Disclaimer: The characters, items, places etc of Naruto are property of Masashi Kishimoto. These objects are used without permission for entertainment only, not for making money. No infringement is intended.

AU NaruSasu, though Sasuke does have a couple of seme moments. Warnings for language, cross dressing and sexual themes and situations.

Predictable

By Nanaki Lioness

Naruto hated predictability. He hated routine and he hated living the same life day in, day out. That was one of the reasons he had jumped at the chance to move in with Sasuke- his boyfriend was just like him!

At least, he had thought he was just like him… Yet Sasuke was possibly the most boring person to live with he'd ever know. He had routines- routines that he hated to deviate from. Even their sex life had fallen into a routine, and Sasuke got edgy if Naruto suggested they go out to see a movie or something else spontaneous. At times, Naruto imagined living with rocks would be more interesting than living with Sasuke. Well, except rocks wouldn't be so good-

He cut his train of thought off with a perverted grin, fishing for his key in his pocket. He'd finished work early- Sasuke would frown at him for being home early, he was sure- and planned on surprising his partner by taking him out to dinner. Argument or no argument, Naruto was going to get his way one way or the other even if he had to drag Sasuke kicking and screaming.

Pushing open the door, he closed it quietly. He could hear music flitting through the hall and his eyes widened in surprise- Sasuke never had music on when he came home. Naruto grinned to himself, feeling like a voyeur as he tip toed through the hall and towards the bedroom where the sound was coming from. Pushing the door open, he smiled and opened his mouth to speak.

He couldn't. He couldn't open his mouth- he couldn't do anything but stare. Sasuke hadn't heard him come in and Naruto was very tempted to shut the door and pretend he hadn't seen what he was currently seeing. Any thoughts of his boyfriend being predictable were blown out of the water by this.

"Sasuke?" He eventually uttered over the music.

Sasuke turned, dark eyes wide in shock. He stayed rooted to the edge of the bed where he was sitting, eyes flicking between Naruto, the stereo… And his own attire.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke eventually hissed at him, cheeks reddened as he got up to flick the stereo off.

"Looking at you dressed like a woman," Naruto deadpanned, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. The curtains were closed and he moved to open them, but stopped as Sasuke gave him a glare loaded with murderous intent for even thinking about it.

Sasuke turned the stereo off, staying next to it and putting a hand to the wall to steady himself. Whether it was because of the shock of being caught or the heels on his pointed black shoes Naruto didn't know. He was wearing a red tartan mini skirt and a pretty white blouse- and more shockingly, it suited him disturbingly well. He was wearing makeup, but it was quite natural apart from his smoky coloured eye-shadow and liner. His hair was unchanged, but he'd been holding a hairbrush when Naruto had entered, giving the impression that was next on the agenda.

Naruto continued to gape, unable to formulate a sentence that wouldn't have been 'what the fuck is going on?'- which he felt was rather impolite.

Sasuke stared right back at him, eyes narrowed sharply. He still hadn't let go of the wall.

"What are you doing home?" He eventually asked, his voice just as sharp as his eyes. "You're not due home for another hour."

"I was planning on surprising my unpredictable boyfriend," Naruto replied smoothly. "But I suppose I can't call you that now, can I?"

"No!" Sasuke answered, shaking his head. "No, this isn't normal."

"You can say that again."

"I mean I don't normally do this!"

"You just happened to have girl's clothes and make up just lying around? I'm not going to believe that-"

"Shut the hell up and listen," Sasuke snapped, finally stepping away from the wall. He almost stumbled as he attempted to stomp on the floor in his anger, righting himself quickly and stepping lightly across the room instead. Naruto snickered behind his hand.

"That's right, walk like a lady Sasuke-chan."

Sasuke stalked straight across to him and grabbed his collar, pinning him easily against the wall. Naruto struggled to get his feet back on the ground, clutching Sasuke's wrist and attempting to free himself from his boyfriend's iron grasp.

"Shut the fuck up and listen before I hurt you."

"You'll try to hurt me," Naruto couldn't resist taunting. "I'm not so sure of your masculinity anymore dressed like that."

He had to laugh to himself when felt Sasuke's fist connect with his cheek- he'd deserved that, but it was oh so true. He attempted to throw a punch back but Sasuke grabbed his arm and slammed it back into the wall, twisting it painfully behind Naruto's head.

"Ow! Owowowowow!"

"I shouldn't have bothered," Sasuke snapped, releasing Naruto who fell ungracefully to the ground. "I was doing this for you, you idiot."

"Me?" Naruto asked, eyes narrowed in confusion, raising a hand to his cheek as it began to throb slightly. "I don't remember ever asking you to dress up for me, Sasuke."

Sasuke didn't reply, removing the shoes he was wearing for ease and walking across the room. Opening a drawer beside their bed, he pulled out a small bundle of receipts.

"These," he said, holding them up. "Are dated for today."

Naruto got up from the floor, walking across to Sasuke and tentatively holding his hand out. Sasuke scowled at him and thrust them in his direction, making it clear Naruto was to take them as he would not give.

Naruto did so, flicking through them. Receipts for the makeup, the clothes, the shoes… All dated for that day, as Sasuke had said.

"I don't understand," he eventually said, sitting on the edge of the bed. Sasuke sat next to him, crossing one leg at the knee as he did so. Naruto snickered, unable to help himself- it was a very feminine way to sit and wasn't doing Sasuke any favours.

"I sit like this all the time!" Sasuke growled at him, noticing the smirk. He shifted position anyway, giving Naruto a warning glare that suggested one more joke and he would walk away with more than a single punch.

"Yes, but you're not dressed as a woman 'all the time'," Naruto pointed out, resisting so hard not to add 'that I know of'.

"Look, you're always complaining about how you hate routine," Sasuke told him, his voice leaving no room for further argument. "You wanted me to be spontaneous."

"By… Dressing up as a woman?" Naruto asked, still not able to see a credible link between the two. "That's not quite what I meant, Sasuke."

"You like girls as well," Sasuke tried to explain. "But you're… With me, and… I don't have any intention of changing that. So I thought perhaps… You'd like…"

"Oh," Naruto cut in, saving Sasuke as he stumbled over his words. "Oh."

"Does that make sense?"

"Well… Yes and no," Naruto replied. "You don't have the body of a woman, even if you look like one. It's not the same."

He felt bad as Sasuke looked uncharacteristically crestfallen- even if he covered it immediately and expertly.

"But I appreciate the effort!" He continued. "And this is a damn good effort, Sasuke." He grabbed one of Sasuke's hands, holding it out. "Look at this nail polish, you've put it on perfectly!"

He gently clasped Sasuke's chin, turning him to look at him. "And these eyes-"

Sasuke glared and pulled himself away, folding his arms across his chest. Naruto wasn't sure if he was wearing blusher or whether his cheeks were slightly pink with embarrassment. Either way, he looked stunning and Naruto felt it was going to waste as they fought about it.

"So… How far did you go?" He queried, putting a hand on Sasuke's thigh and running it softly up to the hem of the skirt. Sasuke stifled a shudder, glancing around to Naruto with a question on his cherry coloured lips. Naruto silenced it with a kiss, grinning as they broke apart.

"You like it?" Sasuke asked, his eyes looking strangely exposed.

"I like it," Naruto confirmed, his hand creeping up the skirt. "And I want to know how far you went with it."

His fingers connected with silk and he grinned widely, stroking it softly. Sasuke gasped and pushed Naruto's hand down and away, jumping to a stand.

"All the way it seems," Naruto grinned. "What are you getting shy about?"

"It's… Different," Sasuke answered, hands playing with the hem of the skirt nervously.

"Well that was the point, wasn't it?" Naruto sighed. "Besides, I need to take advantage of you now if I'm going to- we have a dinner reservation in forty five minutes. That's why I came home early. I was planning on surprising you."

"Oh," Sasuke replied, the colour draining from his face. "Naruto… I don't think we'd have time-"

"What? It won't take long to get that stuff off!" Naruto argued, patting the bed beside him and giving Sasuke a seductive smile. "Two seconds for the clothes and five minutes for the make up."

"No," Sasuke answered, shaking his head rapidly and paling even more. "I… Forgot to buy make up remover."

"Ah."

They stared at each other for a moment before Naruto burst out laughing, causing Sasuke to scowl at him.

"Well, look's like you're coming out dressed like that," Naruto replied with a sigh. "Oh well!"

"Oh well?!" Sasuke snapped back. "No!"

"Oh come on, that would be spontaneous!"

"That would be humiliation!"

"Is there anything wrong with that?" Naruto asked, a perverted grin setting across his lips. "We just need to stuff your bra a little and you could easily pass! You are wearing a bra, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Then let's find something to pad it with and style your hair," Naruto suggested. "That was what you were doing when I came in, right?"

"I am not going anywhere outside of this house dressed like this!" Sasuke hissed at him, shaking his head firmly.

"Oh come on! Name something, anything, and I'll do it in return!"

"No."

"It seems like such a waste to go to all that outstanding effort and not show it off!"

"No."

"But you look oh-so-pretty," Naruto sung.

"Naruto, no!"

-.-.-

"No, eh?" Naruto whispered in Sasuke's ear as they stepped out of the taxi onto the pavement outside of the Italian restaurant the reservation was at. "You are such a pushover."

"And you are such an asshole," Sasuke hissed back, yanking his arm free of Naruto's grip. "I can walk."

He took one step and almost fell over on the slightly crooked paving slabs, Naruto grabbing his arm again and righting him quickly.

"Language!" Naruto chided with a grin. "That isn't very lady like."

"Unless you want everyone to see you get your ass kicked by a lady, shut up and let's go in," Sasuke growled. "It's freezing out here."

"That skirt is rather short," Naruto agreed. "Just don't fall over again- you gave everyone quite a view."

Sasuke stamped on his boyfriend's foot with one heeled shoe, causing Naruto to yelp and stop being so smug about the situation. It had taken some convincing but Sasuke had eventually agreed to coming out, mostly because Naruto had agreed to buy the most expensive bottle of wine on the menu of Sasuke's choosing and to never ever speak of the incident again.

That, and Naruto had promised he'd withhold sex for at least a month. That had got Sasuke moving pretty quickly.

They had managed to get Sasuke looking presentable, even if it meant having to get a taxi as they wouldn't have time to walk. Besides- Sasuke had complained about his shoes and told Naruto walking any further than he had to was out of the question.

They'd managed to stuff his red silky bra with layers of tissues for the most realistic effect they could come up with- which wasn't very realistic, but would have to do. Sasuke was also wearing a pretty butterfly pin in his hair that was attached to springs, bouncing as he moved his head- it had looked nice on the shop shelf when he'd bought it, but he was rapidly regretting it. He was quite tempted to yank it off and smash it under his foot but he restrained himself- they hadn't had long to style his hair so they'd had to simply brush it out and stick the pin in, hoping for the best. Thankfully, it seemed to do the job. He was very convincing, and that was all that mattered.

Once inside, Sasuke noted how many people were looking at him. He felt horrifically self conscious, fearing everyone that looked at him knew he wasn't actually a woman. Yet, as he studied their faces more he realised they were all men and they were all quite clearly leering.

Naruto clasped his hand and gestured for him to follow the waiter who was seating them which Sasuke did so gratefully, sliding into the booth in the corner quite thankfully.

"Did you seem them all looking?" Naruto whispered once they had been handed the wine menu and been left in peace for a moment. "They all think you're hot. I told you you'd be a passable woman."

"Shut up," Sasuke snapped, kicking him under the table.

"Ow!" Naruto cried sharply. "You have pointed shoes, that hurts!"

Sasuke grinned at him and kicked him again. "I'm sure a little pain is nothing compared to what I'm currently doing for you, isn't it?"

Naruto wisely kept quiet at that, pushing the wine menu in Sasuke's direction. "Go on then. Bankrupt me."

"Gladly," Sasuke replied, skimming through the list. "Wow, pricey in here isn't it? How about a nice red wine?"

"You know I don't drink red wine."

"All the more for me then," Sasuke admonished, snapping the menu closed with a smirk. He signalled the waiter over- he had been standing nearby expectantly- but Naruto laid a hand on his arm and pulled it down.

"Let me do the talking," he suggested as the waiter approached.

"I-"

"Trust me," Naruto hissed, letting Sasuke's arm go and smiling up at the waiter. "Good evening. Could we get a bottle of red wine, please?"

"Of course Sir," the man answered, his voice thick with an Italian accent. "Did you have one in mind or would you like the kitchen to choose?"

Sasuke picked up the menu and ran his finger underneath one of the listed wines, giving the waiter a sweet smile- careful to keep his mouth closed as instructed.

"Of course Madam," the waiter replied, writing it down.

"And could I get some mineral water- still, not sparkling."

"Of course Sir. Will that be all?"

"Yes, that's fine," Naruto nodded, giving the waiter another smile as he headed away.

"You may look the part but you don't sound it," Naruto explained once the man was out of earshot.

"I guessed."

"Can't you bring your voice up a bit?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him. "Not without some major reconstructive surgery. I'll just let the man do all the ordering."

"It's good you know your place," Naruto smirked, earning himself another kick under the table for his chauvinistic attitude. "Now come on, try and pick something to eat so we can order when he gets back."

"Whatever you like," Sasuke shrugged. "Suggest something, I'm not fussy."

"Have you ever eaten something here you haven't liked?"

"No, it's all good."

"So choose something."

"I said I don't know," Sasuke sighed. "Be spontaneous and choose something for me- I'm going to the bathroom."

Sasuke stood, his first step unsteady until he straightened himself out. As he walked away- looking very much at home on those heels, it had to be said- Naruto gasped and stepped up, jogging across to Sasuke and grabbing his arm to halt him. Calling his masculine name wouldn't have worked, after all.

"What are you doing?" He asked his dark haired partner, who was glaring at him. Before he could answer, Naruto put a finger to his lips and indicated he come back to the table- Sasuke's movement had attracted the attention of a couple of nearby men.

Sasuke did as he was asked, sitting back down and frowning at Naruto across the table. "Explain," he snapped.

"You were heading the wrong way," Naruto pointed out. "Do you want to give yourself away?"

"What do you mea-" Sasuke began sharply before he stopped, eyes widening as he realised what Naruto had meant.

"You want the other direction," Naruto grinned widely, clearly enjoying this. "Imagine the shock those men would get when a woman walked in on them, especially a woman most of them have been making eyes at?"

They were interrupted as the waiter approached their table, Sasuke rolling his eyes and folding his arms as Naruto indicated with his hands that he stay quiet.

"Are you ready to order food?" Their waiter asked as he opened the bottle of wine, picking up Sasuke's wine glass and filling it.

"What do you recommend?" Naruto asked.

"The Chef's Special today is a chicken pasta salad in a creamy cheese sauce," the waiter suggested. "It has-"

"That will be fine," Naruto cut in. "Two of those, please."

"Of course Sir. Would you like some ice for the wine?"

Sasuke shook his head, eyeing the bottle on the table as though he wanted to drown himself in it.

"No, that will be fine," Naruto smiled, giving him a nod which was returned as the waiter walked away.

"The wine will be gone before it needs to be cooled down," Sasuke remarked, picking up his glass and finishing half of it. He stood once more, sighing in defeat. "Go on- which way is it?"

"Sasuke, you're such a pervert!" Naruto remarked, trying to stifle his laughter. "Those poor women!"

"Do you have a better idea?" Sasuke seethed, trying to still the blush on his cheeks. "I look like a woman therefore I have to act like a woman. Now which way?"

Naruto pointed in the right direction to the women's bathroom, choking slightly as he attempted to not laugh hysterically. "Don't stand up, will you?"

Sasuke looked as though he was seconds away from smacking Naruto senseless, settling for stamping on his foot as he walked past. Naruto yelped and pulled his foot back under the table, nursing it as he did so.

Watching Sasuke soon picked his spirits back up- he was clearly trying to blatantly ignore the men staring at him. One did have the cheek to pinch his ass as he walked past, causing Sasuke to spin back round with surprising speed with one fist slightly raised to hit whoever the hell it was. He lowered it though- the restraint took a lot of effort, Naruto could see. He wished he could see the man's face- Sasuke didn't look very feminine as he narrowed his eyes sharply at him before turning round and continuing.

Once he was out of sight, Naruto sighed and picked up his water with a smile. This was nice. Sure, it wasn't what either of them had planned, though he had to admit he wasn't entirely sure what Sasuke's plan was going to be once he was dressed up. Regardless, they were both certainly getting a spontaneous evening.

He was busy staring contently into his water when he sensed Sasuke practically throwing himself down opposite him, clearly unimpressed.

"I see someone couldn't keep his hands to himself," he pointed out, glancing up at Sasuke.

Sasuke glared at him. "That someone is lucky I didn't want to get us thrown out."

"And here was me thinking you were trying to act ladylike by not pounding him into the floor."

"That comes later," Sasuke replied with a wink and a smirk, picking up his wine. Naruto grinned back- that sounded like a welcome invitation.

-.-.-

By the time they were walking out the door to leave, Sasuke had relaxed a lot. Naruto did think the empty bottle of wine might have had something to do with it however, and not his boyfriend becoming comfortable with his current disguise.

"Come on, the taxi should be here in a minute," Naruto said, pulling on Sasuke's arm slightly to get him to stand upright. It didn't help- Sasuke was on his knees the moment Naruto let go. "Or stay there," Naruto suggested instead with a shrug and a sigh. "Don't throw up in the taxi, I don't have any money left and they'll charge us."

"I'm not going to," Sasuke told him, pulling himself back to his feet. "I'm not that drunk."

"Drunk enough that you can't stand up," Naruto chided. "Lightweight."

"It's these shoes."

"Uh huh. Of course it is."

Sasuke was looking at him strangely, he realised. His eyes looked wickedly lusty and within moments Naruto found himself pinned up against the wall of the restaurant with Sasuke kissing him reverently. He soon returned the favour, slipping one hand under the tartan skirt and caressing the silk beneath it as he did so.

Sasuke pulled away, giving Naruto a grin. "I'm a woman and you're a man. No-one will say a thing, will they?"

Naruto knew exactly what he meant- on the occasions they came out as a couple, they were careful to keep their hands to themselves to avoid unwanted attention.

"They might say something if they notice your skirt raised at the front like that in a very unladylike manner," he pointed out. "Save it until we get home."

"They won't see a thing when I'm pushed up against you," Sasuke breathed in his ear, leaning in to kiss Naruto once more. Naruto didn't have the will to argue- nor did he want to because it felt oh so good.

"We should look out for the taxi," he said, pulling away from Sasuke's cherry lips regretfully after a much-too-short moment. "It would be rude to keep them waiting."

"You're keeping me waiting."

"I can't lay you down and fuck you right here, can I?"

"I wish you could," Sasuke whispered into Naruto's ear, nibbling it gently as he did so. Naruto pushed him off, glancing up and down the street. He spotted a white taxi sitting nearby and indicated it, trying to ignore what Sasuke had just said.

"That might be for us," he said, heading off towards it. Sasuke brushed the front of his skirt down as best he could, hoping his problem wouldn't be too noticeable. He jogged after Naruto, his heels clicking on the pavement as he did so. He was becoming far too good at walking in them, he noted to himself.

"It is," Naruto called to him, indicating he hurry up. "Come on."

Naruto climbed into the back and Sasuke joined him, strategically placing his hands in his lap just in case the driver chose to turn round. Naruto smirked at him and he ignored it, far too occupied with attempting to calm himself slightly.

Naruto gave directions to the driver who nodded and set off, leaving them to sit silently and tensely in the back seat. He stole a glance out of the corner of his eye to Sasuke, noting his flushed cheeks and edgy eyes. Oh he wanted it so badly. Naruto licked his lips slightly- he wondered if he could draw some begging out of him dressed like that?

He quickly stopped that train of thought. They were sitting in the back of a taxi and they didn't want to scar the poor driver by fucking in his back seat, did they now?

Well- the answer was yes, but they were also both sensible. Besides, the tension between them now would make the moment they were able rip each other's clothes off fantastic.

The moment the taxi pulled up outside their house Naruto yanked a note from his pocket, telling the driver to keep the change as they clambered out of the car. The man nodded his appreciation, giving them a wave before he drove off.

They had the decency to wait until he was out of their line of sight before Naruto grabbed Sasuke's wrist and dragged him down the garden path. Sasuke didn't need to be dragged however- he broke free and reached the front door before Naruto did. He already had his key in his hand- Naruto noted he must have taken it from his pocket when they were still in the taxi.

"You must really want it," he breathed in Sasuke's ear as Sasuke pushed the door open. They stepped inside, Naruto barely getting a moment to shut the door before Sasuke had started unbuttoning his shirt for him.

"No," he said, putting a hand on Sasuke's chest. "What do you say?"

"Fuck me now?" Sasuke answered, batting Naruto's hand away and going for the buttons again.

"Wrong answer," Naruto replied, grabbing Sasuke's wrist and pushing him off more forcefully. "The correct answer is 'please'."

Sasuke stared at him incredulously. "What?"

"Just be glad I'm not making you say 'please Sir'," Naruto purred, giving Sasuke a wide grin.

"Oh no you don't," Sasuke told him. "I think you've had enough humiliation out of me today."

He pinned Naruto bodily against the wall, continuing to unbutton the baby blue shirt he was wearing. Naruto pushed him off, still giving him that lecherous grin. He pushed Sasuke away from him slightly as he finished unbuttoning the shirt, pushing him down to his knees roughly.

"Ow," Sasuke muttered as he hit the hardwood floor with a bang, glaring up at Naruto and aiming to stand. Naruto shook his head, keeping his hands on Sasuke's shoulders and keeping him on the floor.

"You're not getting a thing until you ask nicely," he remarked. "Like a good girl."

Sasuke glanced up at him, eyes narrowed before he changed demeanour completely. He put a finger to his lips, putting his knees together so he was sitting with more modesty and glanced up at Naruto. He fluttered his mascara coated eyelashes seductively, glancing up at Naruto with very un-Sasuke wide eyes.

"Please?" He asked, his voice sweet and laced with lust.

Naruto dragged him up off the floor and into the bedroom so fast their heads spun, slamming the bedroom door shut behind them.

"You utter bastard," he uttered as he herded Sasuke over to the bed.

"That's what you wanted, wasn't it?" Sasuke asked with a smirk, allowing himself to be roughly thrown down onto the bed.

"I didn't expect you to do it," Naruto replied huskily, shrugging his open shirt off as he knelt down above Sasuke.

Sasuke looked up at him, an evil glint in his eye. "Now who's the one who 'wants it'?"

Naruto captured his lips with a kiss, running a hand up Sasuke's thigh and under skirt once more. He wasn't going to answer that question out loud, but he had a distinct feeling it was both of them.

-.-.-

Author's Note: I've never been one for writing hardcore smut. The imagination is a wonderful tool and tends to be better anyway! :)

I'm back from my little break! The horrible first trimester morning sickness part of my pregnancy is over (finally), and I'm back in the swing of things for now. I'm hoping to get a lot done over the summer since I don't know how much free time I'll have when the baby arrives in October- and I strongly suspect it will be 'none' :)

Thanks for reading!