Getting Over It

by Bluebird88

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or any of its characters or plotlines. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: Story takes place after the last scene in "Heartbreak," when Kate goes down to autopsy to see the body of the ensign she kills. It was written mainly to satisfy the part of me that felt like she needed more than the gruff response Gibbs gave her.

Gibbs has been watching his agent all day, seeing the look on her face. He's seen her upset before, but never like this. This goes beyond the regret any agent would feel at having to shoot a troubled kid. She's not just feeling guilty. She's completely lost. Tony doesn't know where she is when Ducky asks, but Gibbs does. Because it's exactly where he would be. Hell, where he has been, in similar situations.

"It was suicide by cop, Kate," he'd told her. "Get over it." He knows he was harsh. But like it or not, that's what she had needed. A firm voice telling her to get back to work. Sympathy would have shattered her, and he had needed her focused. But now she needs something more from him, and Gibbs has no intention of letting any of his people down.

He stands in the doorway to autopsy, watching her. She hasn't noticed him yet. In any other situation, he'd already be barking at her to pay more attention to her surroundings. She used to be Secret Service, after all. She knows better. But for now, Gibbs lets her have her moment. Everything about her posture screams of pure anguish. He's seen this before - after a young marine's first kill, or following a friendly fire tragedy. He's seen men consumed by guilt throw their lives, their careers away. He's not going to let that happen to her. Not to one of his own.

Time to announce himself, then. "C'mere, Kate." His voice is quiet, but it is not a request.

She actually jumps, she's so startled, and for a moment he's almost amused. Then she drags her sleeve hastily across her face. He rolls his eyes. Like he wouldn't realize she'd been crying. Right. She stares at him, but doesn't move. The deer-in-the-headlights expression worries him, so he decides it's time to snap her out of it.

"Special Agent Todd. Come. Here." Even in her current state, Kate responds instinctively to that tone. The ex-gunny voice, DiNozzo likes to call it, when he thinks Gibbs can't hear him. As always, it gets results. She comes to stand in front of him, but she won't meet his eyes. He taps a gentle finger under her chin, bringing her face up towards his. "It's time to move on."

"Gibbs, I shot an innocent kid!" She's bordering on hysterical, hands fidgeting, voice breaking slightly.

"No," he tells her calmly. "You took down a potential threat. He was pointing a gun. You did exactly what you were supposed to do. What you were trained to do." He leans in close to her and continues, annunciating each word carefully, "You did nothing wrong."

She looks nothing so much as defeated, now. "I still killed him," she whispers, and her eyes are bright again.

Gibbs just shakes his head. "No, Kate. You just pulled the trigger."

He watches her reaction carefully, wishing he could just grab her by the arms and will her into believing it, but it doesn't work like that. At least she seems to be absorbing what he's said. And if she can't forgive herself yet, maybe she can at least remember that there's more to the story than she's been willing to admit.

Making a decision, he settles a hand firmly on her shoulder, guiding her out of the room and towards the elevator. She doesn't speak until they reach the bullpen. Then she tells him, "I just want to go home, boss."

He nearly smiles. She hardly ever calls him that. But then he shakes his head. "Nope. You're gonna come with me for a while."

"Where?"

"My place."

Her eyebrows nearly reach her hairline, and she all but sputters, "Gibbs! Wha – I can't!"

He holds back a chuckle as he abruptly realizes how that must have sounded to her. Exasperated, he informs her, "You've been spending too much time around DiNozzo. You need some time to process things, and I don't want you alone while you're doing it."

"Gibbs, I'm fine! I don't need a babysitter." But there's an almost-pleading look in her eyes, one that makes him suspect that he's not the only one who thinks she's not ready to be alone.

"Oh, yeah. I can see that," he says, sarcasm coating his every word. "Real fine." More gently, he adds, "Face it, Agent Todd. You go home now, you're either going to drink yourself sick or spend the night wallowing in guilt. Neither option is particularly conducive to me getting an agent back at work tomorrow who's prepared to do her job."

"Well, you got any suggestions?" He's pleased to see some fire back in her. He'll take anger, if that's going to help her get over this faster. Anything is better than numbness.

"Yeah. I'm gonna put you to work. C'mon!" He waves an impatient arm at her, then heads for the parking lot, not bothering to check that she's following.

She's silent on the ride home, and Gibbs takes his cue from her. He's certainly not the type to force someone to talk. He pulls into the driveway and motions wordlessly for her to follow, leading her inside. He stops at the fridge to toss her a bottle of water, then makes his way down to the basement, flipping on the light and heading for the workbench.

Palming a sander, he hands it to her, then gestures towards the boat. "With the grain. Don't think. Just work."

She begins, hesitantly at first, then with a little more speed. For a few moments, there's no sound but that of the gritty paper on wood. Then her movements become more and more frantic, until she throws the sander aside. "I can't do it, Gibbs! I just…maybe I'm not cut out for this. I can't take it!"

"Hey! C'mere." He turns her around to face him, resting both hands on her trembling shoulders. "You look at me, Kate, and you listen to what I'm telling you. You did nothing wrong. You understand me?"

Reluctantly, she nods. But she doesn't look any happier. "How do you get over something like this, Gibbs?"

"You don't. You just learn to live with it."

At that, her face crumples, and the emotions that have been tearing at her all day rise to the surface. Hesitating only a moment, he pulls his sobbing agent close, wrapping strong arms around her and speaking quietly against her ear. "Shh. Shh, now. It's gonna be OK. I promise you. You're gonna be OK."

He lets her cry for a while, rubbing her back firmly and continuing to murmur quiet reassurances. When her desperate tears begin to turn into occasional gasps, he pushes her gently away, hands settling once more onto her shoulders. "Give it time, Kate. Give it time."

He bends to retrieve the discarded sander and wraps her fingers around it. He leads her over to the boat and, one arm on either side of her, covers her hands with his own and guides the tool against the wood.

"With the grain."

A/N: Feedback is more than welcome! I would love to know what you thought.