Under your Skin

Somehow, it just kept getting harder to smile.

Kuki was never one for hiding her emotions; everything she was, everything she believed, it was all out there for the world to see. She could no more mask who she was than she could mask the sky. Except for this.

Sitting alone in her room (though not really alone, it seemed, in the presence of so many stuffed animals with their permanent stares and fixed smiles), Kuki finally gave herself permission to frown.

It was odd, Kuki thought as she hugged one of her many plush toys to her chest; she thought she knew what love was, what it meant to be in love with someone. It was supposed to be easy. It was supposed to be lovely and sweet, like lying in a field of wild flowers with the sun tanning your face. It was not supposed to hurt.

Kuki liked to flirt, that was something everyone knew. She understood just the way she had to pout, how to cock her head, how to shift he weight, how to twirl her hair. Boys flew to her like flies to honey. Except for him: he came anyway, without the flirting, without the tricks.

Wallabee Beetles. Kuki was in love with him, that much she sure of. She didn't have to act coy or giggle prettily to get him to come to her; he came without provocation. She felt safe with him, like she would never have to worry again. She felt free to be herself and make mistakes and not fear rejection. She felt at home.

Wallabee Beetles was in love with her, this she was also aware of. He tried to hide it; of course he tried to hide it. Tough, strong guys just didn't fall in love, especially not with girls like her. But Kuki could tell anyway; the little blushes, the stuttering words… It was all so cute, so sweet and innocent. It made Kuki love him even more.

Yet they didn't tell each other. They couldn't tell each other.

It was as if both of them felt they were walking a razor thin edge between two things. Where they were was safe, understood, not perfect, but close enough. But over there…

Over there was uncertainty that could lead to something wonderful, something both of them longed for, or complete and total ruin that left them without even a friendship to return to.

They loved each other too much. They wouldn't risk that step, risk losing the other forever, no matter the gains. So they kept to their balancing act, two halves that could embrace and be close but never truly be one. It kept them together and, every day, it tore them apart just a little bit more.

Their friendship strained under their love, knowing they could have more but fearing it too much to go and get it. Kuki tried to smile, to pretend it wasn't happening, but it remained and persisted. It just got worse. Kuki would close her eyes and see his face; she would dream and hear his voice. She wanted him to be hers and hers alone but she couldn't bring herself to do it, to cross the line and break the unspoken pact.

Even now, in her room, his presence taunted her, hung in the air an everlasting phantom, speaking to her…

"Kuki…" the illusion whispered in his voice, his lovely, adorable voice.

"Go away," Kuki mumbled into her stuffed animal, shutting her eyes against the sound.

"I love you," the voice said, mocking her.

"Go away," she said again.

"Kuki…"

"Go away!" she screeched, pushing her palms against her ears and curling herself into a protective ball she vowed never, ever to come out of.

"Kuki?" It was the same voice but solid, more real; Wally was outside her door.

Quickly, Kuki force herself to smile, "Coming, Numbuh 4!" she cried, making sure she sounded ridiculously happy. She trotted over to her door and pulled it open to reveal the all-too-familiar Australian in his signature orange hoodie. Beneath his blonde bangs there was worry in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked, "You were yelling and the guys and I thought…"

Kuki chocked out a giggle, "Nothing's wrong, silly," she insisted falsely, "I was just playing a game with Mrs. Fluffy-Pants," to illustrate her point she held up the stuffed animal she was still holding, only just then realizing it was a rabbit whose name was not, in fact, Mrs. Fluffy Pants but rather Pinky-Winky. She bit her lip and hoped he didn't notice the mistake.

Obviously Wally didn't keep very close track of the name she gave her toys and seemed to believe her story. He smiled at her in relief (what a smile) and raised his hand as if to touch her face or her hair, but suddenly hesitated. The silent promise. The rule. He felt them there too. The hand returned to his side.

"See ya' later, then," he said, and his voice sounded tighter than before. He waved goodbye, a small, almost pathetic movement, and jogged back down the hall, returning to the others. Kuki grinned and waved after him as he left, feeling her heart crack just a little bit more.

A/N: You'll notice that these stories seem pretty damn introverted. Meaning there's a lot more thinking and a lot less action. There are two reasons for that: 1) Action would require a lot more work and I am lazy and 2) it's easier to write introverted angst. I'm gonna try to write a more plot-driven one-shot (not for the next one; the next one is already planned out and part-way through being written, but maybe the one after that), we'll see what happens. That aside, this is the first time in this collection that I feel like I've really grasped Wally and Kuki. Happy days!

Also, a quick shot-out to my reviewers: thanks so much guys for stopping in my little corner of the internet. It's great to hear some feedback on these silly little stories I've been writing!