Haha! This is just something I cooked up that shows a normal day in Red Alert's job. After all, he truly has one of the most thankless jobs…
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Red Alert sighed as he finished typing into the computer. Prowl's voice crackled over the intercom. "Red Alert, have you finished designing that computer virus?"
"Nearly, I'm having trouble with the recovery program. It's mediocre to hack in. Any half-way decent mech with an Vorn's experience should hack into it in about an Orn."
"I see. When do you think you'll get it done?"
"Well, depending on how many mechs decide that their going to be bored and destroy the security camera's, oh about ten or twelve orn's."
"I'll make sure that none disturb you."
"Good."
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The virus was finally complete and done. He had also managed to get it done in five orn's, enlisting Bluestreak's unwilling help. Then he had set Bumblebee on trying to hack it through. Bumblebee, got frustrated halfway through, and retreated with it to his room.
With a groan of relief, Red Alert sent it to Prowl. "Done."
"Good." Silence fell for a few seconds before Prowl said slowly, "One of our outpost's was attacked."
"Which one?"
"A-t48893."
"Ah, it had a weak security setup. I believe that half of the cameras didn't work, no one ever bothered watching the camera' s, and the code's haven't been changed in nearly five vorn's. I kept no information on their databanks, and it wasn't connected to any other."
"Good. But, what are the security codes?"
"The master code there is 7987. It'll get you into any room."
"Very well. Have you got the training videos done?"
"No, I sent Jazz to do that. He's more in touch with what bot's want to watch then I am."
Prowl was silent for a few minutes, and finally said, " About how busy are you?"
"I'll be there in two breems. Dust off your chest board and get ready to loose."
Prowl's link went dead. Red Alert laughed to himself as he paged the two bots who were supposed to be on duty. He got back grumbling replies which he ignored. Silently he stalked out of the room, knowing that none would dare sneak up on them today. They had fought yesterday, and all Decepticon's knew that the Arc was still thirsting for energon.
Red Alert passed by the med bay, expecting to hear Ratchet unleashing his fury. There was only silence, but a large group of chattering Autobot's passed by, making Red Alert draw back to avoid being trampled. Then Prowl's office, a small, calm oasis in the middle of a desert.
About once a vorn they got together and played chess, or, as it usually boiled down to, just plain complained about their jobs. Both were dedicated, but their was a snapping point, and the fact that their official labels as, 'unfeeling psychopaths who wouldn't know relaxation if it rose up and bit them in the skid plates' made them both furious. They dedicated much more time and effort then most did. True, they may not fight, but they were the ones who made sure that the fights didn't go too wrong.
So, they had a simple commander-to-commander talk. They allowed no one else to enter, not even Prime. Prime, despite his good intentions had no idea how his two top commanders felt, simply because he was best beloved of all autobot's. It was Prowl and Red Alert who dished out the punishments.
Ratchet had only once heard a snippet, and that was because he was going to check up on Prowl's programming. Even he didn't understand. Ratchet was wildly popular among the autobot's for his skill, even if he did throw items. But the bot's knew it was because he cared, and was scared that one day he wouldn't be able to fix them.
But no one liked them. So, now, Red Alert was about to release all his pent up energy. But he had to stop in surprise. Prime, Ratchet, and Ironhide were all in the room. Prowl motioned him over, saying softly, "They want to know what goes on."
"Ah. Very well then."
Silently they began playing.
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By the time it was over, they were furiously battling each other with words, comparing punishments, times, old battles, mech' s and a variety of other things. Prime, Ratchet and Ironhide had long since retreated to outside of the room.
Red Alert knocked off Prowl's queen, as he snapped, "Oh, and I suppose you assigning Sunstreak to the brig detail for a few orn's was supposed to be torturing them?"
"Yes, it was. And it worked too, didn't it?"
"Not half as fast as assigning Blur. The guy talked so much and so fast, the Decepticon's just simply wanted out."
Both glared at each other across the table, until Red Alert at last sighed. Prowl moved his Rook, and smirked, "Checkmate. You played worse then usual. Usually we get in a near tie."
"Yesterday was horrible. Tomorrow is going to be even worse. A party, for Prime's creation day. Oh, what a great thing this is going to be. I'm going to end up on monitor duty so that way others can party." Red Alert explained, knowing full well what Prowl meant.
"You can join the party. I plan on doing so."
"Because Jazz promised you--"
"--Stop right there! Not another word." Red Alert nodded, and Prowl continued, "Yes, you're right, Jazz did, but I also do know how to relax a little. And if you don't come Inferno might come to drag you out."
"Mph. I'm not leaving. My paranoid glitch wouldn't calm down the entire time. I'll lock the doors and keep him out for the party. After a few breems he'll get tired and go back to the party."
Prowl raised an optic ridge, but kept silent. Red Alert stood up and sighed. "And I suppose I should do a last minute sweep to make sure that all the high-energon is ok. I just found a news article that a company has been processing faulty energon, and is recalling it back. That mean's I'll also have to go into the twin's stash too…"
Prowl's optic's reflected sympathy for a few moments before he said, "Good luck."
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"Never, ever again." Red Alert moaned the word's aloud as he limped along the passage, his leg bent slightly out of shape.
Tucked under his arm were three packages of the faulty energon. Not that he told the Twin's of course. He had simply quoted book 10, page 500, paragraph 2, and sub-line 8. 'No high energon of any kind is allowed onboard a battle spaceship, unless properly dispensed by the cafeteria workers.'
The twin's protested until he threatened to lock them up in the brig. But he still had to trip, and now he was going have to go to Ratchet to get the leg fixed. Red Alert decided to wait until after Ratchet was finished with the twins.
Red Alert tossed the energon into a tube that would take it to the waste disposal, and limped the rest of the way to the control room. There, Jazz waited with training video's on hand. " Here you go!"
Then Jazz was off and away, leaving Red Alert very much alone. With a soft groan of relief he eased himself into the chair…only to haul himself right back out again. Someone had tampered with camera 2-5443. Its image was fuzzy, and Red Alert had no doubt that it was the twin's revenge.
"Wheeljack, the camera outside of the rec room is broken. Could you please-"
BOOM! Red Alert stopped talking and sighed. He'd go fix it himself.
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It wasn't until the start of the party that Red Alert was allowed to rest. During that time he had picked up ten more cubes of faulty energon, enough to poison the entire arc; fixed ten cameras; and managed to threaten fifteen mech's with various punishments unless they obeyed.
Red Alert collapsed into his chair and watched as the party got started. He had remembered to lock the door, but something sad tugged at his spark. He would sometimes like to relax, to enjoy, but when it came down to it, he had no time. A pounding began on the door. Red Alert ignored it, but it persisted for nearly five breems.
Finally, a frustrated voice called through, "Red, unless you open the door now, I'll break it down and drag you out by the tail pipe."
Red Alert's optics didn't even flicker. He had heard that threat many times, but as of yet, Inferno had yet to do it, and Inferno couldn't break down the door anyways. He surveyed the cameras, and stopped the camera outside of the room. Inferno stood there, alone, with a few cubes of energon. He did not have the look of dragging the unwilling Red Alert to a party; instead he seemed more like he was bringing a small party with him.
Inwardly he wrestled with himself, and decided to take a chance. The door hissed open, and Inferno bounded through, energon cubes in hand. "I knew I wouldn't be able to drag you out, so I'm bringing the party to you!"
Red Alert took the cube, slightly stunned. "But, don't you want to party with the rest?"
"Ah, Red, I knew you'd be alone, and didn't want to join the party, so I thought why not."
Red Alert shook his head, and silently they sat. Then Red Alert gestured to the montior's. "The party is getting into full swing now. They even have Prime drunk."
Inferno perked up and said, "Now that I have to see. C'mon Red!"
Red Alert allowed himself to be dragged to the party. He would return after seeing Prime drunk. After all, it didn't happen often.
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So, how did ya like it? I re-edited it, so it should be better. Right?