Expressions Smile II

No one has ever asked him why.

It's somewhat disappointing.

It was a well-known (and well-loved) fact at Rikkaidai Fuzoku Gakuen that Seichi Yukimura smiled, and smiled like an angel, at that.

The girls fawned and flocked over the hence forth-dubbed angel, sighing and gushing, generally trying to get a picture of that smile. It was girl thing.

…

Well, it was supposed to be.

Nowadays, both male and female students participated in said activity, school work and bicycle crashes be damned. They just couldn't get away from it. Yukimura's smile made everything seem (and feel) just a bit better, just a bit brighter, just a bit more refreshing.

A breath of fresh air, that's right.

Maybe a summer morning.

The rainbow and the rain, before or after.

It was one of those things that one didn't have to feel guilty about. That smile said everything, they thought. Such a pity he was sickly. A couple of nods and murmurs and then they'd be back to staring again.

Almost all of the students at Rikkaidai believed that Yukimura Seichi was an angel sent from above.

And angels would always smile.

He hated it- deep inside he knew he did.

He was not a thing sent from above to relieve all their pain!

He was not an angel with white wings and eternal smiles and white spells!

-as much as he wanted to, he was somewhat afraid that they were right. That they were telling the truth with their sighs, words and sounds escaping from bated breaths.

Maybe he was. Or maybe he smiled too much.

He didn't know which one to fear more. That fact, he should try and suppress. It was unbelievably persistent. Smiling should do the trick.

Sanada didn't know if he should be worried or downright scared. Yukimura was smiling too much. The fact that rivaled this was that when he first met him (during the 3rd grade, when they were both about half their heights right now and had big buggy eyes of- nevermind!) Yukimura already smiled too much.

But this was just insane.

He doesn't know when he started to notice things about his buchou, but he is, and he doesn't like what he is noticing.

Seichi's smile used to be more care free than this. Used to be more menacing. Used to be more gentle. Used to be brighter. Used to be more relaxed.

But this…

Desperation oozed out of that smile, and Sanada was sure he wasn't the only who noticed it. Yanagi did, and even Akaya, who'd dared question it- he got a smile and a playful head rub, and Yukimura asked him if he was getting enough sleep.

Which made Marui choke on his bubblegum and promptly garner everyone's attention.

Crisis averted.

Sanada knew his tactics too well. He hated it.

And now he was watching him 'sleep' on the smooth top of the chemistry lab tables, a hand on his forehead, breathing slow and even.

Sleep his favorite cap.

Sanada cleared his throat.

Yukimura smiled too much.

He also didn't know when to talk when he absolutely needed to.

Yukimura's smiles told stories that no one ever had the mind to read. They were always different, no matter what anyone said. Too bad no one ever said anything except the usual 'so pretty' and other air-headed comments.

Sometimes they were fairytales, woven with wishes of knights in shining armor or witches with evil apples- they were gold this time round, red wasn't meant to be stained like that.

Sometimes they were romances- ships sailing alone in the high seas, lovers caught between the fire of passion and the waves of rage, arranged marriages with sadness in every blinding bejeweled speck.

Sometimes they were so achingly sad that the mirrors in Alice's looking glass would break with the truth that he wasn't this happy all the time, so why did they keep trying to fit him in their wonderland?

Sometimes they were nothing at all. A façade so true that the lies that they wove out of it were like the thinnest paper- and his smile was the ink that ruined it all. Secretly, of course. No one ever liked being exposed like that.

Sometimes they were actual smiles- but the majority of these were spent on his team and Sanada. It was sometimes kind of saddening when they didn't notice, but Sanada would. It took him some time, but he did.

Yukimura felt like laughing.

But as he knew, he never smiled anymore. This was his smile of desperation, of confusion, of total blankness.it was easy to stick on at anytime when he felt the last one slipping.

Why did he smile anyway?

He felt a lump rise in his throat and he allowed a choked sigh, knowing that no one would venture into the chemistry lab during the Rikkaidai Tennis Club practice. The team should be distracting everyone else.

"…Yukimura…"

Baritone voices made him fall.

That wasn't even rhetorical. Linoleum tiles hurt, he thinks. Do they?

Sanada was thankful for his reflexes. Really, he was. But did linoleum tiles really have to be this hard?

He did not expect Yukimura to suddenly fall like that, but then the room was admittedly silent before he came in, and maybe he was just thinking and maybe he shouldn't have surprised him like that. Either way, Sanada caught him before he hit the floor, thus placing them in this twisted version of a cat taking a nap on his chest.

Seichi may look light but this was ridiculous. How much weight had he lost?!

"… Yukimura?" his voice reverberated through the room and Yukimura thinks that he should make him sing one day (Akaya had told him this amazing story about the training camp…)- or maybe he should order him to be his pillow on some days, preferably every.

Yes, that sounded good.

"Hmmm?" he didn't want to talk right now. But this was Sanada, so he could blame it on him. That would be fun.

"…are you alright?" always so careful, Yukimura wonders if he would be like this if he told him the truth.

That he was going insane form thinking way too much of smiles and their meanings and what his did to people, what they didn't do, and why had no one ever asked why he smiled? It was unfair, people asked that of each other, was he truly that ethereal?

That wasn't fair. If he was, then this was probably the last time he'd ever get a cat nap on Genichirou.

Totally unfair.

"Yes, No, I don't know. Genichirou, do you think I smile too much?"

It hurts to think that Sanada might be speechless this time.

No one ever asked Yukimura why he smiled, so he kept on doing it. He didn't have a reason, he didn't have a not-reason, so why should he stop?

Really, parenting skills should be taught in college. Who gives a flying fuck about the area of an imaginary triangle anyway?

It was unfair.

It was kinda sad, too.

Smiles tended to stick to people who used them too much.

They also tended to be a very good source of depression, as ironic as it was.

Maybe he should envy Fuji Syuusuke- Tezuka seemed like the type to question him about it at least once.

Just once.

It sucked that no one did.

"Yes. I think you do… why do you?"

Sanada thinks that he should shut up now. But Yukimura had stopped breathing in that brief moment when he asked, and he didn't know if that was a bad thing or not.

He cleared his throat, about to speak again, but Yukimura grabbed at his shirt and hissed something that sounded like 'don't' so he didn't.

They were lying on the floor of the chemistry lab, while there was practice (By the gods, he hoped that Yanagi could control Akaya- sophomores were very brittle), and Yukimura was hissing.

All in all, Sanada expected worse.

"…I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know… Genichirou…"

All in all, Yukimura expected better things to come out of his mouth, but this was acceptable. He didn't expect an answer though.

"You don't have to have a reason, I think… I read somewhere… smiles don't have to have reasons… and the smile that you smile when you don't have a reason to, that's the best smile you could have…"

Yes, Sanada should really shut up now.

Yukimura should do something about it.

In retrospect, kissing your fukubuchou may not be a good thing to do.

"Yukimura-"

Yukimura does not believe in retrospect.

His lips on his, a hand keeping him from escaping- how could entrapment feel so good?

He doesn't believe in that statement either. He has to have a reason.

As he pulled away from Sanada's flustered face (blushing really made him look adorable), Yukimura smiled.

And he may have just found it.

"Genichirou, you wouldn't mind if I took a little nap would you?"

The obvious answer, Sanada thought as the afternoon sun fell on Seichi's pale features, did not need to be said. He nodded and threaded a hand through the blue locks on his chest, content, for once, to simply listen to the quiet sounds Seichi made as he slept.

Sophomores could wait, the Buchou came first.

FIN

Freya: how shitty was that? (sigh)