Chapter 16: Moving On

Tifa was busy fixing her hand, moving one card to the other side to try to figure out of if she had something worth playing or if she should just fold. Honestly, she had never been good at Poker. Cid had tried to teach her once, and then Wedge so long ago, but she never really had the desire to learn. She played for fun, never for real Gil, but she almost always lost. She supposed she shouldn't be surprised that Yuffie was far better at it than a girl of twenty-one should have been. Cid had long since quit, frustrated to have lost so many times to somebody so much younger than he was, and he went off to the porch to smoke a cigarette and presumably to complain to Vincent who'd been sitting out on the bench with Nanaki.

"Should I just pretend I didn't ask?" Yuffie set her cards down and reached for her glass, sipping the wine and trying not to grimace. It was no secret she was trying to acquire the taste for it since it was expected that wine be served at her wedding. Since then, she had been attempting to find one that didn't make her want to spit it back up, but no such luck. "I'll never understand how Vinny and Cid can drink this shit like it's water…"

"I prefer a good beer," Tifa admitted, reaching for Yuffie's glass and taking a sip of it. "You might prefer a white wine, Yuffs. Something a bit sweeter. I have some if you want to try." Tifa set her hand down and got up to go behind the bar, looking through her selection. "Don't throw yours out," she said quickly when she saw the young woman approach the sink with her glass. Yuffie stood in mild shock, setting the glass down on the bar instead and hoisted herself onto one of the stools. "Yeah… I'm sure Vin wouldn't mind finishing it for me."

"Or me!" Tifa laughed, leaning forward to grab it. "I thought it was good."

"Still… do you think I should take him a glass?" She looked towards the window where she could see Cid yelling animatedly about something. If she listened hard enough she was pretty sure she'd be able to figure out what he was upset about this time, but she wasn't that interested. "On second thought, I'll wait… Cid's still ranting. Also I'm too lazy to go out there myself… I'll wait for him to come in."

"Good idea," she laughed, pouring some white wine into a glass. "Here. Try that."

Yuffie leaned over the bar to grab it, sniffing the contents first before hesitantly tilting it towards her lips. She sat back, pensive, tilted the glass again and then said, "It's pretty good. I guess I'll never just love wine like you guys do, but… I can at least stomach that one. Pour another glass. I'll take it out to Vinny and see what he thinks about it." Yuffie stood up, shuffling on her feet as she twiddled her fingers. "Never thought I'd be planning a wedding…" she admitted. "Or that I'd care to. Especially not one where Vincent Valentine is the groom."

Tifa smiled, setting the second glass on the bar and then started to pour a third for herself. "Won't lie… I didn't think I'd see the day, either." It was said in a joking manner, but they both knew it was not a joke. There'd been no indication in the past that Yuffie and Vincent would be exchanging vows, or that Vincent would ever consider becoming husband to anybody. Sometimes she wondered just what was going through his mind when he sat back and considered it. But she knew him well. Perhaps better than most people ever had, and she knew that if he didn't want to get married, then he wouldn't. Simple as that. "I think he'll make a good groom. And you'll make a beautiful bride. That reminds me, I spoke with Teresé at the dress shop and your fitting is on Friday."

Yuffie nodded but she didn't smile as Tifa thought she might. She'd been head over heels excited about the dress she'd found and had talked of little else for the last three days. But the look she wore now was one of worry, and Tifa couldn't possibly imagine what was going through her mind. She hoped it wasn't doubt or cold feet. Now that she'd gotten used to the idea, she would hate to see this wedding not happen. "Can you please answer my question?" Yuffie said in a soft voice. Tifa should have guessed that's what it was about. At least it wasn't cold feet…

"I don't want to talk about Cloud, Yuffs." She grabbed her wine and walked back around the bar to return to the table with Yuffie following close behind. "I know what you're thinking. That I'm still hung up on him. That I'm just sitting here, waiting for him to come back and that's why I won't close the bar. I know I'm alone. That when you get married, you'll be staying in Wutai and Vincent will have to stay with you. I can find help, you know. There's plenty of people in Edge and Midgar looking for work. It's not the end of the world."

"I just… I want to see you happy, Teefs. You deserve it."

"I am happy," she insisted. "Do I wish things had been different? Yes. Of course I do. I wish Cloud had stayed. I wish we had worked things through. Hell, I'd have been just as happy if he'd let me go with him. But, it is the way it is, and it happened for a reason. I firmly believe that. So, no… I'm not waiting for him. Not anymore. Maybe at first I was. I admit that…" She looked into her glass, swirling the liquid as she pulled one leg up onto the chair. "It's just… It's hard to talk about, you know. I thought he was my happy ending, and he wasn't. I'm over him, but it still hurts. I think it always will."

Yuffie frowned, putting her elbows on the table and resting her chin in her hands. "I'm just afraid he's going to come back and… Well…"

"That I'll fall back into his arms and draw him up as another fairy tale prince charming?"

"I was going to at least try not to be so blunt about it… but yeah, that's pretty much what I'm worried about."

Tifa took a drink, savoring the sweetness of the wine as her eyes looked towards the window. Not too long ago, Vincent had expressed the same concerns. He had not worried about sounding too blunt. At the time, she had not been so sure of herself, of what she would do if Cloud ever walked back through that door. And she was certain he would. He left often, but he came back. He always did. And she had always taken him back. That was just who she was. But things were different now. She was different. "It won't end, will it? I'll take him back, and we'll be happy for a time. But then something will happen. He'll leave and I'll be miserable and wonder what it was that I did…? What I could have done to keep him? I've done this song and dance so many times. I could do the steps in my sleep. But… I don't want to do it anymore. I can't. I'm just… I'm too tired. It took me a long time to realize that. That sometimes you can love a person even if you're not meant to be with them. So don't worry, Yuffie. Nobody knows better than I do that Cloud and I will never work."

There was a silence that lingered between them after that. Tifa didn't mind it so much, but she could tell that Yuffie was trying to figure out what to say. It wasn't easy for her, she knew. Normally it was Tifa who listened and gave her advice, who was her shoulder and her confidant. Even so, she appreciated that Yuffie was trying. She was a far better friend than even she knew, and though she had her faults, there really wasn't anything that she would want her to change. "You really ought to smile more, Yuffie. I'm beginning to think you're afraid of getting married."

Her brown eyes seemed to light up then, sitting up straighter. "Of course I'm afraid of getting married!" she said loudly. "Vinny scares the shit out of me!" She stifled her laughter then, trying not to turn her head to look at the window, but Tifa could clearly see that Vincent had heard her. She took another drink as the door opened, the tall man entering wordlessly, his eyes fixed on the back of his fiancé's head. At last, turning around to look at him, she said casually, "Oh, honey… I didn't hear you come in. Thought you'd be out there for hours. Anyway, there's a glass of wine on the bar for you. Tell me what you think. I may have it served at our wedding."

"Really, Yuffie?" Tifa laughed, shaking her head, laughing even harder when Vincent rolled his eyes and started towards the bar.

"What…? What'd I say?" she asked knowingly.

It was not a dream she had been keen to wake up from. Reluctantly, she opened her eyes to see what was making all that noise, and then laid it back down after she realized it was just Reno putting the supplies back into the bag. She shifted slightly, noting the ache in her lower back from having slept on such a hard surface, but even given her mild discomfort, she was not in too much of a hurry to get up. Besides, all that was waiting when she finally did accept that she was awake was a journey through the mines and then to the marshes where, more than likely, they would not be able to outrun the Midgar Zolom. Maybe a few more minutes of sleep. Could he really deny her that if he wanted her to be in fighting form?

"Tifa… wake up," Reno said, crouching down next to her and putting a hand on her shoulder. "We've got a long way to go today."

"Do we?" she asked, keeping her eyes clenched. "Just fifteen more minutes." She rolled over, putting her back to him as she gathered the bag of clothes under her head more securely, trying to make her makeshift pillow a bit more comfortable.

He tried not to laugh, leaning over her and moving a strand of hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear. "I already let you sleep longer than I had intended. We're getting started late, and there's just too much ground to cover."

"Fine…" she murmured. "Then carry me."

"No, I don't think that's going to work," he said lightly, shaking her again. When she didn't move, he sighed and stood up. She took that as him giving up and giving in, and she smiled with contentment as she settled in to catch a few more winks. He didn't miss the smile, and it made him curse under his breath, but there was no anger or malice. Shouldering the bag, he bent over her again, his arms wrapping around her securely as he hoisted her off the ground. Her eyes opened wide, and she put up a minor struggle until he bent to hook one arm beneath her knees, cradling her against him. "Weird… You're not nearly as heavy as you look," he joked, laughing when she smacked him hard on his shoulder. "Hey, grab that bag for me, will ya?" He bent slightly so she could reach for her clothes.

"You're not really going to carry me, are you?" Tifa asked, looping her free arm around his shoulders for extra support. She would not put it past him to drop her square on her ass.

"Nope." He didn't put her down, though. It wouldn't be the first time he'd carried her, and he was beginning to suspect it wouldn't be the last. It was, however, the first time he carried her when she wasn't unconscious. Theirs really was such an interesting history now the he thought about it.

"I just wondered… I imagine it won't be easy to fight off the Zolom while you're still holding me. But if you thought to give yourself a challenge, you're definitely going about it the right way." She noticed how his jaw seemed to tighten after she said that, and it was only in the next few moments that she realized they were heading the wrong way. She tapped his shoulder, waiting for his eyes to lock with hers before saying, "I don't know if you've noticed, Reno… but the Marshes are in the other direction."

"No, I know," he said, not even slowing down. "We're not going to the Marshes."

"Oh? Is there some other way to Midgar that I don't know about?" She shuffled in his arms, dropping the bag to force him to stop. He looked at her curiously but set her down, putting his hands in his pockets to allow her time to gather her bearings. She knelt down to tie her shoe, looking at his which she imagined had been black before they were covered in dirt and mud.

"There are plenty of ways to Midgar," he pointed out. "But on foot? No. There's only one way that I know of."

"So we won't be going on foot, is what you're saying?" At least that meant there'd be no Zolom to contend with, but that did sort of change the condition of her detainment. She only agreed to remain to keep him safe and to get him through the Marshes alive. If they were going to bypass that altogether, there really was no reason.

"No… We won't be going to Midgar." He walked past her as she stood up quickly, both of her eyes narrowing at him, but he pretended to be oblivious.

"Was there a change in plans?"

"You could say that…" While she had slept, Reno had remained awake, twisting and turning, trying to wrap his mind around what she'd told him. About the torture, about Manning… Had he known that to begin with… It shouldn't have mattered. The only thing that a Turk needed to worry about was finishing the mission. It was the one thing that they emphasized over and over again. To knowingly and blatantly walk away from a mission, and not only that but to also deliberately see that it failed… He would worry about the consequences later. He'd already made up his mind. Tifa would not be going to Midgar. No matter what. "Without a buggy, Fort Condor is a two day's journey on foot. I'm thinking once we get there, you could call one of your friends and… then this entire nightmare will be over for you."

Tifa hadn't moved, her feet planted firmly to the ground. "Hold on for a second," she said, louder than she meant to, but it at least got him to stop walking. What was he saying? That he was taking her back? That he was just going to say to hell with his mission and that was that? She knew better. The Turks would never accept that. And even if he lied, they wouldn't accept failure. The risk was too great, and she couldn't let him take it. "You don't have to do this. We can go to Midgar and I can…"

"Can what?" he demanded. "Can allow them to torture you? To put you back in one of those rooms that they throw people in when they want them to be forgotten? And for what? This was never about you? It never has been about you? I just… I can't let them… I can't… I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. Or what I'm doing. I never… I don't understand any of this. But I know this is what needs to happen. That's about the only thing I know. That I've got to do whatever it takes to keep you away from Midgar." Away from Manning. "Besides, I thought you'd be happy about this. You've been saying all this time how you're going to leave the second we got through the Marshes. Why are you fighting this?"

Tifa didn't know. Well… she did, but she didn't know why she allowed it to come to this. She would have a conversation with herself later to see where she stood and why, but for now, it wasn't important. There were other matters that were slightly more pressing. "I won't let them hurt you, Reno. Not for my sake. I wouldn't want that for anybody… I… I think I understand now. You never had a choice. It's either do your job or lose your life. And I don't want that to happen. They won't kill me… I can handle whatever they throw at me."

He shook his head, walking back towards her. "See… that's where you're wrong. I do have a choice. I've always had a choice. I just justified it by saying I didn't. That it was better to be this than to be a poor, homeless thief running around in the slums, living from one mark to the next. I felt it was the only way… For so long my sister had taken care of me. I just wanted to make a better life for us. I thought becoming a Turk was the only way to get there. I worked so hard to separate myself from that life. To distance myself from my father. I thought anything was better than becoming him… So you see, I made a choice. I chose to become a Turk. I chose to be the way I am. And now I choose to take you to Fort Condor. You see how that works?"

He seemed to shrink after he finished talking, and she realized he hadn't meant to say that much. The entire trip he had avoided talking about his past, avoided answering her questions when she probed. She had always assumed it was because he just didn't want her to know, the he was not comfortable with her trying to get so close. It never occurred to her that maybe he was ashamed of it. That he didn't talk about it because he was trying to forget it. She hugged her arms around herself, fighting against her instinct to comfort him, to say something about it. From what she knew about Reno, it was better if she just let it go for now. And he did seem to sigh in relief when she asked, "And what will you choose to do after you take me to Fort Condor?"

"I… actually haven't thought that far ahead. I'm sort of just making this up as I go."

"I see…" she said softly. "Well then… Once we get to Fort Condor, you and I are going to sit down and figure out where we go from here. Because it's very clear that we just aren't seeing eye-to-eye."

"Well… I wasn't planning on taking your thoughts into consideration on this."

"That's too bad." She grabbed her bag again and started to head back to the entrance of the mines. "Really, Reno, if we're going to spending the next few days together, you really ought to learn how to trust me."

He was stunned, but what else could he do but follow her? "My mistake," he chuckled. "I'll remember that from now on."

"See that you do. Now come on… Pick up your feet. We've got a lot of ground to cover, and we spent way longer dilly-dallying than I'd intended." She smiled to herself at the look he gave her then, not quite able to suppress her laughter when she heard him groan behind her, muttering something about women and how he would never understand them.