(Not) Too Late

By Chibi Hime

Author's Note: Takes place during the Alien Force episode, Kevin's Big Score. Spoilers Abound! Characters belong to CNS.

It was a trap.

The sickening thought entered Kevin's mind as soon as he felt that massive fist close around his arm, conveniently where his shirt covered his skin making metallic absorbtion impossible.

He'd been an idiot.

He should have known it was a trap. He should have known better. He'd been sloppy and now he was going to pay for it. Kevin thought for sure the alien intended to break his arm. It was such a simple, easy move for his attacker, as if it required no effort at all. Kevin felt the bones flex, threatening to collapse. Kevin cried out and crumpled to his knees when the grip was released. For a few seconds, nothing registered, he saw stars dance before his eyes from the pain. When he was able to see again, his heart stopped dead in his chest for a whole, solid beat. He knew what it was as soon as he saw it. Most people called it Tadenite...but for years, he had personally known it as his right hand.

But that wasn't all.

He felt the familiar buzz of an electric current humming through the air.

Electrified Tadenite? Why was...oh...

Oh god, no.

Anything but that, Anything but what he'd learned the hard way. Energy was dangerous, it was erratic and not to be trusted. Living tissue, DNA in any shape or form was a definite never. Together was a recipe for disaster. The last time he'd had both in his system at the same time...oh god. He never wanted to go back to that...if he touched it, he would. Those ribbon-like tendrils wrapped around his arms, tightening cruelly on his cracked bone and pulled him terribly, certainly forward.

No.

He struggled to pull back and away, but to no avail.

Please. Please, don't let it happen...I don't want it to...

He didn't have a say in it...all his valiant trying was worth nothing in the end. His brain exploded with terrible knowing as the tips of his fingers hit the cool surface of the gem.

It is not too late...just don't let it...

But it was too late.

He couldn't even stop it from crawling up his arms, all that wild energy and genetic contamination. Panic set in, which resulted in the change accelerating with his frantic heartbeat.

Existence wasn't painful. He'd lived for years as a disgusting amalgam of inhumanity. That in itself hadn't been painful, physically, anyway...but the becoming? The becoming was something else entirely. That was something he remembered and it made his brain explode with awareness. It made his flesh extra tender in horrible anticipation. It made everything worse as the gem ravaged his body. He felt every piece of warping tissue, terrible stretching, stiffening and pulling. His whole body was twisting and there wasn't anything he could do about it. It was just like before, but there was nowhere to run or hide. He was chained, humiliated and alone, to the floor. He couldn't even move, the energy was so concentrated that it froze him into this heinous subservient position.

There was no hope. There never had been. His powers were a curse, he was sure of it. No matter how much he deceived himself that they were otherwise. If it weren't for them, his parents would have loved him. He could have really been Ben's friend and not his enemy. If he didn't have his powers, this couldn't happen and Gwen could love him. He wouldn't be alone.

He was alone...he'd always be alone. That was part of being Kevin Levin. To top it off, Ben and Gwen wouldn't even get the message from their grandfather. It was pointless. All his efforts were for nothing. The worst part was, he couldn't even complain about it. He had this coming, he knew it. On some sick, perverted level, he knew he didn't deserve any more than he had at this moment. He'd done so many terrible things and the number of good things was less than the fingers on his hand. A few failed attempts at working for the greater good didn't make up for the lifetime of ill will. If Vulcanus had his way, this was how he'd spend the rest of his days and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. He was alone and for the second time in his life, he was uniquely alone.

Or was he?

He heard Ben, but he saw Gwen first and he was struck with a compounded wave of relief and shame. Relieved that she was here, she hadn't abandoned him and ashamed that she had to see him as an...inhuman thing...again.

He felt it progressing, freezing him up. His brain screamed again, alerting him to the fact that he could no longer move anything. His eyes could dart back and forth, but that was all. He couldn't help them. Both of them were fighting his battle to save him. But what was the point? Even if they did rescue him, it wouldn't do any good. He was still trapped as a statue, more or less, for years. Just like before...except before he could move.

He heard Gwen call his name and all he could do was look at her as his heart shattered to a million little pieces. Sorrow crept into his chest and weighed heavily there.

"Are you alright?"

She asked a question that had an obvious answer...but he could not even

respond.

He couldn't tell her he was sorry. He couldn't thank her. Gwen's perfect, petite little hands were on his face and he could not even feel them. She was touching this disgusting, twisted face and he couldn't FEEL them.

Her eyes looked just as tormented as he felt. It was his fault she was hurting like that. It was his fault the only human being he had ever loved, however secretly, was in pain and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. On top of that, it was too late.

But that wasn't the end.

He could suddenly feel two warm circles on his cheeks, the feeling traveled, as if some other form of energy was working its way through his system. It was warm and gentle, not cold and harsh. It eased its way over him, as if it were a refreshing, comforting blanket. Kevin didn't know what was going on, it had certainly never happened before. But then again, Gwen had never touched his flesh, if at this point it could be called that. There had always been something between them, space or clothing. Was it her? Was it something to do with her powers? It had to be.

Little lights flickered before his eyes and he felt all the impurities that had been forced on his system start to decay and remove themselves, bursting into little points of light before blinking out of existence.

Kevin could feel her hands now. They felt exactly like he thought they would, only better because they were real. Small, soft and warm. He could feel her tenderness, concern and compassion through her hands. It must be her aura. Kevin could feel how she was feeling through her energy field. He could sense everything from the tightness in her chest to the lingering vestiges of panic from a few minutes ago. His neck suddenly flexed and Kevin was suddenly aware that he was soft and human again. His face immediately fell into one of immense remorse and gratitude.

She had no idea of the misery she'd spared him, how merciful she had been to him, someone, no, something unworthy of her compassion. He tried so hard to thank her, so hard to apologize, but he was still in a state of shock. Nothing moved the way he intended to, but he did managed to grasp her in some semblance of an embrace. His fingers were extremely sensitive, having been without sensation to now being fully aware again. He felt the wool of her sweater and the softness of her hair. Kevin buried his face in her shoulder and found he could feel her precious little heart beating in her chest. He inhaled and found he could smell her lingering perfume. He tightened his grip on her and Kevin felt her exhale on his neck and it made the tiny hairs there prick up. He wanted to sob into her, to tell her how good she felt and how he'd never hurt her ever again...that he'd keep others from hurting her...that he owed her everything and he would be her slave for the rest of his life. He'd come so close to being a monster again that he didn't even want to think about it. He wanted to forget that he'd almost been trapped on his hands and knees for years...he wanted up, now!

Leaning heavily on Gwen, he tried to get up...and failed. His legs buckled and he fell. He felt those wonderful, warm little hands support him and help him up. He managed to find his footing and, thanks to the owner of those hands, was able to stand. He felt his heart clench, a feeling he could not identify, but when he looked down at Gwen, he saw her eyes were wide with relief. Relief and something else. Something he had only dreamed of. She looked at him with what he prayed was some form of love. He looked back, hoping to convey every feeling he'd ever had towards her through his eyes alone. He was afraid she would look away, like she had all those weeks ago. This time, however, she did not.

Kevin saw her large emerald eyes looking back at him and he was content to stare, smitten, for as long as she was willing to. It gave him a warm feeling in his chest...as if some how, this visual communion served as a form of pact, a mutual agreement between them. It made him feel less alone. It made him feel whole and fulfilled and he never wanted to forget what that felt like. Maybe, just maybe...being alone did not have to be part of being Kevin Levin.