Disclaimer - I don't own anything, et cetera.

A/N - It's ridiculous how I come up with the most ideas for fics when I am supposed to be revising for my exams, haha. But I wrote this last night, and I thought I'd post it so when I come home from my French exam tomorrow, I might have some nice reviews to look forward to... maybe? Haha.

This is my first time writing an all dialogue fic, and I hope it worked out okay. And yes, I seem to be back onto the fluff, after the angstyness of my last Snape-centric story. Yay! So yeah, if you hate the format of this, sorry, I'm just practicing dialogue, because I suck at writing it.

And you know what? I'm going to dedicate this to Pam, even though she'll never read this, but I'll tell her it's dedicated to her and it will hopefully make her happy. Pam, if you do read this, ich liebe dich, and also... DR COX. And I hope you aren't disappointed in me for certain things. Haha. Ignore that if you aren't called Pam, haha.

So yeah. Reviews please! Cheer me up after my exam? Please?

Persuasion

"Hermione?"

"Yes Ron?"

"D'you… you know…feel like it?"

"Feel like what?"

"Well…"

"Ron! I've been at work since eight this morning and in case you hadn't noticed, it's eleven at night and I'd like to sleep, and oh, I'm eight and a half months pregnant with our first child!"

"Yeah, but…"

"So I see you've got over that fear of, what was it? Poking our baby in the face?"

"It could happen."

"It's medically impossible Ron."

"Ah, so you're thinking about it?"

"Honestly, look, I'm exhausted. And I'm trying to read!"

"You're always trying to bloody read. You read all day at work and then you read all day here."

"I like to read!"

"I know; I've known you since first year remember?"

"Oh, I remember. I'll be telling our baby about how you weren't very nice to me back then. She'll know just how much of a nasty piece of work her daddy is."

"One, I'm not a nasty piece of work at all, I'm in fact, a very nice young man, and what makes you so sure it's going to be a girl? You didn't get one of those Muggle ultra-things, did you?"

"No, but I'm a woman, I can just tell."

"You'll look pretty stupid when he comes out then."

"Why do you have to turn everything into an argument Ron?"

"Because you're especially beautiful when you're pissed off at me."

"Thank you Ron. Yes, I must be beautiful, considering I'm as big as a house."

"You are though."

"Ron - , you know you can't always get round me by kissing me?"

"Most of the time I can."

"Ron - Mmm."

"What was that Hermione?"

"I said… Mmmm."

"I thought so."

"I'm sure Ginny never has this trouble with Harry. I'm sure Harry respects her wishes, and doesn't try to seduce her when she's clearly not in the mood."

"I really do not want to be thinking about my sister and Harry getting it on thank you very much."

"Well, don't try anything then."

"Yeah, but you are in the mood. I can tell."

"You cannot tell!"

"Oh yes I can."

"How then?"

"Just can."

"No you can't, and I am going to continue reading this book, until I finish my chapter, at which point I am going to turn off the light and go to sleep. And you are going to leave me alone!"

"See with anyone else, this would be the pregnancy hormones talking, but with you, you're like this all the time!"

"Shut up!"

"Ow! No need for that!"

"It'll be canaries next."

"Fine. I'll read a book too."

"Flying with the Cannons again?"

"It's a classic!"

"Of course."

"…Hermione?"

"What? You've read a page, and now you're bored?"

"I know it off by heart anyway."

"I'm sure you do. Anyway, what now?"

"What are we going to call him?"

"Her! And I don't know. I quite like Annie. Or Rosie. Or Cassandra."

"I like Ron Junior."

"I bet you do."

"It's better than your names. You can't call a boy Rosie."

"It's not going to be a boy, Ron!"

"It is."

"It's not! And even if it was, we would not be calling it Ron Junior. Something more intelligent, like Michael, or William."

"Like that Shakespeare bloke? Always comes back to bloody books with you, doesn't it?"

"Now that you come to mention it, I do like the name Hugo. As in Victor Hugo."

"Victor??"

"No, not Victor, not like that, it's… oh forget it. It hardly matters anyway, I'm sure she's a girl."

"Say she was a girl… could we call her Ronilda?"

"I'm not even going to answer that."

"Ronilda Weasley. I like that. It has a ring to it."

"Fine then. If it's a boy, we call him Herm. The masculine version of Hermione."

"No, don't. We don't want to scar the poor kid for life."

"What like Harry, you mean?"

"Oh Hermione, that was a bit bitchy there…"

"Yes, well I know the name Albus Severus has a lot of significance for Harry, and it's a really lovely gesture, but –"

"That poor kid."

"Yes. I mean… oh, shut up Ron!"

"You know it's true."

"Don't tell him I said that Ron. I don't want the Head of the Auror Office on my back. Let me get back to my book, for heaven's sake."

"Harry's winning now though."

"What?"

"He's got two kids, and we don't even have one yet. He's winning."

"I thought you didn't want to have a lot of kids. You said two or three would be fine!"

"Yes, but he's won. He's had his kids first, hasn't he?"

"Clearly Ginny's super fertile."

"Hermioneee!"

"Sorry, sorry, I won't do it again. I know it annoys you."

"Are you agreeing to be nice to me? Because being nice to me includes other things as well…"

"Ron, you have a one track mind!"

"I can't help it, when you're there, looking all sexy and everything."

"We were having such a lovely discussion, about our unborn child, and you go and turn it all back to sex. As usual!"

"Okay. Let's have a discussion. Who do you think he… or she! will look like?"

"Well, those Weasley genes are pretty strong. Red hair and freckles, no doubt. Probably lanky, too."

"But he… or she, will have your eyes."

"No, your eyes. Blue are better than brown."

"No they aren't. You have nice eyes, you know."

"Thank you."

"I mean it you know. You're beautiful. And not just when I want to shag you either. The rest of the time too. Even though I want to shag you all the time."

"Oh. Thank you."

"I do love you, Hermione."

"I love you too."

"How much?"

"Ron!"

"I'm joking, I'm joking."

"I hope our baby doesn't have your sense of humour."

"He will. Sorry, I mean, she."

"She?"

"If you think it's a girl, it's a girl."

"You aren't just saying that?"

"Hermione, you're always right. And if anything, I hope our kid gets your brains. She'll be top of all of her classes. She'll beat any kid of Malfoy's, hands down."

"I heard his wife gave birth last week. A little boy."

"Whoopee for Ferret Boy. What did he call it?"

"He! And I can't remember. I think it was Scorpius."

"Scorpius?"

"Don't be horrible Ron, you can't laugh at a week old baby."

"Promise me we won't name our baby anything stupid."

"We won't. So that's no stupid names, and no naming her after anybody."

"Good. Haha, Scorpius. That's never not going to be funny."

"Ron, concentrate on our own baby."

"Right okay. Yeah, she'll beat Scorpius in everything. I mean, everything. Quidditch, as well. And she'll be beautiful."

"She'll get my bushy hair, I know it."

"That'll make her even more beautiful."

"I can never tell whether you're just trying to sleep with me when you compliment me, Ron."

"Sorry."

"Well, which is it? Do you mean it, or are you just trying to persuade me?"

"Erm… both."

"Good."

"What? Why?"

"Because it worked. All this talk of us, and our baby… I do love you Ron, so much."

"Oh yes. I'm in."

"Ron!"