Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or the characters.

Chapter One: Going Back

Sara had not anticipated the resistance she would get from Dr. Daly when she informed her she wanted to move back to Vegas. Early on in her therapy she had brought the subject up, and the doctor quickly nixed the idea, pointing out that she was a long way away from living with her disorder. Even so, Sara reasoned that people change doctors all the time, why should this be any different. Her mind was made up when she went into the office for her appointment.

Sara entered the office, taking her usual posture in her usual chair, "Dr. Daly, I've made a decision." She shifted nervously, "I've decided that it's time for me to return to Las Vegas. I was hoping you could recommend a doctor there for me to continue with."

Dr. Daly calmly eyed Sara up, "Sara, I really think you need to hold off on that, at least for now, anyway."

"I've made up my mind. I can't stay away from Gil any longer. You've really helped me understand some of the reasons why I left, and what I need to face to get well, and I'd like to go back now."

"This isn't like treating high blood pressure, there's no recipe to follow, no algorithm. Treating a disorder like yours is a journey, and we're just starting out. You will potentially lose all our progress when you move on." Not wanting to sound boastful, but needing to point out her expertise, "Also, you must be aware, there are very few psychiatrists that specialize in your disorder, and I am one of them."

"I understand all of that, but I am really feeling better, and I need to return to my life. I won't stop seeking therapy, I promise."

"What about your family here? The interaction with them is helping you come to terms with all this?"

"It definitely helps, but now that we have reconnected, I can contact them when I need their input. I don't need to physically be in the same city."

"Why can't Gil move here for a while? Wouldn't that solve everything?"

"No," laughing at the notion of Grissom leaving that lab, "He built that lab into what it is; it's part of him, I couldn't ask that of him."

"Why do I get the feeling there is something you are not telling me?"

Sara grinned, "Because, you say you that every session!" Sara did her best imitation of her doctor, "Now, Sara, I think there is more you're not telling me…."

Even Adrienne laughed at Sara's imitation, "But, it's true, getting the whole story out of you takes some intense prodding. That is a manifestation of your condition after all. Seriously now, are you really telling me the only reason you want to return is to reunite with Gil."

"Yes," Sara answered, knowing it was only part of the truth.

"Would it change anything if I waived my fees for you until you return to work?"

"Why would you do something like that?"

"I believe that strongly that you should stay in therapy with me."

"Wow," Sara was overwhelmed with her compassion. "I'm really touched by that, but I'm also determined to get back what I had and then some. I need to leave now."

"Ok, well," she shrugged, "you sound determined. You can always change your mind, but in the meantime, I'll set up a referral for you." She pulled a notepad from a drawer with her address book and began writing, "Do you have a moving date arranged?"

The question hit Sara between the eyes. She broached the subject with her doctor before making sure Gil would even take her back in.

When she left Las Vegas ten weeks ago she was totally adrift. She didn't even completely understand the reason why she had to leave; she only knew it was what she had to do. Even so, it didn't stop her from missing Gil the minute her plane took off. She had spent a lot of her life in some sort of pain, but this pain was gut wrenching. It made her whole life even harder for her to comprehend. She could only imagine how hard it was for someone else to understand, namely Grissom.

When she saw what her brother had become, a contented, successful husband and father, she knew then she wanted to do what he had done. He took her to Dr. Daly. Immediately it was obvious that the little bit of counseling the department had offered was woeful compared to the power of the therapy she commanded. It wasn't long before Sara had a name to her pain; something she could Google and learn about. It was clear early on that she left Grissom because the ultimate expression of her Adult Attachment Disorder left her unable to have a successful relationship.

Three weeks after leaving, and after several sessions with the doctor and visits with her family, Sara felt ready to see Gil again. They had a few phone conversations, but mainly consisting of her reassuring him that she would be Ok. She was scared to ask how he felt about a visit from her. What if he rejected her after the way she left? Who could blame him, she thought. She decided to just show up, let herself into the townhouse, and wait for him to come home. She reasoned it would be harder for him to throw her out than it would be to tell her not to come.

She was sitting on the sofa when he entered the house. He hadn't seen her in three weeks. At first he was unable to move or speak upon seeing her there. As she rose to greet him, he dropped his case and keys and grabbed her up. He was like a starving man thrown into a gourmet banquet of boundless food. If she had ever wondered how much he had missed her and wanted her back, his reaction upon seeing her again should have forever squelched that worry. He tried to talk to her, to know how and why she was there with him then, but he couldn't stop touching her, kissing her. Sara was caught up in it as well, and clothes were flying around the room as the couple stumbled trying for their bedroom. They never got there before they were totally spent together. Round two was in the bedroom, and Gil called into work for personal reasons for the first time in over a decade.

The hardest part of the visit was telling Gil she had to leave again. He couldn't believe his ears at first, but she began to explain things, and it all made sense. They worked on a way to remain a couple, but that allowed her to do what was necessary to reunite with him for the balance of their lives. They established a phone call routine to continue communication. They researched vacation spots between San Francisco and Las Vegas where they could periodically rendezvous. He learned everything he could about Adult Attachment disorder.

A month and a half had gone by since that first visit. They talked regularly, but it was mostly chit chat about the day's events. They managed one other visit at a cabin in the middle of nowhere, but managed to talk about nothing more serious than what to make for dinner. Next week they were to meet again at the cabin, but Sara wanted to be home before that. She wanted to go home to him and stay there. I guess I'm not as improved as I thought; I never even had the courage to get his thoughts on it.

She was paralyzed; unable to broach the subject with him out of an irrational fear of rejection. She decided to take the same tactic as before. I'll just move back in while he's working. She pointed to a day on the calendar, circled it, and started packing.

TBC...