Author's Note: Hey! I know this is coming out at the wrong time of the year, but the idea suddenly hit me and it refused to get out of my brain. This is the first fic I've written in a while and it's not my usual style (it's more humor than romance, which is weird for me. :D) so tell me if it's awful. :) Reviews are love!
Disclaimer: I wish the characters belonged to me, but they don't. They're all JKR's, my friends. Well, except Cupid. He's mine. :)
"Happy Valentine's Day to YOOOOOOOOOU!"
Hermione jumps at the shrill screech, and glances up from the numerous folders on her desk in shock. A miniature, awful-looking cupid-like creature grins up at her from where he is sitting on her table in front of her. "How d'you do, ma'am?"
Her eyes widen. "Um, fine, thank you. Who sent you here?"
"That guy with the white hair." Cupid cackles. "Ugly as h – "
"White hair?" Hermione raises an eyebrow. "You mean Tallor Quick in the Department of Mysteries?"
The cupid rolls his eyes. "No. That guy in the department with the important-looking stuff. I forget his name."
"Important-looking stuff…" Hermione thinks for a moment. "Head Department?"
"Wha'?" Cupid frowns, puzzled.
"Were all the heads of departments gathered where this person was?" Hermione asks patiently. "They have meetings quite often."
"Harry Potter was there." Cupid shrugs. "The white-haired guy was sitting next to this ghastly-looking redhead freak. Told me to come to a lady named Her-mee-oh-n – uh, Her-mee… um. Well. H. Granger. So I did."
Hermione smiles. "Draco Malfoy sent you?"
Cupid's eyes lit up. "Yeah! That's the one."
Hermione laughs. "He doesn't have white hair!"
Cupid scowls, as if remembering something particularly nasty. "Yes, he does. He's mean, too. I think you should break up with him."
"Aren't you supposed to make people like each other?" Hermione grins. "Why are you asking me to break up with someone?"
"I only match-make people I think would go well together." Cupid explains. He looks her up and down. "You and him? Nah. You're too different."
"You never know." Hermione teases. "Ever heard the saying 'opposites attract'?"
Cupid smiles. "You're cute, chick. I'd ask for your Floo, but I don't think ol' White Hair would like it."
Hermione giggles. "Oh, Draco and I aren't going out. That's why I was surprised when you appeared. We're just friends."
"Lady, let me tell you something." Cupid struts across the table so they're nose-to-nose. He folds his arms across his chest. "There is nothing 'just friends' about how he thinks of you. He's in love with you."
"What?" Hermione's hand flies to her heart as it begins to thump faster. "He told you that?"
"Not in so many words, but I know these things." Cupid says, flicking some lint off his sleeve. "He paid a hundred galleons to send me here."
Hermione gasps. "A hundred galleons?"
Cupid nods. "And his eyes go all soft when he talks about you. It's love, I promise."
"I – I never would have guessed." Hermione's voice is hushed. "Why didn't he ever tell me?"
"Because he doesn't think you'll like him back." Cupid pauses. "Because he's ugly!"
He cackles heartily, rolling around on her desk with laughter.
Hermione rolls her eyes, but laughs. "He's not ugly. He's very attractive."
Cupid pats her arm. "That's okay, honey. You don't have to stick up for him!"
He starts guffawing all over again, and Hermione smiles. "He's not ugly! Why do you think so anyway?"
Cupid instantly sobers, and wipes the tears of laughter from his eyes. He shrugs. "I'm just trying to make myself feel better, I guess. As you can see, I don't look all that great."
Hermione suppresses her smile. "You don't look all that bad either."
"Oh yeah?" Cupid snarls. "Well, your boyfriend's annoyingly good-looking! Guess what happened when I was walking to his meeting with him this morning? Five girls stopped to flirt with him. Five. They didn't even look at me!"
Hermione's heart went out to the little creature, but she couldn't help asking, "Five girls? Were they pretty?"
"Gorgeous. Every single one of them." Cupid sighs, and rubs at his face. "And he flirted right back, even though he didn't seem interested in them."
Hermione beams, her heart lifting. "Really?"
"Yeah." Cupid sulks. "I was! He didn't even give me a chance!"
"Oh." Hermione ruffles his hair affectionately. "I'm sorry. He's kind of a girl hog. I hate that about him too, though for a different reason."
Cupid sighs again, then glances at his watch. "Whoops. I have to go soon. BWL wants me to send a singing Valentine to his beloved."
"BWL?" Hermione raises an eyebrow, amused.
"Boy-Who-Lived." Cupid grins. "I'd better hurry up with your Valentine, then. Shall we begin?"
Hermione smiles at the thought of Cupid singing to Ginny. "Wait – you can sing?"
Cupid looks insulted. "Of course I can sing!"
He taps his thigh discreetly before bursting into song. "And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times! It's you, it's you, you make me sing. You're every line, you're every word, you're every – "
"Hey!" Hermione frowns, and Cupid's mouth snaps shut in surprise.
The singing continues.
"Isn't that song a Mug – a Muggle – " Hermione can't contain her laughter as she realizes she has just discovered Cupid's secret, and bursts into laughter. "You were lip-synching!"
"You're a Muggleborn?" Cupid looks so upset that Hermione wants to hug him.
"Yes." Hermione giggles. "At first I thought you were doing a really good impersonation, but when you stopped singing and the voice didn't…!"
"Okay, okay. I'm a fraud, all right?" Cupid's mouth droops at the corners. "I can't sing like that. Actually… I'm tone-deaf."
Hermione giggles. "I'm sure you're not that bad."
"I am." Cupid says sadly. "I've always used my singing as a gimmick, and you're the first person to figure out that I was lip-synching. I didn't mean any harm – it's just… I'm a cupid. What else can I do if not sing Valentines? I didn't know it was such a popular song for Muggles. I thought even Muggleborns wouldn't know I'd ripped the song from the Muggle world, but I guess I was wrong."
Hermione smiles. "I'm sorry. I won't tell anyone."
Cupid looks up at her, hope glimmering in his eyes. "Really?"
"Really." Hermione says kindly. "Except that I don't like that you ripped Draco and Harry off…"
"They'll never know if you don't tell them!" Cupid eyes go wide and he gets on his knees. "Please don't tell them!"
"As long as you start charging only 80 galleons for your telegrams instead of 100." Hermione says sternly.
Cupid reaches his pudgy arms out and hugs her. "Oh, thank you, thank you! I will!"
"Rex! I didn't pay you all that money to grope her."
Cupid scuttles backward hurriedly and Hermione looks up.
Draco Malfoy grins at her lazily from where he's leaning against the doorframe of her office door. "Hey Granger."
"Hi." She smiles shyly. "Thanks for the Valentine."
He smiles back. "You're welcome. Did he sing for you? Pretty good, huh?"
Hermione giggles, exchanging a look with Cupid. "Yeah. Really good."
"I think I'll go now." Cupid announces, winking at Hermione. "You two have fun."
Hermione swats at him playfully and he disappears with a loud 'crack'.
"You talked to Rex?" Draco looks amused.
"Is that his name?" Hermione laughs. "Yeah, he's fun."
They lapse into a comfortable silence, Hermione staring down at her desk, her cheeks flushed, and Draco looking at his shoes.
Finally, Draco looks up. "Would you like to go for lunch?"
Hermione is surprised, and her cheeks turn redder. "Really? Now?"
He nods. "My lunch break's until 3 pm. We could go to that French restaurant down the street."
He looks nervous, and it makes her smile. She's never seen him look so nervous before. It makes her think of what Rex said, and she walks over and kisses his cheek. "Okay. Let me get my purse."
He grins, relieved that she accepted, and nods.
As she goes back to her desk to grab her purse, she hears Rex's smug voice in her head.
"Told you."
She decides she really likes Valentine's Day.
FIN
Author's Note: So, that's it. The song Rex sang was 'Everything', by Michael Bublé. I definitely don't own that! :)
Well, tell me if you liked it! :)
And a very happy (very belated) Valentine's Day to everyone! :)