Title:  Hi, My Name is Harvey being the Final Part (5/5)

Author: Brendan Storm

Rating: PG

Disclaimers: As usual the DC comics characters are owned and created by

another and I am getting nothing but pleasure from this, but the created

character and the idea are mine dang it, all mine

Warning:  Yes I wrote my furry butt into the story.  There are also lousy puns in it too. Author's Notes:  This one is for everybody who's been clamoring for Brendan to match wits with Batman.  BTW because of the recent stories, I wanted to mention this is before 10c adventure. 

            "I see.  I will be on the way shortly."  The sound of tapping keys echoed in the vast cavern under Stately Wayne Manor.  A dark sinister figure glared at the screen.  The glow from the CRT cast shadows off his jaw.  He sniffed the air and frowned.  Ginger.  It was Wednesday, Wednesdays were peanut butter.

            "I regret to inform that we are out of peanut butter.  Someone has been making sandwiches while I was away with Master Tim."  The figure grunted.  "Problem, I take it?"  The impeccably dressed butler stood to the right of the figure.  A plate of ginger snaps were cooling in the tray in his hands.

            "Nightwing has succumbed to the stress of his work.  He's seeing things."  The dark figure replied.  He reached up for a cookie, and pulled his stinging and suddenly struck hand away from the plate. 

            "As opposed to your talking to shadows and trying to not be Bruce Wayne."

            "Alfred…"

            "Yes sir.  I'll just get the scuba gear and clean the penny."  The old man took the plate with him, but not before offering a warm cookie to the young blonde woman standing at the masked man's left. 

            "Noted."   Batman whipped his cape around and walked for the car. 

            "Anything I can help with?" The blonde sidekick asked.

            "Patrol my city.  Call for help.  Do not engage.  Do not make me regret… scratch that.  I already regret this.  Just be careful."

            "Yes, sir."   In the subconscious section of the personality he thought of as Bruce Wayne he had a twinge of guilt for ever bringing the former secret service agent on, but better to have her in costume than out and able to be used as an identifier.  It would be so much easier if he didn't have these conflicting feelings, secrets to keep or people to take care of.  Then again, he heard the memory of a shot and a woman's scream and remembered that Wayne was the reason he existed.  Gordon was the reason he thrived on these streets and Grayson had made him able to work with others.  He didn't want to admit that these were the reasons he didn't feel alone anymore either.

            The car rocketed out onto the freeway and along the coast to New York and in a matter of an hour he had arrived at the Titans Tower.  Driving in traffic at speeds in excess of 100mph was one of the few pleasures of being who he was.   He noticed the lax in security since the last destruction of the tower, and the holographic projector that displayed the fake T was out of alignment by a quarter of a centimeter on the south side.  He would discuss this with Troia at a later date.

            His son needed him.  The thought of son was strange, but he had felt it was needed to keep the young man in his life.  It was something Wayne wanted, had thought of doing for several years now, since Jason.  The track of this memory had gone cold; he altered his thought.  His soldier needed him.  He stepped out of the car and keyed the alarm.  The members of Nightwing's team gathered uncomfortably around him. 

            "Man, you're just the guy we've been…"

            "Where is he?"  Batman growled.  Roy showed him down the stairs to the holding cell they had Nightwing in.  The man was pacing like a caged animal.  He was shouting at something that seemed to be out of the view of the window.  His face was red and veins were popping out of his forehead.  "How long has he been like this?"

            "We put him in there when he almost drown himself in the pool.  He was trying to strangle something only he could see."

            "Magic?"

            "I can't sense anything," came the reply shyly from Garth Curry. 

            "Anyone else?"

            "Sir?"  Roy inquired. 

"Does… anyone… have… any… theories?"  Batman slowed his words down in contempt for the cocky redhead.

"It's a totem, sir."  Roy said. 

"Explain."

"A totem, a spirit guide who has something to tell him.  He won't listen.  This makes the animal angry.  Just like how you listened to Bat.  He must listen to this one.  Tkele-cho-g. *" Roy smiled quietly at Batman and turned to watch his friend.  He didn't see the cold look given to him by the cowled figure. 

"Anything else?"  There was silence.  "Anyone?"  Jessie Quick coughed quietly and the nanny, Rose Wilson, shifted uncomfortably, but no one spoke.  "Let me hear."  The button was pressed and the ranting from his former partner was audible to the room. 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH If you sing that one more fucking time I'll cut out your other eye you damn freak!"  Garth shuddered and backed away from the screen.  His wife Dolphin took him in her arms.  " What is the matter with you that you can't shut up for one minute?  … No!  I don't want to hear about it! I don't want to think about it, she's like a sister." Donna blushed.  Batman glared.  "I have a girlfriend!  AAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!" 

"Turn it off."

"He's making it mad when he won't listen.  It'll get worse and worse until he'll need a straight jacket." 

"He scares me."  Toni said from the back of the room.  "He was so cool and collected, y'know.  He was so with it.  Now he's all scary." She shivered and a loud thud echoed against the wall.  "He might hurt himself in there."

"How long has he been like this?"

"He's been declining since Gotham opened back up.  He has a girlfriend. He's mentioned that.  He has his police job, us, and patrolling his city.  He's been heading this way for a while.  Robin says he relies on Oracle too much and gets hit in the head by thugs all the time.  He's forgotten half the stuff you taught him, and he's devoted himself to too much."  Donna Troy, voice of truth and almost exactly as beautiful as her sister said.  Batman regarded her coldly. 

"I will take him.  He needs rest and he needs retraining if it's as bad as that."

"Typical.  Being neglected was a blessing."  Roy spat.  "That isn't going to help, man." Harper said.  Batman glared at him again.  "Training and more work is not what he needs."

"You know what he needs?  You asked for me."

"We asked for Bruce.  He doesn't need you." Donna Troy said, arms folded over her chest.  "Did you stop to think that you could be his problem?"

            "You called.  I came."  He said angrily.  There were five methods open to him at this second to make her unconscious, three to make her stop breathing.

            "We called his father."  She retorted.

            "He died." Batman said callously.

            "Bruce Wayne died recently?"  Contempt ran from her words in even more force than his previous attempt. 

            "I see your point.  You don't need me."  He turned and looked at Nightwing again, and out of the corner of his eye he saw a flash of white.  "Wait."  He looked again and saw nothing.  "Let me in there."

            "You saw it?"  Roy almost jumped. 

            "I saw something.  Open the door."  They did, and he entered the interrogation room.  There was nothing in the white room except Nightwing and shreds of his shirt. 

"Nightwing.  Report."

            "Bru.. Batman?  Is that you?  Of course it's you. You're real.  You'll help me.  You're my dad."

            "Report."  The bat said harshly.

            "I'm going insane, I think.  I'm trying to fight it, but it won't stop.  SHUT UP!!  I'm talking to my dad here." Batman was faintly aware of a space that looked like a heat distortion.  There was a buzz in the upper registers of his hearing.  It was faint, but there was a sense of something else in the room.  "I think I'm seeing a white rabbit."

            "Mad Hatter.  Strip."

            "It's not him."  He inched away from the older man.  "I saw it before, in my officer uniform."

            "You showered?"

            "Yes.  No, I won't tell him that."

            "What?"

            "He said to introduce him." Dick lied.

            "Fine."  Batman sat down and crossed his legs.  He still looked like he could pounce on evil at any moment, his jaw muscle jumped in an attempt to relieve the tension in his body. 

            "Batman, this is Brendan.  Brendan, this is… yes it is.  What?  You gotta be kidding."  He covered his face with his hand.  He removed his mask.  "Fine.  Brendan, this is my adopted dad, Bruce."  Batman recoiled slightly as Dick removed the cowl from his head.  He keyed a squelch on his utility belt that caused all cameras and listening devices to go nuts. 

            "Brendan." Batman said. Dick reacted to the shimmer, which seemed to come closer.  There was nothing there, but his subconscious could feel the presence of another. 

            "Yeah," Dick was talking for the unseen thing now, repeating what he heard for the larger man.  "The Navigator, the finder of lost ways.  You have a problem with that?  It's a fluke anyway I got this gig.  He lost his way, his purpose.  But you.  You've lost yourself, man.  Are you in there or has vengance taken over your senses?"  Dick's eyes seemed to roll back into his head as he spoke.  "You've lost yourself."

            "I am what I am.  Why are you here?"

            "To lead the way, dude.  I'm sent as a mental kick in the ass for this dipshit.  He has a great job, a great woman, and great friends, but if he doesn't slow down, he's going to kill himself, and it will be his fault.  Dude, I never would have thought I'd have to come to you.  But I've been doing this for a long time.  After Topeka I visited your friend Kal.  After Wally came back from that Kobra thing a few years ago I visited him too.  And J'onn, I've been hanging out with J'onn off and on for years now." 

            "Why not me?"

            "Why is it that every time I meet one of you people the first thing out of their yaps is 'Go bug batman, he needs you more.' I never needed to.  You used to like being all uptight and the Boy Scout.  You were Trustworthy, Honest, ok not cheerful thrifty and kind, but you sure knew your knots and had a frickin merit badge for kicking ass.  Well, not Boy Scout exactly, then, more like a Mountie.  Always prepared, ever vigilant.  Always get your man, or woman, or gator or mud monster, or muppet, or whatever.  That's it.  A Dark, sinister bad ass Mountie.  You enjoyed your work, took pride in it.  Both of you did.  Now, there's something festering in him, and you… you lost everything, you just don't know it yet.  I wish I could tell you, man.  Fine girl too."

            "Explain."

            "No.  Drop the whole single phrase bullshit and tell this joker what he needs to hear.  From your lips, not the Bat's not as an order, but yours."
            "I am the Bat."

            "Bullshit."

            "There is nothing else."

            "Bullshit again, you fucking child.  Your best friend leaves you and you push everyone away except the one person who's been forced onto you?  You refuse all help when you have literally a family to turn to?  You're not a great detective. You're fucking Dr. Watson compared to a real detective." 

            "Get out of him.  I don't know what you are but get out of him."

            "What, because I'm saying truth?  Bring in the chick with the hooters and the bondage fetish.  See if it's not true." 

            "Stop.  If I do this, you'll leave?"

            "Nothing in life is guaranteed, but I'd say he'll listen to you.  Why, I have no clue."

            "He's a good soldier."

            "So was the dead one.  Do something."  And then Dick's eyes rolled back into place.  The shimmer in his mind's eye moved away and Dick began coughing violently.

            "Dick.  Are you ok?"

            "Yeah, that was awful.  I feel like I had fur in my mouth."

            "Did you hear any of that?"

            "No.  I think I blacked out." 

            "You need to rest.  I can't use you if you aren't up to par."  That wasn't how to say it.  He tried again.  "I mean, you're going to hurt yourself if you don't slow down.  I may need you at a moment's notice, but I can't rely on you if you're not on top of your performance.  No, wait."  The shimmer came closer.  It seemed angry now. 

Flustered, Batman tried to think of another way to say this, a Bruce Wayne way to say it, but that fool would have flubbed the words too.  How would his father have said this?  "Dick.  This isn't healthy.  You're doing too much.  You can't continue all this or you'll drive yourself into the ground.  I think this is just a warning sign."  He decided to take a different tactic.  He coughed slightly and tried to sound convincing.  "Something has a plan for you, son.  You have to be ready."  That didn't work at all.  He sighed and finally said, "Just do what I've always taught you.  Find out what the problem is.  Then solve it."  Bruce looked for the heat ripple.  It was still there.  He buried his head in his arms and said angrily,  "Listen…  Listen to the… thing.  Hear what it says."  He sighed.  "If it is what Harper says, you won't be rid of it until you do."

            "I can't."

            "Yes you can."

            "It wants me to stop doing what I love, Bruce.  It wants me to…"

            "I never said stop, dummy." Brendan said.  Bruce looked around.  He couldn't see the shimmer, but he could hear the voice, sad and hurt.  "All I said was to slow down.  Take a break.  A vacation.  Go to Disney world, or Six Flags and ride the roller coaster.  Be pampered by your beautiful girlfriend who is finally warming up to you and cares so very much about her former boy wonder.  Cut back, but don't stop.  You do love this, as much as he used to.  Be there for him, he'll need you in the next few months, he'll need your faith.  But he'll be lost if you don't rest."

            "Rest?"

            "Rest, chum."  Bruce replied.

            "Chum.  Ew."

            "What?"

            "Ripped up fish guts."

            "What?"

            "You are from a New England old money state and you don't remember that chum is what they use to attract fish?"  The voice of the rabbit was full of mirth.  Dick stared at Bruce openmouthed. 

            "He wore yellow and red and stood out so well.  What else could I call the boy?"

            "Holy shit, you do have a sense of humor."  Dick said slowly.  "Fine.  I'm going to need to call my boss at the precinct."  The cowl came up and the privacy device came off.  "Thank you, Batman."

            "Thank Harper.  Damn it."

            Three days later a visibly sunburned man in cargo pants and a t-shirt reading "I ate the worm." sat in a lounger on the beach of a Caribbean shore.

            "Excuse me, sir?"

            "Yes."

            "I asked for a Mai Tai.  This is a Pina Colada." 

            "I'm sorry?"  The cabanna boy looked like a deer in the headlights of the Car.

            "Also I asked for no salt.  Look at this, there are big grains , Big Grains of salt! I swear, I'll take my American dollars to a competing resort."  A still blindingly white hand slapped the American in the back of the head.  "Ow."

            "Drink yer drink, man wonder."

            "Yes dear."  The cabana boy broke and ran from the tourists and back to his towel room.  Miles away, a white rabbit sat in front of a coffee shop and watched for the telltale green glow of his next mission's subject.

THE END

*TKELE-CHO-G according to the website http://www.history.navy.mil/faqs/faq61-4.htm is the code word for the letter j, or in more literal Navaho, the word jackass.  Most native languages don't have curse words like English, but Roy's inventive.