Title: Strokes of Everything
Rating: T
Pairing: Justin/Rebecca
Summary: Justin makes a choice, and memories flood through him as he goes through the process of executing that choice.
Note: Spoilers for entire series. Review, Enjoy.
The curtains are open this night. Something or another about the moon perhaps inspiring a photo or two, and the curtains only getting in the way. It makes it a tad more difficult to sleep, but rarely does she insist on leaving them open, so he gives into her strange request on occasion.
The moon strikes her at an odd angle, where she flutters her eyes momentarily and shifts her body. She nudges her head into his chest, signaling for him to re-adjust for her, so he does. Two seconds later, she's still again, just breathing in and out so soundly.
He can't help but smile softly down at her. He combs his fingers through her hair, inhales, and kisses her halo. From her mouth he hears a wistful sigh and he wants to laugh, because he can swear she's awake. But he's too afraid that maybe she isn't, and the last thing he wants to do is awaken her. Therefore, he only snakes his arm around her waist, and molds his body with hers, with his chest to her back.
It's no surprise that when morning comes, they are in the same position. It has been this way for eleven months now, and despite the days when sun rays flood his eyes and so rudely awake him, he realizes he wouldn't mind it being like this the rest of his life.
--
Following their first kiss, they sat on that bench for some ten minutes without speaking. Then he said something or another about where she was currently staying, and she had shrugged. This led to a slight debate about the Walker home being a more comfortable place of residence or more of an awkward, inappropriate place for the thought-to-be, but definitely-not-anymore illegitimate daughter of the late matriarch of the Walkers. And during a slight altercation, Rebecca had been unsuccessful in getting Justin off the phone from his mother, Nora. Nora heard the one line of her not having a secure home, and muted everything else.
Rebecca moved into the Walker household that night.
Deciding lies, fibs, and secrets were too much to deal with, Rebecca and Justin held a family meeting ten minutes before their first official date.
They planned on loud, irrelevant doubts infiltrating the topic for a good twenty minutes, but that same night Saul decided to announce his resignation and things dragged on for two hours. Rebecca and Justin missed their dinner reservation.
However, Justin was much more accustomed and thus prepared for plans to unravel given the family dynamic of the Walkers, and no longer than ten minutes after putting the Saul issue to rest (for the night) Justin surprised Rebecca.
He disappeared for five minutes, then snuck up behind her, put his hand in hers, and whispered in her ear, "Follow me."
He led her to a small area outside, near one of the bigger trees where a large blanket laid. Two candles lit up the small area, and a glorious New York cheesecake was set in the center. As soon as she spotted the cake, she let his hand go, and crawled over the blanket. She spotted a spread out napkin with two forks, and grabbed the nearest one. In an instant she lifted the lid off the cheesecake, dug her fork into the thing, and stuck it into her mouth.
He laughed when she mumbled "mmmm." She laughed along with him and patted the space next to her. He followed suit, and the pair ate two/thirds of that cake, and stretched out on that blanket to stare up at the stars.
"This is perfect," she whispered, as they laid next to one another, their hands gently entwined.
"Yeah, listening to the Walkers fight for two hours straight always makes my night," he scoffed.
She turned her head to him, and said in return," Doesn't it?"
--
"Justin!"
He shakes his head and looks to the left of him.
"What!"
"Pass me the wine, geez," his sister rolls her eyes at him.
He sighes and passes her the wine that she could have easily reached. Then he turns his eyes back to the window over the sink, where he can see his entire family enjoying a picnic.
"You've been with her for over a year--aren't you supposed to be over that, lovey-dovey, 'can't tear my eyes away from you for a second' crap by now," Sarah mumbles as she pours herself a drink.
He smiles to himself as Rebecca plays with Elizabeth, Tommy's daughter who had turned one only some months ago.
"Justin," Sarah repeats with an irritated tone.
"I want to marry her."
Sarah almost chokes on the wine she is sipping on, but dutifully is able to down it after a moment of clearing her mind.
"I'm sorry can you repeat that?"
"I want to--"
"Never mind, don't say it again," she shakes her head and inches over to her youngest sibling.
"Justin, you've only been going out with her for what? Like 13 months? And marriage? That's forever," but then she chuckles.
"Well, it's supposed to be," she jabs him.
"Sarah, I know what I want."
"Yes, but marriage is a serious commitment, and it takes more than love--"
"Sarah," he stops her with a dead serious stare," I know what I want. And it feels right."
--
"God, I thought she'd never leave," Justin muttered into Rebecca's mouth.
"No talking," she said in a breathy whisper.
They had been going out for a few weeks, and although waiting was an admirable pursuit, neither Justin nor Rebecca had the patience to wait. The kisses quickly weren't enough, and their pull was too strong. They were always together, but unfortunately were barely ever alone together.
For the past week they had been making plans to finally consumate their damn relationship--to no avail. Something would always interrupt them, namely the Walkers. Calling for baby-sitters, calling to gossip, to rant. Always going into the house without warning, to discuss business or troubled kids, and troubled lives in general, and it felt like the Walkers had united against them to not have sex.
But not tonight. They had practically kicked Kitty out, and had run to Justin's room, where they put up an obviously homemade but dubious sign that read 'Do not Disturb' and locked the door.
Rebecca quickly undid Justin's shirt, while complaining about him wearing a button-up today of all days, while Justin worked on her jeans. Clothes were being shed, when Rebecca heard Justin mumble something against her neck.
"What was that?" she stopped her actions.
"What--" he continued trailing kisses down her neck.
"Justin," she pushed him as softly as she could, to get him to meet her eyes.
"What did you say?"
"Ummm..." he scratched his head, bit his lip, and cocked an eyebrow.
"Justin!"
"Fine! I said I love you, is there something wrong with that? Because I do--love you, that is."
He gave her a sheepish grin while she stared at him doe-eyed, not quite sure what to do or say. Then his phone rang, which he offered to ignore, so they could continue.
"No, it might be important," she dug beneath his discarded shirt and jeans to get the phone.
"It's your mom," she tossed it to him and waited for him to answer.
"Hey mom…" he answered. As soon as he did, Rebecca scrambled for her discarded particles of clothing, put on the neccary articles to look decent and headed to the door.
He looked at her with pleading eyes but she only smiled tightly, waved, and left the room.
"No, mom, I'm not busy."
--
"You okay, Justin?"
He appears to be completely unaware of his surroundings, so she takes a stand next to him at the vanity mirror.
"Yeah," he nods, then turns to her.
She turns with him and raises her eyebrows.
"You sure?"
"Of course," he nods.
"Okay," she shrugs and heads to the bed. She crawls under the covers and turns the lamp off from her side of the bed.
He walks to their bed slowly and watches as she snuggles into the mattress and closes her eyes.
"You shut the curtains? I have to wake up early tomorrow."
"Yeah, yeah, I did."
She opens her eyes and locks gazes with him.
"What?"
"Nothing, I…" he sighs but smiles. He crawls over the bed and lays on his side, with his hand propped up to hold his head.
"Hey, Rebecca?"
"Uh, huh?"
"I love you," he says softly.
"Okay, now you're really scaring me," she laughs and sits up.
"Something we have to talk about?"
He looks down at his hands for a moment then brings his eyes back up to her curious ones.
"I just…" he shrugs nonchalantly," like reminding you."
She smiles softly and squeezes his hand.
"You don't have to say it Justin. I already know."
She presses her lips against his in a chaste kiss and pulls away.
"And I'm not going anywhere, if that's what you're afraid of."
He smiles at that, and can't help but kiss her right there--ardently, with all the passion he can't express, and perhaps will never be able to convey, but that both know exists.
"Well, I love you too!" she laughs in between their kiss, as they fall onto the bed together.
--
"I love you. No, I love you--no. I. Love. You."
She paced her room, back and forth, mentally cursing at herself. He had told her two weeks ago, but every time she tried saying it, the words choked on themselves. That, and because he had said he was okay with her not saying or feeling it yet, she felt worse for it. However, although she had freaked out initially, enough so to sram off, she accepted it and finally they were able to have, hot, passionate, amazing--
She shook her head, reminding herself to focus on the task at hand. She had finally been able to take in all of her emotions and realize the extent of her feelings. She knew she felt it just as strongly as he did, but found herself incapable of voicing it.
Turning to one of her stuffed teddy bears, she yelled in the most frustrated voice," Dammit, I love you!"
"Whoa, go easy on the bear. He only broke up with that stuffed bunny two days ago."
Her head snapped up at his voice and her eyes went wide.
"Ju-Justin," she stuttered.
"Rebecca…" and he laughed.
"Are you alright? Want me to leave you alone with the bear?" he said in a mocking tone.
"No! Yes--wait," she put her hand up and flinched.
"I love you," she said with an extended hand and squinted eyes. And when he didn't flinch or roll his eyes or (God forbid) run away, she repeated with a more confident voice, and calmer hands--"I love you. Justin, I love you."
He grinned from ear to ear, and slammed the door. He strode to her, and put his hands on either side of her face," I love you, too, Rebecca."
--
"That's the ring."
"Shut up, Kevin."
Justin slams the velvet box close and sits back on the couch.
"I just said 'that's the ring.'"
"Yeah, but you said it in that condescending tone."
He crosses his arms over his chest and exhales dramatically.
"Okay, I only said that because--well, because it's not THE ring."
"How would you know!"
"Oh God, you are an idiot," Kevin mumbles then stands up. "Sarah!" he bellows to the kitchen.
She comes out, and mumbleds' what' while chewing on some snack.
"Look at this," Kevin snatches the box from Justin and shows Sarah the ring.
'The ring' he mouths to her, at which she scrunches up her face and throws Justin a disgusted look.
"What?!" he exclaims.
"What? What? Are you--" she sighs and plops down next to him.
"Have you not told mom?"
"Wha--no! I didn't even tell Kevin! You went off and blurted it to him!"
"Well, you're going to have to tell mom if you're gonna give Rebecca her engagement ring."
Realizing why Kevin and Sarah have been making a big fuss, he rolls his eyes and takes his ring back.
"I can't take that ring, it's--"
"Not that engagement ring," Sarah scoffs, "moron."
"She means the one our mom's mom gave her--you know, the one she put away when dad made a big fuss about her wearing his mom's ring after they got engaged? Come on, Justin, they were having this fight up until you were seven years old, when mom lost a bet to dad."
"Yes, now that ring is gorgeous. Call grandma what you want, but when it came to jewelry pieces, she had the best taste. I would kill for her engagement ring. But first, I'll kill you for not asking mom for it."
"Ask me for what?" Nora walks into the living room that instant.
Justin and Sarah look back and forth at one another, but Kevin shrugs and answers her--"For your mom's engagement ring."
Nora furrows her brows and looked between her three children, one of whom is already married. She looks at Justin and Sarah, when she spots the velvet box in Justin's hand.
"Oh my," she whispers and brings her hands to her mouth. Then she laughs and goes to envelop Justin in a hug.
"You're going to propose!" she yells in an ecstatic voice.
"Mom," Justin whines, stiff in the hug.
She clasps his shoulders and smiles. "You and Rebecca are getting married."
"I kind of have to propose first," he rolls his eyes.
"Then yes," Nora nodded, "Yes, you are getting that ring!"
She grabs the ring already in his hand and looks at the thing," And you are going to return this thing. Not that it's not nice, but you sir, are going to do things right!"
Giving up, he mumbles "fine" although now the thought of giving Rebecca his mother's ring sounds just.
"Oh, I'm so excited!" Nora exclaims again, and wraps her son up in another hug. He returns the hug more enthusiastically this time, and in a more elevated tone says," Yeah, so excited."
--
"Your mom's already planning our wedding."
She plopped down on the couch beside him in the Walker living room.
"We've been dating for four months," Justin commented.
"Hasn't stopped her," she rested her head on his shoulder.
They sat staring at the TV for a moment, him with his arm wrapped around her shoulder, and her with her hand tracing invisible circles on his stomach.
"Well," he said after a moment of silence," would it be so bad?"
She stopped moving her hand and drew her head up.
"Marriage or marriage after four months of dating?"
"The first one," he chuckled.
"Oh," she laughed in relief and let her head fall on his chest.
"Maybe. Maybe not. It depends."
"On?"
"On…? It depends on if I find a good guy or not. We'd have to like the same stuff, we should be together for awhile, you know, that stuff. And we'd definitely have to be in love, but the most important thing is…" she paused and tilted her head up at him.
"That all the Walkers would have to approve of him, especially Nora."
"And..."
She rolled her eyes but complied, "And you."
He grinned down at her and brushed his lips against hers.
"God, you're so awesome."
She placed one hand behind his neck, and her other on his chest. In a low voice with a raised eyebrow she said,"Just trying to fulfill a Walker requirement."
He smirked and waited until she brought her lips to meet hers, and he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist when their lips crashed. She pushed him forward when he attempted to push her back on the couch, and soon he found himself straddled by her.
He bit her lip with the tiniest hint of tenderness, and she responded by sneaking a hand underneath his t-shirt, and digging her nails into his small back. He felt her grin on his mouth when he flinched but simultaneously thrust his hips into her.
"Becca..."
--
"Rebecca…" he kneels in front of her, and opens the antique box.
He knew that whatever grand, romantic, gesture he planned would fall through. So he carried the ring with him at all times for three weeks after having the ring, hoping that sooner rather than later the right moment would present itself.
It comes during the fall, as they ride from Cooper's birthday party back to their home. Justin had been driving when Rebecca insisted they stop.
She had spotted a small bird along the road who appeared stuck. She grabbed her camera before heading towards the small creature, as he stood back in amusement. She snapped a couple of quick snapshots, then put her camera around her neck to reach out to the bird. She neared it slowly, until she coaxed it into her hand.
When the bird sat in her palm, she laughed and called him over.
"God, it's so adorable," she said in a whisper," poor thing."
She fingered the bird's wing, but couldn't find how to help him.
"Here, stand still," Justin ordered her. He inspected the bird's injured wing, and as softly as he could, straightened out his wing. The bird flinched in her hand, and began fidgeting.
"Let it go," he told her.
"But--" she protested.
"It just needs to get itself together, but you keep it on your hand too long…"
"Fine…" she knelt down and set the bird on the floor. She stood back up slowly, and kept her camera ready for when it would fly.
Moments later, the bird flapped its wings and then flew. She took as many captures as she could, smiling in awe, and when she turned back around to Justin, she found him kneeling.
"Rebecca…" he begins.
Her mouth falls agape and she covers her mouth in surprise.
"Rebecca, I--"
"Oh God, Justin," she brings her hands to her chest, as her eyes fall into a strange softness.
He lifts his hand up in a gesture for her to let him finish.
She nods once and he continues.
"I know it's only been a year since we started dating--15 months to be exact--but I love you. You're not just my girlfriend, you're my best friend. And I know it's not easy, I know we've had our fights, and so long as we're not robots or living in a Drew Barrymore movie, we'll keep having them. But we'll get through them, just like we did when I was falling into addiction again," he takes a breath and chuckles nervously before continuing.
"I could have hit rock bottom again when I began drinking, but you--you stuck through, you encouraged me to fight. And I was so afraid to disappoint you…but I fought. We both fought. And I'm glad you were there to fight with me, because that's the kind of person I want to always be by my side--that's who you are. Rebecca--will you marry me?"
He sees her swallow what must be a lump in her throat, as she glances from the ring to him.
Everything remains quiet for what feels to be a very long moment, as if time is taking a breather, until her mouth parts ever so slightly.
"Okay," she whispers so quietly he fears he's heard her wrong. But she smiles and kneels down in front of him.
"Yes," she nods and holds out her hand. He breathes in relief and puts the ring on her finger. They both laugh after the ring makes itself at home, and they kiss briefly before hugging.
"See," he brushes a kiss against her cheek," no matter what, you're stuck as a Walker."
She smiles, closes her eyes, and kisses his shoulder blade: "Yeah, guess I am."