Sorry for my lack of updates. I've been getting more hours at work, and to be honest, my home life isn't that conducive for writing right now. The only reason I'm writing at the moment is because I'm so tired of everything and feeling borderline unstable, so I'm channeling my inner Deidara—the key to Conversations. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Raunchy stuff now, fluff is next chapter.

Chapter 10: Sex

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"Are you gay?"

Deidara paused his spoon in mid-air. From the corner of his eye, he could see bits of his lunch—a piece of fish or some gruel or something (he stopped trying to guess anymore)—fall from his spoon back onto the tray as he stared at her blankly, trying to figure out how to respond to that question.

"Um…should you really be asking that while I'm eating?" he finally settled on as he placed his spoon back down on the tray, an uneasy quizzical look on his face. To be honest, he shouldn't have been so shocked that she would ask that—it was the second most popular question he got other than what gender he was, and Sakura had asked stranger questions before—but it seemed out of place to be asked that. In a jail cell. Eating lunch. By Sakura.

'Really, sometimes I think the guys at Akatsuki have better manners than her—and Zetsu ate the table,' he thought grimly as a flashback of Zetsu devouring a table corner played in his mind.

"Does it really matter? It's a jail cell. Manners don't have any weight in here. Or did you forget about the tray-incident next door?"

The incident Sakura was referring to happened during the shift change a few weeks ago. The guard who was stationed after her, a burly thirty-something-yr-old man with a long jagged scar over his left eye, was collecting trays from the midday meal when he reached his howling neighbor. The man, obviously mentally unstable, refused to give it up, instead hugging to the back wall of his cell and hoarding it like a rat with cheese. The guard asked for it again, and for his troubles, the man shit in the tray, still hoarding it until the guard finally had to open the cell and retrieve it—Pinkie explained why to him once. Something about protocol, cost of trays and supplies for the prison being very costly, dangers of trays being fashioned into shanks or escape tools, blah-blah-blah. Honestly, they probably just didn't want to have to file the paperwork for a lost tray.—when the guy smashed the tray against the back wall, then attempted to stab the guard with his food-and-shit-smeared tray, making Sakura come back with two guards to take care of the situation. Oh yeah, he didn't forget. But still…

"Unlike that guy, I'm sane," he countered snootily, returning to his meal with a perfectly poised spoon. Sakura scoffed, folding her arms over her chest. "Tch, yeah right," she muttered under her breath.

"Watch it, pinkie," he snapped, eyes narrowing dangerously from over his shoulder. And it would've been a fairly dangerous display if it weren't for the fact that he was sitting down and she was standing up, giving her a good two-and-a-half feet of difference to smile down at him condescendingly. Behind her, the faint warning crackle of chakra made Deidara bite his tongue. He knew when he was beat. If only they were outside, then he could teach her. Hell, it'd only take a few minutes for him to corner and disarm her. It wouldn't be hard. All he had to do was set off a blast to knock her off her feet, catch her and pin her arms before she knew what hit her, and lock her body against a tree. She'd probably struggle, but a few clay bombs across her skin would show her who was in control. At the image of her smooth milky skin poised for the taking, the mouths in his hands salivated.

"So, gay or straight; which is it?" Sakura said, steering the conversation back to where it started. Normally, she wouldn't care—why would she care about the sex lives of other when she was busy studying for her medical exams and filing the village's paperwork?—but Deidara was special.

Deidara's sexual orientation had actually come up a lot during mission campfires when they had been searching for leads on Akatsuki, mostly because they had run out of things to talk about and no one wanted to hear another one of Naruto's ramen speeches or hear Sai talk in general. Once she found out she was assigned to be his guard, Sakura's mind supplanted the question in the back of her head on a whim—something to kill the time as she whittled the hours down until the blonde clay-user was finally sentenced to death and she could move on with her life with some more cash in her pocket. But now, the question was something she couldn't get her mind off of. Actually, Sakura found that Deidara was on her mind a lot more recently.

Annoyed that his pink-haired guard was still pushing her question—really, was this any way to treat her elders? Was this how far society had fallen?—Deidara had half a mind to just ignore her until her shift rang up, but thought against it. Partially because she might just pester him about it until he cracked (which is what she did sometimes when her magazines were done and he wouldn't supply her a response), but also because Deidara had grown fond of their conversations. Actually, they were the favorite part of his day—not that it really meant much given his circumstances, he told himself.

So it was with that train of thought that he answered quietly, "I'm bi," as he lifted the spoon back to his lips, his back still to the gate and her. There, it wasn't a complete surrender of his pride.

"Seriously?" she asked.

Deidara sucked on his spoon plaintively before taking it out to wave it around in his hand absentmindedly. "Well, I prefer girls, but I'll take my fun where I can."

After all, in their line of work when they could die at any moment, a bit of naughty fun with either sex could be quite stress-relieving and many shinobi commonly used sex as a way of escape besides alcohol. And to be honest, in a profession where sleeping with the enemy to gain information or to get closer to a target was the norm and one never knew if they would be seducing a member of the same or opposite sex, Deidara saw sexual orientation as straight or gay as somewhat of a luxury. To seek a sexual relation with a preferred sex was something a shinobi could do only in spare pockets of rest; and to do it on a regular basis was the luxury of a civilian. And as a member of an illegal crime ring who was always on the run or running to something with rarely any time to himself, why should he waste his valuable time being picky? He may have preferred women, but he'd still fuck a man any day if it meant getting laid. After all, though it was a different matter concerning art, a bang was a bang.

Suddenly, he was at the bars, turning his head playfully at her that, if Sakura had anything to say about it, was almost…cute. "So what's your kink, pinkie?"

Instantly, her mind shot to that accursed jutsu Konohamaru did of Sasuke and Sai. Sasuke might have been a heartless bastard and Sai was one of those people who was better off seen and not heard, but together, the two were electrifyingly and devastatingly hot. Then again, it was hard not to be as two of the handsomest shinobi men Sakura had the pleasure of ever knowing. Even Deidara wasn't half bad, and her mind began to wander down that dark sordid path of his late-night liaisons. Of how he probably played dominant more often; of quick, dirty fucking-sessions in the back alleys and sleazy motel rooms; of how his multitude of tongues set a symphony of pleasure in his partner's bodies. And somewhere in a corner of her mind, she wondered how it would feel if those tongues were on her.

Instantly, Sakura pulled back from her mind, her shrill shriek of surprise echoing the walls as a blush as bright and pink as her hair spanned her entire face to creep down her neck.

Deidara laughed. "You should see how pink you are! You're so embarrassed. You're such a virgin…haha! I'm dying…I'm dying…" he said breathlessly as tears stung his eyes and he hugged his stomach because she was so embarrassed! She was so virginal that it was adorable. If this was how she reacted to just talking about sex, what would her reaction actually be in bed?

Sakura merely held her tongue, cupping a hand over her mouth. She had no intention of correcting Deidara about the cause of her thoughts. If he thought she was some sheltered, prudish virgin, then so be it. She had more important things to deal with, like the morbidly-fascinating scenario she just thought up because she just imagined having sex with a wanted felon from the bingo book. One that she had been talking to for weeks now and had three tongues! Three tongues were not normal! But then again, neither was her fantasy. Instantly, an image of her pinned against the wall by Deidara as the wicked tongue in his right hand ventured elsewhere appeared in her mind's eye, drawing a deeper blush of mortification to her face. What did she just…

Laughter dying, Deidara looked up at her with a bright smile as he wiped the tears from his eyes and the last bits of the aching pains in his side faded away. At the horrified squeak that escaped her lips when he locked eyes on her, a chuckle escaped him.

"You're really cute, you know that?" he told her, drawing an even deeper blush from the girl. Deidara merely smiled, overjoyed and mirthful at her obvious discomfort because she was so easy to tease. It should've been a crime for how much fun it was, but even if it was a felony and he wasn't in jail, Deidara probably wouldn't have stopped. The refreshing honesty in her personality was too addicting; the blush on her face too cute to want to stop, and briefly he wondered how far down her body that pink blush could go.

However, taking one look at her face told him to stop. Her face was as red as the clouds on his cloak and any more teasing would probably make her faint. So instead, as the last waves of mirth floated from his system and Sakura's cheeks looked a little less pink—something Deidara was sad to see—he draped himself lazily over the cell bars and changed tactics, looking up at her with a relaxed, charming smile. "You're really touchy about sex, aren't you?"

"N-no!' Sakura shouted, eyes hardening defensively. "I'll have you know that I've taken the kunoichi classes for—what?" she asked at his incredulous look.

Deidara merely sighed. She couldn't be serious, right? "Pinkie, you're so pure, it hurts. Those classes don't teach you anything. You've probably haven't even gotten your first kiss yet."

At his words, Sakura spluttered, shocked by the insinuation. "Those classes do teach you things! They teach how to hide a needle in a corset and all the erogenous zones in the body. And I have so had my first kiss!" she said testily. Of course, what she didn't tell him was that she'd only gone to those classes because they were mandatory and that her first (and only) kiss had been awkward and disappointing, and a part of her refused to kiss any more people because she was saving her other kisses for Sasuke when he returned. Indeed, that was the same part that blamed her for the disappointing nature of her only kiss, because she hadn't saved her first kiss for the dark-haired boy she kept in her heart, ruining everything. In return, the rest of her wished nothing more than that part to just go jump in a hole and die.

Unaware of the conflict inside her, Deidara looked at her with half-lidded entreating eyes, a hand reaching out to her as his voice dropped to a deep, husky tone. "Then you should know how lacking those classes are. Theory is, after all, different than practice and while you can learn how to kiss and where to touch to bring the most pleasure, knowing how to do it and doing it are two different things. After all, those classes don't teach you how to taste the differences in a kiss; how to pleasurable a simple touch can be; how fulfilling that tight, stretched feeling can be…"

As he spoke, a hand trailed lazily up the smooth expanse of her leg, the tongue in his hand lolling slightly, leaving wet trails of saliva on her skin before it seemed to grow curious and agitated at its new surroundings, licking and sucking at the skin above her ankle. Staring dazedly as she felt her lids lower and her breathing hitch, she felt her heart pound and she wondered if this was really happening, if she would really get her first hickey on her leg from an S-class Nin. But his voice was whispering the ghosts of dark fantasies and forbidden pleasures that wrapped around her like satin sheets, distracting her. What had she been doing before?

But before she could pursue that idea, before she could grab that hand and force it higher to do more wonderfully confusing things to her body, he pulled his hand away and she nearly moaned at its loss.

"See. Feels different from what they teach you in those classes now, doesn't it?" His voice was still dark and tempting, but she could detect a slight breathlessness in his voice as he spoke. It seemed he had been affected by their little moment together too. Good.

"Sex, if you do it right, will feel a million times better than what I just did to your leg. Keeping that in mind, if you could have sex with anyone, who would it be? Name three."

Sakura looked up in thought. The dreaming child who still believed in fairytale romances picked Sasuke and if she had to admit it, she'd been saving that part of herself also. Sai was a practical choice because she knew he wouldn't get emotionally attached and sleeping with teammates was always a little bit easier since they would have some idea of boundaries and what the other person liked, but the third one…

"I'd pick Sasuke, Sai, and if it had to come to it…Kakashi," she answered.

Deidara blinked in surprise. "You picked your teacher and not that yellow-haired brat loudmouth who you keep following?"

Sakura merely shrugged. It wasn't like she was immune to the appeal of a forbidden student-teacher romance, and it was common to develop a crush on someone that held such an important role in shaping you, as well as the amount of time spent together with that person. But really…

"Naruto's like a brother to me. Even if I tried—and trust me, I've tried—I just can't...I just can't think about him in that way."

Sakura couldn't tell Deidara how many months she tried liking the guy, how many hours she'd spent awake night after night telling herself to give up on Sasuke and attempt to look at Naruto with a fraction of the feelings he felt for her.

And it wasn't for a lack of trying. She would stay up late, come to lessons and training practices antsy and exhausted from sleep deprivation thinking about it. She snuck glances at his face from the corners of her eyes at lunch, forced her hands to stray a second longer as the words "Like him. Like him," repeated endlessly in her mind.

Even as she slept, the mantra would echo and warp in her skull, trying to force its way into her every cell just like Sasuke had until her very existence depended on him. She was desperately trying to like him, to find solace in his presence, to find the sunshine in his smile and feel her knees buckle and quake when he smiled at her, to have her breath stolen time and time again by the very fact he was alive and with her…but the feelings never came and she felt more lost and hollow for it. It was hopeless, and she knew it. Why?

Because as much as she loved Naruto and knew he loved her, knew she owed him more than mortal lives could repay, and wanted desperately to be happy in the sunshine of his smile, Naruto had no place in the secret, most sacred place tucked deep in her heart. That dark, throbbing, agonizing room in her heart was occupied by Sasuke, locked firmly shut with a long-lost key, and the best Naruto could ever hope for was the position of close friend and brother. And it was a thought that was hard to swallow because Sakura knew she would never be happy, but she couldn't do a thing to change it. Sasuke, despite three years gone from her sight leaving only his shadow as bait to tempt, tease, and torture her, owned her body and soul, and only he would have the key to her heart. But people were foolish in love, and wasn't love nothing but the sweetest of temptations and most divine of tortures?

Feeling tears sting the corners of her eyes, she quickly dabbed them away—Deidara looked like he was going to start pitying her again and she couldn't stand it when the S-class Nin was actually moved enough to feel sorry for her—and plastered a smile on her face. "Your turn. Name your top three picks."

Sakura was still sniffling and Deidara gave a slight grimace. He wanted to stay on the subject a little bit longer, if only to console her—he never knew she'd cry about this—but he knew when to take a hint and pushing the sounds of her sniffling aside, he looked up in thought wondering who he should pick. In the confines of his cell, any woman would do, but who did he want most splayed out under him? Who did he see when he shut his eyes and let his hands slip down to touch himself? Whose skin did his tongues crave to taste, his eyes dreamed to see with an arched back and hot dripping center speared by his body? Who would scream his name over and over again in a fit of ecstasy as he filled her body over and over again with thick globs of semen that would coat her insides and mar her flesh a glistening pretty white?

"Well, there's that girl in Akatsuki, but she's Pein's girl—completely off-limits—so I guess that Anko woman, your Hokage with the huge rack, and…you."

As he spoke, an image of her pretty-pink head below his belt flashed in his mind, her lips sucking him like her favorite candy before another image interrupted, seedier with her body glistening with sweat and soaked with the smell of sex as he entered her from behind yet again, body opening easily to his intrusion as his hand pulled her hair to easier meet the voice whispering dirty endearments in her ear. At his sordid fantasies, he smiled to himself with predatory intent and watched with enjoyment as her eyes widened in shock and a pretty pink dusted her cheeks. Briefly, he wondered if she could see herself in his mind, bent-double with her ass in the air and moaning his name like some cheap whore.

Sakura lifted a hand to her mouth, eyes widening as her mind reeled with Deidara's newfound list of top three women he wanted to have sex with. The first two made sense to her; Anko was a renowned nymphomaniac in the village while Tsunade had experience in spades. Plus, their chests were huge! Which made her, as the small-chested, still-in-puberty virgin 15-yr-old, the anomaly in the group. Because really, she was the complete opposite of his type with lush breasts and sinful curves, so why was she anywhere on his list?

She looked at him entreatingly, her deer-in-the-headlight eyes silently begging for an answer for this madness which he answered with a soft, husky chuckle. Why indeed?

To be honest, Deidara wasn't very sure either. Sakura wasn't his type at all with her lack of a noticeable chest, short stature, and young age; and he knew he wasn't suddenly turning into some pedophilic hack lolicon. But still, there was something to be said about the pink-haired kunoichi. Maybe it was the fact her coloring was a rare novelty, or the fact he was just the kinky sort of bastard to get off on a prisoner-guard relationship even if she was younger than him, or the fact she was so innocent that she begged to be played with.

Or maybe it was because she was so responsive to his teasing and his touches that she was sure to be a bit of fun in bed, or because she was so refreshingly untouched in her virginal behavior that it would be pure joy to teach her the more sinful side of pleasure. Or maybe it was just because he wanted to see his little spitfire kunoichi guard come apart at the seams in his arms and watch her go out with a burst of color, sense, and sound rivaling his work in beauty, an artist teasing majesty from a blank canvas.

But explaining that to his young, naïve guard seemed like such a chore; especially under her suddenly-wary, distantly-accusing eyes as she eyed him like some sort of monster. So instead, he melted steel into his voice and forced his lips into what he deemed was a more-appropriate irritated scowl.

"Because pinkie, I've been stuck in a jail cell for Kami-knows-how-long with nothing but you to look at and my hand isn't doing it for me anymore!" he gruffly explained, flicking her forehead for good measure. At the sudden sharp pain to her skin, Sakura drew back with a yelp before batting at him playfully, all wariness of him dropped, and he was glad that their difference in age had let him hone faking his expressions a bit more than her.

Drawing back from the bars away from her batting hands, Deidara tried to hold back the smile at his lips at the return of her light-hearted attitude.

"Besides, it's sort of morbid to do that in a jail cell—the dripping walls and creepy neighbors ruin the atmosphere—so it gets a bit desperate here. Hell, I'd even do it with that chick that looks like me, even if she's a bit of a bitch from what you tell me and it would be essentially have sex with a female version of me. I mean, can you imagine how fucking awkward that would be?" he asked pointedly, and a silence stretched between them as they both looked at each other and tried to imagine the scene in their heads, only to burst out laughing.

It would be pretty ridiculous, they agreed.