Disclaimer: Freedom is the right of all sentient beings! I own nothing, other than my own OC's and story plots.

A/N this takes place before Chase, Formen or Cameron left. and before JD became a resident doctor at Sacred Heart .

" speaking"

' thoughts'

Is there a Doctor in the House?

By MiniMedic

Chapter 1

The ambulance pulled up into the medical centers parking lot with a light sigh of his intakes. Scanning a nearby SUV, he deemed a decent temporary disguise Ratchet parked his alt mode and activated his holoform. Looking to be a brunette man in his late 20's to early 30's .. Most humans found age difficult to perceive with holoforms, and their electric blue eyes somewhat unsettling. Wearing black slacks and a white button down long sleeved shirt the medic made his way toward the front entrance of Princeton- Plainsboro Hospital.

Being the Autobot chief medical officer, Ratchet was well versed in his species medical practices. After landing on Earth, Prime had suggested he learn a bit about human medical procedure as well, emergency treatment and diagnoses at the very least… and he had agreed with is superior… having already downloaded many medical files and information. Having knowledge of something and putting it into practice was another matter all together. They had decided he would, at the very least, need a little 'hands on experience' in the field. All the statistics had pointed to Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital being the best human medical center for diagnostics.

Dr. Cuddy had taken the news rather well, when it was delivered by their Military liaison. Screaming for only half an hour, staring dumbly, demanding proof and then screaming again; before convincing herself that a Dr. House hadn't broken her processor. Accepting the fact that her planet was inhabited by a rather, large alien species as well as her own had been difficult. The women had even met Prime and Ratchet himself without too much incident. Only given a few days to recover Dr Cuddy, trembling slightly, asked them what they wanted…not bad for a professional. She handled the news well for a being so young. The woman bristled at their request, despite being frightened, unknowingly earning the CMO's respect, by not trusting her patients with an unknown alien entity.

Prime assured her that all precaution had been taken. Numerous tests and simulations had been run, insuring that all side affects on organics by Cybertronion's in their natural state were beneficial, if any effects occurred at all and their holoforms giving off too little spark energy to be noticed without constant, long term exposure. Dr. Cuddy had agreed finally only on the condition that whatever medical advances they made would be available to her staff, within reason and compliance with Cybertronian laws of course. The Dean of medicine had suggested Dr. Ratchet come with in a few weeks' time. Another medical practitioner was coming to study under Dr. House… and it would effectively "Kill two birds with one stone...And save my sanity." ... What ever that had meant.

So here he was standing patiently by the nurses' station, stance slightly ridged due to over a millennia of military discipline. " Would you please direct me to a Dr. Lisa Cuddy?" The brunette asked the blond nurse quietly. The young woman looked up at him with tired green eyes, gaping a moment at his unnaturally bright optics before nodding slowly.

"Just a moment please.." the nurse replied reaching for the desk phone to contact her superior. Ratchet stood patiently, sharp optics taking in his surroundings. He found the ER not too far away, the small waiting area packed with patients in need of attention. The Autobot CMO automatically took note of the injured, his processor quickly scanning internet medical files and sorting patients by damage.. or what he could see anyway. Ratchet's medical scanners didn't work while in his holoform, something to do with his advanced medical sensors/programming and the holo sensors not relaying to his true forms processor via his spark link; that or a glitch in the holo program itself ... Wheeljack and Hound were working on correcting the malfunction. That didn't change the fact that it wasn't fixed yet or the fact that not being able to scan an individual and 'see' the damage himself irked the over protective CMO to no end.

Now being a well-versed and practiced medical officer, not to mention over millennia of war, Ratchet understood procedure more than any other. Lethal and serious damage was treated first….but that didn't stop his spark from twisting at the sight of a frantic female holding a whimpering sparkling to her chest… 'Primus a sparkling…Injured of all things.. Why the frag isn't the little femme getting medical attention!?..' The CMO mentally growled having to actively control himself. If that had happened with his staff, heads would roll ...and they still might, weather this was his medbay or not!

Offspring were so incredibly rare among Cybertronians, precious creatures to be treated with the utmost care, not left leaking and in pain! A rather large bit of cloth wrapped tightly around the younglings arm was coated in blood. The sparkling's female creator was trying to calm the child and stem the blood flow. After doing a quick Internet search he walked over to the pair and knelt beside the younglings creator.

"Who.." the red headed female asked puzzled, looking at him with worried optics.

"I'm a Doctor." Ratchet explained quietly watching the sandy haired youngling intently. It had been so long since he'd treated a being so young. "What happened youngling?" the medic asked in a soft tone... the CMO's normal gruff demeanor virtually nonexistent. The little girl sniffled, clutching her creator tightly.

"I fell.. off m mm my bike.. " The youngling stammered hiding her face.

"And how long have you been here..?" Ratchet frowned directing the question toward the sparkling's creator.

" A half hour.. .. They said.. Dr. House isn't available yet… are you Dr. House?" The woman asked tiredly.

"No." Ratchet's frown deepened at the remark. ' A half HOUR?!' Using a surgeon's delicate touch he gently took hold of the girls arm to see the wound. It wasn't too bad… a rather wide gash... but not deep… and the leakage had almost stopped all together…it would thankfully require stitches to close the wound and nothing more. However the girl had lost more fluid than he would have liked. Adjusting the blood soaked towel so that it was properly in place. "It's not serious... however it will require stitches… I'll see that Dr. House gets to you as soon as possible." The woman sighed in relief, seeming to already know the information but hearing it from a professional confirmed and eased her fears. Ratchet stood automatically going to the next waiting patient. One after another he checked them until a nurse had the audacity to scold him.

"What are you doing? You're not a doctor here." The older plump woman had demanded in a haughty tone. Ratchet currently kneeled on the floor, calming yet another upset and damaged sparkling looked up at the woman barely able to keep his temper in check. He stood setting his jaw and fixing her with an icy glare.

"I am merely assisting these people.. Which is more than I can say for you." Ratchet kept his tone level.. or as level as he could with the light growl in his throat. The nurse squeaked in response taking a step back as he glared daggers through her. The CMO had been in the ER for almost an hour... and still no Dr. House...Another medical officer had taken patients ... If someone hadn't the medic would have raised Pit and put the fear of Primus into them…. However this did not change the fact that most of the patients in the room were assigned to this Dr. House. The man had fragg'n well better have a good explanation for abandoning his patients… or there would be 'Hell to pay'. "More importantly madam… Where is Dr. House?" Ratchet glowered, his holoform's hand twitched missing his tools.

"Mr. Ratchet?" a soft tired voice called from the nurse's station. "Dr. Cuddy can see you now." The medic nodded to the blond nurse at the counter, she was working her aft off and he intended to see that it wouldn't go unnoticed. The woman directed him toward the Dean's office and the Autobot quickly made his way through the hallways, his temper easing somewhat. He fully intended to get to the bottom of this.. Surly Dean Cuddy knew where this House was… 'Did Dr. House have another more pressing matter to attend?.. A fatally damaged or malfunctioning patient? …That would explain it...' Ratchet's thoughts were disrupted however when he heard a shout coming from behind an office door, lettering indicating that this was indeed the Dean of Medicine's office.

"Now Cuddy I know I'm just a shining example and role model… but I am not playing babysitter… Get Cameron to do it. Kiddies love her.. " A snarky gruff tone floated through the door.

"House.. We've been through this.." Dr. Cuddy's voice followed in an agitated tone. "Can you at least TRY to be professional?.."

"…ummm.. let me see.. Nope! That's your job." A bright reply followed. Ratchet started to enter then stopped himself.. Remembering the human custom the CMO lightly rapped his knuckles on the doorframe.

"Come in." The woman called then in a low growl clearly directed toward the other party in the room.. " House.. Behave."

The medic entered to find a haggard looking man standing to the side… dressed in a light blue shirt and tweed suit. Leaning heavily on a cane, the unshaven man stood quietly, observing with intelligent blue eyes in an almost bored manner.

"… I apologize for keeping you waiting.." Cuddy forced a nervous smile at the brunette, still uncomfortable with what he was. Seeing the Autobot looking so human was unnerving, perhaps more so than the knowledge that Cuddy herself was the only one in the entire medical facility who did know the truth... Sitting at her desk, dressed in a dark business suit the female shifted uneasily. Dr. Cuddy was as Ratchet remembered her.. Dark curly hair framed her faceplates and kind but slightly worried optics shifted from the CMO to the other man in the room.

"No apologies necessary…I made myself useful." Ratchet nodded polity to the woman, who paled at the latter part of the sentence.

oooooooooooooooooo

From the corner of the room bright eyes took in every moment with mild interest. Leaning heavily on his cane Gregory House sighed. Oh how his inner child hated being ignored… but wait… blue eyes flicked between the dean and the new comer.. Cuddy was nervous… not just anyone got under Lisa Cuddy's skin, he should know..… House's mind turned forming questions… questions that needed answers.. There was something Cuddy wasn't telling him… He could see it as if it was written on a billboard. Now.. To figure out what..

oooooooooooooooooooo

"Dr. Ratchet.. I'd like you to meet Dr. House... You'll be under his tutelage " Cuddy introduced them trying to keep her poise… then checking her wrist watch. " The other member of our party should be here any time now."

"Ratchet?.." Dr. House scoffed limping up to the desk. " Your name is RATCHET?."

"House!" Cuddy scolded with a half sharp half frightened look.

"You're named after a tool?" House continued ignoring the woman and giving the medic a mocking look. The CMO regarded the human, his faceplates twitching slightly. So.. This was the infamous Dr. House.

"You're named after a building.. at least I'm useful." Ratchet commented in a cool mocking tone of his own. House stared at the medic a moment in slight shock before recovering himself, a light smirk playing on his lips... by the guys ridged stance and body language House hadn't expected a return fire. Oh .. this could be fun…

A knock sounded like a thunderclap making Cuddy jump. "Come in." she called swallowing hard to maintain her composure. God she needed a drink… a rather strong one. The door opened reveling a scowling blond haired man looking to be in his 40's. Wearing jeans and a white t-shirt he glared them viciously before walking into the room.. Giving off the notion that he would rather be anywhere but here.

"Gentlemen.. May I introduce Dr. Perry Cox." Cuddy said almost tiredly. There was a slight moment of tension as the three regarded one another.

"Hahaha!.. You're name is Cox.." House outright laughed now leaning against the desk as Ratchet quirked an optic at them.

"House!" Cuddy scolded as the new male shot him a look that Ratchet was sure, had it been possible, could have killed the human.

Gregory House grinned blue eyes shining in delight. Oooo Hohooo .. This could be fun indeed!

A/N

Mini: (grins) So .. the epic meeting between Ratchet, Dr. House and Dr. Cox…. I have no idea where I'm going with this.. It might just be a one-shot.. it might develop into a story… who knows...Tell me what ya think? Good, bad, lame?

God this is going to give me a headache... The three of them are so similar but so different... it's going to be hard to keep them straight and make it work believably, I can already tell… Now.. don't worry.. I'm not giving up on any of my other writings.. I'm still working on them .. I don't intend on abandoning anything.

I'm a bit miffed... I tried writing this 3 times and had to start over cause my computer crashed. And it's still not as good as the first draft was… Ah well.. I hope I did them justice...

Ratchet: (glares at me) You Berth.. NOW!

Sides: O.o .. Do you have any idea how that can be taken…

Ratchet: (optic twitches)

Mini: EWWW!! Sides! (Throws clip board at him… and winces) Damn..

Sides: (grins dodging the clipboard) serves you right! (pouts) throwing stuff at me.

Ratchet: Give..

Mini: It's fine.. I'm gona go to bed..

Ratchet: (glares) my patients is already short with you youngling …don't push it.

Mini: (sighs) Fine.. (Holding out hands) ... just don't scream at me..

Ratchet: (optic twitches after scanning them) not only did you work yourself into a cluster headache... Not two solar cycles ago… You've overworked BOTH your wrists, hands and a knee joint!

Mini: um.. well the reports needed to be done.. and.. I know I wasn't on repair duty so..

Ratchet: The reports can fragg'n wait! And if Prowl says otherwise he can deal with me!

Sides: (grinning) Not to mention she hasn't recharged nor refueled properly in the past TWO solar cycles ether…

Mini: (hisses) Sideswipe!! (glares at him) I fragg'n hate you..

Sides: (grins) It's only cause I care…

Ratchet: PRIMUS! ARE YOU TRYING TO OFFLINE YOURSELF?

Mini: (winces) crap.. Wait.. Ratch I'm ok! I promise.. I .Put me down! ...But no! My computer! Don't..jojen

Ratchet: Don't give me that look youngling… You can have it back when and ONLY when. you've had a decent recharge cycle. And I see that your self-recovery systems have adequately repaired the damages.