A/N: It has taken six months to write this epilogue, several drafts were trashed in that time as I dragged my feet while trying to end this story…it continues to be a favorite of mine, and truthfully was one I didn't really want to see come to an end…so I submit this as a Merry Christmas gift to all who are still interested in reading about these characters…and cannot fully express my gratitude for the wonderful reviews and terrific reader support for this story…hope this ending will be satisfying and leave you – as I experienced – a bit teary-eyed but content for these characters…on a sigh, I shall just say that all good things must come to an end…hope you will have a blessed and wonderful new year… -Kathy
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Epilogue
Fours years later…
The sun streamed warm rays through the summer afternoon as Sara ambled from the surrey she had driven to rest under the shade of the 100-year-old oak.
The soft sound of childhood play brought a one-sided grin to her lips which began to quiver until she bit down harshly to prevent the unwanted display of emotion.
Helping the child to the ground with a reminder to stay close by, a kiss ended the tyke's spoken promises as Sara turned back to the leather seat to grab her handled bag and head out towards her intended destination.
Her sandaled feet brushed through the soft spikes of the low-lying meadow grass which now sported the wild daisies he had sown especially for her across this wide expanse of acreage that led from the cabin to the family's ranch house.
Entering under the recently-painted archway, she inhaled softly in an effort to keep her emotions in check.
Finding easily the four-by-six patch of newly replaced earth, Sara set her shoulder bag down slowly as her eyes slowly lifted upwards before slamming shut under the weight of a renegade tear.
Remember me with smiles, or don't remember me at all.
It was a promise he had finagled from her that last night at his bedside.
Keeping that promise was all she could give him now.
Smoothing her hand sentimentally over the mounded dirt, Sara shuddered as she pushed away at the recent memories that threatened to depress her.
Swiping at her eyes to dry them, she reached in the bag to retrieve her treasure.
Placing the photo album on her lap, her fingers ran lovingly over the picture of her and Gil on their wedding day, surrounded by Logan, Lillian, and their friends from Vegas.
She thought about the seemingly endless ride from the ranch house to the cabin, smiling at the memory of that journey…
Getting more and more anxious to arrive, Sara tried to calm herself as Billy continued to keep the horses at a steady gallop.
Looking out towards the thicket at the edge of the pasture, she blinked twice before shaking her head in disbelief.
There, as the trees seemed to part slightly to reveal a lighted path, stood a figure Sara could barely make out as being male.
Squinting slightly, she knew there was a familiar stance to this man, and she leaned forward to get a better view.
If she didn't know better, she'd almost swear that it was…
As that thought suddenly took hold of her thoughts, Sara gasped as the figure suddenly raised his hand in greeting – and blew her a kiss before waving once more.
She found it hard to inhale, and closed her eyes to blink hard before returning her gaze to the figure.
The thicket was once again solid without trace of a lighted opening.
Sara sat back stunned against the sun-warmed seat.
A smile claimed her face, and a small chuckled escaped from her happy lips.
"Sara? Darlin', you okay back there?" asked a somewhat concerned Billy.
Turning towards the thicket once more, Sara's thoughts turned to Nick.
He had always wanted only the best for her, and now she was sure that – whether she could testify that the mirage was real or just a wish-filled figment of her imagination - he had just found a way to reassure her of his love and to give her his blessing on this wedding day to the one man she had always loved.
"Sara?" the question repeated with Billy now turned to see her grinning like a fool.
Laughing out loud, Sara raised her bouquet and answered happily, "I'm just fine, Billy. Now, let's get the lead of out these horses, okay?"
A sound from the nearby field caught Sara's attention as her daughter scrambled after a butterfly who flitted always just out of her grasp.
Her eyes moved towards the sky, remembering all the days she had watched her Gillian walk hand in hand with her Papa through these same fields.
Her stomach lurched slightly as she wondered how they'd manage without seeing that contented smile each day as he hugged and kissed them hello or goodbye or all the odd times in between.
Turning the pages, she smiled at more family photos, recalling the joy in Logan's eyes as she accepted the gift of "the cabin", recalling how Gil had spun her around happily as she laughed and cried that she finally had a place to call "home".
Her mind flashed snapshots of that wedding day in such rapid succession that Sara's breath caught on a sob, recalling how she felt she would never be that happy again.
But the intervening years proved again and again how wrong that feeling would be.
Their first Christmas around the large fireplace at the ranch house with Sara feeling as big as a house at only six months as she sat perched on Gil's lap while Logan took a picture of them sneaking a kiss when they thought that no one was looking…
The day Gillian was born, and the unmistakable feeling of completion as she joined Gil when he cried as their baby was first laid in their arms…and the look of awe on Logan's face when she presented him with his first granddaughter…
Picnicking recently by the pond on their last anniversary, a sparkling and perfect day spent alone with her darling husband as their child was enjoying being the center of attention at her grandparents' home…
A tear escaped her eye as her head moved towards the mounded earth next to her.
That picnic day…how could she know that her world would be turned upside down just the very next day…
They sat on the veranda, Lillian moving into the house to get more lemonade.
Watching her come back onto the covered porch, dropping the pitcher at the sound of Gillian screaming his name…
His body falling to the floor as he clutched his chest…
He had always insisted on "no extraordinary measures"….
A weeklong bedside vigil…never leaving his side, despite the urgings of the doctor to consider her own condition…
Their final conversation…simple declarations of love born of the special relationship the others simply would never truly fathom…
Reaching a hand to wipe away the tears that fell unbidden down her cheeks, a chuckle suddenly rose from her throat at the sight that loomed before her.
Almost a moment of déjà vu, Sara's heart soared the sight of the biggest bouquet of fresh-picked daisies attached to a pair of adorable little legs which now lumbered towards her.
In a heartbeat, the legs stumbled and crumbled, causing the flowers to be strewn near the base of the gravesite.
Her motherly lurch forward was stilled by the giggling of the curly-headed moppet as she emerged from under the cascading field flowers.
Reaching her arms out in welcome, the child squealed with happiness as she flung herself into her mother's embrace.
Sara clung to her a bit tighter than normal, but Gillian did not seem to notice as she swayed in Sara's arms happily while her mother attempted to dry her tears in her daughter's beribboned brown tresses.
Pulling away slightly, Sara looked deep into her daughter's eyes.
"Where were you going with all those daisies, darlin'?" she asked, using the term of endearment her grandfather had enjoyed using for 'his girls'.
"I bring dem…for Papa…" Gillian smiled, patting the dirt after blowing a kiss into her chubby hand.
Sara was grateful that her daughter seemed oblivious to the forever aspect of this separation, for now obliging them with satisfaction of their rudimentary explanation.
"Mama…roll!" Gillian laughed as she had now returned to the daisies and began rolling around on their silky smoothness.
Sara couldn't help but laugh and after a moment she stood stiffly to lay alongside her daughter amid the flowery expanse.
Gillian squealed happily as she fully rolled one way and then the other, crashing into Sara with glee.
Sara smiled broadly as she pretended to roll onto her side, awaiting another imminent crash when suddenly they were both distracted by the sounds of hooves pounding up the path towards them.
"Daddy!" yelled Gillian, her attention now focused on her parent's approach as she scrambled unsuccessfully to her feet.
Sara laughed and helped right her child fully, startled by the messy buss pressed quickly onto her cheek before her daughter trotted down the well-worn path towards the galloping steed.
Inhaling a shaky breath, Sara turned back towards the mounded dirt and rested her hand on cool earth which now was strewn in a lovely cascade of bits and pieces of wild field daisies.
"I love you, Dad," she whispered on an exhale, her gaze traveling lazily upwards towards the thicket in the distance that lined the pasture.
No surprise registered this time when she spotted a slight sunlit parting in the trees, encasing the two figures Sara now knew to both be familiar to her.
Raising one hand slightly, her fingers touched her trembling lips before extending them in the universal gesture of love before waving her hand in a final goodbye.
The older of the figures returned her gesture, and while their features were indistinct, in her heart Sara knew he was smiling broadly.
Hearing the horse slowing on the path, Sara turned her attention to her daughter for a moment as she waiting impatiently for the handsome figure to disembark from his saddle and swing her upwards into his loving arms.
Snapping her head again towards the thicket, her first reaction was to scream out for them to wait, wait one more minute…but the opening had again sealed the thicket into a darkened forest.
Her eyes remained focused on that area for another moment, so focused that the thud of a giggling child slamming onto her back startled her enough to let out a panicked gasp.
"Gilly! Careful of mama!" scolded Gil as he scooped the child off Sara's hunched frame, inspecting her mother for damage.
"I sorry, mama," the beautiful moppet whispered, her contrite brown eyes glancing upwards towards her father's glare before hiding her head in the nook of her daddy's neck.
Sara smiled.
That nook was her favorite spot, too.
Sara smiled a gap-toothed smile as she realized that at just over three years old, little Gillian Grissom knew her father would forgive her anything if she nestled firmly into that spot.
As expected, Gil's tone changed abruptly.
"Okay, darlin'…but we have to be very careful of mama nowadays, okay?" he spoke lovingly, setting Gillian back down to stand on the ground.
Suddenly Sara was overwhelmed by the entire experience this outing had afforded her, and she found herself slowly lowering herself onto the daisy bed as if she were leaning against Logan's sturdy shoulder.
Gillian took this as her signal to snuggle against her mother's shoulder, humming softly as her dusty shoes were raised into the air and captivating her as if they held the secrets of the universe.
"I came home and I couldn't find you, so I took a chance that you…might have…" Gil started hesitantly, unwilling to fully express his worry for her since Logan's emotional passing a mere ten days before.
"I just…I needed to get out for a while…I just kind of wound up-" she paused, needing a moment to come to terms with her feelings.
She thought for a moment how Gil had always been the one man she had loved, and in the four years they had lived here they had grown deeper in love each day.
Looking once again towards the man who was the quintessential husband and father, Sara suddenly allowed the grief of Logan's passing to melt away.
While their lives would always feel the absence of this man who had been the father Sara never had growing up, she knew that each day with those you love was a gift from above.
Her earlier vision had been a confirmation that love truly never ends, and that one day they would be reunited.
That thought made a smile cross Sara's face, and for the first time since this anguished ordeal began she was able to take a deep, cleansing breath.
Gil took that as his cue to lean on his elbow close enough to kiss the growing bump on Sara's midsection.
"You doin' okay, honey?" he asked, his concern evident in the concentrated look of his deep blue eyes.
Inhaling deeply, Sara felt a surge of indescribable joy in being surrounded by the reality of the love that for the past four years had been hers.
"I love you, Gil Grissom," she spoke softly as she raised her hand to run her fingers lightly through his soft curls.
Watching as Gil unconsciously ran his fingers lovingly over her baby bump in response, they were both startled when his hand suddenly pressed more firmly against body, his eyes twinkling as his smile matched Sara's.
"Was that…?" Gil asked, grinning even more broadly as Sara nodded with eyes glistening with happy tears.
Leaning over, Gil pressed a kiss against the spot where he just felt the butterfly movement, snaking upwards to kiss his wife lovingly and to stare into her eyes.
Their silent communication continued - he, searching for reassurance that she truly was going to be okay, and she, replying that she was fine.
He smiled softly, happy that when Sara said she was fine these days he could finally believe her.
Sneaking one more kiss, Gil claimed her hand and pressed another kiss into her palm.
Smiling towards their Gillian who had fallen into a light slumber, his eyes returned to Sara's as he thought again that he just might be the luckiest man on the face of this planet.
"How about I get the little one and I take you both back home in the surrey?" he asked as he leaned in for a kiss that made his full intentions clear.
When she continued to smile up at him, Gil added huskily, "If she continues to nap, maybe you could take a little rest yourself, Mrs. Grissom."
A small giggle escaped her, causing Gil to claim her mouth hungrily, pulling away regretfully but not wanting to delay their departure.
"Let's get you out of here, honey," he spoke as he stood, moving towards their sleeping child and lifting her easily and cradling her to his chest.
On her feet now, Sara looked once again towards the thicket before turning to gaze upon her husband and daughter.
At that moment, the child in her womb moved so quickly it caused Sara to gasp in surprise.
Next to her in a heartbeat, Gil's strong arm was around her shoulders.
"Honey! What is it? What do you need?" his words were swift and his expression concerned.
Feeling secure in her husband's embrace, she glanced over at the sleeping child wrapped protectively in her father's arms.
Standing there with her hand splayed across her growing baby bump, Sara smiled into her husband's eyes.
"As long as I have you – all of you - to have and to hold onto, Gil...I've got everything I will ever need."
The End -