Disclaimer: I don't own Regulus. Or Sirius. Or the Death Eaters and Dark Lord. Or Hogwarts. I only own the teenage angel :)

Teenage Angel

People say what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger

But that's not true.

It's not true at all.

My name is Regulus Black and soon I will die.

I was born the younger son. No one truly loved me. All their hopes and dreams were set on Sirius.

I still remember my cousin Narcissia standing over me and laughing down at me "You'll never be anything special Regulus, never"

I was six years old, but I had realized at that minute, that I would have to make my own way in the world.

But I still wanted my parents to love me. I wanted it more than anything.

When Sirius left for Hogwarts, rebellious, angry at the world and was placed in Gryffindor I saw my chance.

I agreed with everything my parents said. I nodded eagerly when they asked me if I was proud to be a pureblood. I think that I actually convinced myself that everything they said was right.

Then Sirius came home and I wanted to be his friend again. I understood being alone and unloved, I had felt it my whole life until then. But I was too happy to be loved and admired to tell him what I really thought. That being in such a dark house made me sick. That I hated the cruel and unfeeling way that our parents were. I was selfish with my love, I didn't want to give any unless I knew I would get it back.

I was stupid. So, so Stupid.

When I went to Hogwarts, I told the hat to put me in Slytherin. It offered up Ravenclaw. I told it not to be stupid, there were "Mudbloods" in that house.

I could slap myself now.

But it grudgingly agreed to put me in Slytherin.

I can still see Sirius' face. It said "Stupid little self-obsessed git"

I thought "Sorry Sirius, I can't be like you"

We never really talked after that.

When he left I cut myself every night for a week.

But I never shed a tear.

When I was fifteen Lucius Malfoy came to see me. He told me I had enough talent and "Pure Lineage" to become a Death Eater.

This is another time when I was stupid.

I didn't want to kill, I didn't want to fight. But all I saw was a chance to become someone who was feared.

I didn't know that once you became a Death Eater, your own life is over.

So I said yes. Right away. I didn't hesitate. I didn't look back.

I wanted to scream when they branded my arm. But instead I bite my lip threw back my head and let out a hysterical laugh "You call this pain?"

I impressed them. But what I had really deep down wanted was for a friend to comfort me, hold me close, tell me that the pain would go away, that I would have a wicked scar afterward. A friend. That's what had made me laugh. Like I had a friend in this life. Not bloody likely.

Three months later I did it for the first time.

I killed someone. A teenage muggle girl who screamed tears of fear. She begged my not to kill her.

I still remember the way her tears sounded.

She looked like an angel, and I just ended her life.

She had real pretty blue eyes too.

I was a monster. I hated myself.

People say what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger.

But that's not true.

Killing the girl didn't kill me.

But it destroyed me.

Strange how that works.

I became a Death Eater to prove that I was something.

Now I'm going against the Dark Lord.

And I will die.

That's what's going to happen.

Is being dead the opposite of being someone?

I wonder if anyone will even miss me.

I wonder if there's anything about me to miss.

I wonder if Sirius will miss me.

I wonder why I want to know.

I wonder what would have happened if I had said yes to Ravenclaw.

I wonder why I care.

I wonder if I'll ever meet that teenage angel.