Author's Note: This is an idea I've been considering for a while, as some Antiphony readers know. Antiphony is such a dark and often depressing fic, I just had to lighten the mood somehow. So, may I present Antiphony: Outtakes! Thanks to Geniusgirl and inekjas (ff username: demonegg; she's got an awesome new Aladdin fic up! Go read!!) for their help!

This first chapter is dedicated to Katie Ann. Aladdin loves you!

A Cast Vacation

(Scene: middle of Chapter 21 of Antiphony. The Citadel. The camera is focused on a window as Aladdin exits on Carpet.)

Cantare: CUT. Let's try that again. Aladdin, you're not positioned correctly on the carpet; the viewer can't see enough of your face.

Aladdin: All right.

(Redo. Carpet flies out of the window, Aladdin slumps down on the carpet. Genie begins to speak.)

Cantare: CUT. Hm. Okay, the viewer can see your face now…but it's not expressive enough. You're wrapped in despair. The love of your life is nowhere to be found. You just released your strongest suspect from suspicion.

Aladdin: …All right…

(Redo. Carpet flies out of the window, Aladdin slumps down on the carpet. Genie begins to speak.)

Genie: Don't worry, Al. We'll find her, no doubt about it. Or, knowing Jas, she'll fight her way back to Agrabah without our help!

Aladdin: I couldn't save the sultan this time, Genie—

Cantare: CUT. You got the facial expressions right. But your voice—not enough. You're tired, worn down, and lost. You're doubting yourself. You're—

Aladdin: I get it, I get it.

Cantare: You're doing good. Let's try again.

Cameraman: Hold up. Gotta change the reel.

(Aladdin looks annoyed.)

Cameraman: All right. Chapter 21 Pathetic Scene Take 15.

Aladdin: Very funny. Look, Cantare, I'm not getting paid enough for this. (Steps off the carpet) Can I just tell you honestly what I think about this script? It's garbage.

Genie: Now Al honey, I think you're just a little stressed—

Aladdin: Shut up. I mean it. This is fucking garbage. Why does my character get bashed in every single scene? I mean, look at the directions in the script. Every other line is telling me to look either pathetic or clueless. This isn't what I went into acting for.

Cantare: Okay, okay. I understand. I'm sorry, Aladdin, but you knew enough of the synopsis when you came to tryouts, and you did sign the contract. Maybe you're just a little stressed today—

Aladdin: I'm not stressed. I'm just telling you what's on my mind. And I strongly suggest you do something about it, because this script is transparent as hell. Yeah, you fuck with the audience's minds enough, but some elements like my character are just unnaturally shallow.

(Genie places his hands on Aladdin's shoulders and tries to massage him. Aladdin shakes him off irritably.)

Aladdin: Would you stop touching me already? God!

Genie: (Looks hurt) Sorry…

Cantare: Okay everyone, let's take a break. Someone make me some coffee. Aladdin, let's talk in my office.

(15 minutes later, in a messy office strewn with empty Chinese takeout boxes, discarded sheets of college ruled paper, some Tsingdao beer cans, and an outdated to-do list plastered on the wall)

Cantare: Please, sit down.

Aladdin: Thanks. (sits) Listen, I'm sorry I blew up a few minutes ago…

Cantare: Oh no, it's fine. I understand. Care for some coffee?

Aladdin: No thanks.

Cantare: Okay. So let's talk through this. Can you sum up how you feel about all this? Anything you've wanted to say but haven't said since we started filming?

Aladdin: Well. There's kind of a lot…

Cantare: (checks her watch) We've got time.

Aladdin: If you say so…

(15 minutes later)

Aladdin: …honestly, my character's hovel is bigger than my trailer. And that monkey… (clenches hands into fists) I know we're supposed to be all buddy-buddy in the story, but it keeps stealing shit from me. My watch, my shades, my phone…

(30 minutes later)

Aladdin: …I've got an image to keep up, you know? I've got fans. Frankly, I'm a lot more established than Mozenrath; I mean, I've got nothing against the guy, but don't you think it's a little unfair that a rookie actor gets the spotlight for almost the entire story while the veteran who draws the majority of fans (and revenue) to the story in the first place—

(Cantare chokes a little on her coffee)

Aladdin: —gets fewer than 10 scenes in total? Not to mention I get almost no action, while Mozenrath has several bedroom scenes coming up. I think he might not be too well prepared for them, to be honest…

(1 hour later)

Aladdin: …and this is actually cutting into my relationship with Jasmine. In real life. (laughs bitterly) Seriously, when your girl starts calling someone else's name during sex—

Cantare: Okay. (hand shakes on her 3rd cup of coffee as she sets it down on her desk) Thanks for telling me what's been bothering you. I've got an idea. Everyone's been stressed lately; production has been a little rushed, maybe too demanding on all of you. I want to let you know how much I appreciate all your earnest effort in such a hard role. What do you think about a cast vacation to the Bahamas? All expenses paid.

Aladdin: Oh. Well… (considers) That is quite hard to turn down. (laughs, runs his hand through his immaculately styled wavy hair) I think that'd be great. But are you sure—

Cantare: Don't worry about it. You deserve it, Aladdin. Along with everyone else. Don't want any of you guys going on strike, anyway. (laughs, only half-joking) I'll let everyone else know by tonight. Start packing some beach clothes, man. Oh. I think that's all you wear, isn't it?

Aladdin: (slightly offended) There's a difference between—

Cantare: I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Come on, let's go tell the others.

(Scene: a beautiful beach on a beautiful day in the Bahamas. It's crowded. Aladdin is wearing swimming trunks and no shirt. Jasmine is wearing a red two-piece.)

Aladdin: (stretches on his back on a towel, reaches lazily for his martini) I needed this.

Jasmine: (lays her own towel down and sits beside him, takes a fashion magazine from her beach bag) I think we all did.

Aladdin: (sips his martini) Aw, put that away. You didn't come all the way here to read.

Jasmine: (flips open to a random page) I never have time to read otherwise.

Aladdin: (rolls his eyes) Right, because you're the main character and you have too many lines to memorize.

Jasmine: Do I hear bitterness?

Aladdin: (laughs) Nah; this vacation hit the spot.

Jasmine: Good. (still reading, reaches over absently and strokes his tanned shoulder) Glad you're finally in a good mood.

Aladdin: Come on, you have to understand why I—

Jasmine: I understand completely. I feel bad for you. I really do.

Aladdin: Glad someone sympathizes with me.

(They relax for a few minutes in silence. Aladdin finishes half the martini. Jasmine flips a few pages. The noise of the crowded beach blends with the sound of the surf. Aladdin closes his eyes and starts to doze off. A brown-haired girl in a skimpy tropical green bikini saunters near and notices them.)

Sadira: Jasmine?

Jasmine: (looks up from her magazine, smiles) Oh, hey Sadira! What a surprise to see you!

Sadira: Tell me about it; what brings you two here? (her gaze passes over Aladdin in slight intrigue)

(Aladdin wakes up slowly.)

Aladdin: (sees Sadira, freezes, eyes rivet on choice parts of her body; stuttering) Ah, uh…hi.

Sadira: Hi Aladdin.

Jasmine: (rolls her eyes) We're here on vacation from our latest production. It's called "Antiphony." The director decided to give us a break for a few days.

Sadira: Wow. In the middle of a shoot? Your director sounds pretty cool.

Aladdin: (breaks out of his trance, embarrassed at the trickle of drool at the corner of his mouth) Um. Not so sure about that…

Sadira: (interrupts, twirling her hair with one hand) Well, I'm here on my own little vacation, so to speak. I left my job in marketing. It was getting boring. So, I guess I'm just looking to kick back, reenergize, get a fresh view on life, you know.

Jasmine: Sounds good. You were working too hard, last time we talked.

Sadira: My boss was a bitch, plain and simple. Well, anyway. You guys up for a swim or what?

Jasmine: Not now, I just want to—

Aladdin: I'm game. (stands from his towel, stretches his arms over his head slowly in an exaggerated show of toned muscle) Jas, come on.

Jasmine: Maybe later. (exchanges a knowing smile with Sadira) You guys have fun.

Aladdin: You're missing out. (bends down and kisses her on the cheek) See you later, babe.

Sadira: There'll be a special theme night at Club Coral; catch you there later?

Jasmine: Sure, later.

(Sadira and Aladdin walk off; Aladdin keeps glancing at her every few seconds.)

Jasmine: Wonder if those strings'll snap in the water… (gets back to reading)

(Scene: Plush hallway of the 20th floor of a five star hotel overlooking the beach. Cantare knocks on the door of room 2015.)

Muffled voice inside: Yes?

Cantare: It's Cantare.

Voice: Hold on a sec.

(The door opens, revealing Mozenrath in a loose gray t-shirt, shorts, and hotel room sandals. His curly hair is damp. He's wearing thin, silver framed reading glasses and holding a binder in one hand.)

Mozenrath: Hi. What's up?

Cantare: (shakes head, eyes the binder) I thought so. You don't know how to relax, do you?

Mozenrath: I am relaxing. The sauna in this hotel is great.

Cantare: Um, we're in the Bahamas? What about the beach, the ocean, the hang gliding, the bungee jumping? What are you still doing in here?

Mozenrath: Just making sure I've got the next chapter down right. It's the most complicated one yet.

Cantare: Duh. I know. But this is a vacation. I'm shelling out big money for you right now. You're supposed to go outside and have FUN. Release stress. Stroll the beach. Meet some local chicks.

Mozenrath: Not interested.

(Cantare steps inside the room, making Mozenrath back up. Walks around inside and opens the closets and drawers to find neatly folded clothes arranged perfectly inside. Toiletries are similarly arranged in a particular order in the bathroom. One used towel still hangs on the rack; Cantare notes he is environmentally conscious.)

Cantare: (sighs) You annoy me more than Aladdin sometimes, you know that?

Mozenrath: (shrugs) I'm one of the main characters; I can't afford to slack off. Especially not when you've written my part to be so difficult.

Cantare: And you're excellent at it. It's very challenging, I'll admit, but you're a natural. You'll be a star when this feature finally makes it to the big screen.

Mozenrath: Thanks. Though I'm not really sure I want the life that comes with it…

Cantare: It's all personal choice, Moze. You wanna stay cooped up memorizing scripts in hotel rooms instead of out there signing autographs and posing for photo shoots…your call.

Mozenrath: Yeah. No thanks.

Cantare: Come downstairs and have a drink with me. Let's talk about your future. (takes the binder from his hand and sets it on the coffee table) No more work for the next few days. Learn to relax. Oh, and you're coming with me later to Club Coral…

(Scene: Aladdin and Jasmine's hotel room, a master suite. Jasmine is on the balcony outside, enjoying the breathtaking view of the ocean as the sun is starting to sink low. She is wearing a pink and orange sarong with a white shawl; the breeze slightly chills her skin.)

Jasmine: What is it with me and balconies…

(Door unlocks and Aladdin walks in, kicks off his sand-crusted sandals and removes the towel wrapped around his waist. His skin is noticeably tanner, somewhat burned in places. His wavy hair is a bit frazzled. He looks up and sees Jasmine outside on the balcony, winces as he starts walking over to her. He has a slight limp in his gait.)

Jasmine: (turning around) Have fun?

Aladdin: Yeah…until I got stung by a jellyfish. (points to the welts on his calf)

Jasmine: Oh, that's terrible. Let's go see a medic—

Aladdin: It's fine, happens all the time around here. It's nothing serious, should go away in an hour or so.

Jasmine: Are you sure? The last time you—

Aladdin: This is a jellyfish sting, not a monkey bite. (frowns at the memory) At least the monkey they picked this time is docile, even if it's a thieving little demon.

Jasmine: Bitter?

Aladdin: No. (draws close to her, smiles and kisses her on the lips for several seconds) Not now.

Jasmine: (wraps her arms around his shoulders loosely, plays with his hair) Not tonight, either. (smiles seductively)

Aladdin: Why wait until tonight? (lifts her in his arms and carries her inside; faint giggles are heard from the bed)

A/N: Well, what do you think? Comments, suggestions, WTFs, all welcome. Especially suggestions for future chapters. This is mostly ad-libbing. My own little "vacation" from the restrictive structure of Antiphony.