A/N: I don't know why I never posted this chapter on this site. I read Fame and then this story and found myself wanting to finish it. I think it'd be neat finishing something I started when I was 15. The support has been really great, I went through some stuff that kind of took me away from fanfiction and it was really awesome reading the feedback. I thank everyone who read and enjoyed my writing. I know it's not the best and there were plenty of mistakes but I think it's great that there are people out there who liked it. I liked writing it and I want to work towards finishing. I don't know if it'll have much of a following now but either way, I think it's worth finishing. I copied and pasted this chapter from a forum and it's so long I'm praying I have it right. Haha

Ashley sat outside with her back against the brick house enjoying a freshly lit cigarette. The last two days had passed on quietly for her and everyone else under the Carlin roof. She continued waking up early and heading outside for a cigarette where Paula always found her. They exchanged small talk until the older blonde invited her inside to make breakfast. The rock star wouldn't hesitate walking over to the fridge and grabbing whatever ingredients she needed to make a wonderful meal. Paula started helping less and less as they days passed on, preferring to stand and talk to the cooking teen rather than pick up a knife. Ashley didn't mind. She enjoyed the extra work. She was finding cooking to be very therapeutic. It took her mind off most her problems and was fun, especially when Spencer joined. The groggy blonde would always walk in yawning and kiss her cheek after greeting her mother. Predictably, Paula would choose that moment to leave. Ashley was becoming suspicious of the older blonde as she became suspicious of her and Spencer. To Ashley's relief, there was never any tension to go along with it. After hanging out in the kitchen, the rock star would usually be dragged away by either Denny or Caitlyn. The siblings surprisingly wanted her for the same reason. Her guitar playing was something they both enjoyed, with Spencer's help, she managed to give Caitlyn lessons while giving Denny her opinion on his playing. Ashley would spend the rest of the day either hanging out with Spencer or her cousins.

The door opening got her attention. She turned her head and watched a very tall darkly dressed teenager softly close the door. There was no doubt in her mind that the figure was Denny. Her eyes scanned him from head to toe as she took a long drag off her cigarette. "Where are you going?" She asked before he could step off the porch. His long frame froze for a good 30 seconds, Ashley wondered if it had anything to do with the cold weather. She got her answer when he turned around. His face held nothing less than fear but it eased up when he looked hard and realized it was just her.

Broad shoulders rose and fell as the 16 year old sighed his relief. He was extremely happy it wasn't Paula on the porch. "You scared the living shit out of me." He said moving toward the sitting figure. His shadow covered her entire body, he fought back a chuckle. Ashley Davies was a lot shorter in person. The petite size was adorable, he admitted watching her smoke more of the cigarette between her fingers. "What are you doing out here anyway," He hugged himself tighter, his breath easily seen in the air, he gaped down at the rock star. Nothing covered her bare arms, she sat wearing a gray tank top with boxer shorts and her slip ons.

Peering up at Denny, she removed the cigarette from her lips and smiled at him. "Spencer and I just got finished fucking." She took another drag off her cigarette loving the shock over the younger boy's face. "I just needed a cigarette after that." She shrugged blowing smoke away from him.

Denny stood still staring at Ashley, waiting for her to burst out into laughter, it never happened. She can't be serious, he thought looking her over. Her hair was messier than usual, he guessed it could have been from lying in bed...or from his cousin's hands. "Are you serious?" He asked kneeling down beside her.

"Nah." She answered throwing the small bud in the snow. She looked at him. "Wishful thinking."

"That makes more sense." He chuckled crossing his long legs. "I'm sorry but Spencer and lesbian sex- I just don't see it happening."

If only he knew. "Why not?"

Denny laughed. "Are you seriously asking me that?" She nodded. "Come on Ashley. Spencer's as straight as my finger." He said holding his index finger straight up.

Ashley rolled her eyes. "That doesn't mean anything. Most of the groupies I've slept with were 'straight' and that didn't stop them from escorting me to bed." She spoke before the onslaught of questions left his mouth and filled the cold air. She wasn't in the mood to talk about the whores she had been with. "Why are you sneaking out?" She asked a question of her own.

Denny didn't hesitate telling the truth. Ashley was cool and would understand why he had to leave. "My boyfriend's party is still going and I want to crash it. He text me and according to him it's a party I can't miss. Joints and Jesse, my two favorite J's." He finished grinning.

Ashley's face was far from mirroring his. There was a frown over her lips, she hated that Denny was getting into drugs, making her feel like a hypocrite. She thought back to everyone from Glen to Spencer and wondered if her feelings were similar to theirs. The disappointment along with the fear of him getting high and doing something he'll regret later. And then she felt bad knowing she had put everyone through that bullshit. A surge of determination ran through her. She wasn't going to let Denny ever feel that way. In the end, the drugs weren't worth the emotional drama. Ashley was learning that the hard way. "Remember what we talked about the other day?" She started casually. "About your music."

Denny nodded. "Yeah. You said you liked my songs and I had potential to be big if I wanted to." Which he did. All Denny could think about while playing his guitar was being on stage, in front of hundreds of people, it was his dream to be the person Ashley Davies was. He even had a CD cover design ready. The only thing holding him back from fulfilling his dream was high school. But that wasn't going to be a problem for long. The tall 16 year old was going to be a senior next year. Only one more year, he thought happily.

"I won't help you if you're doing drugs." Her voice was all business and it wasn't hard for him tell she was serious. The rock star didn't feel anything as she watched his happy expression slowly change. There was no way in hell she was going to let this potentially great musician, who she was beginning to like, lose himself to drugs. She refused to let Spencer deal with another ruined loved one. "I have all the hookups you need to become successful. Hardly anyone starting out has that. You don't want to lose me."

Denny looked away finding the rock star's words ridiculous. He thought a moment and then smiled sarcastically, shaking his head, he met brown eyes again. "I don't see the big deal." He laughed a little. "I mean come on, it's just pot!" He laughed harder. "Nobody OD's on pot. What's the big deal?"

"I didn't wake up one morning and decide I wanted to snort cocaine." Ashley looked away. "For awhile I just smoked pot, but then, I wanted to do more, try something harder because if the pot highs were good, imagine what cocaine would do to me." She smiled bitterly. "Pot is considered a gateway drug for a reason. If you get hooked then the chances of you moving onto harder stuff is high." She looked at him. There was great interest in his eyes, she could tell he was actually listening. She took that as an advantage and hoped her words would help him change his mind about drugs. They weren't fun. "You don't want to end up like me or your mother, Denny." He looked away somewhat ashamed. "It's just best to avoid that shit completely."

There was a brief but comfortable silence between them. Sighing, Denny broke it."You're right," He scooted back against the wall next to the rock star. "I don't want to end up like her." His head fell back against the cold brick as question after question filled his young mind. Was that the reality he was facing? Ending up like his mother? Abandoning her two children for a lifestyle that will end up killing her? Denny didn't want to come remotely close to that. "I'll try Ashley." He turned his head and met her gaze. "No, scratch that. I won't do it anymore. I won't ever do it again." The emotion in his voice and eyes was clearly visible, Ashley leaned forward and urged the taller teen into her arms. Denny closed his eyes. "I never want to end up like my mother." He whispered into the embrace.

I never want to end up like my father. "You're better than that Denny. You're going to be amazing."

And nothing like me.

Paula sat at the kitchen table enjoying a fresh cup of coffee. She was savoring every second of her day off, not having had one in a couple of weeks, she was happy being able to spend the whole day at home. Her eyes flickered up to her husband. Arthur sat at the opposite end of the table reading the newspaper while eating his oatmeal. Paula looked down at her own bowl and wondered how Ashley would have made it. She chuckled at the thought sipping more of her coffee. After throwing on her robe, she had walked outside, intent on getting the newspaper, and immediately realized Ashley was nowhere to be seen. The disappointment she felt surprised her. She then realized how much she was beginning to like the girl. She was smart, a great listener and an amazing cook; breakfast wasn't the same without her.

Arthur looked up at his grinning wife. "What's so funny?" He asked eating more of his breakfast. Paula was no Ashley but she did okay. The food was good and wouldn't kill him. Spencer on the other hand, Arthur wouldn't take a bowl of cereal from his daughter. The 17 year old knew absolutely nothing about food. He learned that after allowing her to make spaghetti one night. The noodles were all stuck together in giant chunks, the sauce was too salty, and it was overall watery.

The older blonde shook her head. "Nothing. I was just thinking about Ashley." She met her husband's amused gaze. "I feel bad for taking advantage of the poor girl. Well, I take that back. She likes cooking for us but I'm starting to feel spoiled." She sighed. "Is it wrong to treat our guest like a house chef?"

Arthur shrugged. "I don't see a problem if she enjoys it." He smiled. "And so be it if we're getting spoiled along the way. We're hard working people, we deserve a bit of bliss."

Paula laughed. "Is that how you see Ashley's cooking? Blissful?"

The older man thought a moment before nodding. "Pretty much. The kid has talent."

Paula agreed. "And you were having second thoughts about letting her stay."

"I'm still a little uneasy when it comes to her." Arthur admitted. "I mean, her and Spencer are never apart-"

"Ashley's her guest. Of course they're going to be together-"

"I know Paula but It's more than just hanging out, I think. This morning I walked by Spencer's room and she wasn't in there."
"She slept downstairs with Ashley." Paula answered knowingly. The laundry room was also part of the basement. On her way to bring a basket of dirty laundry down, she had come across Denny. The tall boy was sound asleep on the couch. She hesitated before walking over to the guest room, remembering Spencer's room being empty, she took a peek inside and made out two sleeping bodies on the bed. She closed the door with a sigh, her emotions all over the place- she reminded herself that she was once young and had no right to be angry or upset. "Arthur I'll be honest with you and say I do believe there's something going on between them-"

"We have to get her out of here." Arthur hissed standing up. The whole idea of Ashley seducing his little girl was sickening. It was his job to protect Spencer in every way possible, he wasn't going to allow Ashley to brain wash her.

"Sit down." Paula commanded sternly. The anger on her husband's face was understandable. They both grew up respectively in church going homes, Arthur had every right to be angry at Ashley. But it took two to tangle and Spencer was too smart to blindly follow someone, including Ashley or anyone else in the world. Concluding that her daughter wanted Ashley as much as the rock star wanted her, Paula knew throwing Ashley out of the house wouldn't solve anything. "Arthur we're not finished talking."

"I'm finished allowing our daughter to be seduced-"

"Enough, Arthur! Just listen to me if you won't sit down." Paula sat up straighter in her seat preparing herself for a long memorable confession. "We're not throwing Ashley out," She held up a long elegant finger, stopping Arthur from talking. "Spencer invited her to stay and I gave her permission to do so. I'm not a liar, I told Spencer she could bring home Ashley, knowing she was a lesbian and a drug addict because I trust our daughter's judgment. And we don't even know if they're really doing anything, they could just be good friends. But I would still love both Spencer and Ashley if they were more because I was their age once," She hesitated before continuing. "And I know what it's like to be...curious."

Arthur slowly retook his seat. "Curious?"

"Yeah." Paula answered casually. "I dated a girl back in high school and we lasted two weeks before I met you, fell madly in love and got married. That was the end of that and I'm sure it'll be the same for Spencer," She smiled reassuringly, "Just a phase."

Arthur stayed quiet for a moment, taking in everything, he sighed. "I don't like it Paula."

"It's a part of growing up for some people."

"What if it's not a phase?"

Paula didn't hesitate answering, "She's my daughter and I'll love her regardless."

The world was spinning, brown eyes could see it, everything moving in circles in her mind. Her hands clutched on harder to the counter top she sat on. There was a blank look in her hooded eyes as she watched the room twist and turn, change colors, and even shake. If she were sober she'd realize she was the one shaking. Shudder after shudder wracked her young body as she sat in the nice bathroom. Her body soaked in sweat from playing the show, her hair drenched, she felt the salty liquid slither into her eye but didn't feel it burn. Ashley didn't know what she was tripping on. All she remembered was being offered it back stage, small and white, she didn't hesitate swallowing the pill down. Leaning back, her head hit the mirror with a thud as an incredible warmth swept through her. Her eyes stared up into the bright light above her head. For a moment, she swore she was in space, staring at the sun, she reached out to touch it, but then quickly drew her hand back as a series of tingles swept through her. She cradled her arm and stared down, thinking it had been burned off, she settled back against the mirror with a silly grin on her face. Everything felt amazing, her body was warm, her mind in ecstasy, everything was just perfect.

"You're crying."

The words entered her mind, Ashley lazily turned her head, meeting the owner of the soft words, she strained her eyes to make out her face. Frustrated, her teeth clamped down on her bottom lip when she realized she couldn't see anything more than a blur, her visitor's whole body was one big blur, all she could make out was a hazy outline; long brunette hair, slim body taller than herself, and the softest voice she had ever heard. "Am I?" She asked and heard her own voice echo inside her head. "I don't feel it."

"Can you feel anything?" The voice asked, coming closer, Ashley looked harder, wanting more than anything to see the woman's eyes. "Hey," The girl cooed cupping and stroking her face, Ashley closed her eyes tired of trying. She focused on soaking up the comfort the stranger was providing. "Relax Ashley, you're biting too hard on your lip, you're going to hurt yourself."

"It doesn't matter." She mumbled loving the soft skin against her face, the feeling was intensified with the drug she had taken, her eyes opened and she stared up into the stranger's face. Still nothing, Ashley hated it but the feeling was covered by her racing heart and dizziness that had all of a sudden plagued her. She felt light headed, she was border lining passing out, but felt no fear. Feeling the hand caress her face, she knew the woman would keep her safe.

She would always keep her safe.

But then she heard other voices, familiar voices, and whimpered when she felt the hand leave her face.

She blacked out.

Brown eyes opened as Ashley groggily lifted her upper body, moving off her girlfriend, she rolled over and searched around for her cell phone. Once again, the ring tone was obnoxiously loud, Ashley made a mental note to switch it to vibrate and keep it that way. With a groan, she crawled over to the edge and felt around under the bed. The phone had stopped ringing the moment she found it, with a frown, she rolled over on her back and stretched with a yawn. She didn't remember falling asleep but apparently did, turning her head, she was met with Spencer's back. The blonde was sleeping on her side now with a pillow over her head, obviously trying to block out the sound of her phone. The rock star moved over and removed the pillow, kissing her cheek, she allowed her lips to linger on the flawess soft skin, thinking she was the luckiest girl in the world, she got off the bed and headed towards the door. "No," She heard her girlfriend croak as she reached out for the doorknob. Ashley looked over her shoulder and met hooded gray eyes. "Don't leave."

"I don't want to disturb your sleep." She explained watching Spencer yawn deeply. There was a smile on her beautiful face as she blinked her eyes awake. "Come back to bed." She chuckled briefly. "You're never here when I wake up." She said snuggling up against a pillow.

Never refusing her girlfriend a thing, the rock star walked over to the bed and easily crawled over to her. "Does this make you happy?" She murmured sampling her lips. There was a soft smile on Ashley's lips as she gazed down into her lover's eyes. Gorgeous gray orbs were fogged over with enough love to leave her speechless, Ashley cupped and stroked the side of her face with her thumb, relishing the soft, subtle skin under her caress, the rock star moved down and took her lips once again. "You're kissing me," Spencer murmured between kisses, "Of course I'm happy."

Ashley smiled, nuzzling her nose against her girlfriend's, she felt a warm hand on her neck followed by fingers stroking the hickey staining her skin. "Did you enjoy putting that there?" She quietly asked watching her girlfriend move her head to get a better look at it. "Hmmm," Spencer playfully hummed fingering the dark mark, "It looks like I did." She met Ashley's gaze with a teasing smile. "It's the biggest one I've given you."

The rock star gazed down into happy gray eyes, feeling gentle fingers on her neck, she forced a smile feeling somewhat confused. There was a time, not too long ago, when waking up to a hickey meant the start of a bad day. Warning her bed friends about leaving hickies was usually the first thing she'd do before engaging in any type of sexual activity. But that would never be the case with Spencer, Ashley realized strangely. She loved everything the blonde did to her and her body. From the hickies on her neck, to the scratches down her back- Spencer could light her on fire and she'd still be head over heels in love with the girl. The thought was overwhelming, Ashley looked away as the reality of everything seemed to hit her for the first time. "What's wrong?" Her girlfriend questioned from underneath her.

"Nothing feels the same. Every thing is just…" She looked at her trying to find the right words for the feelings she couldn't comprehend. "Different?" Spencer looked just as confused, Ashley moved off her and sat on her knees. Her hands occupied themselves with flipping open and close her cell phone. "I've never felt like this." She admitted looking up at Spencer. "It's just overwhelming I guess. I feel like a totally different person now. It's kind of scary."

Spencer sat up and took her girlfriend's left hand in hers. "You are becoming a different person now." Her thumb gently messaged tanned skin, "Drugs and sex have corrupted the last two years of your life. What you're feeling is completely understandable. A lot is different now. Instead of being in L.A. doing drugs and having sex, you're here with me." She leaned forward and urged her girlfriend in her arms, hugging her tightly. "Change is a scary thing Baby, but I promise you, in the end, when the drugs are gone for good, and your mind and body are free from them, it'll all be worth the confusion and fear you're feeling now."

"I hope so Spencer." She sighed closing her eyes and enjoying the warmth surrounding her. "I hate feeling like this." She added silently vowing to ignore her ridiculous feelings. Here she was, lying in bed with the most beautiful girl she had ever laid her eyes on- what was there to be afraid of?

The brown haired teenager leaned back against his seat watching the dark haired man drum his fingers against the kitchen table. Everything about the blue eyed muscular man aggravated the boy. He regretted answering the front door two hours before. Denny couldn't explain it but for some reason Aiden always bothered him. He thought it was jealousy at first, this prick was living his dream of being a rock star, but then he realized he just didn't like him. Even now as they sat quietly in the kitchen, waiting for Spencer and Ashley to make an appearance, his fingers were driving him crazy. He clenched his fists and fought hard to keep from yelling at his cousin's ex. Paula would murder him for cursing out Aiden, she was practically in love with him and Denny didn't want to be grounded for another eternity. "I should go down there and check on them myself." Aiden suggested for the 10th time since entering the Carlin home.

Denny immediately shook his head from side to side. "I told you they're doing some secret music shit that's meant for their ears only." He shrugged. "Sorry." It was the first thing he could think of to tell Aiden. The truth was Ashley and Spencer were peacefully asleep in the guest bedroom, Denny didn't want Aiden to ruin their little nap.

Aiden didn't buy the lie for one second. He knew if Spencer and Ashley were in the basement alone music would be the last thing on their mind. "Denny I assure you it's fine if I go down there and check on them myself." He smiled reassuringly. "I'm apart of the biz too. I know how these things work."

The teenager sighed his annoyance. "Just sit there and deal with having to wait."

"I've been waiting for over an hour. I promise you working on music doesn't take that long-"

"Ashley's very passionate about her music and perfection takes time." He stood up. "I'm grabbing something to drink. Do you want something?"

Aiden frowned. "Yeah, thanks."

Denny walked over to the fridge thinking of ways to get Aiden to leave. Grabbing two cokes, he threw all ideas out the window. It would take a fire to get the thick headed asshole to leave. "Here." He said sliding the can of soda over to Aiden. Watching his big hands open the can, he hoped it would explode all over him, frowning, he opened his own can when his hopes were shattered. "So Denny how's school?"

The teenager took a large gulp before setting his can down and meeting expectant blue eyes. "Cool. It's easy to score drugs there." He said taking another gulp of soda.

"Drugs aren't cool Denny." Aiden said seriously, watching the younger boy fight back a giggle. "It's not funny either. Drugs are bad for you."

The brown haired teen rolled his eyes. "Yeah I know. It stuns your growth." He looked down at his 6'3 frame. "I don't think I have anything to worry about."

"Stuns your growth?!" Aiden repeated incredulously. "Denny it ruins people's lives!"

"Like you would know." He laughed. "Aiden you don't know anything. You're too big of a pussy to even touch the shit."

Ashley stood at the door way staring at the two. She had caught the last bit of their conversation and couldn't help but wonder how the word 'pussy' became involved. Hearing it out of Spencer's cousin's mouth made it comical, she found herself smiling as she walked into the room thanking god Spencer was in the bathroom. She knew Denny would have been in for a verbal scolding if she had heard him. "What am I walking into?" Ashley asked Denny.

He looked over and met the rock star's amused gaze. He had no idea how much Ashley had heard so decided to fill her in. "Pussy- I mean Aiden tried to give me a lecture on something he knows nothing about."

"Is that so?" She looked at Aiden and the smile on her face slowly died when she noticed the grave expression on his naturally handsome features. It didn't take much to realize something was seriously wrong. He didn't say anything for seconds, and then looked down, Ashley could tell he was conflicted. She looked at Denny. "Can you give us a couple seconds?" The tall boy gave her a strange look and then looked at Aiden. With an eye roll, he muttered something about being a pussy and then got up and left the room. Ashley focused her attention back on Aiden. "What's wrong?"

He took a deep breath before looking up and meeting her gaze. "Ashley I just came back from L.A." He paused a moment. "I paid a visit to Pops in the hospital and he's in pretty bad shape." He looked around. "What are you doing here?" His eyes found hers again. "You should be over there with him. He's...he's dying Ash."

Ashley's eyes slightly narrowed at the appalled look on his face. He almost seemed disgusted at the fact that she wasn't holding her father's hand as he slowly died, but what did he know? Absolutely nothing, Ashley answered her own question finding the entire situation stressful. No one knew anything, no one understood how she really felt. What everyone knew was a lie. Fueled by what the media portrayed them as, she knew it wouldn't be easy convincing others that she could careless about her father. Well showing them wouldn't be hard, convincing them not to hate her would be. "Are you saying I should just pack my shit and leave?"

The rock star's tone was neutral, Aiden didn't detect any nasty sarcasm, but there was a bit of carelessness in her voice. "That's exactly what I'm saying Ashley. He needs you, his daughter, especially now that he's sick." Ashley sighed deeply looking away. "He did ask for you," He added watching as she brought her hands up to her face, her fingers messaging her temples- the stress was easily seen on her face but it wasn't enough to get him to stop. "He asked me when were you going to visit and I had no idea what to tell him-"

"Well let's solve that problem now." She muttered dropping her hands. Her head turned and she stared boldly into his eyes. For some reason hearing those words pissed her off, she couldn't explain the anger but it was there consuming her mind and flying out her mouth. "Next time you see him, tell him I'm never going to visit, okay? Because that's the truth Aiden." She turned away and headed toward the refrigerator. "I'm never going to visit."

Aiden sat dumbstruck watching Ashley grab a soda out of the ice box. Had those words really left her mouth? He couldn't believe them. Sure there had been some tense moments between the two Davies, but nothing overly major, he couldn't wrap his mind around Ashley's attitude towards her father. They had been close for as long as he could remember. "How-"

"Aiden?!"

His head turned and he was met with a smiling blonde. The taller man didn't hesitate getting up and scooping Spencer up in a large hug. "Hey you," He greeted placing her back down on the ground. He took a couple of steps back sizing up his ex girlfriend. She looked good wearing a pair of jeans with one of Ashley's band shirts. Her hair was newly fixed and eyes vibrant nearly leaving him speechless. "You look good." He complimented casually.

"You do too." She replied taking in his newly shaved face, longer hair style and nice outfit. "Where's Darcey?"

"I left her back home with her family." He answered with a shrug. "She wanted to spend the Holidays with them."

Ashley leaned against the kitchen sink slowly sipping her diet coke. "You should be thankful." She murmured against the can remembering the pain in the ass that was Darcey. She couldn't have been more relieved knowing the bitch was back at home and not anywhere near her presence.

Hearing Ashley's low voice, Aiden turned his attention toward her. She gave him a look that demanded he watch what he say, he slightly bit down on his lower lip and looked away. He was going to talk to Ashley about Pops later, his eyes landed on Spencer. He assumed the rock star didn't want to have the conversation in front of her. "Where's the rest of the Carlin clan?" He changed the subject and asked the question with a smile.

Spencer looked from Aiden to Ashley with a curious gaze. She couldn't help but wonder if there was some sort of problem. Ashley's eyes were on the floor, her mind on a totally different planet. The blonde looked back at Aiden. "I have no idea." She answered running her hand through her hair. "Are they not here?"

Aiden shrugged. "I asked Denny and he told me not to worry about it." A taunting smile spread over his lips. "You guys sure spent a lot of time in the basement. What was it Denny told me you were doing...oh yeah. Making music?" He looked down at his watch. "At 12:15 PM." He looked at Spencer. "That's kind of early..."

"Making music?" Spencer chuckled. "Denny is becoming quite the liar..."

Aiden leaned forward a bit. "Sooooooo what were you two really doing?"

"Does it matter?" Throwing the empty diet coke can in the trash, she walked over to Spencer and lightly pecked her lips. "I'm going outside for a bit."

Spencer leaned over and placed another kiss on her lips, sensing something was wrong, she pulled away. Ashley smiled briefly and then moved away. "Did I miss something?" Spencer asked after watching her lover leave the kitchen.

Staring into his ex's gray eyes, Aiden didn't have the heart to lie. "I told Ashley about Pops."

"What about Pops?" She carefully asked.

"He's in the hospital." He answered quietly. "Dying."

The cigarette in her hand soon became nothing more than a tiny bud slowly wasting away. Ashley didn't realize this until the skin on her hand burned. "Shit," She hissed dropping the small bud. She stood still and stared incredulously down at it. She didn't remember taking more than a couple of drags off it, brown eyes watched as a converse covered foot moved out to step on it's remains. With a sigh, she stared out into the front yard. It was full of fresh white snow, Ashley had been staring at it for what seemed like hours, taking in the beautiful scene- it didn't do much to ease her mind. The cigarette seemed like a waste of time and money, Ashley thought with a frown. She didn't know why she even bothered smoking it, the white stick filled with poison and tobacco was something completely useless and would most likely be the death of her. All she wanted to do was get away, not from Spencer or Ohio, just from herself, her problems, her dad. "Shut the fuck up Ashley." She murmured walking off the porch. She knew where her thoughts were heading and it wasn't anywhere bright. No, her mind was drifting off somewhere dark. A place where cocaine ruled everything. And that was her life. Needing to escape reality, cocaine was her body's first impulse. She would normally give into it, usually with a smile, but not this time. "Not ever." She walked through the snow following the sounds coming from the back of the house.

The smile that tainted her lips was so automatic that Ashley was unaware of its existence. There, sitting in the middle of the snow covered lawn was Caitlyn, button up from head to toe in winter clothes, she moved around making a snowman Ashley assumed by the two big balls of snow.

"Ashley."

The rock star turned her head and was very surprised to see Paula and Arthur lounging on two chairs settled on the back porch. She all of a sudden regretted walking to the back not knowing what she had interrupted. "Hey," She said very timidly in a voice she did not recognize.

"Don't be shy," Paula said warmly responding to the tense teenager's quiet tone. "Come join us," She stopped talking, hearing shuffling beside her, her attention was directed to the chair next to hers. Arthur had gotten up and was heading towards Caitlyn. Paula fought back a sigh, she knew his leaving had something to do with Ashley, not wanting the rock star to pick up on it, she looked at Ashley with a wide smile. "Well, come join me."

Brown eyes watched Arthur step off the porch, Ashley didn't think anything of it, her eyes returned back to Paula's welcoming gaze. She hesitated but eventually walked over to the porch, up the stairs, and to the white lounge chair. Ashley immediately melted against the soft padding, it did her back amazing wonders, she sunk back with a deep exhale and tried her best to relax. "Comfy," she mumbled watching Arthur help Caitlyn build her snowman. The small blonde caught a glimpse of her and stood up, waving enthusiastically at the rock star, she yelled 'look Ashley, I'm building a snowman. Wanna help?!' Ashley shook her head and with a convincing smile replied, "Maybe later." The little blonde replied 'okay' and continued building.

Caitlyn's invitation didn't surprise Paula. The small 7 year old had instantly taking a liking to the rock star and Ashley was quickly becoming 'my best friend Ashley.' Paula turned her head and saw the smile on Ashley's face, not only on her lips, but in her eyes as she watched Caitlyn play in the snow. She wondered when Caitlyn would become 'my best friend Caitlyn' to her. If it wasn't already. "She really likes you." The mother mused trying to start up conversation.

"Yeah." The rock star answered absently-mindedly. "It must be the whole famous rock star thing."

For some reason the words didn't sit well with Paula. Ashley's tone was soft and somewhat dazed, she turned her head and stared at the rock star. "She hasn't mentioned your celebrity status since you got here." Ashley's facial expression changed to wonder as Paula's words seemed to sink it. "It has nothing to do with the friendship she has with you." Paula looked back at Caitlyn. "She just likes the person you are."

"That doesn't happen often."

"It happened with Spencer."

Ashley's back went rigid. She fought hard to keep from turning her head,wanting to see the older woman's facial expression. Paula's voice didn't hold any anger or hesitation, it was just casual, smooth, relaxed. "Yeah." She murmured. The minutes of silence that followed seemed like hours to the rock star. She could feel Paula's eyes on her and the feeling wouldn't go away. The older blonde was staring, making Ashley paranoid. Her head turned and she boldly met her gaze. "Is there something wrong?"

Ashley's tone wasn't rude or mean but Paula could hear the apprehension in her voice. Her face didn't hold the nervousness her voice held. There was even a slight quiver in the short question. "How did you and my daughter meet?"

The random question took Ashley by surprise. She opened her mouth and then closed it, biting her tongue. How would she answer that? The truth was she was high, Spencer was in her hotel room, and they had sex. "Um," She broke Paula's gaze and allowed her eyes to fall on the older woman's shoes. "She introduced herself in my hotel room on Aiden's birthday." She looked back up at Paula. "That's pretty much it."

Paula didn't believe Ashley. There was a lot the rock star wasn't telling her. She watched a slender tanned throat swallow nervously, there was more to the story than what Ashley was giving her. She wasn't going to interrogate the girl for any answers. She seemed pale enough. "Well, I'm glad she did." The older blonde smiled. "Caitlyn would be missing out on a great friend if she hadn't." Her gaze turned away from the rock star and landed on Caitlyn. Arthur had gotten up and walked around to the front minutes before leaving the little girl working alone in the snow. "Hey Cait!" The 7 year old turned her head. "Still need some help?" She eagerly nodded. "Alright babe we're coming." She looked at Ashley. "Ever build a snowman?"

"Spencer he really wants to see her." Aiden pushed remembering Raife's parting words to him. The memory sent shivers down his spine. Ashley's father wasn't looking too good. Pale skin and dark circles beneath his eyes painted the manager's face. He spoke softly and somewhat drowsily from the medication he was on. He nearly begged him to convince Ashley to pay him a visit. They both knew it could be the last. "You need to talk her into seeing him." He turned his head to look at her. The two sat in the living room sharing hot chocolate while chatting on the couch. The conversation was far from being pleasant. The past 20 minutes was filled with details of Raife's critical condition. The more Spencer heard the more heartbroken she was. The worst part was hearing what Raife wanted the most. Ashley's presence.

"Aiden you don't understand." Spencer leaned forward and placed her hot chocolate on the coffee table, settling back against the couch, she allowed her eyes to fall shut. "Ashley hates the man and I'm sure she would rather have her teeth pulled out than leave to see him-"

"You have to at least try Spencer. The guy doesn't have much time. Maybe you should remind Ashley of that." Aiden stood up subtly and pulled out something in his back pocket. The quick movement got Spencer's attention. Her eyes opened and stared questionably up at Aiden. "Mom wrote up an invitation for you and everyone else to come over for Christmas. She heard you guys were skipping out this year."

Spencer nodded. "Caitlyn's been sick and Mom didn't want to hassle with the Holiday. It's a pain in the ass really."

Aiden chuckled. "Yeah, well. Hopefully coming over to our place will take some of the strain off. Remember last Christmas?" His eyebrows lifted and fell suggestively. "Christmas at around 2 in the morning when everyone was asleep."

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Quit picturing me naked." She teased. "And you can hand that over to Mom yourself." She pointed to the glass sliding doors. "She's out there."

Blue eyes flickered over to the backyard view and filled with surprise when he caught sight of the scene. "I didn't know Ashley was into snowmen."

Spencer turned her head and then stood up to get a better view. "I didn't either." She mumbled with a small smile. She couldn't help but think her girlfriend was adorable playing in the snow with Caitlyn and her mother. She held up the small girl long enough for her to place the two black buttons over the snowman's white face, instantly becoming the eyes.

"Who is she and what have you done with the real Ashley Davies?" Aiden mocked horror as he turned and faced his ex.

Spencer grinned. "That is the real Ashley Davies." Just without the drugs and crazy rock star lifestyle.

"Bull." Aiden looked back out the glass. "The real Ashley Davies never looked so happy." He looked back at Spencer. "You're good for her, you know that?"

"She makes me happy and I'm in love with her." She looked at Aiden. "She's good for me too."

Aiden looked down at the card and handed it over to her. "I have to get going. You know Christmas is in a couple of days and Mom needs help getting the place ready. Give Paula my love, Okay?" He pulled Spencer into a brief hug and felt her nod against his shoulder. Pulling away, Spencer silently walked him to the front door.

The glass door quickly slid open and was quickly closed shut. Ashley fought back a shiver as she removed Caitlyn from her back. The little blonde was set down with a giggle, Ashley straightened up and looked down at her with a full out smile. "You're getting heavier, what does Ms. Paula feed you? Miracle grow?" She teased rubbing her hands up and down her arms. She was beginning to regret never wearing a jacket outside. Her arms were numb from the intense weather, the small hairs standing erect, she fought back shiver after shiver while being stared up at.

"No!" The little girl giggled back shaking off her jacket.

The door slid open again, Ashley turned her head and was met with Paula's 'I told you so' gaze. "That's the last time I let you go outside without a jacket," She said motherly. "I don't care how adapt you think you are to cold weather, your lips are purple and your shaking." She began feeling her forehead, pausing when she noticed the strange look the rock star was giving her. The coldness against her hand was forgotten as she lowered her arm. "You okay?"

Ashley nodded, her eyes briefly glancing away before meeting Paula's examining gaze, her lips parted, "I'm F-fine." She answered with a slight chatter in her mouth. The coldness seemed to have caught up with her, outside, in the freezing weather she was too distracted to realize it's toll on her body, now inside, with the warm air shocking her body- she felt the freezing weather deep within her bones. "Just...cold."

Paula felt guilty as she stared into dark brown eyes. She should have made Ashley go back inside and put something over her bare arms. Now the teenage girl was paying a price she could have prevented, should have prevented- but then her thoughts froze. Would Ashley have listened to her? This wasn't one of her daughter's old friends, wasn't a family member, and sure as hell wasn't your average teenager. The girl before her was like no one else. She got whatever she wanted, did whatever she wanted, and always got away with it. No real parental guidance- Paula began to feel angry. What Ashley really needed was someone to guide her, and not some fucking manager, but someone who could careless about her money and more about her. Like a mother.

"Go upstairs," She ordered softly brushing damp bangs from Ashley's tanned brow. "It's warmer up there than the basement. I don't think Spencer would mind if you stayed in her bed for awhile. I'll bring you something warm to drink while you're up there."

"Me too?" Caitlyn asked from the otherside of the room. She had planted herself on the couch with the TV on Dora.

Paula looked at her and nodded. "You too." The little blonde smiled her satisfactory and turned her attention back to the TV. Gray eyes returned back to brown.

"Y-you don't have to." Ashley argued her eyes following Paula's head shake.

"A cup of hot chocolate will help warm up that cold body of yours." She watched the rock star's hands as they rubbed up and down her arms. "Now head up to bed."

Ashley didn't move. "I-I need to get my wallet d-down stairs."

"Your wallet?" Paula questioned with confusion. And then it seemed to hit her a second later "Ashley you don't need to pay me a penny! Have you never been cared for for free?" She wondered outloud beginning to rethink Ashley's reality.

"Spencer."

Paula couldn't believe the one word answer as she stared into Ashley's honest brown eyes. She wasn't okay knowing Spencer was the only person that truly cared for her and not her money. For some reason, Paula couldn't accept the idea of it. Sure her daughter meant a lot to her but was that really enough? Was family not an issue at all with the young girl? Did she not crave a mother's love? A family she could turn to whenever she needed a shoulder to cry on? Whenever she needed help? Was her daughter really all that and more to her? The one word answer opened a flood gate of questions. "There's more to you than I'll ever know."

Ashley seemed confused by the words. "Is that a question?"

"No." Paula answered softly. "It's a statement." She cleared her throat. "Come with me to the kitchen. I have some medicine that'll help you fall asleep faster. That should help you."

Ashley nodded and followed her into the kitchen.

The sound of fingers rushing over a keyboard filled the room, the noise deaf to the person responsible for it. Spencer sat at the computer desk in her room. Her laptop was wide open, email page filling the screen, her eyes saw but didn't really focus on what she was doing. Her mind wasn't attached to the messages she read. Her mind was too busy obsessing over Aiden's words. His description of Pops' worsening condition painted a horrible picture in her head, chilling, saddening- her heart went out to the man who took her in and treated her like another daughter. Spencer's eyes closed a second longer than usual. Better than his daughter.

But he was sorry for it.

Aiden had made that perfectly clear, hell, he was a hairs breath away from death and he was just beginning to feel sorry for how he treated Ashley. Spencer wasn't sure of the extent of his bad parenting but it didn't take a rocket scientist to realize he did something wrong. Taking a small child from her mother, living on a bus, growing up around groupies, drugs- and then there was the sex. Ashley's life was surrounded by it.

Pops didn't do a good job raising Ashley, that much was obvious, but he was sorry. She wondered if Ashley would be able to accept his apology.

No.

She would never accept it. The name alone always put her girlfriend in a bad mood and she found great joy in her father's condition. Spencer nearly winced at the thought. Pops' death would be happy news for Ashley. She would be the one crying at the funeral, not her girlfriend. No. She could see Ashley standing near his casket laughing, cursing, hell, maybe even boasting, thrusting the fact that he was dead and she was still breathing in his pale face.

"Hey,"

Spencer turned her head and gasped when she noticed her girlfriend. The rock star walked towards her bed with purple lips and chattering teeth. Her hands still ran up and down her arms furiously, trying to generate heat, the rock star reached out for the bed sheets before her hand was taken by her girlfriend's. "Are you alright?"

Ashley met her concerned gaze, "N-not really." She answered honestly allowing her girlfriend to urge her into the bed. The warm thick comforter felt good against her shivering body but it didn't compare to the fingers running through her hair, messaging her scalp- her eyes were hypnotized shut as she focused on her girlfriend's tender touch.

"Oh Ashley," The words were whispered quietly. "You need to learn to take better care of yourself."

A kiss to a tanned brow followed the words. Ashley slightly frowned realizing her stupidity. "I'm not very good at that." She mumbled. "Am I?" Her eyes opened and she looked up at Spencer. The blonde shook her head moving down to kiss her girlfriend's face again. "Y-you should go back to the computer. Your mother will be here soon."

"I'm more worried about you than what my mother will think."

"I'm fine." Ashley insisted weakly. "Just cold."

"I see that." Spencer replied lightly running her finger over purple lips. Dipping her head, she whispered softly in her girlfriend's ear. "Let me in there and I'll warm you up with a nice, tender cuddle."

"And how would you explain cuddling with a drug addict to your mother?"

Spencer pulled back surprised. Her eyes bore down into her girlfriend's face. Her eyes were tightly closed, jaw still trembling, lips purple. "That's not how I see you. That's not how anyone sees you."

"Bullshit." Ashley murmured. "T-that's all I am to P-pops, all I am to Brenda, how I'll die."

"That's not what you are to me. I love you so much," Brown eyes opened and stared confusedly up at her. She almost seemed delirious to Spence, dizzy maybe, and very disoriented. "My darling girlfriend, I want you to fall asleep remembering I'm so deeply in love with you." She softly kissed her cheek. "I love you Ashley Davies, not a drug addict." she kissed her again. "Just Ashley."

"I know. " The rock star whispered as her eyes slowly began to close. "I love you too."

Spencer continued caressing her lover's face. Ashley was obviously under something strong. Spencer had no idea what her mother had given her but it was heavy. It didn't seem like Ashley was aware of her words but she did respond to everything she said. It bothered the blonde how hard her girlfriend was on herself. Ashley was gorgeous to her but to Ashley, she was disgusting and not worthy of anything good. Did her parents make her feel like that? She wondered as her fingers moved over soft skin. It puzzled her how the skin on her face was so perfect. Drug addicts usually had terrible skin, but then again, Ashley wasn't your average middle class drug addict. She was rich and could afford the best skin care products along with the worst drugs.

A sound at the door caught Spencer's attention. She slowly turned her head and met her mother's gaze as she walked into the room carrying a coffee cup. "I brought her some hot chocolate." Paula placed the cup on the night stand as Spencer stood up.

"She fell asleep pretty fast." Spencer commented staring down at Ashley. "Whatever you gave her really worked." She walked over to the computer desk and took a seat. Staring at her mother she added. "Aiden was here earlier today."

"Oh yeah? How's he doing?"

"He's good." Spencer answered briefly. "He invited us over to his place for Christmas. They're having a party."

"You, Ashley, and Denny can go for sure. I'll have to see how Caitlyn feels before I can consider going."

"She's doing a lot better since the transplant."

"Yeah." Paula agreed. "She's recovering a lot faster than I had guessed." She looked over at Ashley. "Her too. It doesn't look like she ripped through a box of grape Popsicles anymore." She looked back over at Spencer who was nodding her head in agreement. "I'm going to get started on dinner. I'll call you two when it's ready."

"Alright. Thank you Mom, love you."

"Love you too sweetie."

Spencer watched her mother leave before getting up to close door. Locking it, she turned around, leaned back against it, and watched Ashley sleep. Her jaw still trembled weakly, it was barely noticeable, Spencer slowly approached the sleeping rock star and knelt down. Her eyes examined every detail of her lover's face. The clear, smooth skin always put her in a state of awe. Ashley was amazingly beautiful to her, no other girl could compare, even her lover's voice was special, making her heart flutter at every whisper near her ear. She ran her finger down her cheek knowing no one would ever replace Ashley. There would be no one else like the woman in her bed in her life. It was impossible. Leaning forward, she placed a lingering kiss on her lover's brow thinking Ashley, and only Ashley, would ever have her heart.

Her vision was blurry, blinking several times, it cleared as her eyes adjusted to the soft lighting in the room. Her heart was pounding in her chest,swallowing hard, she gritted her teeth in frustration as she recovered from another memory. They all effected her mentally. She thought it was fucked up how they randomly invaded her mind, ruining a peaceful sleep. The cocaine was supposed to make her forget, and it did, but what was buried long ago was now being revealed in sunlight. She hated it. She hated thinking about her first time with Mike. It made her sick. She was 15 and ignorant to prove she wouldn't like dick after sleeping with Samantha. Mike had convinced her he could fuck her better than any girl, turn her straight, and make her his. She took up his challenge, snorted cocaine, and went into the back room with him. The thought made her stomach churn, Ashley refused to relive it again. With a sigh, she moved, preparing to get off the bed, and then froze when she noticed the body holding hers. Her body immediately went limp against the warmth caressing her small frame. Spencer's arm lied protectively over her abdomen, Ashley moved her hand over her girlfriend's, stroking the soft perfect skin she found there. A smile crossed her lips the more she relaxed against Spencer, she felt secure and loved, happy, she wanted the feeling to last forever, but she knew better than that. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew it would never last forever. A strong wave of doubt fell over her as she caressed her girlfriend's hand lovingly. How long would things stay perfect? Nothing in her life lasted long, especially the things that made her happy.

Ashley smiled bitterly.

Negativity always wrapped up her thoughts. Even as she laid content in her beautiful lover's arms, she pictured the end of their relationship. Why couldn't she smile and convince herself everything will be okay with her and Spencer? Convince herself that they were going to be together forever? Even if it was a lie, it was still positive, it was still better than picturing the end. But it was also foreign to her. Nothing in her life turned out that great. Absolutely nothing.

Why would Spencer be any different?

Ashley slipped out of bed without waking her slumbering girlfriend. She walked out of the room silently and continued down to the basement. Her mind seemed almost blank as she grabbed her cell phone and flipped it open. She had new text messages and voice mails. The urge to throw the cell phone aside and walk away was strong. Ashley didn't want to hear from anyone outside the safe confines of her new 'home.' It was strange how she beginning to feel at home in her girlfriend's family's house. She hadn't known any of them for that long and yet, she liked them more than her own family.

She almost laughed out loud at the thought. It was far from the truth. Kyla was her family, and only Kyla. Everyone else didn't matter to her. Not even Brenda. Ashley's eyes scanned text message after text message, reading but not really processing the words. She had no reason to care about her mother. Her mother abandoned her without any reason at all. She had no excuses. She lived in a beautiful house, came from a rich family, and would have had her father's child support check for the extra help.

"Fuck her," Ashley spat while listening to her voice messages. She never hated her mother, if anything, she always felt guilty when the older woman entered her thoughts. She felt like a major disappointment around her mother, far from lovable, because of her drug use and sexual appetite. But the guilt was now replaced with rage.

Her mother had always known about the drugs and not once did she care enough to help her. The more she dwelled on it, the angrier she became. Her thoughts paused as Mike's voice floated through her mind. His voice message was short and simple. He invited her to a party and then asked, 'where are you?' Ashley knew partying was completely out of the question. Partying with Mike meant doing drugs and having sex- it wasn't something Spencer would approve of. The rock star closed her phone. Did she want to party with Mike? A part of her craved the carelessness that came with going to a party. Dancing, snorting coke, having sex- it made her feel normal. In a party, she was just another body, to some people, she was a celebrity they wanted to fuck, but that was it. She wasn't even Ashley at these parties, she was just nobody and she loved it. Ashley shook her head and walked out of the room. She would never feel like that again. She had to vow and promise and pray that she'll never slip back into bad habits. The drugs will not only destroy her.

They'd destroy Spencer.

Dinner came and went in a blink of an eye. Ashley watched her plate being taken away by Paula. "You didn't eat very much. Are you sure you're feeling better?" The rock star looked over her shoulder and made eye contact with the older woman. "I feel fine. Thank you Ms. Paula." The older blonde had trouble believing her but decided to let it go and continue on into the kitchen. Ashley had only picked at her food, was quiet during dinner, and had this distant look in her eyes. The older blonde wondered about her family. Why wasn't she spending the holidays with them? She didn't mind Ashley being in their home, she just found it odd that Ashley chose them over her family to spend Christmas with. She didn't want to think of all the possibilities. Especially the one that seemed most likely. She stopped thinking about it, smiled, and headed into the family room where Spencer and Caitlyn set up the board game.

Scrabble had always been one of her favorite games. She knew Arthur and everyone else also enjoyed it. Well, almost everyone. She didn't know how Ashley felt about the game. She looked over at the rock star. She sat next to Denny on the couch talking quietly to him. They paused their conversation as she walked over to them. "So Ashley, are you a fan of scrabble?" She voiced her curiosity.

Ashley looked confused for a second and then caught sight of the game her girlfriend was setting up. Scrabble was the board game they were about to play. She had never heard of it before that night, looking back at Paula, she simply answered, "I've never played it before."

"Oh." Paula answered unexpectedly.

Ashley noticed her surprise. "My Dad wasn't too big on board games."

The older blonde saw the statement as a way into the rock star's personal life. She couldn't deny her curiosity. She wanted to know more about Ashley's family life. "What about your mother-" Paula stopped as Ashley snorted.

"I wouldn't know. I don't know anything about Brenda. Even her birthday is a complete mystery to me."

Spencer looked over at Ashley. Her voice didn't hold any anger, it was quiet and smooth, casual, but Spencer could tell her girlfriend was angry. She sat staring down at her fiddling hands, jaw clenched, shoulders taunt. "The game is ready." She interrupted her mother from speaking. The conversation was obviously bothering her girlfriend. She didn't understand why but figured it had something to do with Brenda. Had Ashley talked to her? She wondered. Her mother was leaving her messages to call her back, did she finally contact her?

"I think I'll skip out." Denny said watching Paula explain the game to Ashley.

The older blonde looked at him. "Denny you're part of this family, why not be part of the game?"

He shrugged. "This game got boring the first thousandth time we've played. Uncle Arthur doesn't have to sit through it, why do I?"

Spencer looked at her mother. "Dad's not playing?" She asked curiously. Her father had been quiet during dinner, him and Ashley were both in their own worlds, the blonde couldn't help but worry about them. "He's the one who enforces these family fun nights."

"Your father is just tired." Paula answered convincingly knowing Arthur was still reeling from their earlier conversation. She looked back over at Denny. "Come on and get set up we're about to start."

"Come on Denny!" Caitlyn pushed when her brother refused to move. "Play with us!"

Denny chuckled and moved with an eye roll. "Fine. But that doesn't mean I'm going to have fun."

"You're playing Scramble with Ashley Davies." Spencer reminded playfully. "It's bound to ooze fun."

Ashley met Spencer's gaze and forced a smile. "Yeah, you'll all have fun making fun of the newbie."

The game started and Ashley quickly caught on to the rules. The game was surprisingly easy and fun. Ashley sat on the couch next to Denny, the game was set up on the coffee table, Paula sat on the other couch across from Ashley while Spencer and Caitlyn sat on their knees on the floor. Laughs quickly filled the room as the atmosphere became fun and playful. In the end, Paula won due to her doctor vocabulary. The rock star didn't know half of the words she used but assumed they existed. After helping Spencer pack the game up, everyone began saying their good nights. Ashley watched Paula give both Denny and Spencer kisses on their cheeks and was surprised when the older blonde leaned in and gave her one too. Spencer quickly followed, whispering a good night, she kissed the opposite cheek and followed her mother and cousin upstairs.

"It's just me and you now." Denny said playfully watching Ashley turn her attention toward him. "Let's have a penetration party!"

Ashley grinned. "Only if I can do the penetrating."

The two headed toward the basement with silly grins on their faces. Ashley was beginning to love Denny's company. He always seemed to put her in a good mood with his weird jokes and wide smiles. He was different than most of her other guy friends. She could have a good time with him sober, he didn't think of her sexually, and they were both gay and into guitars. "You can penetrate me anytime Ashley Davies." Stepping off the last step he turned and met her gaze. "Are you tired yet?"

The rock star nodded. "Pretty tired."

"How?!" The boy asked loudly. "All you and Spencer do is sleep! You two remind me of ferrets. Just sleeping all the time."

Ashley chuckled. "What the hell are ferrets?"

"Cute rat, cat, dog looking things." He answered with his own chuckle. "Why do you two sleep so much?" He asked getting back on subject. "And are you two really sleeping when you guys sleep?" He pushed suggestively.

"What else would we be doing?" Ashley answered with a question of her own.

"You want some hand gestures?" He asked making a 'V' with his two fingers.

"That's quite alright." Ashley answered and then became serious. "All we do is sleep Denny. You have no idea how tiring touring is." Especially when you're doing drugs and never sleeping.

"I would love to have an idea." He quickly replied. "You know I want more than anything to experience that. Playing my music all over the country, hell, maybe even all over the world. I want that more than anything Ashley."

Ashley could see and hear the determination in his voice. She never felt the same way about being a rock star. If anything, she wished she had lived her sister's or Denny's life. A normal life. "I know you do Denny. Just don't give up, don't do drugs, and graduate. We'll see what happens when you finish school."

"That's fair." He replied brightly. "You need to hear me and the guys play sometime. I think you'll be proud."

"You've been able to impress me so far. I'm more than willing to listen to your band play."

"Awesome. We'll have to set up a play date when I'm not grounded anymore."

"You don't have any CD's?" She asked curiously.

The brown haired teen nodded. "Yeah but I want you to hear the real, raw, live stuff first."

"Sounds great." She replied with a yawn. "Is this the part where I lean in, kiss your cheek and say good night?"

Denny laughed. "I'll settle for a hug."

Ashley easily complied and hugged the taller boy. "Good night Denny." She said while letting go of him.

"Night Ashley."

Spencer quietly opened the door, slipped inside the room, and then closed it behind her. There was a tiny window at the top of one of the walls, the sunlight strained to fill the room with its essence, gray eyes fell on the bed. Ashley's body was hidden under a thick, white comforter, and only strands of hair could be seen peeking out from underneath. Spencer walked over to her sleeping lover and moved on to the mattress. It was very early in the morning, around 6 or 7, and the second the sun awoke, her eyes had shot open, the urge to be with girlfriend drowned her thoughts, urged her out of bed, and guided her down to the basement, to her rock star.

Grasping the edge of the comforter, the blonde eased herself underneath it and slowly moved closer to her sleeping girlfriend. Spencer wasn't surprised to find her girlfriend sleeping nude, it was more of a shock to find her sleeping with clothes. The rock star slept facing her, reaching out, Spencer began lightly stroking the skin on her face, running her index finger down her smooth cheek, it wasn't long before brown eyes greeted her. "Hey," Spencer whispered as her hand continued caressing her face.

Ashley didn't say a word as her hand rose up to her face, covering her girlfriend's, it moved down. Her tanned hand took hold of her wrist, thumb briefly stroking the smooth skin, Ashley watched the curiosity and wonder fall over her girlfriend's face. A ghost of a smile kissed her lips, she sensually moved forward pinning her girlfriend's hand next to her smiling face, she hovered over her, letting her forehead fall to meet Spencer's. "Hey." She whispered back allowing their breaths to mingle. Their eyes stayed locked, Ashley brought her lips to brush against her love's, sampling a brief kiss. "Did you sleep well?" She asked freeing her lover's wrist.

"It could have been better." She moved up and captured Ashley's lips, her hands sliding down her back, exploring the warm skin they found there.

"How could it have been better?" She breathed between kisses. The feel of Spencer's breasts against her own was driving her crazy, the hands on her back increasing her arousal, she kissed down her neck, placing her thigh firmly between her girlfriend's legs.

Spencer gasped unexpectedly at the contact. "You could have been sleeping next to me," Her hips began to slowly rock against her lover, "But I wouldn't have gotten any sleep, would I?"

"Do you really have to ask?" Ashley smirked before moving up to take her lips again. The kiss was passionate, fast, and only intensified when the rock star's tongue entered her girlfriend's mouth. Their tongues danced sensually against each other as Ashley's hand began kneading Spencer's breast through her shirt. Spencer moaned into the kiss feeling her nipple harden against her lover's hand, thankful she decided to sleep without a bra the night before.

"I want it off," The words were ragged, spoken against moist lips, Ashley's eyes open as she grasped the hem of her girlfriend's night shirt. The thin white hello kitty tank top was eased off her girlfriend with little effort. Throwing it aside, brown eyes focused on the marvelous body beneath their gaze. Her hand reached out and began skimming the perfect fair skin, Ashley watched gray eyes flutter shut as her fingertips slid across an aroused nipple. "Gorgeous," She whispered dipping her head. Using her teeth, tongue and lips, she tasted and nibbled her way down the sleek expanse. Nipping lightly at the hollow of her throat, she moved down and hovered over her other nipple. Looking up, she began teasing the hardened bud with her tongue, lightly flicking it while her fingers continued to caress the other.

Spencer's hands roamed over her warm tanned back as her body arched, offering more of her breasts to the rock star. All the attention on her body was driving her mad with arousal. The pounding between her legs was all she could think of as her hips began moving more fervently against her girlfriend. "You feel wonderful, my love." Ashley breathed near her ear, "I love you so much." She added kissing the skin beneath her ear. The rock star continued kissing down her jaw feeling her lover's hands lower. They ran over her bottom and stopped at the top of her thigh, pulling her closer to her aching need, Ashley kissed her a final time and then looked into her flushed face. Gray eyes were tightly shut, swollen lips parted, her breaths came in quick quiet pants, Ashley began moving harder against her lover, feeling her wetness coat her skin. "Look at me, love." Gray eyes fluttered open, passion and desire pooled deeply in hooded gray eyes, mirroring Ashley's brown. "God I love you so much," She rasped bringing both her legs to settle between Spencer's. The rock star urged the blonde's legs wider, their wet mounds coming into contact, Ashley gasped as her lover began slowly moving against her, closing her eyes, she began moving back, nearing the edge.

"Open your eyes Ashley." The rock star did so and met dark gray orbs. There was a small subtle smile on her lover's lips as they began moving faster. Ashley leaned forward and took her lover's smile, kissing her deeply, she moved one of her hands down and parted her and then her lover's lips, causing their clits to make direct contact. "God Ashley," Spencer moaned arching her back into her lover's quick, blissful thrusts. Ashley groaned deeply as she felt her orgasm near, "Cum with me, Baby, God, cum with me." She panted staring deeply into her lover' eyes.

The intensity of her gaze and her raw, ragged voice immediately pushed the blonde over the edge. Closing her eyes, she screamed her lover's name as wave after wave of bliss washed over her. Moments that seemed like years to the teens passed before they were both nothing more than a pile of exhausted, limp limbs. Ashley's head tiredly fell on her lover's chest as she continued lightly panting. It wasn't long before she felt her lover's hand playing in her damp hair. "Tomorrow's Christmas, Baby." The blonde softly stated fingering her lover's auburn hair. "Aiden invited us to his mother's house for Christmas. They're having a party."

"Mmm," Ashley hummed sleepily. "What kind of parties does Aiden throw?" She asked yawning.

"There all pretty casual. His last Christmas party was fun. It's a fun mix of teens, adults and children. Music playing, friends hanging out. His mother lives in a pretty big house on a pretty big farm so it won't be crowded. We'll have fun."

Ashley didn't give it much thought. Aiden's parties were most likely clean- no drugs, no whores, no Mike- it wouldn't be an issue for her. Plus, Spencer would be at her side. She was looking forward to it. "Sounds good. Can't wait."

Denny walked inside the kitchen and wasn't surprised to see Spencer and Ashley missing from the kitchen table. He looked at the clock and wondered how the two girls could sleep so late. It was near noon and the girls had yet to make an appearance. "What are we eating?" He asked curiously taking a seat across from Arthur. His little sister sat next to him chewing on a slice of pizza. His face lit up. "Alright, pizza. Where'd you get it from?" He asked shooting up from his seat to get his own slice.

"The freezer." Paula chuckled walking to the table with her own slice.

The disappointment on Denny's face was noticeable as he got his own slice. "Yum. I just love frozen pizza." His voice was all sarcasm, Arthur responded with his own sarcasm. "Maybe you can use your magical powers to get someone to come out here in this weather with a nice, newly baked pizza."

The boy smiled evilly. "Don't worry, I'll have that ability sooner or later." He took a bite out of his pizza. "Who can turn down America's next big thing?"

"America's next big thing?" Arthur wondered out loud meeting his gaze. "What do you mean by that?"

"What I mean is, my days of frozen pizza will soon be replaced with better day. Days filled with hot, fresh, Dominoes pizza." He took another bite. "I'll be the next big thing. Me and the guys."

Arthur laughed. "You and the guys? You're not actually going to try and make a career out of music, are you?" Denny nodded staring at his uncle. "Oh God Denny, what kind of future is that?" He asked harshly. "I thought we were sending you to law school?"

"I never said I wanted to do that!" The tall boy argued. "I want to write and play music for a living. What's so wrong with that?"

"Everything!" Arthur answered loudly with Ashley on his mind. The teenage girl didn't represent anything good. His fist clenched unconsciously at the thought of the rock star corrupting his children's mind. First Spencer, now Denny?! He was beginning to regret allowing Ashley to stay in his home. The girl was nice, polite, and an amazing cook, but that didn't matter. She was also full of sin. "Denny that lifestyle is not for you."

"What do you mean not for me? It's what I want to do!" He yelled.

"Enough you two!" Paula cut in watching the girls walk into the kitchen. They both had very confused expressions on their faces. Arthur looked at Ashley and then Spencer. They were both freshly showered and dressed. He looked away not wanting to wonder if they had showered together or not. The obvious answer was yes.

"I'm going over to Billy's." He stood up from the table and ignored everyone as he walked out of the room.

The silence that followed was thick and awkward.

"What was that about?" Spencer asked shattering the silence. No one in the room looked happy, even Caitlyn's small young face seemed disrupted. The blonde looked at her mother for answers.

"Your father's just going through something right now." She explained poorly. The explanation wasn't enough for Spencer. She knew something serious was wrong. "Well, what is he going through?" She questioned further. Her mother sighed. "I don't know, Spencer. I just don't know." She lied standing from her seat. "Lets go watch some Dora, Honey." she told a now very excited Caitlyn."YAY Dora!" The little girl yelled following her mother out the kitchen.

"Man, there is something seriously wrong that guy." Denny commented sourly. "I can't believe he actually wants to send me to law school! What the hell is up with that?"

"Is that the conversation we were walking in on?" Spencer asked wanting answers.

The tall teenager threw his plate in the trash and then turned to look at his cousin. "You walked in on Uncle Arthur telling me to go to law school instead of pursuing my dream." He laughed bitterly. "I don't get it. He's letting you do it! Why can't I?"

Spencer sighed. "It wasn't easy convincing him to let me go, Den. It took a lot of pleading and begging from both Mom and Dad. If Aiden weren't on the same tour they wouldn't have let me gone. Just stay strong, I'm sure Dad will warm up to the idea."

"Yeah I hope so." He ran a hand through his long hair. "Are you guys just getting up?" He asked changing the subject.

"Well, no," Spencer answered moving towards the pizza on the counter. "We showered first."

Denny's wide eyes found Ashley's. The rock star smirked and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. He shook his head in disbelief. "I didn't hear the upstairs shower going. Did you guys take one together?" He looked at his cousin. The blonde faced him with a slice of pizza in her hands. "Yeah, no big deal. Girls shower together all the time." She blew out casually feeling the beginnings of a blush paint her cheeks. Images of her and Ashley in the shower together played in her mind. She remembered the rock star's hands and mouth on her body. How she pinned her up against the cold tile wall- "Spencer?" The blonde's eyes snapped up and met her girlfriend's amused gaze. "You completely zoned out." The rock star grinned. "Where'd you go?" Spencer looked over and met her cousin's expecting gaze. He stood next to Ashley waiting for her to answer. "I didn't go anywhere. I was just thinking." She moved away from the two and took a seat at the table. Spencer began eating her pizza, chewing a small amount, she looked at Ashley. "Grab a slice and come join me." She playfully requested. "I could use some company."

"Right, because you're soooo lacking Ashley's attention." Denny teased. "Was seeing her naked, wet, and soapy not enough company for you?" He laughed. "Any closer and you two will be scizzoring."

"Wouldn't be the first time." The rock star mumbled walking past the tall teen.

"What?!" He exclaimed staring at her retreating form.

Ashley took a seat at the table with a small smile. Her eyes fell on the blonde sitting next to her. Her gray eyes were casted down at her plate as she blushed furiously. Brown eyes moved and fell on Denny's shocked face. "What did you just say?" He asked with curiosity lacing his deep voice. The rock star shrugged and mocked confusion. "I have no idea what you're talking about." Ashley looked at her food, reaching out to grab the small slice of pizza, she stopped when she heard her cell phone go off.

"Who is it?" Denny asked watching the rock star flip open her cell phone.

"I don't know." The rock star answered standing. She immediately walked out of the room and out the front door. "Hello?"

The tall teenager turned his head. "Who was that?"

Spencer looked at him. "I don't know." She continued eating. The urge to stand up and follow her lover was strong. She had a feeling the phone call didn't mean anything good. The look on her lover's face said it all. She wondered if the call had anything to do with Pops. Was he...dead?

"Spencer." She looked up at her cousin again. "You completely zoned out." He grinned at his impression of Ashley. It slowly died when he noticed the sober look on her face. "Hey, what's wrong?" As if reading her mind, he added, "You don't think it's about her Dad, do you?"

"It could be about anything." She reminded herself and Denny. "I pray to god it's not that phone call."

"Will that phone call kill Ashley?" He asked with all seriousness.

Spencer thought deeply about the question. She had thought about it before, asked herself the same thing more than once. How would Pops' death affect Ashley? Would it bother her at all? Surely it would impact her somehow, the blonde just didn't know how. And then there was herself. She knew Pops' death would make her incredibly sad, she didn't want him to die, in fact, she wanted more than anything to hop on a plane and hold the older man's hand. "I can't answer that." She replied honestly. "But it'll kill me."

Her knuckles were white from the grip she had on the phone. All the muscles in her thin frame tense, the blood running through her veins boiling, her jaw locked as the voice invaded her mind, going on and on, rambling about the one person she hated the most. Pops. What nerve the woman had calling and assuming she cared anything about the old man, about her father's sickness. The words flying out of her sobbing mouth hardly registered in her mind, the only thing she was aware of was the pounding in her chest, the anger increasing her blood pressure, the adrenaline she felt from it all. "Ashley, Baby you have to see him. You just have to-"

"I don't have to do a fucking thing you tell me to do." She snarled cutting off her mother. It was the second thing she had said after a very timid hello. The urge to ignore another one of her mother's calls was strong, but she ignored it and decided to see what the bitch wanted. A feral grin painted her lips. "How does that sound coming from your 'Baby?' I'm surprised you're even crying for the bastard. You should be happy. You get a cut of the life insurance."

She was met with silence, her words having put her mother in a state of shock, stopping the tears from flowing. "H-how- Ashley we need to talk."

"I don't want to talk to you." The rock star replied harshly. "You've had plenty of time to talk to me." She bitterly reminded. "It's too late now." Stepping off the porch, she added, "I don't think I can tolerate your voice anymore, or your presence. In fact, I never want to see you again."

"What did I do wrong?" Brenda desperately demanded. "I'm just trying-"

"Trying? Trying to what? God you fucking bitch you never tried to do anything with me!" Her self control was slowly slipping away, consumed by anger. "You were never there for me! Not even when I was snorting cocaine every night and fucking every whore I came across! You never offered to do anything! Why weren't you there for me?! Why weren't you ever fucking there for me?!" Her voice cracked, arm began to tremble, breathing quicken- she was beyond angry. "Answer me!" She demanded furiously.

"I thought you were in good hands." Her mother answered helplessly, the sadness evident in her voice.

Standing in the middle of the cold, snowy, lawn, Ashley let her head fall back, face tilted up toward the sky, she took a deep, shaky breath. "The last 3 years Brenda, since I was 15 years old. That's been my life. Cocaine, sex, and depression. You never once tried to help me, not only did you ignore me, but you fucking banned me from your life for it. Instead of wanting to help me, your 'Baby,' you ignored me-"

"Ashley-"

"No!" She quickly cut her off, her voice losing its calmness once again. "I hate the sound of your voice, just shut the fuck up and listen to me. I haven't done anything in over two weeks, I've had a lot of time to think with my new sober mind. I used to feel guilty, disgusting, and worthless around you because of the drugs. But I'm fucking done feeling guilty. I want you to go through that hell. There was no reason for you to give me up to Dad, not one fucking reason and you did it anyway. Just gave me up. And look at me now. I'm a total fuck up and you've never cared enough to help me through anything. I hate your fucking guts and don't expect a visit from me when it's your turn on the hospital bed." She laughed bitterly. "You really think I'm going to go see that mother fucker?! You think I give a fuck that he's dying?! I could careless." Her eyes opened. "Give Kyla my love." She murmured before closing the phone.

Her eyes burned from the strain of keeping them open and focusing on her fast moving fingers. She watched them move over the thin, silver strings, the glorious music filling the room deaf to her ears. She couldn't hear anything, her mind was completely blank, even the pain in her arms were nothing more than a numb sensation. She couldn't feel anything as she sat on the bed in the basement playing her guitar. Two hours earlier, after getting off the phone with her mother, she felt raw and alive, her anger was still there, but she felt more satisfied than anything else. Walking into the kitchen, she stood near the doorway and briefly talked to Spencer and Denny. Reassuring them she was okay, lying about the phone call, and then quickly leaving. She needed to do something with the emotions she was feeling. All she could think about standing in the kitchen with her beautiful girlfriend, staring into her gorgeous gray eyes, lying to her face, was fucking her. Ashley closed her eyes tightly, feeling them burn, she began to play harder. The thought scared her. She wanted more than anything to lead Spencer into the bedroom, throw her on the bed, tear off her clothes and fuck her senseless.

"You've been playing for over an hour."

The rock star looked up, her fingers never pausing, she met her lover's gray eyes. "You've been watching me for over an hour. You enjoying the show?" Spencer lied with her head on the foot of the bed, her feet near the headboard watching her girlfriend. Ashley sat next to her against the headboard with a black acoustic guitar on her lap. There was something different about her, Spencer realized. She seemed almost tense, her eyes looking for trouble, her voice sarcastic- Spencer didn't know what to think.

"You seem upset-"

"Then come over her and make me feel better." She challenged coldly.

The change in attitude took Spencer by surprise and then there were those brown eyes hypnotizing her. She could see how much Ashley wanted her, it was so clearly visible in her gaze, in her voice- Spencer sat up and moved to her. The rock star's fingers slowed and then stopped. Spencer reached out, gently cupped her face, and closed her eyes. Her face slowly moved forward, her lips touching Ashley's. The kiss was slow and tender at first, their lips lightly brushing against each other, and then Ashley smoothly removed the guitar off her lap, blindly placing it on the ground. Her hand shot up to Spencer's face, stroking the fair skin, she deepened the kiss. Her tongue pushed passed supple lips, desperation expressed as they kissed harder. Finally, they broke apart, opening their eyes, "Do you feel better?"

"No." Ashley answered moving forward to take her lips again. She eased the blonde on her back and then covered her body with her own, their mouths moving more eagerly as tongues danced and breasts pressed together. Spencer savored the pleasure she was receiving from her lover but there was something keeping her from fully giving into it. There was something bothering Ashley, and the thought bothered her. She wanted more than anything to get inside the rock star's head. "Baby," She breathed turning her head away from persistent lips. Ashley ignored the plea and continued down her neck, her hand taking hold of her left breast. "Ashley." She tried again wrapping her hand around her wrist. The rock star paused and then looked up at her with annoyance. "What's wrong, Baby? Please tell me."

The left side of her lips tilted up in a small, half smile. Ashley moved up, placing her hands on each side of Spencer's head, she mounted one of her lover's thigh and firmly placed one of hers against her sex. "You're right," She lowered herself, "There is a problem." She softly kissed Spencer's lips, "You," She kissed her chin and then cheek. "Your mouth," She moved to her ear, "It's keeping you from enjoying me." She sucked lightly on a fleshly lobe as her hips began moving, seductively teasing Spencer. "Don't think," She whispered, "Just feel."

"Ash-" Her mouth stopped moving as she watched Ashley sit up. Still straddling her thigh, the rock star reached down, grabbing the hem of her shirt, she removed it in one quick motion. Her head fell back as she reached up and cupped her breasts, playing with her nipples through her bra. Spencer lied motionless watching her touch herself while her hips continued moving against her thigh. The blonde couldn't deny the sexy scene was arousing her to no end. Her concern with Ashley was soon forgotten as desire corrupted her thinking. Reaching out, she ran her fingertips over Ashley's hip bones and down to the button of her jeans. Undoing them with one hand, she sat up and unclasped her bra with the other.

The rock star helped remove the bra and then cupped the side of Spencer's face. The kiss was hard and passionate as hands began to wonder over various body parts. The blonde's hand hovered over an aroused dark nipple, Ashley whimpered as she felt her nipple between two fingers, she moved away from the kiss and placed her mouth on Spencer's shoulder, gently biting while feeling her lover pinch and pull at the hardened bud. "Take it off." She breathed against her ear pulling at the material of her shirt. Ashley moved off Spencer and helped removed her shirt and bra, her mouth found her lover's again as she unbuttoned her jeans and pulled down the zipper. "I want you so bad, Spence." She huskily confessed as her hooded eyes gazed into gray, her hand slipping in the front of her jeans, into her underwear, teasing a very sensitive clit. Their lips brushed against each other as Spencer gasped and panted, their warm breaths mingling. The two girls sat on their knees, Ashley kissed her lover's cheek and then moved down her neck, biting and kissing along the smooth expanse as her hand moved faster against her lover's wet sex. "Ashley, Ashley, Ashley," Was all her lover could chant as she nibbled down to her nipple and played with her pussy. "Baby, Baby-" The blonde pleaded on the edge of an orgasm and feeling her lover's hand leave her.

The rock star kissed her hard urging her on her back, she quickly removed her jeans and panties, then settled herself between her open legs, thrusting her hips against her wetness. "Ashley," She whimpered turning her head away from her lips. The rock star kissed her face several times as her hips began moving faster against her, "Baby," Spencer pleaded placing her hands on her body to stop her, the sensation becoming to much for her take. The rock grabbed her wrist and pinned her hand up above her head enjoying the sound of her lover's loud pleasureful moans and breathless pants. Burying her face in Spencer's flustered neck, she began sucking on the skin closest to her mouth, pumping faster and harder against her. "Ashley!" The blonde cried out as she arched her back and came, her body quivering all over as Ashley continued to thrust against her sopping pussy, her lips kissing and sucking on her neck. With three slow, sensual thrusts, she stopped and lifted her head. Spencer's face was red, damp, and her breathing quick as she tried to catch her breath. Tremors continued to wrack her body as her eyes stayed closed. Ashley kissed one side of her face lovingly while she released her lover's wrist and brought her hand down to caress the other. "Did you like that?" The hand on her lover's face slowly began to move down a flushed neck, over a taunt nipple, down a smooth abdomen, and into blonde damp hair. "You're so wet." Ashley moaned in her ear as her fingers stroked up and down her slick lips. "I need to taste you." She added moving off her girlfriend. Ashley quickly removed the rest of her clothing, moving forward, she took Spencer's lips in a brief kiss before running her lips down her jaw and neck.

Spencer weakly propped herself up on her elbows and looked down, watching the rock star kiss and suck down her body. The scene was very erotic and had major effects on her throbbing center. She moved her hand down and began stroking Ashley's hair as she teased her inner thighs with her lips; kissing, sucking, and licking the sensitive skin. "Oh God," She gasped throwing her head back as she felt her lover's tongue brush against her clit.

The rock star looked up watching the quick rise and fall of Spencer's chest as her mouth invaded more of her wetness. The blonde began moving eagerly against her tongue as she ran it up and down her slit, sucking briefly on her labia, she sat up and placed her hand over her sex, running circles over clit. "You taste so good, love." She began moving her hand faster enjoying Spencer's cries and whimpers. "I could lick you all day." She moved up her lover's body and kissed her hard. "You're too loud though." She murmured lifting her hand. "Baby, please. Don't stop, please-" Ashley silenced her with another kiss. "Don't worry, you'll come. I'll make you come my love. But first, taste yourself." Ashley gently eased her two fingers into her lover's mouth, feeling her tongue swirl all around them, she could tell the blonde loved it by the look on her face, "Good, isn't it?" She didn't wait for the blonde to answer before replacing her fingers with her lips. They kissed passionately, nearly bruising the other's lips as their tongues came together and danced. "Oh God!" Spencer moaned against Ashley's lips as she felt her lover enter her with two fingers.

"Mmm, you feel soo good," Ashley moaned into her mouth. "Nice and tight." She added as her lover shuddered under her and velvet walls tightened around her slender fingers. "I love seeing you like this, I love hearing you say my name so breathlessly. You make me so hot." She panted in her ear as Spencer began desperately meeting her thrusts.

"Oh...God...Ashley." She gasped feeling the rock star's thumb on her clit. Ashley kissed and sucked the skin on her neck as her finger brought her lover closer to the edge, she gently bit down when she felt her lover raise her thigh against her throbbing need, rubbing it. "Ashley," Spencer moaned feeling her love's wetness against her thigh. "You feel good, Baby. Soooo good."

"Fuck!" Ashley groaned deeply moving against the thigh between her legs, she began sucking hard on her lovers neck to keep from crying out while moving her wet fingers in and out of her lover, her thumb moving quickly over a hard, sensitive nub. "Ashley...Ashley...Ashley..." Her lover panted as her fingers rubbed a sensitive clit between quivering thighs and thrashing hips. "Spencer!" The rock star cried out when she felt the blonde replace her thigh with her hand, furiously rubbing her clit. "Oh fuck, Spencer," She moaned against her neck on the brink of an orgasm.

The room was filled with the scent of their sex, the loud cries of each other's name, and their fast shallow breathing. The blonde placed her free hand on her lover's back and impaled her fingernails into her tanned damp skin as she cried out," Ashley!" Feeling wave after wave of a powerful orgasm consume her. Ashley quickly followed screaming out Spencer's name as her orgasm overtook her body, causing every muscle in her body to freeze until she collapsed against her lover quivering. Spencer immediately held her tightly against her as they laid spent. Her eyes stayed closed as she felt Ashley place light lazy kisses on her neck. "I love you, Ashley." She murmured running her hands up and down her back.

The rock star lifted her head and captured her lips in a slow deep kiss. "I love you, too." She whispered opening her eyes and meeting her lover's honest gray orbs. "Tell me what's wrong," The blonde cupped one side of Ashley's face and began wiping away the lazy tears spilling from her eyes. The rock star closed her eyes and buried her face in Spencer's neck, her tears continuing to silently fall. "I don't want to talk about it right now." She mumbled against her skin. "Not ever." She mouthed to herself. "Then we won't talk," Spencer gently reassured stroking her damp hair as she cried quietly against her. Her comfort soon lured Ashley's into a deep, tiring sleep. The same could not be said for her. She stayed up thinking about the woman in her arms, wondering what her problem could be. She listed all the possibilities and sighed when she realized how long the list was. Deciding to just be patient, she fell asleep praying Ashley would want to talk soon.

A knock on the door awoke the two slumbering teens. Ashley groggily moved off her girlfriend and collasped face first onto a nearby pilllow. "Yeah?!" Spencer called out half asleep. She was not ready to be awake again. Her whole body was exhausted, including her mind. "You coming to Dinner?" Denny asked on the other side of the door. "I can't believe you guys are actually sleeping again." She heard him mutter under his breath. "Mmm," Spencer groaned realizing how long they were in the basement. She could only imagine what her parents thought they were doing. "We'll be there in a sec." She replied yawning. She heard Denny walk away and then sat up. Turning her head, she gazed down at her sleeping girlfriend. The rock star slept on her stomach with her head facing away from her. "Ashley, Baby you need to wake up." She quietly said fingering the pink scratches on her back. They were right under her shoulder blade, Spencer leaned forward and placed light kisses over them. "Mmm," She heard the rock star hum. "Wake up, love." She whispered in her ear. "My parents are going to start wondering about us. We spend a lot of time down here."

"Are you complaining?" The rock star mumbled rolling over on her back and stretching her body. The blonde sat on her knees watching her completely naked body arch. She decided it was a good time to get off the bed before she pounced on her girlfriend. Ashley sat up against the head board and watched her. She internally cursed when she noticed the marks staining the light skin on her neck. "You might want to start practicing my hair straightener explanation."

The blonde looked up at her with a playful glare. "You're lucky I love you, Ashley Davies." She began picking up her discarded clothes off the floor. The pieces were scattered all over. "I would forbid Aiden from putting his mouth on my neck when we were dating."

Ashley smirked. "Are you saying I'm special?"

Spencer began tossing articles of clothing her way. "Yes, and I love you more."

"Prove it." Ashley playfully replied wanting one more taste of her before they left.

"I don't think so." Spencer quickly began putting her clothes on. "I have to make an emergency trip to my room and cover up your love marks."

Ashley was slightly disappointed. "You can prove it to me later than."

Spencer playfully rolled her eyes and headed towards the door. "Get dressed." She blew her a kiss and then walked out the room.

The dinner table was anything but enjoyable. Ashley observed everyone with a mixture of curiosity and worry. Denny sat across from her, listening to his Zune while shoveling small fork fulls of spaghetti into his mouth. On Denny's left was Caitlyn. The little girl ate silently and was uncharacteristically reserved, the rock star could tell there was something on her young mind. At the head of the table was Paula who mostly stared at her food and moved it around her plate. She looked at Spencer who seemed to be observing everyone as well. Both the blonde's hands were under the table, Ashley reached under for one and clasped their hands together. Spencer looked at her and smiled briefly resting their hands on her thigh. The spell was broken by the sound of the front door opening and closing. Everyone but Denny looked at the doorway. Arthur walked in not really meeting anyone's gaze. "Hey, everyone." He said out loud grabbing a plate of spaghetti. Ashley looked at Paula and noticed the hard look she was giving him.

"Why are you late for dinner?" She casually asked hiding any trace of anger in her voice. But Ashley could tell the older woman was fuming.

He shrugged. "I guess I just lost track of time." He grabbed a fork and headed towards the other room.

"Where are you going?!" Paula asked watching him stop at the doorway.

"Living room. There's a game on." The older man continued walking ignoring the disapproval on his wife's face.

She sighed and then looked closely at Denny. "Denis what are you doing?!" Caitlyn patted her brother's upper arm.

The taller boy looked around and was directed to his aunt's outraged face. He took out his ear buds. "Yeah?"

"You know I don't allow those things at the dinner table."

"Sorry." He turned it off and placed it on the table. "It's not like I was missing out anything."

"You missed out on Dad acting like a complete ass." Spencer boldly replied and then regretted it when she noticed Caitlyn's small face looking at her. "I'm sorry, Babe. I didn't mean to say that."

"Yes you did." Denny retorted. "What is up with this family and constantly watching what they say. Words are words."

"I don't appreciate foul language." Paula answered sternly. "It makes a person look ugly."

"So you're saying Spencer looked ugly just now?"

Spencer threw a meatball and then laughed when it splattered all over his face. "Ew." He immediately exclaimed with his sister laughing hysterically next to him.

Ashley also began chuckling finding Caitlyn's laughs contagious.

"Spencer!" Paula scolded.

"He asked for it, Mom." Spencer stuck her tongue out at the glaring boy.

"I'm going to get you back." He threatened laughing. "This is so nasty. May I be excused?"

Paula agreed and watched the tall boy stand up and leave. She found herself laughing as well. "I think he needed that."

"He did seem more polite." Spencer observed.

"Well, feel free to use that technique on your father." She sighed. "It would do him some good."

"We can throw food at Daddy?!" Caitlyn asked excitedly.

"Yep." Spencer answered brightly.

"No." Paula laughed looking at the smallest blonde. "We can't throw food at Daddy. Your sister is just crazy."

"Aww man." Caitlyn picked up her fork and continued eating. "It looks like fun."

"It is fun." Spencer encouraged. "In fact, next time you see Denny you should do it too."

"Spencer, stop it." Paula looked at Caitlyn . "Don't listen to her." The older blonde pushed her chair back and picked up her plate. She paused a moment and stared at her girls. "You know we have tons of ice cream. How about you girls join me upstairs and we can all hangout and watch a movie."

"YAY ice cream!" Caitlyn immediately screamed. She looked at Ashley. "Do you wanna Ashley, huh, do you wanna?!"

"Sure." The rock star replied smiling. "How could I pass up ice cream and movie night with Caitlyn?"

The master bedroom, like all the other rooms in the house, was nicely decorated and very organized. A king sized bed occupied the space in the middle of the room with a headboard that matched a massive dresser and vanity table. Ashley walked In holding Caitlyn's hand and then watched the little blonde run and jump on the bed the second her hand was released. She smiled as she began jumping up and down on the expensive looking comforter. "What movie are we watching, guys?" Spencer asked walking past Ashley and stopping in front of the entertainment system. She opened a drawer full of rows and rows of DVD's. "Come see." She beckoned Ashley and urged her to look with her. "How about this?" She held up a movie with Jack Black on the cover, the rock star shook her head having seen the movie a million times. And then she looked at Spencer. "Unless you really want to see it I don't mind." The blonde also shook her head putting it back. "I've seen too many times already."

"Ice cream! Ice cream!" Both teens turned their heads and watched Paula walk inside with a tray full of bowls of ice cream.

"What are we watching, Mom?" Spencer asked while Ashley continued browsing.

The older blonde set the tray on the end table and then walked over to where Ashley and Spencer stood. "I know what you girl's will like." She closed the drawer and turned on the TV. "It's already in the DVD player." She explained while finding the right channel.

"Ohhh, mystery movie." Spencer chuckled while grabbing a bowl off the tray. "Better make it good, Mom." She handed Ashley another bowl full of Vanilla ice cream. She looked down at her strawberry and began eating it. "Mmm," She hummed her delight savoring the taste. "It's really good." She scooped up another spoon full and turned to her girlfriend. The rock star was standing next to her eating her own ice cream, Spencer smiled at the small amount of vanilla staining the corner of her lips. She unconsciously reached up and wiped it off with her thumb. "Try this." She grabbed the spoon again and brought the strawberry ice cream up to her girlfriend's mouth. Ashley easily accepted it and nodded her head in approval. "Yummy," She grinned and scooped up a spoonful of vanilla for her girlfriend, feeding it to her, she timidly removed the spoon from her mouth and placed it back in her bowl. She could feel Paula's eyes on her as the older blonde walked towards them.

"It's a good thing I got both flavors." Paula teased grabbing the bowl with both vanilla and strawberry ice cream inside. "It looks like you two really enjoy them."

Ashley looked up and saw the smile on her face, she eased up a bit. "Ashley can you give me mine please?" Caitlyn asked sitting on the far end of the bed. The rock star grabbed the last bowl on the tray and brought it over to the little blonde. "Aren't you a lucky girl?" She smiled handing her the bowl. "You got chocolate and strawberry."

Two pairs of identical gray eyes watched Ashley and Caitlyn interact. Spencer found it completely adorable how good Ashley was with children. Or at least Caitlyn. Standing near the left side of the bed, she watched her girlfriend laugh along and play with Caitlyn, obviously enjoying it. She thought back to her relatives who would force themselves to get along with Caitlyn, or even their own little children, not really interested in what they had to say. But Ashley wasn't like that at all. She enjoyed interacting with the small blonde. "She's really good with her." Startled, Spencer's eyes snapped over to her mother's face. The older blonde stood next to her with the DVD remote in her hand. She had this strange, almost surprised, fascinated look on her face. "I've never seen you stare at someone like that."

Spencer stood speechless, caught off guard. The expression on her mother's face freaked her out. She seemed so captivated, enthralled. The blonde had no idea what it meant, what her mother was searching for as she gazed into her eyes. "Like...what?" She finally got out. The noise in the room was gone. Spencer moved her gaze and focused on Ashley's curious expression. She watched her brown eyes move from her to her mother and then back to her.

"Nevermind." She looked back at Paula. Her mother smiled and then wrapped one of her arms around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head, she released her and then moved back over to the bed. "Everyone pick a spot." Somewhat relieved, Spencer quickly turned around and headed to the light switch. Turning off the lights, she quickly made it back over to the bed and hopped on. "I'm starting the movie."

The room was filthy from the blue carpet on the floor, to the vast amount of dust on the ceiling fan. Denny stood at his doorway surveying the mess that was his room. He was tempted to turn back around and find somewhere else to be and then talked himself out of it. His only options were Arthur and the girls. He didn't give the first choice any thought and hanging out with the girls just didn't seem right. Plus the movie they were watching seemed boring as hell. 'Premonition' with Sandra Bullock. Total chick flick he convinced himself while moving around the room picking up the mess on the floor. "Hey," He picked up a small rectangular paper up against the wall. "Oh, I have to show Ashley this." He stood up while smiling down at the old concert ticket. It was a little over a year old but Denny remembered the show like it was yesterday. '16 Candles from Hell' live downtown, he had talked Spencer into going with him and they both ended up having a really good time. The ticket was signed by everyone in the band, including Ashley Davies. "Man this is going to blow her mind." He murmured sticking the ticket back on his wall. He stared at it a second longer thinking how hard it was to convince Spencer to drive him there. He had begged and begged until she finally gave into her frustration and agreed. He found it ironic that Spencer ended up in the same band, became good friends with Ashley Davies, and spending a lot of time in the basement with her. "Sleeping." He shook his head slowly. "A lot of sleeping."

A bright hue from the TV momentarily blinded fluttering brown eyes. A tanned groggy face turned away from the light, blinking several times, Ashley stared tiredly at the bathroom door. The rock star lied on her side, her back facing everyone else as she slowly began to recognize her surroundings. A sense of déjà vu ran through her as she sat up on the bed. Waking up in unfamiliar places, seeing unfamiliar faces, it wasn't new to her. She was used to it, used to it to the point where she stopped being scared when it happened. The only difference was, waking up back then in an unfamiliar place meant getting up and finding more cocaine. Back then it just always wanting cocaine.

Sitting up against the headboard in deep thought, Ashley felt an arm drape over her thighs and moved her gaze, watching Spencer roll over on her stomach, meeting her sleeping face, she reached out to softly stroke her soft skin, and then realized she had something better than cocaine now. Someone better. Waking up every morning to her glorious girlfriend was better than the finest cocaine in the world. Ashley moved her hand as Spencer's face showed a bit of aggravation. She looked away from Spencer and her eyes landed on the TV screen. The DVD player no longer occupied the screen. Now, Ashley watched regular TV, channel 4, the news. Her breath caught when she noticed the topic they were highlighting.

Her father.

The TV was muted so nothing could be heard, but Ashley knew what was going on. The sad facial expressions, the pictures of her father on the hospital bed, the short interviews the band members participated in, crying as they spoke into the microphone- Raife Davies wasn't going to last much longer. Her father was on the brink of death. She wanted more than anything to get up and turn off the screen, but she was mesmerized. She couldn't stop watching, stop thinking, and stop feeling every time she watched another picture of her father appear on the screen.

And then, in a blink of an eye, they were gone. Everything was gone, including the words running on the bottom of the screen, as the subject changed. Ashley looked away from the TV, her eyes landing on Spencer's arm, she lightly grasped her wrist and gently removed her hand from her lap. She didn't want to think of her father anymore. She hated thinking about him. All he ever caused her was pain and neglect, she hated him, that wasn't ever going to change, nothing on TV would ever convince her to love him. His death wasn't even enough to get her to love him.

The rock star lied further back into the bed, sighing as she rolled over onto her side, her back facing Spencer. She stared at the wall, forcing herself not to think of anything, anyone. She fought the assault of her mother entering her mind, and her father, and stared until her eyes were too heavy to stay open. And then she passed out.

Brown eyes followed the pictures on the screen, stared down the pretty actress' and handsome actors, followed their movements without blinking once, and couldn't help but reach out from time to time, wanting to touch these beautiful people, wanting to be them. They all seemed so happy under one roof, being a family, being perfect, she wanted to feel it- and then she laughed, cutting of her fucked up train of thought. She stopped seeing people on the screen, stopped seeing anything as she continued to stare, her mind somewhere else soaring high into the sky. Her body felt amazing as she sat on the edge of the king sized bed, surrounded by expensive decorations and various appliances cut out for royalty, the hot tub being one and the plasma TV being another. She didn't notice anything but the TV screen, and even then, she didn't really comprehend what she was doing. She couldn't repeat any of the scenes, couldn't name the characters, and had no idea what the name of the show was- she just knew she wanted to be there, behind the screen, with that perfect family.

And then she stopped seeing them completely. Her dazed eyes had something new to watch, something she absolutely hated, even in her high state, she still hated this man. Nothing would ever change that, it was expressed so clearly on her face, the hate pooling in her eyes, the snarl over her lips, anyone could see it, but nobody ever did. Her chin was grabbed between two fingers as identical brown eyes stared into her blank gaze. "What the fuck are you on?!" The words were demanded harshly as the hold on her chin tightened. "Fuck you." She mumbled staggering off the bed and into the next room.

Her father followed her into the luxurious living room fuming. She ignored him completely and collapsed face first onto the couch, closing her eyes, she groaned as she noticed the pain in her head seemingly for the first time. There was also a dull ache in her eyes from keeping them open for so long, she thought about the cocaine she still had in the bathroom, she knew a couple lines would fix her but didn't dare go to it now. Pops was still watching her, pissed the fuck off, she lied there with her eyes closed hoping he'd assume she was falling asleep and leave. But that didn't happen.

Two hands grasped her upper arms, brown eyes opened as Ashley was lifted off the couch. "You're bleeding all over the fucking place," She winced as the pain in her head reacted to her father's yelling. She watched her father's brown eyes move to the white couch, the grip on her arms was too much for her, she struggled to move away from her Dad, not wanting his hands on her. "Get the fuck off me!" She screamed as he led her out of one room and into another. "Ashley stop it!" He demanded as she struggled to get away from him. The rock star wasn't any match for her father, the blonde haired man had no problem keeping her in his grasp. "Stop it Ashley." He repeated and then lifted her up onto the sink, knocking everything off the hard marble countertop, he struggled to keep his daughter on the sink.

Having heard the silver platter fall on the ground, Ashley freaked out. The rock star did everything in her power to get passed her dad, to drop to the floor and save whatever cocaine she could collect to save her from the pain of coming down from her original high. Her head was on the verge of exploding, tears of frustration rolled down her cheeks, colliding with the blood all over her face. The two hands were back on her upper arms, she was forced back a bit and forced to look into her father's eyes. "Calm down!" He demanded gently pressing a damp towel to her face. Ashley allowed her head to fall back as her father kept the towel pressed up against her nose. "All this bullshit for nothing." She heard him mumble. "Do you see how fucking pathetic you are?!"

Ashley winced as the words assaulted her throbbing head. "Shut the fuck up." She hissed with her eyes tightly shut. "You owe me more shit." She added referring to the ruined cocaine. Hearing her father's bitter chuckle, brown eyes opened and looked at him. Her chin was grabbed again and her eyes leveled with his. "You really are pathetic." The hand was gone from her face. She watched him walk out the open door way. "Be a pathetic little bitch and snort the cocaine off the fucking floor like a low life junkie."The hotel door was opened and then closed.

Ashley immediately moved to the floor on her hands and knees.

"What's wrong?" The rock star asked her girlfriend sleepily. Spencer hovered over her with concern written all over her face. They were still in Paula's bedroom, Ashley lied on the right side of the bed with her girlfriend sitting next to her. Ashley remembered feeling Spencer gently shake her shoulder, urging her awake. She had no idea what the problem was and was beginning to feel her girlfriend's worry. "Nothing's wrong." Spencer forced a smile on her face and leaned down to kiss her lips softly. Ashley watched her with a strange expression. "You're lying." She gently accused watching Spencer move off the bed. She reached out and took her hand. Spencer turned back around and met her gaze. "Please tell me what's wrong."

"Breakfast is ready…" Paula trailed off noticing the mood of the room. Both set of eyes were on her, she watched Ashley quickly release her daughter's hand, the older blonde watched Spencer put some distance between her and the bed with Ashley watching her. She could tell there was a problem, but something kept her from inquiring about it, fear. She was scared to know what plagued the two girls, she was scared to know the truth of their relationship. She decided not to ask. "If you two girls are hungry there's breakfast on the table." She moved away from the open doorway and then remembered something. "Oh Spencer I was wondering if you and Ashley could do me a favor and pick up Caitlyn's medicine from Wal-Mart. I already called and they're open."

Spencer looked at her girlfriend. Ashley easily nodded and met the older woman's eyes. "Sure, no problem." She honestly accepted.

"Thank you, girls." Paula replied before leaving the room.

"You were talking in your sleep."

"What?" Ashley looked at her girlfriend. Spencer stood leaning up against her mother's dresser.

"You were talking in your sleep." She repeated. "That's why I woke you up."

The rock star looked down at her lap thinking about her dream. She couldn't describe the shame and embarrassment she felt the more she thought about it. Scooping the white powder into a small pile and then making rows out of it, snorting it all like a desperate junkie, she hated herself for it. "What was I saying?" She asked looking back at Spencer.

The blonde shrugged. "I couldn't really make anything out." She didn't tell Ashley about how bad she was whimpering or how scared she looked as she tossed and turned. "What were you dreaming about?" She couldn't stop herself from asking. Her girlfriend seemed terrified as she slept.

The rock star didn't want to answer, she didn't want to talk about it, but staring into her girlfriend's gray eyes, she decided to give her a glimpse of her problems. "I dreamt about Pops." She wanted more than anything to seal her lips shut and not say another word, she ignored the urge and continued uncomfortably. "It wasn't really a dream, well it was I guess because I was sleeping, but it was also a memory." She tilted her head slightly to the side. "Do you get me?"

Spencer nodded. "You fell asleep and dreamt of a memory. Was it a bad one?"

"It wasn't too bad." She lied and then realized her girlfriend didn't believe her. "You're face says it all, you think I'm lying."

"Then tell me the truth, Ash." The blonde started running her hand through her blonde bangs, waiting for Ashley to open up. She felt frustrated with the rock star. She knew she had some serious issues to talk about but couldn't get it out, Spencer wanted more than anything to help her, but she wouldn't let her.

"Alright." Ashley moved off the bed and stood near her girlfriend. "I got high this one night and just hung around my hotel room. Pops walked in and started fucking with me when I wasn't feeling too hot. I was coming down and was not in a good mood. My nose started bleeding and he dragged me into the bathroom and knocked my stash off the sink. All my coke fell on the floor and I was angry because that was supposed to cure my come down. He called me a junkie and then left. I got on the floor and started making small piles, and then lines, from there I spent the rest of the night high until I passed out." She smirked. "That was my dream. See? Not so bad." She folded her arms across her chest boldly staring into gray eyes.

And there it was again, Ashley's challenging posture. The bitchiness in her voice, the cocky look on her face, the way her brown eyes stared into hers waiting for the wrong words to spill from her lips. Spencer stood staring at the spoiled brat Ashley that had to have things her way. She could tell Ashley never wanted to talk about her dream and when she finally did speak, she spoke with a bad attitude. That was the attitude that always started fights between her and other people, especially Pops. But the older man never handled the situations right. Spencer knew you couldn't argue with Ashley and expect anything to be solved. The rock star had way of bending the situation in her favor and making the other person feel stupid. "Can I ask you something?" The rock star was caught off guard by the softly spoken question. "Ask me anything." Spencer didn't know how to take Ashley's attitude towards the dream. She stood smiling for a second, saying it wasn't a big deal- it confused the blonde. "If you had cocaine right now, would you take any?"

The rock star could tell her girlfriend was confused. Her face said it all. Ashley's arms dropped and her shoulders slumped. She approached Spencer and took her hand, loosely holding on to it, she answered her girlfriend's question. "No." She briefly shook her head as her mind wandered back. She thought of the people she hurt while under the influence of the powerful drug, she thought of hurting Spencer. "I would never do that again to you." She reached up and cupped the side of her face with her free hand. "You mean too much to me, Spencer." The blonde responded by moving forward and wrapping her arms around the rock star. Ashley tightly hugged her back.

Denny walked into the kitchen, ignoring everyone else in the room, he went straight to the refrigerator. He eyed its contents and then grabbed the orange juice carton. Kicking the fridge closed with his foot, he opened the orange juice and drank it straight from the skinny carton. "That is so gross." The tall teenager removed the orange juice bottle from his lips and met his cousin's gaze. With a sly smile, he opened his mouth a bit and shot orange juice at her from between his teeth. Spencer moved away from the flying juice and gave him a playful shove. "Denis the Menace!" She replied chuckling as she walked towards the sink. Denny placed the juice on a nearby counter and walked up behind Spencer, wrapping his arms around her from behind, he bended his back and picked his cousin up off the floor. "Denny!" She shrieked out of surprise. Denny replied laughing. "I was five when you last called me that! Remember? The same day you locked me up in the closet!" Spencer laughed hard as the memory invaded her mind. Her five year old cousin had infuriated her by drawing all over her walls with Crayola markers. In return, she locked him up in the closet. "You deserved it!"

Paula and Arthur watched the two teenagers from the kitchen table. The air around them had been tense up until their daughter joined them. Arthur sat at one end of the table reading the newspaper and Paula sat at the other drinking coffee while flipping through a magazine. Watching his two older kids in the kitchen playing around made the older man so happy. He loved seeing Spencer as a part of the family again, where she belonged, and not out with Ashley. Not anywhere near Ashley. The dark haired man looked at the end of the table where his wife sat. He couldn't help his attitude towards her. She was the one keeping Ashley under their roof despite his feelings towards the situation. He didn't understand why his wife allowed Ashley to be close to their daughter, it made absolutely no sense to him and he couldn't stop disliking her for it.

Denny finally placed Spencer down on the ground grinning like a maniac. "Ow!" He playfully rubbed his upper arm having been smacked by his older cousin. "You had it coming Spencey Spence." He grabbed his orange juice and hauled himself up on the kitchen counter. He watched Spencer grab a cup from the washer machine and fill it up with water. "So, where's your other half?" Spencer choked on the water sliding down her throat. His eyebrow shot up in curiosity. "You okay?" She nodded and cleared her throat. "Ashley's downstairs taking a shower." He noticed her hair for the first time that morning. Her clean blonde hair was damp hinting that she also had a shower. "Did you guys shower together?" Spencer could feel her parents' eyes on her as she glared at the tall boy. Denny had no idea what he said wrong. If her remembered right, Spencer said two girls showering together was no big deal. "No, you pervert!" The blonde replied in a mock angry voice, winking before bringing her glass back up to her lips. He played along. "Well you guys are never apart. I just assumed you two did everything together. My bad." She waved it off while continuing to drink her water. "So what's Ashley doing for her birthday?" Once again, the blonde choked on water.

Ashley slipped on a black '16 candles from hell' T shirt, standing in front of the mirror in the guestroom, she ran a hand through her damp auburn hair. It was definitely growing out fast and losing its straight persona. She thought back to the last time she had her hair chemically relaxed, two months ago, Ashley knew it was time to pay a visit to the hair salon. Her hair was naturally curly, the curls were actually very pretty, but Ashley preferred straight hair. It was just easier to take care of. The rock star walked over to the dresser and grabbed her cell phone. She flipped it open and saw she had two missed phone calls. One was from AJ the other from Sammy. She didn't care to know what her cousin wanted, knowing it was Pops related, so called Sammy back instead. A very slurred 'Hello' greeted her after 3 rings. Ashley fell back on the bed and covered her eyes with her arm. "Sounds like you've been having fun."

"Mmm." Her friend hummed deeply. "You have no idea, Aly. I'm surprised you called me back. How's my darling doing?" She purred.

"I've been better." She replied sounding miserable. Everything from Pops to her mother wore her out. She wasn't enjoying her personal life very much, if it wasn't for Spencer, she would be with Sammy, drunk, high, and fucking.

"Sounds like you need a pick me up."

"Yeah, no kidding. What'd you have in mind?"

There was a slight pause. "Are you serious?"

The rock star smiled. "I'm curious."

"Fentanyl and it is quite delicious."

The smile slid from the rock star's lips. She had no experience with the powerful pain killer but had heard a lot of good things about the drug. She was familiar with its power, powerful than morphine and heroin, and was beginning to scare herself with how much she wanted it. "I bet it is." She murmured weakly.

"Get your ass back in L.A. and we can enjoy it together."

Ashley stayed quiet for a full minute. She should have turned her blonde friend down right away, she was finished with drugs, but she didn't. Instead, she lied there thinking about how amazing the Fentanyl high would be. How amazing she'd feel under its influence. "I can't Sam." She finally dragged out.

"That wasn't a very convincing no."

Ashley removed her arm from her eyes and sat up. "I have to go ,Sam. I'll talk to you later." She closed her phone and ran her hand through her hair thinking about the drug again. She was very curious about it, she wanted to get high and escape reality- she shook her head and got up from the bed. She couldn't do that to Spencer.

"When's Ashley's birthday?" Spencer asked her taller cousin.

Denny smiled down at her. "She didn't tell you it was coming up?" He asked amused. Spencer shook her head. "She's a New Year's baby. Born Jan first."

"She didn't say anything to me about a birthday." Paula commented from the kitchen table.

"Are you sure?" Spencer questioned her cousin. He nodded. "Yeah, go look it up on the internet if you don't believe me. Or better yet, ask Ashley."

"Well she should spend her 18th with her family. Don't you think?" Arthur asked his daughter from his seat at the table. "When is she going back to L.A?"

Spencer didn't know how to answer. They didn't really make officials plans to leave. They discussed leaving sometime after the Holidays, leaving together. Spencer didn't know how to break it to her parents that she was leaving with Ashley and moving in with her at the beach house. "We're going back after the Holidays."

Both Paula and Arthur stared strangely at their daughter. "We're as in you and Ashley?" She nodded. "Why do you need to leave with her again?!" Arthur demanded. "You're little music adventure is over! You should be focusing on school not…not…Ashley!"

"Arthur." Paula hissed. "Calm down." She looked at Spencer. "We'll talk more about this later."

"No!" The older man disagreed. He looked at Spencer. "We're talking about this now."

The older blonde sighed. "Arthur it's too early to be fighting over Spencer's future."

"What is wrong with you?!" He asked his wife. "Do you hear what you're allowing?"

"Yes." Paula answered. "I'm allowing my daughter a peaceful morning." She grabbed a small piece of paper and some money out of her purse. Standing up, she gave it to Spencer. "Here's the shopping list and some extra money for you and Ashley to grab something to eat." She leaned forward and kissed her daughter's forehead. "Tell Ashley thanks again for me. I'm going to have a bath now."

"Okay." Spencer replied and watched her mother leave the kitchen. Denny was soon at her side. "Did she forget you don't have a license?"

The blonde shook her head. "Ashley has one."

Arthur also stood up from his seat and left the kitchen without saying anything else. Both teenage eyes were on him as he left. The taller teen wrapped an arm around his cousin. "He'll get over himself sooner or later."

Spencer sighed and leaned into Denny. "Hopefully sooner than later."

The rock star reached out and opened the skinny glass door, allowing her girlfriend inside the warm breakfast place before herself. She was surprised the small diner was open on Christmas day but wasn't complaining. She was starving. They silently walked over to a nearby booth and took their seats across from each other. Ashley looked around and noticed they were the only ones there. The waitress quickly found them with two menus and a small note pad in hand. "What can I get you two to drink?" Ashley ordered coffee and two orange juice's for her and Spencer. The waitress left them their menus and then left. "You do that so automatically now." Ashley looked at Spencer. "Do what?" The blonde reached across the table and intertwined their hands. "Order for me." The rock star immediately panicked. "I'm sorry. Did you want something else?" The blonde immediately shook her head. "No, it's fine. I loved it." Ashley relaxed and brought her hand up to her face, kissing her knuckles, she replied, "And I love you." Noticing the waitress from the corner of her eye, Ashley brought their hands back down and then pulled away.

"Here you guys go." She placed their drinks on the table and then met Ashley's eyes. She tilted her to the side a bit and then smiled. "I know you." The smile died from her lips. "I'm sorry about your Dad. It's terrible what's happening to him."

"Thank you." Ashley forced a smile. "I appreciate your kindness."

"Anytime." She cleared her throat a bit. "I'll give you two a couple of minutes to look over your menus."

"Thank you." Spencer watched the waitress walk away before moving her gaze to her girlfriend. Ashley sat across from her absently playing with her hair, her eyes casted down on the menu. She moved her own eyes to her menu and began scanning its contents. Ashley had been unusually quiet the whole way to the restaurant. The radio softly playing in the background of the car was Spencer's only company. She assumed Ashley was just tired, maybe thinking about her dream, and didn't want to bother her. Deciding on pancakes, the blonde closed her menu and looked up. She caught Ashley staring at her and didn't buy the smile of reassurance she flashed her. "What's on your mind?"

The rock star stayed looked away and remained quiet. They were sitting by a large window that looked out into the parking lot. She stared through the transparent glass and watched the snow lightly fall. She didn't understand what was stopping her from telling Spencer the honest to god truth. What's on your mind? Such a simple question to a complex answer. There was a lot on Ashley's mind, she seemed to be drowning in her problems and her life jacket came in the form of clear liquid, pill, or white powder. She couldn't stop dwelling on the Fentanyl. She knew the right amount of the drug would fuck her up and she loved the thought of it. She wanted to get high, needed to get high, and she was frustrated that she couldn't. "Ashley?" She turned her head. "I'm fine, Spencer." She forced another smile. "Believe me." She reached across the table and took her hand. "I'm with the girl of my dreams, the girl that I'm madly in love with about to enjoy a wonderful breakfast. What could be wrong?"

The paper rattled in her hands as they shook, brown eyes closed, her lips parted releasing a series of shaky breaths. Her emotions were all over the place, she hated that they were there at all. She shouldn't have felt a thing, absolutely nothing as she tightly held onto the magazine. But that wasn't happening, Ashley thought opening her stinging eyes. Why am I so close to tears? She wondered staring back down at the picture. She stood near a magazine rack in the grocery store. On her way to the produce section, her eyes had fallen on the front cover of 'ENQUIRER.' Her stomach lurched at the sight, her feet moved numbly over to it, and then her hands shook as she turned the pages. There on the page, was her father, lying in a hospital bed. Tubes were running in and out of his body, his eyes were closed, skin pale, he looked dead but according to the article was still breathing. Ashley was angry along with so many other things. The thought of someone going into her father's room, taking a picture, and then selling it was sickening. But then again, why should she care? If it were her on the hospital bed, her in the magazine, Pops wouldn't have given a flying fuck.

"There you are." She felt fingers graze her lower back, followed by the sight of her lover's glowing face. Spencer stood wearing jeans and a white jacket with gloves and her slip ons. The rock star met her gaze and wanted to smile, reassuring her that she was fine, but couldn't. Her emotions got the best of her, expressed in her eyes, and made it impossible for her to smile. "What's wrong?" Spencer's eyes fell on the magazine. With a gasp, she gently took it from her lover's hands and gaped down at the picture of Pops. "Oh God." She looked at Ashley and noticed the careless look on her face. Her eyes were hard now as they peered into hers. "We have to see him."

"I don't have to do anything." Ashley stated flatly. "You can see him if you want." She moved over to the shopping cart and began pushing it towards the nearest check out lane. Her eyes focused on the contents she placed on the conveyor belt, avoiding Spencer. Her mind stayed on her father and the confusion that revolved around him. She couldn't tell if she cared or not, maybe she did but every time she leaned into it, her mind screamed at her for it, and she hated him. A hand on her forearm stopped her. She looked up into Spencer's eyes and was taken aback by the hug she gave her. The rock star instinctively wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, brown eyes looked up and met the cashier's curious gaze. "It looked like you needed a hug," The blonde whispered near her ear. Ashley smiled despite the war going on in her mind. "I feel like crap." She held her girlfriend tighter. "But it's not as bad when I'm in your arms. I'm sorry for acting this way. There's just a lot going through my head..."

"Don't be sorry, Baby." She kissed the skin under her ear. "This is hard on everybody."

Ashley closed her eyes and melted into her lover's body, feeling the warmth and security fall over her like a thick blanket. "I don't care if he dies, Spencer." She spoke low but her voice was still very convincing. Spencer held her wondering who she was trying to convince more: her or herself. "I know Ashley," She ran her hands up and down her upper back. "I know."