Tactics:

How To Steal A Hakama With Father Edwards

Rating:T-M

Pairings:Edwards x Kantarou (his Hakama really) & Haruka x Kantarou

Disclaim: Do not own the series, the series owns me, well Haruka and Kantarou do anyways (Fan Girlish giggles)

Warning: Boy x Boy, Man x Clothing Love and some bashing too, maybe a little bit of OOC-ness... yes I'm just that evil (insert evil laughter here)

Summary: Father Edwards displays his handy work when he tries to steal Kantarou's Hakama in the middle of the night with Kantarou still in them

Hakama-maniac Strikes again!!

It's all very simple once you've done it in a few occasions, since that visit he took once into the Ichinomiya household, he has a perfect photographic memory, Father Edwards turned his head from one side to another while opening the front door, after he unlocked it that is. He looked one way, then another, his target was yet not in sight…

If your wondering what happened to the other Hakama that he had so wittingly borrowed, it was then taken from him by his partner Raikou, what ever he wanted with it was a mystery even to him and he was suppose to be the Hakama-maniac. He was rather heart broken when he found it gone, it left him in tears until he realised he could go back and get another one.

As quiet as a mouse, he wondered quietly down the hallway, making sure not to wake up any of the residence that were inside the household, if that did happen then Father Edwards was going to get another slap from Kantarou and that was something that the priest didn't want. Especially that guy Haruka, the guy threatened if he ever did something like that again then it wouldn't be Kantarou who would slap him or even a slap; of course this was out of the folklorist's ear shot of course.

Edwards continued to make his way near the stairs until he heard something that stopped him in his tracks, he could hear gentle breathing, gentle breathing that sounded very familiar and it was coming from the tea room that was directed at his right. He quietly peeked through the door and what he found made his eyes grow big with excitement, he found the folklorist, he found the hakama.

The young man's body was laid out on the floor, his hakama hanging dangerously loose, the steady easy rise of his chest and half written documents on his desk. Kantarou was soundly asleep and for the priest that was a good thing, he tipped on his toes over to the sleeping young man, he was almost drooling over the clothing that was wrapped around Kantarou's body. The hem, the ribbon, he felt like he was going to scream from it's totally well formed design.

"Mm…" Kantarou shifted a bit, Edwards flinched thinking he was going to wake up, it made his heart skip a beat then calmed once he realised that Kantarou was only shifting a little bit to get comfortable.

As much as he hated to remove such luxurious garments from an adorable young man with silver hair and huge ruby eyes, he wanted a Hakama and he couldn't be bothered to run upstairs and get one out of the wardrobe. Father Edwards may not look it but he's very clumsy, one time while working in a Church in England he was sneaking around for a Nun's outfit and accidentally fell through a hole through the roof and landing into the Head Nun's bedroom, on her bed apparently, with her in it…

He was scared for life and he learnt his lesson…

Well until he had an obsession with a tuxedo over in New York, and that was a day to remember…

This however was going to be the toughest one that came running his way to date. Father Edwards never actually practiced taking the clothes off someone who is actually wearing them, then again, Father Edwards loves it when he's given a new challenge that would test his capabilities to the limit, how far that limit goes is really anyone's guess if you're a genius or a Hakama-maniac. Father Edwards slowly knelt down near Kantarou's slumbering form, his hands softly grasping unto the ribbon that held it together.

Slowly pulling it so that it would be untied, this was only the beginning on how Edwards was going to get this removed, if only everything in life was easy, then again where was the fun in that. Edwards knew that more than anyone, remember the time when you first met Raikou Minamoto? You got him so drunk that he was practically muttering in his drunken stupor about how Ibaragi was being a control freak.

Who is Ibaragi anyways?

Never mind that, shake head to get rid of those thoughts and get back to business…

Edwards gently slid the bottom half of the Hakama off Kantarou's legs, it was a shock that silver haired boy's legs were so skinny they remind him on a young woman's. Edwards felt a bit tempted to run a hand down Kantarou's snow white skinned thigh, the priest could feel his cheeks turning red when the thought had occured, so he immediately shock it out of his system

He was a priest damn it!

Not a pervert!!

A priest, remember the oath that you made on the day you became a fully fledged priest!! Remember the rules!! To feel such a way with another man was considered a sin…

But then again he was stealing someone's clothing wasn't that also considered a sin?

Edwards stopped for a moment, thinking before shaking it off with a mental giggle…

Back to business…

Kantarou was still asleep; it was amazing at how deep a sleeper the folklorist is. Father Edwards had to admit, he did seem pretty cute like a…

Snap out of it Father Edwards!! You're here for the Hakama nothing more, nothing less!! Now start removing the top half!!

Father Edwards placed a knee in between Kantarou's legs, so that he could steady himself while removing the top half. Slowly gripping one of the collars, Edwards gently slithered an arm under Kantarou's waist, moving the young man's body against his chest, sliding it off the silver haired boy's shoulders. Kantarou's shoulders were so slender, they looked really smooth, and it was tempting to touch him.

Mental Slap

'Look Edwards you came here for the Hakama!! Not to cup a feel!! Besides it is a sin to be attracted to another man!!'

'But it's sooo hard'

'What are you a pervert, your supposed to be a priest so act like a priest or else!!'

It was at this moment that Father Edwards accidentally pressed his knees firmly in between against Kantarou's legs. Pressing against a very sensitive area and this could only men big trouble for the poor priest...

"Aagh!"

(Youkai Of Hearts: His fate has been sealed (Sips Tea) Don't bother helping him, he deserves to face the creepiest punishment that not even the devil would dare to wonder for it would be complete disaster!! Besides...My ways Better : ) )

He was dead, no matter what god would do to him; it wasn't going to be anything but painless

There was a flicker of eyelids, one, two; Kantarou's innocent red eyes went wide open about to let out a horrified scream which was immediately halted by a hand. "It's not what it looks like, I swear to god…"

"Mm…Kantarou are you still down here?" this was so not his lucky day, Haruka had now entered into the room in his kimono, dark onyx eyes unmoving at the scene that was in front of him, probably still half asleep. It looked as if Kantarou was about to cry, his cheeks were turning a bright pink.

"Huh?" Haruka has now finally grasped the situation and realising what was going on didn't really make things any better for Father Edwards either. The dark haired Tengu dropped his head down to his chest, a dark demonic shadow looming over his eyes until he raised a hand, his staff taking shape as it appeared in his hands. Haruka meant business, he raised his head, demonic whites staring at the jet black haired man

Edwards was dead...

"I warned you didn't I priest?! I warned you!!"

"I swear to you that it's not what you think!!"

Outside the Ichinomiya home there was a huge scream as lightning fell down upon the household, followed by a demonic laughter that said something like die or was it a scream like... Hands off my Kantarou you pervert…

(Youkai Of Hearts: You did say that right? Haruka: …)

Meanwhile…

In a mansion far, far away, Ayame Minamoto was wide awake in her bed, carefully listening to her older brother who was supposed to be sleeping next door, Ayame could hear a couple of breathless awes and pants coming from Raikou's room, needless to say, it was scaring the poor child. She placed a couple of knocks unto the wall.

"Big brother what are you doing in there?"

Raikou jumped, suddenly being interrupted by his innocent little sister while he was drooling over something completely pretty wasn't what he was intending. He quickly raised the bed covers closer to him before making a breathless reply to his precious Ayame; he didn't want her to get any weird ideas.

"Ah! Nothing, nothing!! Just reading something" this was followed with a nervous giggle. After a while, Raikou pulled out a pretty white and red Hakama, his eyes going all lovey dovey at the very sight of it. He cuddled the piece of clothing close to him, Raikou could smell the Ichinomiya's scent, it was so alluring and intoxicating.

"Who loves you baby…"

Raikou settled himself back unto his pillow, hugging the Hakama like a little boy with his favourite teddy bear about to sleep soundly and being whisked away to the world of dreams, he was so glad that he got his hands on the Hakama from Father Edwards, it was the best decision he ever made…

Although that's not exactly how Ibaragi and Watanabe see it…

"Oh brother…he's been like this for months…why doesn't he just get the person that was wearing the clothes!!" Ibaragi growled, feeling a little bit of jealousy gnawing at her nerves. Watanabe on the other hand, pulled his hat over his eyes

"You crazy…an attempted assault charge would look really bad for his permanent record…"

"Hmm…Still…this makes him look like a disturbed desperate perv"

The End!!

Youkai Of Hearts: I should've added Raikou x Hakama… Nah…I had it in my head to do something with Father Edwards and his desperate obsession with Kantarou's Hakama…

I'll get back to my serious fic now…

Youkai Of Hearts out!!