A/N: ::trumpets blow and a heavenly light shines down:: IT'S FINALLY FINISHED! Honestly, I never thought this chapter would reach completion. To all of those who still have this story on your alert list, thank you so much for hanging around this long and I'm so sorry you've had to wait! A very special thanks go out to Tarma Hartley and Spoodle for being so incredibly awesome, both as authors as people. Remember: reviews are always welcome and appreciated, along with constructive criticism. Well I'm going to stop rambling; on with the chapter!
PS: This Chapter has recently been updated and improved, thanks to the ever-wonderful Tarma Hartley!
The interior of Edgeworth's home was as beautiful inside as it was out and for the second time since he had laid eyes on it, Phoenix was rendered speechless. The entryway was polished marble and the walls paneled with rich cherrywood, gleaming in the soft sunlight that streamed through the open window.
"Please make yourself comfortable Wright; I'll be out momentarily," Edgeworth said before disappearing into the kitchen. Somewhat nervously, Phoenix made his way into the living room, sitting down in a plush armchair and looking around him. The inside of the house was slightly more modern, at least when it came to the furniture and the wallpaper. The last rays of the sun streamed through the windows, hitting the bookshelves on the far side of the wall, and a mahogany grandfather clock ticked steadily in a corner.
For all its splendor, the room reminded one of a comforting memory, a safe harbor where the weary could find rest although Phoenix was anything but comfortable. He sat straight up in the chair, nervous as a cat.
Phoenix ran his hands through his hair nervously, his mouth turned down at the corners. This is just great Wright. You got yourself in here; now what the hell are you going to do?! You don't even know the full reason you're here to begin with, and you're going to just bombard Edgeworth with questions in his very own home! You've hit yet another level of idiotic Wright!
Phoenix's voice sounded furious in his mind and at the moment it fit how he was feeling perfectly. After all, he really had no solid idea of what had brought him all the way here in the first place, and he had said as much. Edgeworth would probably come in, chew him out, and then kick him out. So much for his grand plan...
While Phoenix was both giving and receiving the mental beating of a lifetime, Edgeworth came back in, balancing a tray on one hand.
"You have the most incredible timing Wright," he commented with a sly smile. "I was actually in the middle of studying the case when you knocked." Setting down the tray, the prosecutor took a seat across from Phoenix, passing a cup to him. "I wasn't certain if you liked tea, so I fixed you a cup of coffee instead."
The defense attorney stared blankly at the cup in Edgeworth's hand for a moment before something in him snapped to life and he took with a murmured, "Thank you." He began to add cream and sugar, then looked up at Edgeworth with a impish grin on his face.
"So, do you have a life outside of your work, or have you just emerged from your office because you have company?"
To Phoenix's surprise, Edgeworth smiled slightly as he poured himself a cup of tea and sat down in an easy chair directly across from him.
"For your information Wright, I do have a life outside of my work although I wouldn't classify it as a social one. However," he continued after raising the teacup to his lips and taking a long sip. "I don't think that my life outside work, or lack thereof, is what brought you to my home this evening... at least according to what you said outside."
Phoenix shook his head, his hand scratching the back of his neck nervously. Letting out a soft sigh, Edgeworth sat his cup aside, his dark grey eyes looking much older than the man they belonged to.
"First of all Wright, I don't hate you," he began, choosing his words carefully, his brow knitted thoughtfully. "Perhaps my words were somewhat harsher than I intended them to be; I was overworked and exhausted, as I often am after a trial."
He sighed loudly, rubbing his eyes absentmindedly. "I will admit that I was angry with you for what you said to me in court, but I am not petty enough to carry a grudge." He gave Phoenix a level look. "However, what I said still stands; I think it would be best if the two of us have no relationship out of the courtroom."
Having at first been enormously relieved that Edgeworth didn't hate him, Phoenix now felt a curious mixture of indignation and anger. Feeling all nervousness disappear, he fixed Edgeworth with an intense stare.
"You know something Edgeworth; I don't get you, I really don't. We were so close when we were kids. Some of the best times I ever had were spent with you." A gentle smile appeared on Phoenix's face but it quickly faded.
"When you left I was lost; it was as if you had taken a part of me with you. I was sure you felt the same way so, as soon as I could, I found out what had happened to you, and did everything I could to get in touch with you." Phoenix smiled ruefully. "I even called your office, but your secretary would always say that you were too busy to be disturbed. Eventually, I convinced myself you were simply too caught up in your work to find time to write, and that once we saw each other again things would go back to the way they were before."
"And then the rumors started, things I just couldn't bring myself to believe. It was as if you'd just decided that people couldn't be trusted so you shut yourself away. That isn't the Edgeworth that I knew." Phoenix leaned in, his eyes never once leaving Edgeworth's, his tone quiet and gentle. "What happened to you? When did you become so cold?"
For the third time that day, a strange look passed over Edgeworth's face but, instead of moving on it remained there, giving him a tense, hard look. For a moment Phoenix thought the man was going to take a swing at him.
Maybe I went too far...
Suddenly, without warning, Edgeworth stood up and walked out, closing the door quickly behind him. Phoenix heard his footsteps growing fainter as he walked down ther hall, then disappearing altogether as he heard the opening and slamming of a door somewhere in the distance. Feeling more uncomfortable than he had in a very long time, Phoenix simply sat there, fiddling with his badge, his mind racing, trying to figure out what he should do and pondering regretfully over what he had just done.
Okay, let's review the facts. Fact one: I just called a man heartless in his own home. Well, I didn't actually use the word "heartless," but the effect was still the same, so how I worded it is irrelevant.
Phoenix sighed, rubbing his eyes unhappily, castigating himself for being a fool. The point is, I completely crossed the line and probably destroyed any chance I have of regaining his trust or friendship.
Phoenix squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his hands into fists, swallowing hard. God, how could I have been so stupid?! I mean, I haven't seen the man in years and I just go and run my mouth like that! What right do I even have?! No matter how much I'd like to say otherwise, I don't know Edgeworth anymore, so I have no right to pass judgment on him! But what should I do now? I guess I should leave, but what if he comes back out looking for me? It definitely wouldn't help matters any if I just up and left. I should apologize at the very least, not that it will do any good."
Having made up his mind on the issue, Phoenix quickly stood up and hurried down the twisting hallway, hoping that he wouldn't get lost in the maze of dark corridors that stretched out before him. A few moments-and a few wrong turns-later, he found the room Edgeworth had disappeared into. Taking a deep breath, Phoenix gently rapped on the closed door.
"Edgeworth," he said softly, leaning his cheek against the wooden door, hoping against hope that Miles would give him a chance to explain. May I come in for just a moment?"
Silence met his request, though the defense attorney could hear the slightly muffled sounds of movement coming from within the room. He tried again. "Edgeworth, I understand if you don't want to see me after what I said but at least let me come in to apologize. Then I'll leave, I promise."
Still no answer. The only sounds that greeted Phoenix were the soft creaks of the house settling and the quiet movement of Edgeworth in the room beyond. Was what Phoenix said so terrible that Edgeworth wouldn't even allow him to apologize for it?
Tempting as it was to simply turn around and leave, Phoenix knew he couldn't do so in good conscience. Swallowing any apprehension and trying to quell the butterflies fluttering madly in his stomach he opened the door slightly and quickly slipped inside.
He found himself in a small study. It was somehow cozy despite the air of importance it exuded. There was a small fireplace crackling on one side of the study with two armchairs in front of it, the walls were lined with books on all sides while at the back of the room was a maple desk, covered in neat stacks of paper. Phoenix looked over the room, his eyes falling on the silent, rigid form of Edgeworth, standing near the window, looking out over the street.
"Edgeworth?" Quietly shutting the door behind him, Phoenix walked further into the study. When the man didn't even turn his head to acknowledge his presence, Phoenix let out a sigh and took a seat in one of the armchairs.
"Edgeworth, I'll leave soon, I promise, but I wish you would say something to give me some sort of closure here." He leaned forward, his heart beginning to beat faster. "Look, I know I overstepped my bounds. I had no right to say what I did. After all, I have no idea of who you really are anymore. Like you said earlier today, we knew each other God only knows how many years ago, and people do change."
Phoenix stared into the gentle glow of the firelight, the orange flames reflected in his deep blue eyes. "I guess I'm just a little upset that whatever we once shared is gone now, that's all. Honestly, there was a small part of me that believed we could just pick up and start over, but now I know that's not going to happen. It hurts, I'll admit but, even so, that doesn't excuse my behavior, and I'll be the first to say as much. So, you can speak your peace and I'll be on my way."
Turning his gaze away from the fireplace, Phoenix now shifted his gaze back to Edgeworth. The prosecutor hadn't moved from where he was standing, so Phoenix couldn't see the slight twitch in the man's cheek due to his tightly clenched jaw. He did notice, however, that Edgeworth's back was rigid. In fact, his whole body had tensed and the attorney suddenly felt extremely uneasy.
Rising from his chair, he began to head towards the door, something in him warning him that he didn't want to hear what Edgeworth had to say. His hand had just come to rest on the door handle when Edgeworth spoke, his voice barely above a strangled whisper, his tone one of pure, undistilled scorn.
"It's funny, but even after out first trial, and even after you defeated me, I knew you had no business being a lawyer and you have just proven me right. You made it obvious right from the start that you had a penchant for being ridiculously trusting but now you've added being ludicrously naive to your ever growing list of inadaquecies!" Edgeworth clenched his hands into fists, his angry voice rising. "How could you even begin to believe, even for a moment, that we could have just started from where we left off and that nothing would have changed? Perhaps you haven't matured from the bumbling, foolish child that you once were, but I have, and I have not the time nor the patience to wait for you to catch up."
Phoenix's breath caught in his throat. He stared at Edgeworth with a gaze overflowing with hurt and betrayal, feeling too numb to speak, although a thousand thoughts came rushing into his mind. Part of him wanted to scream, to say something so biting and cold that Edgeworth would feel as Phoenix was feeling now. But out of all the thoughts that were clamoring inside him, only one question escaped his lips, every inch of it laden with sorrow.
"Who hurt you?"
"I beg your pardon?" Edgworth turned around, no doubt to issue another verbal assault but, when, his eyes met Phoenix's and the words died on his lips. A subtle change passed over him; his body relaxed and regret suddenly penetrated his grey eyes, breaking through the icy glare.
A heavy silence settled over the two men, so palpable as to be almost suffocating although only Edgeworth seemed to be feeling it. He opened his mouth as if to say something but snapped it shut quickly, looking very uncomfortable. It looked like he was silently deliberating with himself.
After a few moments, Edgeworth finally broke the silence. "Why would you ask such a question?"
"Because no matter what you say Edgeworth, I know who you are, or at least who you once were. How you're acting tonight, and how you've been acting for some time now, is all wrong; I think you know it as well as I do." He looked at Miles levelly, trying to control his racing heart. "You were once determined to see the good in people, even when everyone else had given up on them. I know that wouldn't just change overnight, with no logical explanation. That ideal meant so much to you that the very thought that you could ever waver from it seemed impossible. And yet, not only did you stray from it, you became everything that you had once detested so deeply."
Phoenix took a deep breath. "In order for any of that to have happened, someone must have done something, something that took away the faith you held onto for so long. So who was it Edgeworth, and why?"
Calmly, Phoenix walked over to stand in front of Edgeworth. The prosecutor automatically began to step back, but Phoenix placed his hands on the man's shoulders, holding him in a firm but gentle grip.
"Stop running Edgeworth and answer the question," he said quietly, his tone filled wth sadness. "I want to help you, but there's nothing I can do if you don't open up to me. So please....tell me what happened to you."
That was it; there was nothing more Phoenix could say. If Edgeworth refused to speak up now, it would be over, and everything that Phoenix had held onto year after year would be rendered insignificant. The idea of that conclusion made fear grip Phoenix, his resolve faltering for just a moment.
Exhaustion suddenly hit him like a wave, and all he wanted in that moment was to give up. What was he doing there anyway? If he walked out the door and never looked back, would it really matter? Why did he care so much, when caring had only ever brought him hurt and frustration?
Suddenly, as if through a fog, Phoenix's mind wandered back to the bus ride earlier. He had posed a similar question to himself and had not had the time to ponder out an answer at that point. He had never really thought about it before today, but now it was as if he couldn't stop thinking about it. Why was he here, and why had he held onto the memory of a person he had only known a year?
"Why?" The word hit Phoenix's ears like an alarm bell, and he realized that Edgeworth had spoken the word aloud. He also realized that the prosecutor's face had undergone a transformation of sorts; a combination of fear and vulnerability engraved on his face, shining out from his eyes as one emotion battled for domination over the other.
The dread that Phoenix was feeling slowly began to fade, and he slowly stepped back, letting go of Edgeworth's shoulders. "Why what, Edgeworth?" he asked quietly, his tone soft and gentle, as if he were a parent trying to soothe a frightened child.
"Why are you doing all this... why won't you just let me be?!" The smallest hint of frustration had crept into the prosecutor's voice, along with a strange sort of desperation. "I've done nothing but hurt you, belittle you, and ignore you!
"Do you want to know what I did with your letters? I threw them away; each and every one of them. I thought I made it perfectly plain that I wanted to be left alone but you wouldn't quit! Even now, even after what I've said to you tonight, you're still sitting here, asking about something that is absolutely none of your concern and never has been! So why don't you answer me this; why, after all this time, do you still care about me?"
The question had barely left Edgeworth's lips before the answer hit Phoenix like a ton of bricks. Had the realization come before this, it might have scared him, but now he simply didn't care one way or another.
Before he could think of a good reason to keep his mouth shut which, all things considered, would have been all to easy, he leaned in and captured Edgeworth's lips in a warm kiss. Everything fell into place in that moment for Phoenix. He knew Edgeworth would probably never forgive him for what he was doing, and it broke his heart to think of them being at odds forever.
Despite that, there was still a bright smile on his face as he broke the kiss. Edgeworth's eyes were wide, his lips trembling with some unknown emotion, though Phoenix had a feeling it was shock. He was thankful he had taken the prosecutor off gaurd since, not only had it ensured that the kiss, awkward though it had proven to be, was on his terms but it also gave him the opportunity to say what he needed to say, and what had needed to be said for a long time.
"I love you Edgeworth," Phoenix said quietly. There was no declaration in the way he said it; it just seemed to be an inevitable fact and one that would be impossible for him to deny or refute. "I suppose I have always loved you, though it just hit me now. I know you'll probably never return these sentiments, and to be honest, I wouldn't expect you to. But no matter how much you may rage against it, or despise me for it, I will always love you.
Phoenix smiled sadly. "And the fact that I can still love you, even after all you've done, proves that the person I fell in love with is still in there somewhere, and that's enough for me. I'll always have faith in you Miles, no matter what."
The sound of his first name seemed to shake Edgeworth out of his daze, at least long enough to find his voice. Even so, he opened his mouth and snapped shut once or twice before he seemed to find the words he was looking for.
"Get out of my house," he finally whispered, his voice tight and strained with unhappiness. " Get out... this conversation is at an end!"
An air of disappointment settled over Phoenix like a shroud. He had expected the reaction but it still hurt him and cut him to his core. Regardless of this, the sweet, seraphic smile remained on his face as he nodded once, then turned and left quietly, leaving the prosecutor to the sound of his empty house and the clashing of his thoughts.