Author's notes: I know this is sounding a lot like In the Wake, but I think I'm going to go in a slightly different direction with it, although I'm not sure exactly what that will be just yet. Anyway this chapter is in Martha's point of view. Probably going into Lionel next…shudders.
"Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes, come on and come to me now. Don't be ashamed to cry, let me see you through, because I've seen the dark side too. When the night falls on you, and you don't know what to do, nothing you confess could make me love you less. Ill stand by you," Chrissie Hynde.
I've known about Clark's relationship with Lex for a while now. Clark even told me that he couldn't let Lex go through with the wedding, and that he was going to stop it. So, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when I heard them whoosh into the kitchen, followed by the sound of two sets of footsteps downstairs, but what does surprised me is what I see when I come down to talk to them.
I was expecting to find Lex and Clark snuggled close, laughing, sipping champagne, and trying to keep quiet, as if I could have gotten a wink of sleep tonight anyway, but when I get to the kitchen they aren't doing any of the things they should be. The two of them are sitting at the table, unable to make eye-contact, neither one making a sound. Lex is hunched over in his chair, having brought his knees up to his chest, and squeezed his eyes shut tight. There are dark bruises on his arms, and a bright red set of teeth marks on his neck.
Even on red kryptonite, I know that Clark would never do that to him, and I also know that nothing would have stopped Clark from keeping that sort of thing from happening to Lex, or anyone, so anyone can understand why I panicked a little, after seeing them like that.
"What happened?" I ask, rushing over to Lex's side first. Who could have done this? I don't even know who to help first. Lex flinches when I try to put my hand on his shoulder. "Clark? Where have you been? What's wrong? If you tell me, I'll take care of this. Lex, are you okay? Do you need anything? Let me help you, both of you."
"No," Lex whispers faintly. "You can't." Clark stands up, knocking his chair over, and walks across to the room, placing his arms around Lex's body. "We weren't mugged. He would have been able to stop that."
"What are you talking about? Lex, are you sure you don't need anything, ice, or an aspirin, maybe? Something to drink? Eat?"
"I'm fi—no thanks." He looks away, his eyes staring directly into the table, as if he were trying to burn a hole through it. "My father, he—I don't think—I can't do this. Clark please help me. Just…I don't know."
"We ran off to Vegas and got married, Lionel tracked us down and he came up to our hotel room, and knocked on the door. We thought it was room service, so Lex just opened the door, and Lionel hit him, and he was yelling—he had a chunk of Kryptonite on him, and I tried to help, but I couldn't move, I tried to stop it, but…" Clark shakes his head, and Lex leans back into his arms, whimpering softly, but at the same time pulling Clark's hands around him more tightly.
I've had a difficult time believing that Lionel had changed completely, that he really is a good man now, but I never would have considered. I never thought he was capable of this. I'm not sure which of them needs more right now, or even what I can do for Lex, or for Clark.
Psychically he's already recovered from the exposure to the Kryptonite, but emotionally, he may never be the same. Witnessing something like that is traumatic, gut wrenching, horrible. Clark's probably feeling responsible, as if all of this was his fault, because he thinks he failed to protect Lex, and Lex…
After all he's been through tonight, and more than likely, in the past as well, must have been excruciating. That sort of betrayal done to a child by a parent is something I can not even imagine, not to mention the physical pain he must be in now. I want to help them but I don't know what they need.
All of those years I spent wishing for a child, dreaming of what it would be like to be a mother; I never imagined a situation like this one. Nobody thinks about this. Skinned knees, school bullies, acne, cute crushes, not so cute breakups, fights over the car, allowance, even Clarks abilities we were able to deal with, but this—nobody knows how to deal with this.
I wrap my arms around them, and the three of us stand there, holding each other, for what seems like an eternity. Then Lex looks up at me with those, big sad eyes, and he tries his hardest to cry. Then he whispers in a weak voice.
"Thank you." Lex takes in a long, deep breath, pressing his head against Clark's chest, and he reaches up to touch my hands, like a small child. "I didn't think he would hurt Clark like that, really. I never would have let that happen if I could do anything about it. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Lex, you have nothing to apologize for. This is not your fault, not in any way. Your fa—Lionel is the whole who hurt you, and Clark. And there is nothing you could have done which would have been bad enough to deserve that. I think it's very important you understand that, okay?"
"Yeah," he whispers once again. "I know. I've known ever since I was a—I've always known. Almost always. It doesn't really help though, but thanks. It means a lot, you guys letting me—I mean—uh, Clark said he thinks it might be possible for me to maybe stay here, and—live here…do you think that would be okay?" It takes him a long time to get the words out, and even when he does say it, he looks as though he's only moments away from trying to take it back. I gently place my hand over his wrist, patting it softly.
"That would be wonderful Lex. I know how much you mean to Clark, and that he cares just as much for you. I like you Lex, and I have always enjoyed having you around. I think it would be fantastic if you stay here." Then I sit down next to his chair, and slowly pull him into my arms. Lex presses his efface into my shoulder, the way Clark did when he was a little boy, and he begins to cry.
"I can make us something to eat, if you want to, I mean if you think you could keep it down, that is," Clark stammers, desperate to do anything that might help in any way.
"Sweetheart?" I ask, looking into Lex's eyes. "When was the last time you had a good nights sleep?" He just shakes his head and shrugs. "Do you think you'd be able to get some rest here? Okay, there we go. Clark give me a hand getting him upstairs, okay?" After about an hour, and many tears, he finally goes down, and Clark and I get a chance to sit down and talk.
"Mom, I'm sorry for just bringing him back here without asking, but I couldn't—we couldn't—stay in that room, and I wasn't about to let Lex go back to the mansion where God knows what Lionel would have done to him, given the opportunity."
"You did the right thing, but I think we still need to be careful. Lex is in a lot of pain right now, and I know how hard he is trying to be a good person, but that doesn't change who he is—who he was raised by. He loves you; I believe that with all my heart—."
"Mom," Clark cuts me off. "Lex is terrified. He was crying. Did you see the bruises on his hips, his neck, everywhere? He's covered in them, and the blood. There's no way that was an act. He's still shaking, and it's been like five hours!"
"I'm not trying to convince you that whatever happened to Lex wasn't real, or excruciating, but a traumatic experience doesn't cancel out the mistakes Lex has made in his life. I'm not saying he has to leave, but for the time being, at least, we just need to be careful. We need to keep an eye on him."
"I already told him about my—about me, so if you're worried that all he's doing is trying to dig up dirt or something…" now it's my turn to interrupt, I have too.
"I think that Lex really does want to be part of our family, more than anything, and if he works at it one day he can make up for all the bad things he's done, but just for a while I want you to watch out for him."
"Lex doesn't trust anyone, but he talks to me. He lets me in. He does trust me, and I'm not going to turn on him like that, because you're not a little concerned. Lex needs me. I'm the only one who can help him."
"Clark, you're the only one who can help a lot of people, but that doesn't mean you can—okay, you're right. I'm sorry. I was just a little worried about Lex, and I over-reacted." Clark nods, silently, still giving me an angry look.
"What do I do? How am I supposed to help him? I've gotta do whatever it takes to make sure Lionel doesn't hurt him anymore. I don't care hat it—what I have to do. I just have to make it up to Lex. I have to fix this.
"Clark, the best way you can help Lex is by staying here with him, by being around whenever he needs you. It won't help Lex at all if you go to prison for doing something to Lionel, even if that does keep him away."
"But it's not fair. He needs to pay for what he did. If I don't do anything then it's like he gets away with it. I won't let that happen. He has to suffer the way he's made Lex suffer all of these years. It's not fair otherwise." Clark stands up, pacing back and forth, angrily grinding his teeth, and taking in sharp, shallow breaths.
"He will Clark. He is going to pay for this, and he will get what's coming to him, but it isn't up to you to hand out his justice. If you hurt Lionel it just makes you as bad as he is, do you understand?"
"Yeah, but I just love him so much, and I can't stand to see him in this much pain. I'd do anything to make it stop. I gotta help him. I've just gotta. I'd do anything for him. Anything."
"Believe me Clark, I understand that feeling, and I know that the best thing you can do right now is to be here for Lex. Talk to him, listen, hold him, and do whatever else he needs. I know it seems like a lot, but that's part of being married. You and Lex are going to need to take care of each other from now on, and eventually everything else will work out, I promise."