Another fic from Inky Seraph. Well... I've decided to make a CRACK fic this time. I'm getting tired of writing the same thing all over again and decided that it's more fun to write a comical one. So here it is.
Disclaimer: Naruto is NOT mine, okay?
--o0o--
I
"Eeewww…that's disgusting…"
A poor boy walked on the corridor of their school—with people looking at him with repugnance. Yeah poor, very ironic to what he really is—very rich—I mean bloody rich. Why? Well…he's just the youngest son of one of the most famous businessmen in Japan—Uchiha Fugaku. And their clan is known for being freaking well-heeled. Tsk…tsk…what a lucky brat. Anyway, back to his misery…
Okay I'll clear this 'poor' thing. Let's look on the other meaning of poor, shall we? (opens dictionary) Here. It also means deserving pity. (closes the dictionary) And yep, he deserves pity. Just look at him. Those banana peels and bubblegums on his blue-black locks; those (eww…what's that?) green slimes on his thick, foggy glasses; and the dirt on his uniform—he looks like he had been dumped on a filthy garbage bin. Well…in actuality, he had been.
Few minutes ago…
A jet-black Lamborghini halted in front of the gates of Ohsaka Gakuen. A boy at the age of 12 stepped out of the said car. His blue-black hair was divided in equal halves; each half neatly held in a single low ponytail above his nape. His new, well-polished, luxurious leather shoes met the cobblestone ground of their school. He then adjusted his thick, shiny geek glasses and hoisted up his bag and proceeded walking towards their campus.
His day could have been great if only he hadn't run into them. He gulped when he saw a group of boisterous students walking on his way. He had no other choice. To greet them or to be beaten by them. He stuck on the first thing that had come up on his mind.
"O-ohayo Master." He stammered as he approached the group. The presumably leader went in front of him and then smirked.
"Yeah, the morning would be better if we'd have some fun right?"
The black haired boy nodded timidly.
The person in front of him grinned—a very wicked grin.
"You know what to do to him guys!"
Then the boy found himself being lifted by the bullies. "W-wait master where would you take me?" the boy asked as he struggled from the arms of the thugs.
The leader just smiled at him sweetly.
"Enjoy"
"Matte! Let go of me!" the boy screamed. The bullies only laughed nefariously.
And they dumped the hapless boy on a mucky trash bin.
Back at present…
The inky haired boy sighed exasperatedly and adjusted his glasses.
"I wish middle school would go fast." He mumbled as he twisted the golden knob of their classroom's door.
--o0o--
Three years later…
"Young Master, we're here."
The said 15 year old young man jerked awake from his light nap and instantaneously turned his head to see the name of his new school written on big golden metal plate embedded on the university's brick walls.
Konoha Gakuen it says. The most prestigious school in Japan. It is known for their high standards and most of all, rich students.
"Thanks Tenjo." He mumbled as the white haired old man muttered a 'no problem young master'. The blue-black haired boy then got out of the silver Porsche as more expensive cars halted in front of the university.
The blue-black haired boy adjusted his thick glasses and hoisted up his bag. He wore a black pair of pants and a black gakuran top with the Konoha insignia on the upper left. He lifted his chin and then marched happily through the marble stone pavement of his new school.
'Now I wouldn't be a slave to no one!' he exclaimed inwardly as his face held an invincible façade—one that he hadn't made for years—as he thought of the one who always bully him back when he was in middle school.
"High school would sure be great." He mumbled to himself and set a foot on the first step of the marble stairs of Konoha Gakuen.
--o0o--
The sun was high as it signaled that it is indeed early in the morning. The residents of Grubby St. were already on their way to work.
"Cock-a-doodle-doo!" went a burgundy cock; attempting to wake up the resident in the small (almost wrecked as it looks) house on which it was perching at.
Light began to pass through the not-so-well-built window of the diminutive house; effectively illuminating the asleep crouched figure on the futon. Loud snorts could be heard as the person making the noise rolled to a side and landed on the cold wooden floor of the very small room. Her short pink locks were scattered wildly on her face and one of her leg was held high, resting on the nearby wall as liquid from her mouth—presumably saliva—went spilled on wooden floor.
"TELETUBBIES, TELETUBBIES, TINKY WINKY, DIPSY, LAA-LAA, P—"and the ill-fated Teletubbies alarm clock wasn't given the chance to complete it's waking up song as a heavy hand smacked the ill-starred alarm clock, effectively crushing it to pieces.
The owner of the heavy hand then sat up wearily and yawned. She scratched her sleepy eye with the back of her hand and stretched. Her right hand then went to her unruly pink hair and scratched it, all the while turning her head to see her brand new Teletubbies alarm clock crushed into pieces.
"Oh well, I'll just buy another one later." She mumbled and glanced at her window. She saw her neighbor named Junko came out of their house on the Konoha Gakuen uniform. She raised a brow at the orange haired girl.
"So early" she mumbled to herself. She looked outside to see the friendly sun shining high. Just then, it hit her—hard.
"WHAT THE HELL! I'M FREAKING GONNA BE LATE!"
Junko and her father turned their heads to see a very agitated pink haired girl, almost crushing their poor excuse for a house.
"What's up with Sakura?" Her father asked.
Junko can only shrug.
--o0o--
"Hey Sasuke-teme!" a boisterous blonde young boy with odd whiskers on his tan cheecks exclaimed as he approached the seated blue-black haired boy.
"Oi Naruto!" the latter boy greeted as the blonde boy settled his things on the wooden chair in front of the inky haired boy.
"What's up? You look so happy."
Sasuke remained his happy façade and adjusted his glasses. "Of course, now that Master could never gonna bully me again."
"You know, I'll miss her…She's a hell of a classmate to me but I'll miss the way she trashes you on the garbage bin." Naruto said and laughed, only to receive a hard whack on the forehead.
--o0o--
Haruno's residence could be suspected being raided the way the only moving creature in the house run at every corner, hurrying to dress up and be ready for school.
The wooden door of the pink haired girl's room burst open as the 15 year old young lady stepped out of her room. Her pink locks were tucked in a black cap. She wore a white puff-sleeved blouse and a red ribbon at the end of the collar; a blue vest on top of it and a checkered green pleated knee-length skirt.
She ran to the fridge and took out distilled water. She then opened the cabinet and took out a canned adult's powdered milk. She took out a beaker and started making the milk.
She held the beaker and approached an old lady seated on a wheel chair in their tiny lounge.
"Ohayo B-chan!" she greeted and settled down the beaker on a nearby table. The old lady remained impassive as she stared at the channel-less TV.
"You know B-chan, it's my first day in high school and I'm really late," the pink head muttered as she crouched beside the old lady. She grabbed the syringe connected to her granny's stomach. She then held the beaker and slowly poured its contents on the syringe. She then put down the beaker and held the syringe back on its original place.
"There," she said and stood up.
The pink haired girl then turned to the small black and white TV and changed its channel.
Teletubbies, teletubbies…
And the old woman lightened up. She clapped her wrinkled hands—one of which is connected to a dextrose. With her weak, old voice, she sang as the TV displayed her favorite show.
"Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-laa, Po" the old woman sang and clapped as the show went on.
The pink haired girl smiled at her granny. She then pecked on her granny's wrinkled cheeks and grabbed her rucksack.
"Ok B-chan, I'll be back at lunch." She muttered and went outside to get her shoes.
She grabbed a faded black tattered leather shoes. "Tsk…tsk…" she clicked her tongue and went back inside to get something. She got out with a stapler and an electric tape. She sat down and started fixing her shoes. After some seconds, she held up her shoes. "Yes!" she said and wore them hastily.
She then went to a side to get her bike.
The burgundy cock went to her.
"Oh, Ohayo Mimi-chan." She said and patted the head of the cock. She then brought out some feeds. The cock pecked on it as the girl grabbed her tiny, rusty, old bike.
"Mimi-chan, take care of B-chan ah!" she told the cock as the cock looked at her. She smiled and then sped off to her new school.
--o0o--
"I'll be your class adviser." A silver haired man announced on his new class. "My name is Hatake Kakashi and I would be your Chemistry and History teacher. Any questions before we proceed to the orientation?"
The class shook their head.
"Ok then, let's proceed to the introduction of yourselves. Each one of you should say something about yourself. Tell us about the things that you like and the things that you hate." He said and gestured at the blonde girl in front. "You go first."
The girl nodded and went in front.
"Hi! My name is Yamanaka Ino. I like to go shopping and I really love flowers. I hate uncool people. I hope we can all be friends." She said and smiled.
"Okay next."
"My name is Nara Shikamaru." He paused and thought for something to say. "Oh…this is too troublesome." He muttered under his breathe. "I hope we can be friends."
"Next"
"Uh…my name is Hyuuga Hinata. Um…I love to cook. Uh…I don't have things to hate. Hope you all could me my friends."
"Next"
"My name is Aburame Shino. I love bugs and I hate people who hate bugs." The whole class sweatdropped.
"Next"
"Hi! My name is Inuzuka Kiba. I love dogs," and a white dog suddenly popped from Kiba's gakuran top.
Kakashi saw it.
"Kiba, pet's are not allowed in school." He told the brown haired boy sternly.
"Uh…gomen Kakashi-sensei," he said and went back to his seat.
"For the mean time, keep your dog in place and avoid letting the principal know this. You got that?"
Kiba nodded.
"Okay, next"
"Hello! My name is Uzumaki Naruto. I love ramen and I hate being called an idiot. Only Sasuke-teme calls me that." He said and laughed sheepishly. "Well…hope we all could be great friends!"
"Next"
"Hello! My name is Akimichi Chouji. I love barbeques and potato chips. I hate people who eats my last potato chip." The class' heads dropped animatedly.
"Next"
"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I love to read and…" he thought for another thing he likes. "…and read." And the students sweatdropped. "Well…I hate bullies."
"Next"
And on it went.
"Okay. Is there anyone who hadn't take turn yet?" Kakashi asked. The whole class shook their heads. "Okay then, let's proceed to the rules—"
And the wooden door suddenly burst open as a pink haired girl entered, gasping to catch her breathe.
"Gomen…I'm late…" she mumbled between gasps.
Sasuke turned his head to see a familiar girl on the door.
His obsidian orbs instantly went wide.
"Okay, come here and introduce yourself."
The girl nodded and went in front.
"I am Haruno Sakura. Nice to meet you."
And the whole class heard a girlish scream followed by a loud thud. They turned their heads to see an unconscious Uchiha Sasuke lying ham-fistedly on his wooden desk.
Tsuzuku…
--o0o--
And that's just the start of their weird story. Thanks for reading! Please wait for the next chapter. Ja ne!