I Miss The Me You Loved
Chapter 16 – The Reason
I woke up and sighed. I held my head that was aching… probably from me thinking too much last night if what I was doing was right or not. I couldn't really get the answer so after those minutes of trying to figure out the 2 choices of right and wrong… I gave myself in to what was happening without other thoughts in my head expect how Sasuke was with me.
I sat up on the familiar silk quilted bed that felt like a milk bath that brushed my body and held the satin blanket to cover myself.
Yes, I was naked and yes last night did happen.
I looked at Sasuke sleeping beside me, his bare strong back moving up and down from his slow breathing. He was beautiful… gorgeous… perfect. And I was average. But before he would always say no matter what I think about myself that to him… I was the most perfect girl he had ever laid his eyes on. I smiled at the memory.
The sunlight that peeped through a little opening from the not properly closed curtains hurt my eyes a bit so I lay back down, still holding the blanket at my front. Looking at his sleeping face like this… it made me sigh and feel very light. I was very much in love with him, true… but did he feel the same? The doubt from my head yesterday night had come back. I knew he loved me… but what about now? Was this just a phase? After that all that's happen I hope he got it that I wouldn't be expecting things to go back normally to the way they were again. Especially when Ayuki's back… tsk… everything just got more complicated.
She was his… although I never wanted that and I don't want to accept it with whole truth but that was how things were right now… and I was only second… a cling-on… was I really gonna' stoop this low?
But the feeling of having him like this… if I could have him like this without any distractions AGAIN… it made me stronger to still fight to make him mine. But now wasn't that easy…
Having to deal with this right now made me feel uneasy… I figured maybe some coffee at that coffee shop near the park could help me think… adding that acoustic music in their background could really soothe me while I'm thinking everything over. I kissed his lips and whispered I love you to his ear and moved to his bathroom and changed.
I love my jellybeans! :) I love my jellybeans! :) I love my jellybeans! :)
Third person P.O.V
Sasuke woke up. He reached for Sakura but she wasn't there anymore. He moved and sat up abruptly thinking where she could be and what made her leave him like this. He inhaled deeply and massaged his temple. What happened last night was totally… sudden.
Although it was sudden… he didn't regret it. He had missed Sakura and no matter how hard he told himself he didn't and that he needed to move on, the fact that he needed to hold on because he loved her that was hidden in a box somewhere in his heart kept shouting to make it happen. Maybe that's why as he was trying so hard to ignore her… the more he needed her. And he needed to let her now… but how? Somewhere deep inside him he knew that if he told her… there would only be a 60/40 chance that that she would believe him given everything that had happened.
But how could he explain Ayuki? It wasn't his fault they broke up… she just wouldn't listen at that time… as far as he knew the guys have always bugged him why they broke up… even his parents… maybe now was the time to tell the others why they did and figure if they could give the right advice on how to make things right again cause for him right now, he didn't know how… but before he would tell them he needed Sakura… he needed her permission and he needed her to be there.
He stood up and headed for the showers.
I love my jellybeans! :) I love my jellybeans! :) I love my jellybeans! :)
"Mom have you seen Sakura?" Sasuke asked as soon as he landed on the first floor and saw his parents talking with Sakura's parents and the guys preparing the table for breakfast.
"Yes I have, honey… she just got out a few minutes ago… seems like she was a little bit stressed. What happened last night?" Mikoto asked with a raised brow.
"Well that's a funny question seeing as how loud those moans last night-"
Sasuke threw his dog's play ball full of saliva straight to Naruto's face.
"You keep quiet… Neji a little help?" Sasuke asked with a shrug.
"Sure" Neji walked over to Naruto and bonked his head with a bundle of carrots and smiled and put his right thumb up as soon as Naruto anime cried and fainted.
"What does he mean-"
"No time to explain mom… and I won't explain… it's private. Where did she go?"
"Fine… I don't know… she just said good morning and headed out the door-"
"Okay thanks, mom!"
Sasuke walked out the door. He needed to find her. He picked up his phone and dialed Ino's number.
"Hello?"
"Ino! Do you know where Sakura is?"
"Oh you… what did you do last night! Do you know how confused she's gonna be when-"
"Ino I know! That's why I need to know where she is…"
Ino was quiet for a while… she hesitated.
"Fine… but I'm not exactly sure if she's there but… try at the coffee shop near the park… she told me a couple of days ago that it looked like a nice place to think stuff over… but I was too tired to go with her back then…"
"Are you sure?"
"Hey I told you to try! What do you think I am psychic? I haven't heard from her since you stole her and practically made business with her last night in your room"
"Okay, okay… thanks Ino… and one more thing… can you get everyone… as in your friends and go to my house and tell everyone not to leave and that we need to tell you all something very important when me and Sakura gets back?"
"If you'll find her and get back with her sure… good luck."
He shut his phone and turned the corner of their street thinking that walking right now would be good.
I love my jellybeans! :) I love my jellybeans! :) I love my jellybeans! :)
Sakura's P.O.V
I looked at the engagement ring that was still on my left finger. I sighed and took it off and played with it with my fingers. I chuckled thinking that this… all of this was silly.
"Here's you vanilla latté ma'am. And your chocolate dome cake." The waiter smiled and dropped my order on my table.
"Thanks"
He walked away and the scent my drink gave me was so sweet that I thought it was making me high already. I looked at my cake… moist and rich thick chocolate that coated its soft vanilla froth inside. Yum, just what I need… just what a confused person would need.
I was right in picking this place… though it was full, probably because of the good reputation it has because of its good food and service, I could still think properly about this confusion and yet be at peace at the same time.
I took my fork and as soon as a slice of the cake was on it… I put it in my mouth.
Another piece of heaven on earth… I should come here more often.
Now to think…
Sasuke…
Ayuki…
Me…
Does he love me?
I know I love him but…
Damn this was so hard to deal with.
If he does love me… as he told me last night… as he also said he had for a while… then why was Ayuki in his picture when we broke up?
I didn't get it.
Now that everything was so confusing… should we tell the others why we broke up? Then maybe they could give the right advice…
But… what would they think? Maybe they'd think it was my fault.
No…
It wasn't my fault…
It was Sasuke's…
...
…
…
…
Was it?
I sipped from my drink. Bringing THAT memory back to my head made my heart ache once again. Knowing that something as strong as how we loved each other could end with just that one instance… I didn't like the feeling of regret… but with regret comes learning as I heard always from my parents who told me everything would be okay but they still wanted me to end up with Sasuke…
But if I told everyone… I needed Sasuke's permission first… I couldn't just take the advice all to myself and recalling that memory with them… I might say something that does not gonna be a positive side on Sasuke.
"Sakura…"
"Why are you here?"
"Look I'm sorry about last night… it was so sudden so I won't expect you to believe that I still really love you but…"
I smiled a little… but that was a smile of doubt… not of belief… still hearing him say he really did love me… I just wasn't so used to it anymore… plus I was always telling myself before that he didn't love me anymore so maybe I got used to that thing that I couldn't really have trust on his words right now…
Trust…
That was a thing that was brittle during that last moment of our relationship. Maybe if I had just… no… but still…
"Sasuke… can we… is okay if we tell them-"
"That was just what I was thinking… so if you're okay with that…"
I nodded.
He held my hand and helped me stand up.
I love my jellybeans! :) I love my jellybeans! :) I love my jellybeans! :)
"Mom…" I called for her. I need her to be beside me by this time…
"Coming honey…" she got out from the kitchen and sat beside me…
"Could you call everyone…" Sasuke asked from Ino and she nodded.
As soon as everyone was there and listening, Sasuke and I looked at each other.
I guess now I'd have to really have to recall that memory fully again… why we broke up… sigh.
Flashback: (Sakura's)
"Sasuke! Long time no see!" I saw a girl hug Sasuke from the airport. He said he would be with Neji and the others so why was he here? With a girl clinging to him? Maybe he thought he wouldn't get caught since he never asked where I would be going, I had to pick up dad from the airport today from his business trip and a happy welcoming feeling I had to give dad turned to a murky feeling of depression, anger and jealousy that seeped through me, but I had tried my best to smile as soon as I saw dad go out of the airport's automatic glass doors.
Sasuke looked around, probably protecting his view so as no one who knew him would see him like that and tell me… but poor him, I was the one who saw him…
I raised one brow and took my phone as soon I kissed daddy welcome back and put some of his bags in the car where mom was waiting.
"So what are we gonna do tomorrow? Oh you have got to show me to Mikoto and Fugaku! I'm sure they missed me!" the violet haired, obviously perfect and spoiled, girl squealed as he cling on to MY Sasuke's arms as HE carried HER bags with an effing SMILE! What the heck!
His phone rang.
"Sakura honey…" mom called out.
"Just a minute ma…"
"Hello" I heard Sasuke's voice through my phone.
"Hi… Sasuke… it's me… I miss you… where are you?"
"Oh hey, I'm here at Neji's… can't talk… we're busy with something… call you later, bye"
He freaking shut his phone down on me! And no I love you or I miss you too? Was he scared that his bitch would hear? Oh he's so gonna' get it later on… instead of shutting my phone, I put it on camera mode and snapshot! The perfect picture… now he can't lie…
"Sakura…"
"Yea dad I'm coming…"
I'm Mrs. Hearts and xoxo :) I'm Mrs. Hearts and xoxo :) I'm Mrs. Hearts and xoxo :)
"So where do you want to eat?"
"Not tonight Sakura… I have plans with my dad…"
"Oh really? Can I come… you know Fugaku loves me…" I joked around still not forgetting what I saw yesterday.
"Umm… I don't think you can… see he wants to talk to me personally over some dinner with his friends… I'm really sorry"
I sensed he was lying… so I had to find out being his girlfriend right?
"O… kay"
Spotted… that evening I saw him putting that violet haired bitch into his car! I loathed him right now…
I followed them to this fancy restaurant… oh… no way! He did not just take her to the first place where we had out first date! That – grrrr!
Now I really had to capture everything and confront him tomorrow! Who did this girl think she was! And who did Sasuke think HE was! He loved ME! Not her!
I'm Mrs. Hearts and xoxo :) I'm Mrs. Hearts and xoxo :) I'm Mrs. Hearts and xoxo :)
"Hey Sasuke… can I talk to you…" I called him out from his conversation with some guys from today's celebration party of his parents…
"Not now Sakura…"
I just saw that violet haired bitch walk into the garden! What the fuck was she doing here?!!?
"Now Sasuke!" I almost shouted and after having some eyes at us, he agreed and pulled me to his room.
"What is it?" he asked as soon as he closed the door.
"Who exactly is that violet haired bitch you've been hanging to closely around with?" I asked with my arms crossed in front of my chest and a brow raised.
"What?! I don't know what you're-"
"Shut the crap Sasuke… I know… so you were at Neji's being busy as I perfectly well saw you grabbing her bags from the airport and have a talk with your dad? Or having second affairs and bringing them to out place?"
"What has gotten into your mind Sakura?"
"Maybe this would do the talking…" I flipped my phone open showing him the pictures that I caught of him with his other girl.
"Oh…"
"Oh? Is that it?" I asked finally coming to senses that I was hurt of this… my tears flowed down… he just cheated on me…
"No it's not that… please give me time to explain…"
"Explain what Sasuke?"
"Please Sakura… just listen…"
After a while I nodded and wiped my tears away.
"I met her a long time ago… in another school… I got to know her and she became my best friend until I had to move here…"
"So why did you have to lie about her?"
"I didn't want you to think different if we became too close in front of you…"
End Of Flashback
"I'll skip the details of what happened here… but after this talk we were okay and I trusted him…" I told the others as I cut the memory off…
"I guess Sasuke will be the one to tell you this part…" I said looking at him. The pain of the memory hurting me again…
Flashback: (Sasuke's)
"So where do you want to go now?" Kati asked.
"I'm a little busy today…"
"Oh c'mon Sasuke don't be such a busy body! I haven't seen you for so long and this is how you treat me?" she giggled and jumped on my back as I was trying to finish a journal on my laptop.
"Kati please… I'm concentrating here…"
"Fine…"
For a moment she was quiet until I knew that she just looked at me…
"What?" I asked.
She sighed and smiled…
"Do you still remember that thing you told me when you went away?" she half smiled…
I didn't want to remember this…
"Yeah…"
"By then I couldn't get to reply to that with a good start… but now Sasuke… i-"
"Kati look… I haven't forgotten about it but…"
"But… look Sasuke… I have been here for a while now… I've been waiting for you to say those three words back to me again… but I guess I'll have to start it…"
"Kati… I've been waiting for you to return my calls and everything those years ago but you never did… and right now… I have Sakura and-"
"What?! But… you love ME… and I finally realized I love you too Sasuke…" she smiled pleadingly.
"I LOVED you… but… I'm sorry…" I stood up and was about to head outside until she as well stood up and held my wrist.
"Sasuke please…"
"Kati… understand… please… I don't want-"
She managed to turn me around and as soon as her lips hit mine…
"Sasuke I brought food!" Sakura walked through the door…
I'm Mrs. Hearts and xoxo :) I'm Mrs. Hearts and xoxo :) I'm Mrs. Hearts and xoxo :)
"I didn't kiss her!"
"And what do you call what happened a while ago huh?"
"Sakura SHE kissed me! I had nothing to do with it! I told her about you!"
"And what did you tell her about me huh? To kiss you right now cause Sakura might come in any minute?"
"No! You know how much I love you Sakura!"
"Oh really? Do you love me the same as you love that slut?"
"Don't call her that!"
"Oh so now you're defending her? And you expect me to believe what happened a while ago didn't happen?!"
"Do you really have that little faith in me Sakura?"
"From what you're showing… I NOW have lesser faith in you… you broke my trust in you!"
"Or maybe you don't trust me at all to believe me!"
"Yeah from now on maybe I don't!"
"Why are you so stubborn Sakura! What would it take for you to believe me!"
"Nothing…"
"So what?! You're just gonna leave this unfixed?"
"I didn't say anything like that… I know how to fix this… we end this…"
"What?! Sakura don't be like that…"
"No Sasuke… you lied to me…"
"You know what if you don't believe and don't have any trust in me then fine… maybe it is better for us to end this…"
End Of Flashback
-to be continued-
-read && review please :)-
Hey guys! I'm sooo sorry for the late update! Really I am! But here it is! Earlier than late! I know is said in my other story "She Thinks She Doesn't Want To" that I'll be updating this next week but I changed my mind because I know I've kept you waiting for so long that's why I really took all the hard time to update this now! :) I hope you like it! :D
Xoxo,
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