I have much too much fun...

No characters in this story belong to me...except the flour children.

"What the hell has Xemnas been smoking?!" Larxene snarled as she threw another well-aimed dagger at the target board on her wall. Instead of a bulls eye a candid picture of Vexen brushing his teeth had been tacked to the board. It was covered with multiple holes and slashes from the Nymph throwing knives at it. Vexen's face was almost completely gone. She turned sharply and paced across her room, jumping onto her canopied bed with a frustrated growl. "He's making us parents for a week? What the FUCK?!"

Across the room, sunk into an abused beanbag chair, Marluxia drummed his fingers against his thigh. His blue eyes were dark with repressed rage. "That impudent little musician…"

"Like any of us really know to take care of a kid!" Larxene picked up her pillow, encased in a red silk pillowcase and clutches it to her chest, her fingers digging into the feather-filled pillow.

"There must be a way to get Xemnas to switch Vexen for Namine, there must be…"

"I fucking hate kids!"

"Marluxia…?" Both heads jerked toward the doorway of Larxene's spacious room to see Namine peeking inside meekly, the flour bag she'd been assigned clutched to her chest protectively.

The Graceful Assassin stared at her blankly, causing the artist to back away slightly into the hallway. "What is it, Namine?"

"I-I've been looking for you." She stammered, clearly terrified to be in the same room alone with the two people who regularly tortured her. "I thought we should come up with some kind of schedule so we can take care of Daisy-"

His gaze remained blank, which served to disturb Namine even further. "And why would we do that, Namine? It's nature's way for the mother to care for the children."

Namine frowned, drawing in a deep breath. "If that's true then why is Xaldin carrying around his and Larxene's flour bag?" Larxene cackled and got up from her bed, walking over to the younger girl with a wicked smile.

"Because," She took Namine's chin between her fingers and forcibly shook her head slightly. "Xaldin is so the mom. Now scram!" Her arm jerked suddenly, sending Namine sprawling into the hallway with a startled cry. The door slammed shut behind her. "Great, now I forgot what I was going." She looked at Marluxia with a scowl. "you wanna just pop in Titanic and laugh when Jack drowns?"

Marluxia smiled at her. "You always know how to brighten up an otherwise gloomy day, Larxene."

"We are not naming it Roxel!"

"Aw, why not? It's a good name!"

"Because it sounds stupid. I said you could name this thing, but that's going way to far."

"Pfft, fine. Be that way. What about-"

"We're not naming it Axel Jr. either."

"Damnit!"

"Why not come up with a normal name? Like, I dunno, Phil."

"Phil? You want to name out kid Phil?"

"What's wrong with Phil?"

"Nothing if you're a middle-aged, balding psychiatrist/talk show host. Hey, how about Blaze?"

"Blaze, huh? That's actually pretty cool."

"Great! I'll go get Namine's markers so we can customize him!"

"Wait…'customize him'?"

Reclining on the couch, with their flour bag newly dubbed 'Morgan' seated between them, Luxord and Xigbar toasted their new addition with the rum Luxord kept in the back of the refrigerator for special occasions. Very soon after they were raving drunk and horny. Morgan's drawn-on-in-blue-magic-marker eyes lost their innocence in record time.

"Saix, I am entrusting you in charge of our wards for the afternoon." Xemnas turned away from his right-hand-man and started out of the Living Room That Should Never Be. "When we all convene for supper I do expect all six of them to be there."

"Seven, sir."

"Pardon?"

Saix looked up at the Superior, his expression blank. "We have seven to take care of, Superior."

"Are you quite sure? I could have sworn it was six…well, no matter. I have a lot of work to do." He left, leaving the Luna Diviner alone with their seven "children" all lined up on the couch. Saix eyed the smallest bag, reaching across three others to pick it up. The kitchen had run low on the large flour bags, so Saix and Xemnas had been forced to settle for having a mini bag as a child.

Slowly, a toothy grin crossed his scarred face. "Xemnas did say we only had six…"

This is so absurd. Zexion scowled as he flipped another page of the fairy tale book he'd been reading. What in the worlds do they mean by 'the princess was as beautiful as the day was long'? What kind of day? Winter days are notoriously short and summer days are humid and uncomfortable.

"Have fun, Zexion?" Lexaeus's amused voice boomed from above him. The schemer turned around to give him a deadpan look.

"Of course. Being forced to read through improbable, foolish fairy tales is perfect entertainment for me when I should be working." He slammed the book shut and glared at the flour bag sitting under his reading lamp. "Do you have any ideas what we can call it?"

The gentle giant rested a hand on Zexion's shoulder, leaning forward to stare intently at the flour child. "I was thinking perhaps Alden."

The bibliophile turned around and arched an eyebrow at his friend. "Aldan?"

"Alden." Lexaeus corrected. "Al-den."

With a sigh, Zexion shrugged. "You're the mother, name it what you want."

"Him." Lexaeus corrected again. He quickly quieted when he received another deadpan look from his partner.

"Hey, Dad…" Vexen looked up from his paperwork to give Repliku a wary look.

"What is it, Repliku?"

The silver-haired clone shifted on his feet, his eyes clearly anxious as he spoke up. "Demyx says that the flour bag is my baby sister and that I'm a big brother now. Is that true?"

Vexen fought the urge to pound his head against a book.

Repliku continued. "The baby Demyx has is a flour bag in a diaper. But I thought only girls could have babies. Does this mean Demyx is really a girl? Does this mean you're not gay?" The scientist gave his experiment a shocked look, which Repliku didn't seem to notice. "And does this mean all babies start out as bags of flour?" He paused as a horrible thought struck him. "Am I going to have to share my room?!"

His eye twitching slightly, Vexen drew in a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. "Repliku…I believe its time we had a little talk…"