of hands were manhandling him now. Yanking him from the ground and turning him around to face the dark lord.

Finding himself facing those terrible eyes he turned away. The dark Lord did not mind and Harry found himself being led away from the light and back down the corridor, up the spiral stair case and into the large chamber though the double doors.

There he was thrown to the ground again. The two death eaters responsible for stoping his flight pushed him to the floor before turning and leaving at the dismissal of their lord.

Harry stood back up; he clutched his hands at his sides. His chin jutted out in forced bravery.

The dark lord was watching him closely, a snarl on his face.

"There is no leaving Harry," the man said. "So what shell I do with you? Hmmmm, I can do what ever I wish…"

The man considered him. "I could kill you now… certainly any one else would be dead"

The dark lord laughed then. Shocked, Harry took a step back.

"May I present the idiot boy who dared torture the most feared and powerful dark lord to have ever walked the earth" He laughed again.

Harry took a further step back.

"The baby who defeated the greatest magician of all time" Laughing the dark lord walked towards Harry his face looking manic and enraged all at once.

"The child who preformed one of the most powerful Patronus charms on record" Smirking the dark lord looked down at Harry who suddenly felt extremely short.

"Shell I shear a little secret with you Harry?" The man said "one of the many secrets kept from you by your beloved Albus Dumbledore"

The man laughed yet again, his entire temperament and behaviour was unnerving to Harry. It was so… out of character and insane.

The mans eyes flashed at him "do you want to know how the Aurors found you and Sirius that day?"

Harry wide eyed watched as Voldemort leaned in close to him, a wild smile on his face "it was your Patronus - it was such an exquisite piece of magic, so powerful that the head of the Aurors assumed very wrongly that it had been I who had preformed it." Voldemort's face returned to its emotionless state "so you see Harry, you truly are responsible for your godfathers death, it was because of you that they discovered your hiding place, and for you that they killed him… crucio"

Any mercy that the dark lord had shown to Harry on previous occasions was gone…

The dark lord sat in his study with a collection of books and scrolls spread out before him. But they were currently being ignored by the man whose thoughts were solely on the boy he had locked up in the dungeons. The memories he had taken from the boy the day before had been useful, very useful.

But not near as useful as the feelings that had accompanied them. Abandonment, loneliness, rejection, and such a hunger for normality, for a family, for love. It was intense and unquenched. Harry Potter had been beginning to see Dumbledore as his family, but that could be quickly destroyed.

Of corse he had known the child had not had an easy life, but the true extent of the neglect and loneliness the child had experienced at the hands of his Muggle relatives and at such a vulnerable age; had been unrealised. It seemed that for once Muggle's had been useful to him. They had done half his job for him.

It had also helped that Harry had watched his godfather die. The mans rescue of the boy from the Dursley's could have been the undoing of all the Muggle's work. The boy had felt accepted and loved by the man; he had gained the family he had always dreamed of. Having your souls deepest desire given to you and then ripped away in such a traumatic manner would harm any one. For an already fragile child it had been devastating.

Still Dumbledore had been working his magic again. He had been on a clear crusade to help the boy. And perhaps it had been working. But it seemed most of the healing the boy had managed had only been skin deep for as soon as he had applied the correct pressure (the death of the Weasley girl and the use of some Dementors) Harry's feelings returned just as fresh and strong as they had been they day he watched his God father burn.

The dark lord felt highly satisfied. It would not be difficulty to control Harry Potter, soon enough the boy would break and join him.

His thoughts turned to Harry's little rebellion earlier that day. That had angered him wildly. He had felt his usual control and precision melt away. No one had ever dared… any other would be dead now. But Harry wasn't just any one. Harry had a piece of himself in him. A precious piece of his very soul. And that wasn't all… but just the thought of that deception made him wild with suppressed rage.

The discovery that a piece of his soul had been walking around in his greatest enemy had been enough for him to decide to kidnap the boy, his other discovery soon after… that had changed everything.

Flinging the books and scrolls from his desk he swept form the room, he needed to consult with some one older and wiser than himself…

Primaaryet: Thank you.

Pleiadeswolfe: The suggested order of the other stories is this 1. "The legend of Harry Potter" 2. "No Ones Hero" and this story. If you like the character Arden in those stories then I suggest reading "Arden" if not then don't bother as its not important just perhaps interesting. "I like how Voldemort was kind to him there at the end. To me it sounds like Voldemort will get better results with Harry if he is kind to him." That is Voldemort's thinking exactly.

Werewolf777: I am glad you approve. Thank you.

Proof: Thank you.

Pithy: Thank you. The poem at the top is especially for you. I hope that you like it.

zesty cyanide: Yes I am sure. This story is part of a series and with the plans that I have for this story anything different would not work. I am glad that you like my story. Thank you.