Okay, so I pretty much deserve the worst updater award since it has been almost three months. I am soo sorry. First my laptop broke and I was without it for well over a month and then I had surgery. But regardless, I have not forgotten about this story, nor do I plan on stopping until I finish it. As a matter of fact, I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning to write this entire chapter for all you from start to finish (and that is saying something since I am never able to write a whole chapter in one night lol) because you are all such great devoted readers. To all my readers, thank you so much for taking the time to read this story, whether you review or not. You have no idea how much it means to me. And to all my amazingly awesome reviewers, I take all of them to heart and appreciate all your wonderful comments and helpful criticism. I am truly grateful to all of you and I didn't want any of you to think I am neglecting you. But anyways, enough talking and on with the story. Here is the long awaited conversation between Bella and Edward since the accident. I hope you enjoy it and please review with your thoughts. Thanks a bunch!

Chapter 13: Picking up the Pieces

As Edward walked across the lunch room, he focused in on Bella, who was staring down at lunch, pushing it around with a fork.

Edward walked over to the table and stood across from Bella. She was either too lost in thought as she stared downwards or was just ignoring him, but either way she didn't acknowledge his presence.

"Bella," he said to her breathlessly. He couldn't understand why he sounded so out of breath. Must be the nerves, he figured.

Bella's head jerked up suddenly. It seemed as though Edward had caught her by surprise, so he ruled out the possibility that she was purposely ignoring him.

She looked at him with disbelief for the shortest second that Edward wasn't sure if he really saw it because her expression changed to indifference so quickly. "Hello," she said to him calmly and flatly.

Edward suddenly felt so out of place, like he didn't know what to do with himself. He tried to act as naturally as possible by casually running his fingers through his disheveled hair as he gestured to the chair beside him with his other hand.

"Do you mind if I sat down with you?" he asked Bella in a low and serious voice.

Bella shrugged as she turned her attention back to her food. "You can sit if you want," she mumbled back in reply.

Edward hesitated for a moment due to Bella's complete lack of interest but he knew he couldn't run away now. With that in mind, he pulled the chair out and sat across from Bella at the table. He folded his hands together in front of him to stop them from shaking due to the overwhelming feeling of nervousness that was taking over him.

After a long, dragged out moment of silence, Edward finally spoke.

"So . . . ," he struggled to find something to say. "How are you feeling?"

Bella didn't answer at first, nor did she look up at him. She just continued to push her food around her plate. Edward examined her closely, trying to gauge her emotions but couldn't pick up anything. She felt so distant. After a few seconds Bella sighed, pushed the plate away, and looked up to meet Edward's eyes.

"I am fine," she told him firmly.

Edward felt a confused expression fall upon his face as sadness washed over him. He guessed that a part of him was hoping she would say that wasn't okay so that he could be there to pick up the pieces. She has amnesia, how can she just say she's fine? Ugh, I am being selfish again. Selfish! Selfish! Selfish! But she was okay. Then Edward's worst fear settled into his mind. Maybe she doesn't need me after all.

"Oh, um, I see," he said flatly to her.

Bella gave him no response. She just stared at him as though she was looking for something, but then looked away as if she couldn't find it. She looked almost disappointed in a way. At this moment, Edward realized that he had been fooling himself. Bella was moving on with her life without him and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He had passed on too many opportunities to be with her and now it was too late. Edward had his chance but now it was gone. The corners of Edward's mouth turned down along with his head for he couldn't bear to see that disenchanted look on her face. He shook his head with the edges of his mouth turned downward and stared down at the table.

Bella cocked her head slightly to the side, her eyebrows furrowed, as she studied Edward's countenance. "What is it?"

Edward couldn't find it in him to face her. "Nothing, it's nothing," his voice barely above a whisper.

Bella didn't question him any further; she just accepted his answer with a simple nod. Neither one of them said anything for next minutes. The both sat in silence, each wondering what the other was thinking.

Edward let out a sigh. He was determined not to give up this easily on her this easily. However, Bella didn't seem too interesting in even trying to hold a conversation with him. I already came here to do what I set out to do. I made sure she was okay, and she is. Maybe I am bothering her by trying to talk to her. I bet she just wants me to leave her alone. I guess I couldn't blame her.

"Am I bothering you?" Edward mindlessly blurted out. My mind can never function properly around her, can it?, he instantly thought to himself afterwards.

Bella's expression suddenly turned intense and contemplative. She sounded as though she thought her words out carefully before speaking.

"No," she responded slowly, "not you per say."

Edward hesitated slightly. "I am not sure if I understand what you mean exactly."

Bella bit softly down on her lower lip before answering as she ducked her eyes to avoid contact. "Youaren't bothering me as much as you being mad at me bothers me." A faint crimson glow flushed over Bella's cheeks.

In that second, Edward noticed two things. First, he saw her blush and that alone was enough to make him smile. It had felt like so long that he had almost forgotten how becoming it was on her. The second thing, which didn't fully sink in right away was the fact that Bella thought Edward mad at her.

Mad? She thinks I am mad at her? Edward couldn't wrap his mind around the simple word to come up with a logical reason as to why Bella could possibly think he was mad at involuntarily let at a small burst of laughter due to the impossibility of the situation but quickly gained composure.

"I'm sorry. I must have heard you incorrectly. Did you say that you think I am mad at you?" he questioned to make sure his ears weren't deceiving him.

Bella stared blankly at him. "Well, yeah," she stated as if it were completely obvious.

Edward shook his head in disbelief. None of this made sense to him and this conversation was definitely not going the way he planned. He was prepared to beg and grovel for her forgiveness if need be, to savage somewhat of their friendship, but he was not expecting Bella to think he was mad at her.

"Bella, I am not mad at you," he told her earnestly. "I have no reason to be, but you on the other hand . . ." he trailed off for a moment. "You have plenty reason to be angry with me."

Bella retorted. "But I yelled at you. I am blamed you for everything and you haven't spoken to me in weeks. You have to be mad at me."

He understood now. She thought he was holding a grudge against her for freaking out on him that night at the hospital. I was scared, Bella, he wanted to tell her. I was didn't want to hurt you anymore. But the words got stuck in his throat. Again.

"I am not mad at you," he repeated to her.

"Then why talk to me now?" Bella said to Edward, her voice a little louder than before.

Edward let out a deep breath before attempting to explain.

"Like I said, Bella, you have plenty of reason to be mad at me. I saw the hurt in your eyes that night and I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't keep hurting you," he paused briefly to hold himself together as his mind brought up images of Bella crying in the hospital bed telling him to leave. "I just thought it was for the best. But I was never mad at you."

Bella looked at him, her eyes wide with sympathy as she listened to his heartfelt confession. "I never knew you felt that way," her voice slightly hushed.

Edward broke a small smile. "Well how could you?" he asked rhetorically.

"Listen, Edward," Bella began as she shifted herself so that she was leaning more towards him from across the table, "I owe an apology for how acted when we . . . that night at the hospital. I had just woken up and to be quite honest, it all feels like a blur. I just remember waking up and not knowing where I was, how I got there, or who anyone was. The doctors had just diagnosed me with amnesia. And then . . ." her voice broke.

Edward could see how difficult it was for her to talk about this. He instinctively reached his hands out to touch hers to comfort her but she had tucked them away under the table before he could reach them.

"It's okay, Bella, you don't have to . . . " he started but she continued on anyway as if he hadn't spoken.

"And then I overheard Jacob and my dad. I heard them talking about a car crash and head trauma. Then they said your name," she stared deep into his glistening green eyes. "Edward Cullen," she said his name slowly to stress and enunciate each syllable distinctly. He loved the way his name sounded whenever it flowed out of her mouth. Her cheeks turned a light crimson and she squeezed her eyes shut tight as though to hold back tears.

Edward didn't let go of her gaze, holding for as long as he could. He felt countless emotions running through him and between them. Relief. Sadness. Fear. Joy. He let Bella finish her side of what happened that night.

She rushed the words out as quickly as possible. "The next thing I know, you are in room. So, when you told me who were I freaked out. I just completely and totally panicked. I don't remember what I told you but you looked so hurt, just so sad. I only recalled that later though. At the time I was just too emotionally unstable and I just wanted you to go away. I wanted to be alone, but I . . ." she stopped suddenly out of breath.

Edward didn't want her to go any further seeing how wearisome it was for her. "Don't, Bella," he said to her in a low voice. "You don't have to explain yourself to me like this. I just need to know one thing."

"What?" she asked.

He took a deep breath before speaking. "I need to know if you can forgive for me. Just . . . just for everything."

Bella gave him a sweet smile, the edges of her mouth turning up just the tiniest bit but enough to make his heart leap. "It was an accident, Edward. I know that."

Edward was taken back by this. "You do?" disbelief evident in his voice.

Bella nodded. "Jake finally admitted it after a while. He did originally tell me it was on purpose but . . .," she trailed off, shaking her head. "I don't know. I saw you everyday at school and you just didn't seem like that type of person that would do something like that."

One of the corners of Edward's lips turned up a little before turning very serious. "Your right, I am not that type of person. I would never intentionally hurt you, emotionally, physically, or any which way. I admit that I mess up a lot, but it's not at all on purpose. I swear." That's when he felt the tightness build up in his throat again. He was afraid it wasn't going to be able to get the rest of it out but it couldn't let that happen. He had to fight it.

Edward leaned in towards the table, staring very deeply into her eyes with a burning intensity. His voice was very low and controlled when he spoke. "You so very important to me, Bella. More than anything."

Bella quickly looked away, her cheeks flushed. For a moment she looked almost embarrassed but hid it with a light air of laughter. She then looked at him with her head turned slightly to the side. "We were good friends, weren't we? Before all of this," she asked unknowingly.

"Yes," he whispered softly to her. "We still can be."

Bella's eyes darted around nervously as she gently bit down on her lower lip. Seeing the hesitation in her eyes, Edward quickly added, "If you want to, that is." He tried to sound as honest as possible but he knew that last part didn't sound too convincing.

She mustered up somewhat of a smile but she seemed distracted by some other though far off in her mind. "Oh I don't know, Edward. I mean, things have changed. I have changed."

Edward wasn't going to let this go that easily. "Well can't we just at least try, Bella," he persisted, trying to sound optimistic. "We have known each other all our lives and maybe if we spend some time together your memory might start to come back."

"It's not that," Bella disagreed, "it's just what, well, Jacob doesn't like you . . . at all."

Edward nodded but didn't fully comprehend what she was trying to get at by bring that up. "Yeah, well the feeling is mutual but I don't see what that has to do with anything."

Bella went on to explain. "Well if I start spending a lot of time with you, that wouldn't be exactly fair to him."

He let out a frustrated sigh. I don't want to hear this. I don't care about Jacob. Why does she have to drag him into this? Edward thought to himself.

"I still don't think I understand, Bella. You can be friends with more than one person at a time." Edward knew his voice sounded too abrupt and was overly defensive for no good reason, but he couldn't stop the words from coming out of his mouth. He was just plain tired of always being pushed aside for Jacob. Here, he was finally thinking that maybe all hope was not lost with salvaging his friendship with Bella and he was going to ruin it.

Bella rolled her eyes at him, something she only did if she was highly annoyed, so he knew he had pushed her too far. He mentally cursed himself for being so stupid.

"He is my boyfriend, Edward. What do you want me to do?" she snapped at him.

In that short second, everything stopped moving and became still. Edward felt as though he had been kicked in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. Boyfriend? Jacob Black was her boyfriend? He didn't know what to say. When did this happen? How could I have not seen it?

"Boyfriend?" he stammered trying to get the word out.

Bella felt the sudden sting of regret for being so harsh. She had never expected Edward to respond like that.

"I am sorry, Edward," she told him softly. "I thought you knew."

He shook his head as he stared down at his hands. "I didn't."

Neither one of them said a word to the other for what felt like an eternity. Edward looked up, down, and all around the room, anywhere as long as he wasn't looking Bella straight in her eyes. He was afraid of what he might say to her. His mind ran wild at all the possible things that could slip out of his mouth if he was to let his emotions get the best of him.

Bella let out a loud sigh. "He isn't a bad person," she tried to explain to Edward. "I know you two may not get along but he cares about me and I care about him also. He was been amazing this past couple of weeks, trying to help me remember things and all."

He scoffed at the thought. Remember things? Edward thought to himself. What can he possibly help her remember? They spent two damn months together. That's it! He doesn't know anything about her.

Bella studied Edward closely when he didn't say anything. How he had his jaw tightly clenched, his cold, hard stare. She waited another moment before she spoke again.

"Are you not going to say anything?" she questioned him.

Edward finally brought his eyes back up to meet hers. "Do you love him?" The words came out of his mouth before his mind could even register what he was saying. Luckily for him, Bella, too, was shocked, giving him enough to somewhat cover himself. "Wait, don't answer that."

"I wasn't planning on it," Bella replied with a bit of an edge in her voice. "It's none of your business."

Edward took a deep breath and leaned in closer towards Bella across the lunch table. "Look, all I am saying is that he is going to break your heart and I don't want to see you get hurt." He struggled to keep his voice low and controlled.

"Excuse me?" she exclaimed, for she was offended by his accusation. "Jacob would never hurt me. You have no right saying things like that about him when you don't even know him."

That was it. That was the last straw for Edward. He could feel the fuse of his temper reach its end. He vehemently slammed his hands down on the table in a fit of fury as he stood up. "God damn it, Bella!" he shouted. "He doesn't care about you! I don't care what he has told you. He is only going out with you just to prove to me that he can. He doesn't want you."

Bella looked up at him, taken back by his sudden furious outburst and infuriated expression. But it was his words that cut into her like a sharp knife. She immediately felt her eyes begin to swell up with tears.

"Is it that impossible for someone to actually want to be with me?" she asked, her voice breaking halfway through as her tears constricted her voice.

It was only then that Edward realized what he has just exactly told Bella. Of course that was not at all how he meant it, but hearing it the way he said it, he couldn't really be surprised that she had taken it the wrong way. He closed his eyes briefly as he let the painful reality sink in.

He instinctively reached out to touch Bella's arm, but she quickly pulled back. "That is not what I meant, Bella. I didn't mean it like –" but Bella rushed out of her seat, jerking her arm away from him, as she grabbed her backpack and books before he could go any further.

"Leave me alone," she muttered under her breath as she pushed past him.

Edward followed her across the cafeteria. "Bella, please, listen to me. I am sorry. Of course it is not impossible. In fact, it is the farthest thing from impossible. If only you could understand -"

Bella hastily turned around to face Edward so that they were only inches apart.

"So what I am stupid now, too?" she shouted at him. Edward did not know what to say. He was afraid that if he tried to defend himself again that Bella would just take what he was trying to tell her the wrong way, twisting his words around, something he assumed she must had picked up from spending so much time with Jacob. So in place of that, he simply stared at her. Here, he could see the hurt written all over her face: her cheeks were burning a bright red from anger, her eyes were watery and puffy, and her lower lip was quivering ever so slightly because she felt overwhelmed. Edward quickly darted his eyes away, not being able to stand the thought that he had done this to her yet again.

"Just stop it, Edward," Bella eventually pleaded, her voice low and strained from crying. "You know, all this time I thought Jacob was wrong about you. But it turns out that he was right. You have no regard for anyone but yourself." Her words burned from his surface down deep into his core.

He shook his head. "No don't say that, Bella, please. I'm just trying to protect you." Without thinking, he softly placed his hand on her cheek, touching her again for the first time. Why am I always trying to touch her?, he thought to himself.

Bella didn't answer right away. Instead, she looked intently at him trying to make sense of everything that was happening and how strangely he appeared to be behaving. But then she gave up. "Well if that's the case, then stop trying to protect me," she told him sharply right before storming away, leaving Edward standing alone in the crowded lunchroom.

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Edward drove with caution down the road as the rain pounded against his car. He had been trying to be the epitome of a safe driver since his dad gave him his driving privileges back a few days ago. But even with that responsibility back on his shoulders, he couldn't get his conversation that he had with Bella earlier that week out of his head. I finally had my one opportunity to fix everything and I blew it.

At this point, Edward didn't even feel the burning ache in his heart anymore. Now, he felt nothing but numbness. Emotionless, cold numbness, which, as it turns out, is worse than the agony. Edward felt like a part of him had betrayed him by stopping him from experiencing the hurt. I guess time does heal all wounds. But he wished it didn't. He didn't feel like he deserved to be relieved of the guilt and anguish.

When he finally reached his home, Edward quickly grabbed his backpack from the front passenger seat and dashed quickly from the car to the door so he wouldn't get too wet from the rain. He threw his backpack onto the floor and took his black jacket off, hanging it up in the closet. He noticed out of the corner of his eye a yellow post-it on the kitchen table and walked over to read it. It was in his mother's handwriting: "Edward and Alice, I ran to the grocery store to pick up something to make for dinner and then I am going to bank. I shouldn't be out too long. Call me if you need me."

Edward let out a sigh of relief. Although he wasn't sure for how long, he had the house to himself since Alice had gone by Rosalie's house to study. He felt much over due for some serious alone time. He considered doing his homework to get it out of the way but opted to out it off until later. So instead, Edward plopped himself onto the couch with a couple of chocolate chip cookies Esme had made the previous day. He turned on the TV and quickly flipped through the channels, but found nothing of interest. Therefore, he shut it off and just finished the cookies.

With a deep breath, Edward leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. He reveled in the silence that filled the house, minus the rain thudding against the roof and windows. The sound of the rain gave him a slight sense of normally but he knew that nothing was ever going to be truly normal ever again. It couldn't. Not with Bella out of his life for good.

His train of thought was suddenly interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Edward opened his eyes as he sat up, looking over towards the door. It is probably Alice. I bet she forgot her house keys, he figured.

He let out a let sigh as he dragged himself off the couch and walked over to the door. He opened it and his jaw involuntarily dropped as he took in the sight before him.

Her dark brown, mahogany hair was dripping wet as were her clothes. It seemed as though she had been standing there for a while before ringing the door bell. But what caught Edward's eye the most was the drops of water streaming down of her face. He could instantly tell that it was not due to rain but that she had been crying for her gentle eyes were slightly swollen.

Before he could say anything to her, Bella fell into his arms. She quickly wrapped her arms around Edward's neck and sobbed into his neck, pulling him close to her. Edward was stunned, as thought frozen in place, but regardless, it look him less than half a second for him to tightly wrap his arms around Bella as they stood out in the pouring rain. He could feel her tears seeping into his shirt along with the rain but he didn't say anything. He just let her get it all out.

Edward had no idea how long they were standing there together. Bella's tears didn't let up as they held onto each other. Edward kept one of his hands placed on the small of her back while he brought the other up to stroke the back of her head. Between her broken sobs with her head still buried in the crook of Edward's neck, Bella spoke.

"You were right," was all she was able to get out. Her throat was too constricted from crying and the tears.

In that moment, Edward had no idea what he was right about but quite frankly, he didn't care. All that matter now was Bella and that she needed him. For whatever reason, she came back to him today. Even though she was hysterical crying, Bella pulled him closer to her. And this time, Edward wasn't letting her go.

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So there you have it, I hope it was somewhat worth the wait and I apologize for the cliffhanger and once again for making you wait so long. I tried really hard to plan this chapter out well in my head first before complying it all together. And I know so far this story has been kind of dark and depressing (I hadn't planned on it going on like this for so long) so I do apologize for that as well. I don't want to give anything away but get ready to start seeing some light coming through into the story lol. But anyways, please don't forget to review with your thoughts, comments, and criticisms. They all mean a lot to me and love reading them. I cant believe that I already have almost 100. I am so excited! Anyways, I am working on the next chapter right now and as long as there are no computer problems or illnesses, I promise to have it up soon.