Author's note: Why is even my PWP angsty? This was written for marchwarden23 on LJ who implanted the idea of rough ZackxCloud in my brain.

Cloud's eyes opened slowly and blinked away the bleariness of the hazy sleep a noise had dragged him out of. The room was dark save for a shaft of light coming from the door. Zack was pulling off his boots and tossing them to the side, muttering to them and the sword he laid in the corner. The blond-haired boy turned to watch him silently, the moonlight and the hall light bathing him in a soft bluish swatch of color. His mako-blue eyes, normally a bright turquoise, looked nearly purple, like twin lights casting shadows on the planes of his face contorted with . . . something. Something painful.

Cloud slowly sat up in the twisted covers and shook off the last remnant of sleep as Zack shut the door as quietly as he could, but he could see the tension in the older boy's arms—could see that he had wanted to slam it. Now Cloud could barely see anything but dim shapes and Zack's eyes and blue-bathed face.

"Zack?" Cloud called, reaching out toward the light of those eyes—usually so kind, now so . . . cold. The eyes turned onto him and they came forward. When he was close enough Cloud could see him bathed in shadows and mako. The bed shifted as he sat on the foot of it. Instinctively Cloud drew closer, hand still reaching out for him half-blindly for comfort and warmth, but the older boy caught his wrist in his gloved hand. Cloud made a little noise—didn't even know he was making it, he was so startled. The hold was tight and hurt a little; it was anything but affectionate, anything but Zack.

"What's wrong, Zack?" Cloud whispered, afraid to hear the answer. Zack had probably been to see Sephiroth in the middle of the night. He had grown more and more restless with each day the silver-haired man had kept himself shut up in the Shinra Mansion library. The room seemed to get darker and Zack's eyes brighter as he drew closer and pushed the sheet concealing Cloud's body away. The blond seemed to shrink back at this, the cool air over his exposed legs and the intensity in Zack's eyes making him shiver. Had Zack ever looked at him like that, with so many conflicted emotions so clear in their depths? Cloud saw desire, fear, love . . . and there were other things there, darker things that seemed to drape over him, drape over Cloud. Outside, lightning flashed and illuminated wet black hair sticking to full lips.

"Shh," Zack whispered as he pressed his damp body over Cloud's, his knee moving between his legs. His hands pressed both of Cloud's wrists up above his head and he looked down with those conflicted eyes at pale yellow hair fanned over the bed, at his helpless chest heaving. Cloud trembled, his eyes flashing between fear and trust.

"I need this," Zack whispered almost reverently, as if he was kneeling at a pew instead of between Cloud's legs. "Need you." Cloud swallowed and cried into the rough kiss that followed; it left him breathless and made Zack's fingers restless—they tensed as they caught both thin wrists between them and squeezed with a force that made Cloud ache, his own fingers twitch. The cold flames in Zack's eyes sent more shivers down his spine and now that his other hand was free he grasped the waistband of the blond's boxers and yanked them roughly off his slim thighs and tossed them somewhere toward the foot of the bed. Cloud's body twitched as if he was experiencing his first time nude in front of Zack again, goose bumps crawling over his skin. There was another intense kiss and this time he responded—weakly at first but then with equal fervor. His heart pounded in his chest and he was almost embarrassingly hard.

"Need to feel you," Zack gasped against Cloud's lips. "Need to be in you," he continued, voice trembly as he kissed heated skin. He pressed his forehead against the blond's shoulder and then turned his mouth up toward the hollow of Cloud's throat to give it wet kisses. The crushing hold on those delicate wrists fell away as Zack leaned back up again and tugged armor and clothes off restlessly, his shaky fingers nearly tearing his pants apart. Cloud's breathing hitched at the sight of Zack's body, at the sound of the older boy's heavy breathing. They slid together roughly, Cloud's hips arching off the bed and crashing into Zack's.

"Get the lube," Zack growled against Cloud's chest. His mouth puffed hot damp breaths against a nipple and Cloud's fingers clumsily fumbled at a drawer to retrieve the vial and pressed it into Zack's waiting fingers.

Thunder crashed and Cloud's body tensed all over, his back arching impossibly when Zack mouthed a nipple and dragged teeth against the sensitive area around it. He expected to feel slick probing fingers next, but he cried out with surprise—something that sounded like a squeal—as Zack unceremoniously stabbed inside of him. Fingers clamped around his wrists again and hips drew back only to sink back inside. Cloud tried to bite back a ragged cry, his arms shifting in Zack's strong grasp. Pain and heady pleasure shot through his spine and he saw dark desire and desperation in Zack's eyes. The smaller boy whimpered, legs clumsily hooking around Zack's, body twitching around the older boy's.

Zack had never been like this with him before. His touches had always been soft, careful, but not without their own impatient passion. Those touches, that slowly building passion, those made him feel warm, safe, loved. But this was different.

"Shh," Zack was whispering again, covering Cloud's lips with hard bruising kisses as he pounded inside him. The bed beneath them creaked and Cloud's head fell back into the pillows, a palm pressing over his own mouth to stifle a strangled groan as it suddenly started to feel good. Oh gods, so good. His eyes rolled back and he hissed Zack's name as he felt hands move around his ankles and push his legs up into his chest. Hips snapped and dragged a loud cry from Cloud which became muffled in his hand, but it was still entirely too loud, so the raven-haired boy pulled all the way out and flipped Cloud face down against the mattress, handling him roughly as he pressed the boy's face in the stifling pillows and plunged back inside him.

With each thrust Cloud sobbed out into the pillows and writhed back against Zack wantonly. He no longer cared about the hows and whys of Zack's unusual behavior as he became wrapped up in how this felt despite the initial hurt and confusion. His whole body felt like it was on fire, like it was going to explode soon—each thrust brushed against that spot that made his eyes roll back and his muscles tense. And then Zack's palm slid between his legs and fingers wrapped around his throbbing heat.

Cloud's body jerked and his teeth tore at the fabric of the pillow as a hoarse cry escaped him. He came all over Zack's fingers and made a pool of hot sticky release against the sheets. The raven-haired boy's fingers continued to stroke and twist over Cloud even as he seized up and drove into the boy one last time, filling him with a warmth and heaviness. He withdrew immediately and dragged Cloud a few inches from the wet spot he'd made and then turned him over, apologizing against his throat with trembling fingers and wet eyes. The rain beat hard against the window and another flash of lightning revealed a glistening tear sliding down along the older boy's cheek. Cloud pulled Zack down against him and kissed it away before kissing his lips softly.

"Cloud," Zack began, but the blond smiled and hooked his legs around the other boy's waist, reveling in the dull ache between his legs.

"You don't have to apologize." He pressed his smiling lips against the downward curve of Zack's frown. "I love you." It came as naturally as if he had said it a thousand times, though it was the first.

Zack hesitated for a moment, but then he pressed a palm to Cloud's face and trailed rough fingers against the curve of his smile.

"I love you too."