A/N: Right, so this was ridiculously overdue. I'm sorry about that. Thank you for your patience and continued support, though. Without further distraction, here's chapter seven.

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the genius of CLAMP.

TSU RAI KU

. . . doubting is a deeper fall. . .

SEVEN

"Syaoran. . ."

WORDLESSLY, HE TOOK the shoes from her fingers and closed the door behind her, his chest warm behind her back. Sakura listened to him breathe, the sound both harsh and soothing in its predictability. "Why are you here?" she asked in an echo of many times before.

He responded as he normally did, with silence and padded back to where he had been sitting only moments before. Sakura's eyes adjusted to the lack of light and picked up the dark shadows of emptied cans. He had been drinking. "Tonight, though, what are you doing here- in my apartment? What do you want?"

"I thought as neighbors, I'd take you up on some hospitality."

She found comfort in the pique of annoyance that pulsed near her temples. "I want that key back; I don't want you coming in here anymore unannounced-"

"Afraid I'm going to walk in on you and your little friend?" he interrupted, the hiss of another can opening following immediately after. "Not enough private time at work for your fun?"

She ignored his taunting, biting back at the retort that sprang to her lips. What claim did he have to her private life, anyway? She took a seat beside him, her dress hiking up to her knees as she bent to pick up the emptied cans of beer. They numbered seven in total; she eyed him carefully. Was he drunk? "How long has Li-san been sitting here drinking in the dark?"

"Back to that again- Li-san, Li-san," he mimicked. "I find it interesting how you choose your relationships. A little politeness, a little chivalry, and you're won over. Talk about easy."

Her eyes widened, his words stinging. "I don't like what you're trying to insinuate. Eriol-san and I are-"

"Yes, I know very well what you two are."

Her hands slammed down on the floor, her patience having evaporated much earlier. "Stop being such a child. Aren't you trying to find the person who killed your mother? How does sitting in my room and getting drunk help with that? Li-san, what exactly are-" She broke off, Li having stood up and approached the glass case that held her parents' photographs and the violin. She crossed silently to his side. He stared into the glass, his palm pressed against the cold surface.

Hesitantly, her hand trembling, she touched his arm. She felt him shudder beneath her fingers. "Please tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help-"

"You can help," he interrupted again, his expression shadowed from her gaze by the darkness. "You can give me this violin."

"But you said you didn't need to- you said that you'd changed your mind!" she protested, thoughts of her brother far from her mind. The equation was a simple one, a simple subtraction of certain necessary factors and then a finite ending. If the violin were no longer with her- if there was no longer a need to be near it, to be near her, then Li- "No. You can't have it."

"Then I'll have to take it."

The glass case's lock was sprung in two short movements of his fingers; the violin was removed just as quickly, and Sakura found herself in the same position she'd held only a few weeks before. She landed on her back, hard, the air knocked from her lungs forcefully, but he fell with her, his heavier weight slamming into her chest harshly. She clawed at his grip, ignoring his face held so closely to her own. The cover of gloom and night hid the details of his features, and if she focused only on the violin, she could forget the reason for her struggle altogether.

A last tug from her fingers and the violin spilled into her palm; it was not the result of her own strength, though. Li had stopped moving. For a scarce minute, she laid still, so very aware of the warm breath on her neck and exigent heat on top of her. It pooled between them, that intangible something that hovered and swelled, that tiptoed and annoyed. She couldn't place its proper name, couldn't place its proper title. It was both dense and light, and all she could think was that, whatever it was, it couldn't be real.

After all, Sakura knew the reason for his presence. He was here for revenge, for information. She was just a lure, the latest clue- the most recent puzzle piece. Unbidden, her stomach twisted and angrily she pushed at his shoulders. "Get off of me, Li. You're drunk and need to sleep it off."

"Sakura."

Against her will, she stopped struggling. His voice peppered into her ear like a soft breeze, the word a gentle caress against her skin. "Sakura. . ." He seemed to blend into her, his body a rise and fall of layered pieces that matched effortlessly with her own. "You smell like your home, like softness and spring. . .like sakura. I like this, this Sakura."

The pain, different from any other such ache she had felt in the past, crippled her from speech and action. It felt like fear, like the unknown- it was a dark cave without light and filled with whispering spirits. She rebelled against it, and when her voice returned to her, she used it fully. "Liar. Li-san is using such sly means to try to get what he wants. Li-san should leave. You should leave now."

Perhaps it was something in her tone, the way she sounded so singularly certain, so completely unlike her usual self, but he listened and obeyed. She laid there, unable to stand in his absence. Her cheeks felt wet to her fingers, and distantly, she recognized that the beautiful silk gown she wore had been ruined in the struggle. Sakura pulled her pillow to her chest, bowed her head, and wept.

II

THE SUNSHINE BASKED in its spring headiness, and cheerfully, Sakura obeyed its direction, removing her outer sweater and stretching her arms skyward. She had arrived early to the temple, wanting to do a quick once-over on the recent changes. The inner temple was being preserved, little to nothing in it needing new wiring or paint. The two outside chambers- once cloisters that housed the temple's priests- had been completely re-fashioned. An entire wall had been knocked out to make way for a small cafe- Sakura's original idea. Visitors to the shrine could present their prayers, purchase a charm or blessing for good fortune, and then pause for a refreshment at the cafe. It was there that she waited, seated with her eyes half closed at one of the sample tables she had brought to have the temple owner decide upon. This would be their first meeting, and all she had been prepared with was his name: Andrew Reed, an Englishman.

"Kinomoto Sakura-san?"

She straightened to attention at the words, rising from her chair, smile already prepared. The owner was a tall man, with kind features and dark hair kept long and to the side. There was an instant air of familiarity to him that surprised her. The way in which he smiled was as if he had known her for a very long time. "Reed-san then? How are you?" she asked, bowing slightly.

Reed smiled pleasantly, gesturing back to the chairs. Sakura returned to her seat gratefully, overly aware of her short stature compared to his. "Thank you for meeting me here. I wanted to review the next phase of development and hear your ideas regarding the present changes."

"You have unusual eyes, Kinomoto-san. I was not expecting that." Reed motioned to one of the workers in the cafe; the man approached. "You have the espresso machine running, yes? An espresso for me, and for Kinomoto-san-"

"Oh, just water, please," Sakura replied jerkily, still uncomfortable with the strange commentary about her eyes. She knew the rare color- rare for Japan- often piqued the interests of others, but the way in which he spoke; it was as if he had some comparison to draw from.

"And one water for Kinomoto-san." Reed, seemingly satisfied, pulled his chair closer and gestured for the folder in her hands, which she handed over easily. "Now then, Kinomoto-san, tell me about my shop."

"Of course; firstly, as you can see, the cafe is coming along nicely. We want to retain the original woodwork for the exterior, maybe applying a layer of varnish for protection. The interior will be re-paneled, and for decorations, we've found a number of photographs taken in the 1920s and 50s of the temple priests and the shrine-" She broke off, noticing that Reed's expression had changed completely. He appeared perplexed. "Is something bothering Reed-san?"

"Are you really Kinomoto Sakura?" Reed paid no attention to the arrival of his espresso.

"Yes. . .yes, I am." Sakura could only answer in the affirmative, having never been asked such a question. Seeking something to back up her claim, she reach around her neck for her office badge, and taking it off, handed it across the table. "See?"

Reed's brown eyes clouded over, his confusion deepening. "You really look nothing alike, and I could have sworn that you would be here to ask me questions as well."

"'Look nothing alike?'" she repeated back to him, her thoughts quickly connecting the dots. "Reed-san's met my brother. . ."

"Yes, Touya-san came to me in Hong Kong-"

Hong Kong, again- first Li; she shuddered, forgetting her earlier resolve to not think of him at all. "When? Why was he there- what did he want to know?"

"Just a moment, Kinomoto-san," Reed spread his hands, as if surrendering. "I really don't know all that much. Touya-san came to me with some questions about my brother. I answered them, and then we parted ways. I simply thought it was curious to have met another Kinomoto."

Disappointment swelled in her chest, and reluctantly, Sakura nodded her understanding. "I see. . . I'm sorry for-" But she didn't know what rightly to apologize for. Surely it was no coincidence that this man should come across her path at this exact moment? Coincidences like that didn't exist; it had to mean something. "May I ask what my brother wanted to know?"

A shiver of sadness flickered over Reed's gentle features. "Touya-san wanted to know how to meet my brother, and I told him that it was impossible. My brother died over two years ago in an accident."

"Oh, Reed-san, I'm-" Again, she floundered for the right response. In her eagerness to learn more of her brother's situation, she had forgotten her purpose that day. She was not there to pressure Reed into sharing such sad memories. "I'm sorry," she finished lamely. "I won't ask any more questions."

"No, no, it's all right. Your brother was an interesting fellow. He reminded me very much of-" Reed shook his and finally considered his espresso. "Regardless, I enjoyed speaking with him, so there's nothing to apologize for. What do you say we return to those pictures you were telling me about?"

With only a small reluctance, Sakura agreed and picked up with describing the continued project. The conversation continued without a relapse, the only momentary pause coming when her eyes caught sight of a familiar form leaning against the large cherry tree that centered the temple's main square. Her breath caught in her throat, and only through pretending the pause due to thirst was she able to continue on as if all was right in the world. The knots in her stomach told her otherwise. She needed- what she needed-

"Kinomoto-san, are you all right?"

She looked into Reed's concerned gaze and summoned a bright smile. "Completely."

She needed her best friend.

III

"I DON'T WANT another drink," Sakura repeated for the fourth time. A glass filled with a suspiciously pink liquid was pushed her way regardless. She attempted to glare from across the kotatsu, but the combined powers of a heated blanket and a Tsuraiku DVD playing in the background defeated her.

"I'll stop pushing drinks if Sakura-chan tells me what's really bothering her." Tomoyo smiled, while sipping from own glass demurely.

"Sakura should know better than to keep such things inside," Rika chided gently.

"Yes, yes, it's very dangerous to bottle things up all the time. True story: my great uncle's best friend's daughter used to never cry. It didn't matter what happened, if she broke her arm or lost someone she loved- she never cried." Takashi lowered his voice to an unnecessary hush, oblivious to the increasingly annoyed twitch in his girlfriend's jaw. Despite herself, Sakura leaned in closer.

"One day, though, as she was crossing an old bridge that led over a long dry creek, a pine needle from overhead fell down and struck her face, piercing the small space of skin beneath her eye. There was no pain, only a sudden dampness. The woman lifted her hand to her cheek, confused by the wetness on her skin. Within minutes that trickle turned into a gushing torrent; the pine needle had released the years of unwept tears, and by morning the creek was full and the woman was no more." Takashi finished and sat back, wrapping the kotatsu blanket more firmly around him. "True story- ow!"

Chiharu lowered her fist, surprised. She had been beaten to it. Tomoyo shook out her hand gingerly. "Takashi-chii needs to stop with all the silly stories. This is serious. Sakura-chan came to us for help."

Sakura bit back a sigh. In actuality, she had gone to Tomoyo for advice- and a place to crash for a few nights. But the moment she mentioned the circumstances of her conflict, Tomoyo had grabbed her mobile and began punching numbers. The end result had been an impromptu gathering in Tomoyo's spacious 23rd floor loft. The kotatsu was unearthed, Rika brought the snacks (all of which had been hand made in the brief two hours between the phone call and her arrival), and Takashi and Chiharu lumbered in with Tsuraiku concert DVDs, drink mixers, and an unnecessary amount of tissues. The support, while appreciated, was a bit overwhelming.

It didn't help that they kept throwing alcohol at her, either. The thready control she held over her emotions only weakened with its addition, and the absolute last thing she wanted was to break down into a full confession of what had transpired the night before. She didn't want to face the feelings behind those actions- she didn't want to have anyone guess at them, vocalize them and drive them into undeniable fact. If that happened, then there was no way she could just pretend-

"It's that neighbor of yours, isn't it? The stalker one." Chiharu nodded sagely, brandishing her chopsticks as she spoke. "I haven't met him or anything, but it does sound like some sort of shoujo story, doesn't it?"

Takashi gulped his drink fervently. "There's no doubt- he's taciturn and rude, but attractive in that stony sort of way. He is definitely the Mysterious, Violent Type. And then there's Sakurin's new boss, the Pleasing, Secretly-Dangerous Type."

Chiharu appeared completely unbothered by her significant other's easy knowledge of the workings of romance manga. "I want to see them together! I want to."

"Well I don't," Sakura returned adamantly. Her morning had been spent in careful avoidance of Eriol, which proved rather difficult considering her entire department consisted of nine people, open cubicles, and only one working elevator. "Nothing would make me happier than waking up tomorrow and finding both of them gone." She ignored the lurch in her chest that said otherwise.

"But I thought Sakura liked Eriol-san?" Rika managed to make eating tamagoyaki look both delicate and poised.

"Sakura-chan's only interested because he's interested." Tomoyo leapt up briefly to angle the remote to the DVD player. Tsuraiku began playing their second set for the third time. "No, she's far more confused about the neighbor, who keeps dragging her off to places."

"It is a triangle, it is!" Chiharu seemed to be having far too much fun with Sakura's situation for her tastes. She found that glowering over a bowl of nattō paste provided exactly the right sort of expression to intimidate. Chiharu paled slightly. "I mean, er: poor Sakurin! A simple life is much better."

"I think we should take this more seriously. Sakura-chan's unhappy." Rika plied another serving of rice into Sakura's bowl, as if the addition emphasized the full extent of Sakura's unhappiness. "We should try to think of ways to help."

Sakura groaned into her arms, fully regretting her decision to ask for advice, as the conversation continued to digress. This was turning into a circus- granted, she normally enjoyed the ruckus she got into with her friends. The inanities normally helped alleviate whatever stress she might have been feeling. Her spirits were raised and by morning, her worries seemed insignificant. Perhaps, she realized, the only reason it worked was because her worries were insignificant. At the present, help seemed very far away.

Her ears caught onto a word and immediately she straightened, her hand coming to land down on the table surface with a slam. "No cosplay- no way!"

"I think it would definitely help," Tomoyo insisted stubbornly, her expression already growing overly excited at the idea.

"There is absolutely no way that it would help!" Another glass of pink liquid was shoved in front of her; she shot a glare at the culprit who then decided to speak up.

"Sakurin, come on! It would be fun- we can even go down to Aki-san and play with the robo- ow!" Takashi rubbed his forehead gingerly, Chiharu's chopsticks having struck there with finite force.

"Okay then, no cosplay- but it might have helped." Tomoyo fiddled with the remote, her lower lip showing plainly that she was in a full on sulk. "Sakura-chan doesn't know that it wouldn't have."

"Maybe Sakurin could date both of them? See which one she likes most?" Chiharu gestured with her chopsticks as she reasoned out loud. "The one who liked her the most would get the most jealous, and then Sakurin would know who was the best choice."

"Maybe, but the one who liked her the most might be the most willing to do anything just to be with Sakura- even if it meant sharing her," Rika pointed out earnestly.

Sakura stared at Rika, disbelievingly. Rika too now? Were none of her friends sane? "Listen, there is no triangle, no love mystery. I'm not confused about choosing between them. I already know which one I like the best-" Hurriedly, she clapped a hand over her mouth. "I didn't say that."

"Ah, ah, who then? The stalker or Glasses-san?"

"The stalker, definitely."

"But I've seen Glasses-san, and he has this air-"

"Chiharu-chan hasn't seen the stalker; she would change her mind."

"Really?"

"Ask Rika-chan."

"Rika-chan?"

"Yes, really."

Sakura gave up entirely on any hopes she had for finding some closure to her conflictions. She supposed she was partly to blame, having not shared the entire story with any of her friends. Somehow, though, she imagined that if they knew the finer details of the entanglement, it would only serve as further encouragement. Wearily, she stood up from the table and retreated to the small balcony that edged out from the bedroom. The height dazzled her eyes, but they were soon closed regardless. Unbidden, her thoughts returned to her empty apartment, left in chaotic disarray from her escape that morning.

"Hiding?"

She opened her eyes. "Just for a little bit."

"I'm sorry for back there." Takashi leaned back against the railings. "We all just want to see Sakurin smiling again."

Sakura sighed. "I know. Normally, I'd be fine by now, but this is something else. . . I just can't quite-" She gazed upwards, the night sky dimmed by the city lights.

"Sakurin has always been a coward."

Sakura tried not to feel insulted, but her lips pursed nonetheless. "Takashi has always been a liar."

He smiled at her, shrugging the comment off for the truth it was. "Even when we were in elementary school, during the courage tests with ghosts, Sakurin would cry and hide, terrified of what might be waiting in the shadows."

She remembered those days; her fear of the dark and ghosts hadn't lessened as she grew older. Even now, if she slept in an unfamiliar place, her dreams would wake her with tremors and the sincere belief that there most definitely something waiting for her in the gloom. "I'm not that little girl anymore, though."

"You're right, of course. You're not a little girl anymore, but you still hide when frightened by the unknown. You still run away when confronted by the unexpected." Takashi's hand pressed gently on her shoulder. "Sakurin can be brave for anyone else, but when it comes to her, she's a coward."

He was right, of course. They had been friends for too long for him to not be. "I liked Yuu very much, maybe even loved him a little, but he was safe. I knew that even if he did leave it, it wouldn't be too painful. I just-" she broke off, her heart beat racing. "I don't want to get hurt, Takashi."

"You're already hurting, Sakura-chan." Tomoyo stepped through the open doorway, a small cup of tea in her hands. "You're already in pain. I mean, honestly, you spent the whole evening without smiling and looking like you'd start crying any second! It seems a little too late to be talking about getting hurt."

"I can't trust him," Sakura insisted, stubbornly refusing to grant credence to her friends' words. "I'm just a means to an end with him."

Tomoyo shook her head. "It's not about that. It's-" She spread her hands, her tea jostling.

"-it's about whether Sakurin can trust herself," Takashi finished for her.

Sakura stared over the ledge, the city seeming so miniscule from above. Was this how the world appeared to heaven? Was this how her parents watched over her? Perhaps, from that distance, the answer really was that simple. Lifting her eyes, she curved her lips into her first genuine smile of the night. "Eh? How did Takashi get so wise? Tomoyo-chan's no mystery, but Takashi? No way."

"I've been assigned to a mangaka this month; it's shoujo, shoujo, and more shoujo," he confessed ruefully.

"Good. Takashi-chii needs some inspiration on how to propose to Chi-chan." Tomoyo's words resulted in an immediate reaction. Takashi nearly fell in his haste to escape from the balcony, Tomoyo's twinkling laughter trailing after him. "Sakura-chan knows, right? You can stay here as long as you like."

Sakura lifted her green eyes back to the night sky and its nearly hidden stars. She was remembered of the night spent in Tomoeda, of the cool grass under her feet, and the tender expression she had seen there. The knot in her chest twisted tighter, and resolutely, she shook her head clear.

"I know, but I can't hide here forever. Tomorrow, I'll go home tomorrow."

Seven End

TSU RAI KU

. . .doubting is a deeper fall . . .

A/N: Just a few quick notes on words or phrases referenced.

Nattō: refers to a type of food made from fermented soybeans. It can take some getting used to, as it's generally very strong in both smell and taste. I am not a huge fan, just a bit too over-powering for me.

Kotatsu: a low table that contains a heater and blanket- fabulous for the winter time to keep warm while eating. It's really easy to fall asleep at those incidentally.

Tamagoyaki: Delicious! If you've ever watched a jdrama, you've probably seen a restaurant scene involving an open griddle and the diners making something that looks eggy on them. That's tamagoyaki! It's called differently depending upon where you are in Japan, but essentially, it's an omelets and hard to beat.

Shoujo: romance manga targeted, ordinarily, at the more youthful female demographic. Plainly, the entire third scene of this chapter is me poking some fun at my contrivances for this story. Which makes sense since Card Captor Sakura was originally a manga by CLAMP, and then an anime, and I'm still waiting on my live action.

Aki-san: Slang for Akihabara, also sometimes called Akiba. Aki-san is a district in Tokyo famous for its otaku. It's a haven for geeks everywhere, and it doesn't matter what your particular geekdom is, if you have the interest, they'll have the shop/café/fellow fan. Seriously, if you do anything in Japan (and yes, I know this sounds silly considering), go to Akiba. Sooooooo wish they had an equivalent here in Florida.

Just a side note on Aki-san: somehow, in my take on Takashi, I pictured him as Akiba-goer. Can't you just see him at a Maid Café?