I do not own the characters who act in this story; I only borrowed them from Beth Sullivan, CBS and whoever else is holding the rights on them.

I didn't create a new plot for this story. I start with Michaela and Catherine in the scene outside of the clinic in Another Woman and go through the episodes (in the logical order) up to Michaela and Sully jumping down from the cliff in The Abduction. I want to explore everyone's thoughts and feelings, add some scenes but will never change the story that was told on the show. As to the logical order: Orphan Train and Buffalo Soldiers don't fit between Another Woman and Luck of the Draw – for several reasons. One of them is that Michaela and Sully's argument in the examination room in Orphan Train (Michaela: "How dare you ask me that! You, who told me that you are not ready to love anyone…") doesn't make sense after they declared their love for each other in Where the Heart Is.

Off Course

By Kruemi

"I stay with him."

Catherine's eyes shone with confidence as she laid her hand on her chest, indicating her love for the man who had been there for her whenever she had needed him. Sully understood her in a way no one else did. They spoke the same language in every sense of the word. He had even helped her to open the securely closed box of far away memories. With him at her side it didn't hurt like she had feared. He had been through ordeals similar to hers and was a stranger in the white man's world, just like her. She could tell and he had affirmed it; they were the same. They had even grown up in the same place, beside the ocean.

And there was more. When she had kissed him, he hadn't rejected her. Yet even more importantly, he had accepted her gift later that day and given her his necklace in return. The all deciding fact though was that he had agreed to protect her. It had felt good to be in a strong man's arms again. His embrace had been warm and welcoming. She had found her new family; she didn't need an old one.

When Catherine turned and entered the clinic, she felt as if a burden had been taken from her shoulders: she was glad that Dr. Mike knew now that she and Sully were connected in a very special and close way. Of course Catherine had noticed that there was a bond between the doctor and Sully, too. After all, he came to the homestead as if he belonged there. However, she had concluded that the two of them were nothing but close friends. It wasn't just that she had never seen them kissing or holding hands. Sully called the other woman 'Dr. Mike', even in private, not 'Michaela' like Mrs. Jennings did or even Hank, the barkeeper from across the street. This much she still remembered from her former life; people in love used their first names when they talked to each other. However, the doctor was informed now which meant that as soon as she, Catherine, met Sully again, they could start making plans.

As the young woman shut the door behind herself, Michaela was still trying to digest what she'd just seen and heard. One thought was especially disturbing: What made Catherine think that Sully would want her to stay with him? The way the young woman had announced it suggested he certainly would.

Michaela didn't have time to mull over this further because now Brian was approaching her.

"Ma?"

"Hmm?" Making this small sound Michaela turned towards her son, trying in vain to focus on him.

The boy's knees were shaking. The hope the telegram had given him was shattered as quickly as it had risen when he heard Miss Catherine say that she would stay with Sully. Yet as upset as he was about that, Dr. Mike sitting motionless on the bench staring into space, frightened him even more.

"What's the matter?" he asked tentatively, sitting down next to the woman he considered his mother, his eyes never leaving her face.

Still dumbfounded, Michaela just managed to reply, "I'm not quite sure, Brian."

Knowing how he felt about Sully and her together, he assumed it was even worse for his Ma.

"Ya mad 'cause she's staying?" he dared to ask, looking at the door through which Miss Catherine had just vanished.

"It concerns me in a way," Michaela nodded, absentmindedly following Brian's gaze; she was still trying to collect her thoughts. If she had been thinking clearly, she would never have discussed this subject with her son.

Yet the nine-year-old was glad that he could finally share the worries which he had kept to himself for far too long already. "Me, too," he confessed. Once he started speaking, he couldn't stop the following words from coming out as well, "Ever since…" Looking up at Dr. Mike's face though, he hesitated.

"Ever since what?" she gently encouraged him to go on, finally concentrating on him.

Brian looked away for a moment trying to gather enough courage so as to be able to tell her.

"Well," he began at last, turning his gaze back. Yet seeing her expectant expression he couldn't bring himself to continue, knowing it would hurt her. Shaking his head, he quickly murmured, "Nothing."

But Michaela, thankful for the distraction, hoped she might finally find out why her son had barely spoken since their conversation at the clinic the day before.

"Tell me," she tenderly coaxed him.

Brian let out a long breath, knowing she wouldn't let him off the hook now.

"Ever since I saw… Sully and her," he admitted at last, barely able to look at Dr. Mike.

Michaela had no idea what could have upset her son so much. She bent forward, trying to hold Brian's gaze, wondering, "What were they doing?"

The boy had desperately hoped he wouldn't have to say it yet since his Ma was asking him so directly, he had no choice.

Anxiously he watched her face as he revealed, "Kissing."

It took only a split second until this simple word sank in, turning into a knife that plunged into her unprotected heart. The air around her seemed to solidify, making it almost impossible to breathe.

Brian felt terrible; he had never seen Dr. Mike so hurt. "I didn't wanna tell ya," he said, disappointed with himself that he hadn't been able to keep this secret.

Michaela exhaled sharply; knowing she wasn't the only one affected.

"It's quite alright, Brian." She laid her arm reassuringly around his shoulder, rubbing it gently.

Brian, however, was close to tears now. Everything he had dreamed of for a new family seemed suddenly to go up in smoke.

"I'm so mad at Sully," he admitted.

Michaela knew how attached Brian was to Sully and she couldn't allow her son to suffer because of problems between the adults.

"Well," she tried to sound convincing, "What ever happened, it's between Sully and me."

With her hand still on his shoulder she looked into his eyes, wanting him to see that he didn't have to fear being separated from the man who had always been his hero, "He's a good man and he's still your friend."

Yet they couldn't hold each others gazes any longer, both being too caught up in their own troubled thoughts. While Brian continued worrying if things could ever work out if Sully lived with Catherine, Michaela's mind started functioning again. The scene from yesterday when Brian had harshly refused to go with Sully to the reservation suddenly appeared before her eyes. One minute the boy had eagerly agreed to take the water pitcher to Catherine's room and the next he had wished she would leave.

The air on Michaela's chest grew heavy again but in addition to the pain, anger arose as she realized that Sully and Catherine had been kissing in the room right above her.

…………………………………………………………………………

It took every bit of Michaela's willpower to concentrate on her work that day. As long as she was busy with a patient she was able to focus on the task at hand. Yet as soon as she was alone, if only for a few minutes, she couldn't stop thinking about what Brian had told her. While struggling to comprehend the situation, she tried in vain to fight images that appeared before her eyes and showed Sully and Catherine kissing. Alternating between hoping that Brian had misinterpreted what he had seen and knowing that this wasn't the case, her irritation grew.

Actually, the more she thought about it the more certain she was that it was true: the man who was courting her had kissed another woman. Catherine's expression when she announced she would stay with Sully made sense now.

As she realized that, Michaela needed to sit down for her knees suddenly buckled.

In an attempt to steady her nerves, she began to tidy her desk yet her trembling fingers refused to hold the files she wanted to put into the drawer. As one of them slipped onto the floor, she sank against the back of her chair, giving up on trying to distract herself. She had to find a way to get her emotions under control. The only method she knew was to analyze the situation and then take the necessary steps. And of course she had to talk to Sully. No matter how much it would hurt, it was better to know than be kept in the dark.

However, a glance at the clock on the wall told her it was already quite late. Maybe she'd already missed supper, but for once she didn't mind.

Fortunately Bear didn't need much guidance on the familiar way home. Michaela simply held the reins, letting the horse trot on at its own lazy pace. She wasn't ready to face Sully yet; first she had to come to terms with the news she had learned today.

Why hadn't she seen this coming? She immediately knew the answer: because it had never occurred to her that Sully would turn to another woman. Not because she thought herself irresistible, she rather felt the contrary, but they had declared their love for each other. He had offered his heart to her and she had given him hers in return. From this moment on, knowing Sully's character, she had trusted him without thinking. Even when he had watched Catherine changing behind the folding screen she was stupid enough to think nothing of it. Seeing his eyes light up as the other woman stepped out in the skillfully made Indian dress which he had brought for her, she had merely suddenly understood why her mother was always quite upset when her father's head had turned to look at a beautiful woman. Yet Sully had gone farther; he had kissed Catherine.

Only thinking the words sent a chill through her veins, making her tremble again. Softly, she pulled on the reins. "Whoa," she ordered Bear to halt in his tracks. Being in this state, she couldn't possibly face her children. She didn't want them to worry about her.

Straightening in her seat, she took in a few deep breaths. So, what else did she know? Sully had told Catherine that they were both the same. The same. Michaela remembered the beginning of their courtship, when she and Sully had feared they didn't have enough in common. It had taken Sully almost a year before he opened up to her. She always believed it was because he was still grieving for Abigail but it might have been much simpler: she wasn't the right woman for him. He needed to get used to her. He hadn't needed time to feel drawn to Catherine however, for she had lived with the Indians like he had. Yet she herself didn't know anything about Indian rituals, especially not when it came to the relationship between a man and a woman. She had learned that when Cloud Dancing was about to take a second wife.

Remembering that, a new thought crossed her mind, startling her more than all the others already had. Not only had Sully been married before but Catherine had as well. Was this as important for them as their having lived with the Indians? Men had certain needs, especially once they'd been married. Her mother had told her so but she knew that as a doctor as well. It still frightened her that Sully always wanted to touch and kiss.

She had barely finished that thought when the ugly creature called Doubt awoke, beginning its work, poisoning her thoughts. She knew close to nothing about Sully's life. Not only about his current one, for he still came and went as he pleased, but about his days after Abigail's death, too. She had only learned that he lived as a part of the Cheyenne community. What did that mean? Did he have a relationship with a woman during this time? Maybe he even still had one when she had arrived in Colorado Springs and perhaps that was why he hadn't been free to be more than a friend initially. Michaela vividly remembered that moment on the bridge and her disappointment when he had told her he wasn't ready yet to share more than friendship with her.

However, there was no use brooding over this further. She needed the answers from Sully, even if it meant finding out things she wouldn't like. Brian being so upset had shown her that she and Sully weren't the only ones affected by this affair, and there was no way that she would allow anyone, including Sully, to hurt her children.

Determined now to find out what was going on between Sully and Catherine, and what that meant for her and Sully, Michaela flicked the reins, urging the horse into a pace that was still safe but fast enough for her to get home quickly. She only hoped to find Sully there, having supper with her family. As always, she would just have to wait and see. Usually, this didn't bother her but tonight that thought upset her.

She held onto her anger which had started to boil at the realization that she had no idea where and when she would be able to meet him if he wasn't at the homestead.

Being angry she didn't feel the hurt so much.