A/N: Hello there my dears! So, I realized that I hadn't posted a Draco/Hermione story in ages and as this little idea has been pestering me for some time, I decided to give it a shot! I'm fairly certain that it's a bit OOC, but the effect should still be cute. Just don't take it too seriously!
So, I really hope you guys enjoy this! And as always, review!
Cheers!
Jess xx
Disclaimer: If I someday manage to clone myself into J.K, I'll let you know. Until then, I'm still not her.
Draco's Quest
" And I was thinking that we should get married in about four years. I know that it sounds like a long time baby, but if you think about it, you're going to need at least two years to pick out the perfect engagement ring and figure out exactly how you're going to propose to me. Then I'll need an extra two years to plan the actual wedding and…"
Draco slowly counted up to ten as he carefully exhaled through his nose. He had to remind himself for the umpteenth time why it wasn't a good idea to simply make Pansy suffocate on her ice cream cone and run away while she choked and died.
"…so I really don't think that we should have children until we've bought our house in Paris…"
At the moment though, he couldn't remember the exact reason as to why that was such a bad idea.
"…we'll definitely need at least five maids and two nannies if we want to find a bit of spare time for all those trips to the Caribbean that I've been planning…"
Maybe she wouldn't even notice if he simply walked away…
"…but I really don't think that we should get a dog. I always hated those revoltingly smelly things…"
"Pansy!" Draco suddenly interrupted.
"Yes, my love?" She smiled. Or at least attempted to anyway. Draco thought that it looked more like a grimace with her pug face features.
He carefully arranged his expression into what he hoped was an adoring stare.
"Would you stand still for just a moment and close your eyes? I have a surprise for you."
Pansy squealed in delight, which made Draco cringe and shudder, before coming to an abrupt halt and squeezing her eyes shut.
Draco heaved a quick sigh of relief before whipping around and running away as fast as if he were running away from the Devil himself.
Which, he thought as he looked over his shoulder at the rapidly shrinking form of the girl, he probably was.
Why on Earth had he ever agreed to go out with Pansy? Was he crazy?
He knew perfectly well that the girl was a raving psychopath. Enough of his mates had told him the chilling tales of their dates with her for him to be completely informed on her more than questionable behavior.
And yet…when she asked him out to the next Hogsmeade trip, he had still said yes.
Why?
"For the same damn reason that I said yes to Daphne, Millicent, Victoria, Claudia, Ashley and countless others." He muttered to himself.
You see, Draco was in fact searching for something very hard to find indeed. It was something that most people spend their entire lives dreaming about. An entity that has been portrayed millions of times in movies, sitcoms and in books. A phenomenon talked and heard about nation wide, a lifelong search for the human population.
Draco Malfoy was searching for love.
He had been looking for months; years even, for his soul mate…his other half, his true love, his bride, his object of adoration.
And he'd come up black.
After what seemed like hundreds of cataclysmic dates, he was beginning to lose hope entirely.
Pansy was but a pale shadow of a nightmare compared to what he had had to endure.
There had been the cat lover, the obsessive compulsive one, the bipolar one, the one that had practically raped him on their second date, the one that had turned out to be a man (he still got slightly nauseated at the thought of that particular evening), the one that had kept up an endless rant about spoon collecting, the one that had bought him twenty singing teddy bears on their first date and the one that had insisted on him meeting her entire family on the second date, including her butcher of a father.
Draco didn't know what it was that made him attract such loony females to himself time after time.
Maybe it was the hair…
Regardless, he was growing desperate. If things didn't pick up soon, Pansy would actually be his only option.
The idea about spending the rest of his life with her flashed through his mind.
He gagged at the images.
Right. Getting killed by a blimp was more appealing.
"I just don't get it, mate." Draco sighed as he flumped down onto his bed. "Am I emitting some sort of radioactive wave that somehow makes every living woman within my reach go insane?"
Blaise snorted. "That is a possibility." He agreed as he fell onto his own bed. "Our maybe all women are just crazy."
Draco shook his head. "That can't be it. Every male on Earth would've already killed himself if that were true."
Blaise nodded. "Then maybe you are radioactive, man."
Draco rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Blaise."
"No problem, mate." He said before hopping back up, giving Draco an apologetic slap on the shoulder and heading off to dinner.
Draco sighed as he rolled over onto his stomach, which promptly proceeded to growl loudly. He refused to go down to dinner as well. He didn't have any remaining courage or determination left to face Pansy.
Besides, he had some thinking to do.
Maybe he had been going about this situation the wrong way. There had to be an easier solution to this enigma than to go out with every individual girl at Hogwarts!
Maybe he should start dating them in packs or something…
He smirked at the idiotic idea before rolling over again onto his back and placing his hands under his head with a frustrated sigh.
What could possibly help him find his dearest wish?
Hmmm…wish…
The word seemed important, somehow. For an unfathomable reason, it rang a bell.
Draco frowned as a new train of thought began to take form in his mind.
What could give or show him his only wish? What object or mechanism could possibly do that?
He leapt to his feet in abrupt joy as the idea suddenly hit him.
"The Room of Requirement!" He exclaimed.
The solution was painfully obvious, now that he had realized it.
He would simply go down to the Room of Requirement and ask it to show him his true love!
Draco beamed at his own brilliance before checking his reflexion in the mirror and practically skipping out the door.
"This is perfect. Bloody genius!" He mumbled ecstatically as he made his way down another staircase.
"Why on Earth didn't I think about it before? I absolutely have to thank Blaise for showing me that room. I swear the guy's a freaking saint!" He exclaimed, not caring that he looked insane or uncommonly out of his normal smirking character as he hopped off of the last step and began running down yet another hallway that separated him from his destiny.
"I'll make sure to buy him a crate of Firewhiskey or something…" He muttered as he rounded a corner.
"That should do the- "
"OW! Darn it Malfoy, watch where you're going!"
Draco came to a sudden stop as he wheeled around to sneer at Granger, who was hopping up and down while clutching her foot.
"May I ask what the hell you are doing, Granger?" He asked amusedly.
"I'm suffering, you idiot. You ran over my foot! I think it's dead." She hissed, hopping over to the nearest wall and sliding down its length to sit on the floor so as to stop hopping around like a fool.
"Huh. Funny. I was under the impression that feet were inanimate objects and thus incapable of dying. How curious." He said, being purposely pompous to irritate her further.
She impatiently blew a stray lock of hair out of her face. "You're a moron." She concluded.
Draco pondered this for a moment. "I'm an intelligent moron." He responded.
Hermione gawked at him. "The whole purpose of being a moron is being unintelligent! How could you possibly be a smart moron? That's a complete contradiction!" She exclaimed.
"I know. I just wanted you're voice to get all high and squeaky. I love it when it does that." He said with an evil smile. God, annoying her was fun.
Hermione glared at him. "I didn't think it possible, but my regard for you has diminished even more. In addition to being a moron, you're also insufferable. Consider yourself very worthy of the title." She said, grinning at his indignant look.
"I'm not insufferable. That title would belong to you, oh High and Mighty Nerd Queen." He retorted.
Hermione snorted. "High and Mighty Nerd Queen? I like it. You should call me that more often. It's definitely flattering. Shall I call you Petty Yet Insupportable Imbecile?" She asked with an irritating smile.
"My Lord would be preferable." He said with a smirk.
"Oh, sorry! Lord Petty Yet Insupportable Imbecile then. Better?" She asked innocently.
"Marginally." He answered, quickly turning away as to hide the fact that he was actually grinning out of amusement.
Granger is not funny in any way. He told himself firmly.
"Well, I have business to be off to. I'll se you around oh dear Nerd Queen." He called over his shoulder as he began to walk away.
"Thanks for the help, Lord Imbecile." She retorted dryly, as she clumsily got to her feet and hobbled off.
Draco silently chuckled at her response before continuing on his way.
This is it. He thought apprehensively. The moment of truth.
He took a deep breath before starting to pace back in forth in front of the wall.
I want to find my soul mate. I want to find my soul mate. I want to find my soul mate.
He concentrated hard on the words, his eyes shut tight as be carefully walked past the stretch of blank wall.
"Here goes nothing." He mumbled, opening his eyes and reaching out to grasp the tiny handle that had appeared and slowly turning it.
"Draco Malfoy, explain yourself immediately!"
Draco froze as the door opened and came face to face with…
"Granger?" He choked out.
Hermione sighed impatiently. "Well, duh! What the heck just happened? I finally manage to stagger my way up to the common room and all of a sudden, poof! I land in this dark room and then you open the door!"
"Granger…" Draco whispered again.
"Yes, we already established that fact." She muttered icily.
He ignored her response.
It all made sense. Granger was intelligent as hell, always entertaining to talk to, challenging, confident, pretty. Hell, how had he never seen this before?
Hermione was still staring at him. "Well? Are you planning on explaining this anytime soon or are you just going to stand there like some idio-"
Her irritated rambling was cut short as Draco suddenly swooped down and pressed his lips to hers.
She completely froze as he pulled back and looked at her with a goofy yet slightly stunned smile.
"Did…did you just kiss me?" She stuttered.
"That usually is the definition of pressing ones lips to some else's." Draco responded.
"But…but…wha-?" She couldn't form words.
Draco shrugged. "Turns out that I'm your soul mate, Granger. Surprised much?" He asked bemusedly.
"My…my…what the hell? You're insane, Malfoy! Completely insane, you know that?" She screamed, her voice a few octaves higher than it was accustomed to being.
"You should get help." She said before pushing her way past him, not before he had managed to grab her arm, swirl her around and plant another sweet kiss on her lips though.
She stared in shock before violently shaking her head and shakily walking off.
"See you around Hermione." He called after her.
"He's crazy. He can't be my soul mate. And I did not enjoy that. I didn't. I didn't!" He heard her mutter as she stalked off.
He chuckled to himself before turning around and heading back to his common room.
It would take a lot of getting used to. He was still shocked at his discovery and even more so at his actions. And yet…he somehow felt that it was true. Some twisted, inexplicable side of himself knew that the room was somehow right.
Granger was his Queen, his Nerd Queen he thought with a grin, after all.
Huh. Who would've thought it?
A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it!