A/N: I remember my first contact with Go was when I was about eight years old. I stopped playing when my school stopped offering Go lessons in the Go club. When I was fourteen or fifteen, my friend recommended Hikaru no Go to me. I didn't exactly immediately dive into the game. It was one year later, which is now, that I became almost obsessed with Go. That is the reason why I'm writing a Hikaru no Go fanfic. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: A dog as strolling along the road happily; its tail wagging at a blurry speed. Its tongue hung out in a typical doggy way and a constant drip of saliva could be seen. If one wanted to look that is. No one did.

Suddenly pausing, the dog sniffed the air for a few moments before leaping off to the horizon.

It stopped a few seconds later, and began barking incessantly, its tail wagging even faster if that was possible.

An old lady's voice suddenly growled. It seemed to be emitting from somewhere beneath the soil covered in blue snow.

"Shut up! Ao yuki does not own Hikaru no Go! Now cease your mindless barking before you wake up the dead!"

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Chapter 1

"Shinnnndou-sensei!"

A young boy with a head of spiky blue hair made a beeline towards a young man seated in front of a goban. He didn't seem to notice the other patron's amused looks and annoyed gnashing of teeth at their interrupted game. His chubby face was filled the sort of childish glee, innocence and pure excitement that only a child could have.

Shindou Hikaru – the current holder of the title Tengen and fighting for the Gosei title, he was proud to admit – turned around, an equally wide grin on his face.

Almost immediately, he was tackled by the said young boy. He felt the boy's arms wrapped around him tightly. Immediately after that, he was released. The boy seemed to vibrate in excitement. Eyes shining, he exclaimed loudly.

"Shindou-sensei! I won the tournament! I won! I really did! At first, I really thought I'll lose... Cause the opponent was really really strong and he had me totally trapped! I so sad, you know. Cause I couldn't see a way out at all! But then, I remembered that you told to persevere till the end, so I..." The young boy babbled on animatedly, arms waving all around.

Hardly containing the burst of happiness at that announcement, Hikaru suppressed the urge to grab the boy and swing him around in delight. He was supposed to be the mature adult here. Yoshiku was one of his first students. Ever. Among the rest, he also happened to be the one that had the most potential. That wasn't to say that his other students weren't talented. They were. But Yoshiku was just... noticeably talented in a different way.

He reminded him of Sai.

Hikaru smiled genially and gently patted the young boy on his head, when what he really wanted to do was to do a tap dance. He didn't know how to do a tap dance, but hey. It was the thought that counted, right?

"Hey, hey, slow down! That's great, Yoshiku-kun! I know how much you wanted to win. I'm sure your parents are very proud of you now."

Beaming a smile that threatened to split his face into half, the young boy named Yoshiku nodded his head fervently. He subsequently broke out dancing wildly in celebration.

Caught up in the moment, Hikaru leaped up from his seiza posture and began to dance with Yoshiku too, twirling him around, laughing happily, and generally ignoring the amused annoyed looks from the other Go players in the Go salon. They didn't manage to do a tap dance, but there were certainly a lot of thumping and thuds.

'A leopard never changes its spots' could be a saying that described Hikaru, except Hikaru would describe himself more of a dinosaur than a leopard. He was aware that unlike most people, he still had the energy of a hyperactive little child. Or chipmunk, as Akari once said. Despite trying his best to be more sedated, Hikaru never quite managed the calm façade that his best friend and rival had, although he could and would match him in the intensity.

The excitement soon died down, and both Hikaru and Yoshiku stopped their insane dance of happiness. Yoshiku's mother arrived at the Go salon to pick up her child, bowing profusely for her child making a fuss in the salon. Finally, Hikaru was left again with an empty goban in front of him.

Hikaru took a glance at his watch. The smile slid off his face almost as fast as it had appeared. Memories of a particular individual came unbidden to his mind – of white ethereal cloth and the snap of a fan. With a heavy heart, he stood up and left the salon. He was vaguely aware of some patron's concerned looks. But he wanted to be left alone, and didn't acknowledge them. Most of them had practically known him since he was a little brat and had seen him grow up and changed into the fine young man that he was now. At least, he thought of himself as a fine young man.

It was a routine. Every time the fifth of May rolled by, he would leave exactly at the same time with a sombre expression, and return the next day with an even more sombre one.

Besides himself, he wagered that no one knew quite what happened on the fifth of May. But no one ever really asked either.

To the rest of the patrons, it was obviously personal and as much as Hikaru was a ball of extremely loud sunshine on most days, he was strangely private person.

So they watched on, as he stepped out from the salon. The sound of thunder rumbled in the distance.

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Rain pelted down like an endless waterfall.

A young man, not really a man and yet could hardly be called a boy, walked silently up the steps leading up to Honinbo Shuusaku's tomb. With each step he took, rainwater splashed against his legs and soaked his pants further. However, he seemed oblivious to his surroundings. The black umbrella he had was useless in face of the torrent of rain. One could scarcely see further than ten metres in front, yet the young man with his bleach bangs was walking with a well practised ease and determination of someone that had walked up the steps many times. From afar, other than the blurry outline of a person holding onto a black umbrella, he was unrecognisable; un-human even. One could almost mistake him for a ghost drifting aimlessly about, given the location.

Finally, he stopped. He had reached his destination.

For a moment, he did nothing but stared at the headstone in front of him. There was sorrow in his eyes, fondness, and regrets. The headstone was nothing more than a grave marker. It was unadorned, and due to the years of standing up to mother nature, showed signs of wear and tear. Hikaru wasn't a poetic person. To him, a stone was a stone. People could carve and decorated it, but it was still a stone.

It bore the name of the greatest Go player that ever lived. But that didn't matter. The person he was looking for wasn't there.

He knew that. He knew with the coldness and clarity of a rational mind that he wasn't there. Hikaru did. But the stone was the closest he could find. It was his routine now. On the same day every year, he always ended up in front of Shuusaku's tomb in Innoshima. The only year he didn't was when he had drunk so much sake that he'd passed out.

And he visited the tomb the next day anyway. It was like a habit that he couldn't ever bear to kick.

He knew that there was a similar headstone in Tokyo, but it didn't give him the same feeling that the one in Innoshima did. Years passed since his mentor's disappearance, and many more things had happened in his absence. But there was no way he could ever forget the one person that had taught him far more that he deserved.

His mentor, Fujiwara no Sai.

"Sai, do you remember the kid I told you about? Yoshiku? Yeah. He won the tournament I signed him up for." Hikaru gave a lop-sided smile at the headstone.

"He came dashing into the Go salon and kept thanking me, babbling about all sorts of things..." At that he trailed off, suddenly remembering something. "Hey... I just remembered... I never got to thank you, did I?" He looked down and shuffled his feet.

It was Sai that made him saw the world in another perspective, through the eyes of Go. It was Sai that gave him a direction in life. And he never even said a single thanks to him.

"Hehe. Without you, Sai, I would probably still be the stupid idiot that I was.'

At that, he scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"Not that I'm really smart now or anything..."

Images flashed across his mind. All the times when Sai would whine at him for a game of Go, the moment when Sai was excitedly waving his hand around at the discovery of Netgo, and the first time that Sai was crying because of his first game against Grandpa. If he had been smarter, he would have understood how Sai felt. Maybe then he wouldn't disappear without a trace.

Unknowingly, his hand was clutching onto something in his pocket. Hikaru slowly took it out.

It was a fan.

Hikaru stared at the fan – the intricate designs, though could be called pretty by some, was lacking in his eyes. He had purchased the paper fan three years back on an impulse and it had stayed with him since. The falseness of machinery work could never replace the handmade one that Sai had. Hikaru clenched both his fist tightly, one hand holding onto the umbrella, the other hand with the fan. Abruptly, he unclenched his fists. With a barely heard 'thud' over the sounds of the downpour, both items fell. Even before it hit the ground, Hikaru knew that the fan was now destroyed.

"Sai..." he whispered, a choked sound at the back of his throat. Water coursed down his cheeks. Was it the rain, or were they tears? He didn't know. Maybe it was a mixture of both.

Annoyed, he tried to swipe them away. What rights did he have to cry over Sai like that? He had wanted Sai to disappear, wished that he had never appeared in his life. He had denied himself the right to mourn over Sai's disappearance the moment he tried to deny Sai's existence.

Regret, guilt, and rage at himself made Hikaru felt the acute sense of loss all over again. It was as if Sai had just left and he still had the hope that he would come back someday. The hope was the part where it hurt most. Go had helped to make some of the pain go away. It was a small area, but it had to be better than nothing. Sai was in his Go, wasn't he? Mentally he knew Sai wasn't coming back. But he still wished he would. Humans were never all that rational.

A sharp pain abruptly shot through his palm. Quickly, he unclenched his fist, only to find that blood had appeared on his palm at the places where his fingernails dug deep into the flesh. Shock filtered across his face before a small frown quickly replaced it.

Hikaru looked up at the headstone again.

"Sai... I don't know if I'll come back next year..." Hikaru said with an uncharacteristic frown. Somehow, he had the feeling that most probably by next year at the exact same time, he would still be standing at that same spot. "I don't think I can take this anymore, you know? I just... I just want to tell you how grateful I am to you. Preferably face to face..." Hikaru shrugged. "But what can I do? Shuusaku-san, if you ever see Sai, please tell him Shindou Hikaru says thank you, ok?"

Carefully, Hikaru allowed himself to kneel down in front of the headstone. With his eyes closed, kowtowed once, wishing that Sai would be happy wherever he may be now. On the second kowtow, he sent a plea for Sai to appear before him again, even if it was for one minute. On the third kowtow, he beseeched for a chance, just a small one, to do everything right again.

He didn't even know who he was praying for anymore. For him to finally be released from his guilt? Or for Sai?

There was a voice at the back of his mind, nagging at him to be careful of what he wished for. That same voice also said with a wise voice that sounded somewhat like Sai that 'talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity'.

As he knew it would, nothing happened.

'Geez, look now what you've done, Sai. I've become a crybaby...' Hikaru shook his head.

Giving a small laugh that was devoid of any joy, Hikaru bowed his head once more, and tried to stand up. He shivered as he stood up, already regretting coming when it was raining so heavily.

He sighed and turned to leave.

Hikaru never saw it coming. As soon as he took a step, the ground started shaking.

"What the...! An earthquake?!"

It started with mild vibrations. But within a few seconds, the trembling got worse. It felt as if the Earth itself had been thrown into a washing machine that was set on high spin. The shaking threw Hikaru's balance off and instinctively he yelped, flailing his arms wildly in an attempt to grab hold of something . However, his arms were numbed from the cold (he really shouldn't have came in the rain), and kneeling always made his legs numb anyway.

Hikaru was tossed forward.

Maybe it was the impending impact, or maybe it was just sheer shock, but things around him seemed to move in slow motion. Seeing the stone marker getting closer and closer, Hikaru groaned about how it was going to hurt and began cursing himself for not wearing a raincoat. Squeezing his eyelids shut, with mere milliseconds to spare before his head connected with the headstone, Hikaru thought he saw his grandpa's attic, floating dust, and a younger version of himself.

Through the headstone.

Right.

Maybe he really should listen to Akira for once and go see a psychiatrist.

His head slammed onto the image in front of him.

And pain immediately seared across his head, as if it was penetrating his very thoughts and invading his soul. He let out a scream. There was pressure between his eyes and his ears. They build up until he thought it couldn't possibly build up any more. Lights, red and blue, flashed by him.

Before he could even register the fact that the pain had yet again increased, he mercifully fainted.

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A/N: That's that I guess. Chapter one's done. The second chapter's finished, but still not beta-ed. It might take a while to get it beta-ed, so prepare for quite a long wait. And before I forget, let us mourn this day, the day that Sai disappeared.

Lastly, Review.