Squeak: My first Death Note fic! And fic in general, on here, anyway. Hope you enjoy! A little R&R would be nice, not enough LxNear to go around.

Disclaimer: Not mine. DuhLOL!1.

Near's eyes, glued shut with four hours of sleep, snapped open, the hairs on the back of his neck standing straight up, pale skin there tingling. The noise had been loud, brash, and shocking, sending painful twinges from the center of his small body out to his slender extremities. It was a moment before his limbs started to move, struggling with his pristine sheets, a dilapidated pillow thumping softly on the floor.

At first, he noticed nothing. The window was open, as Near liked. He enjoyed the cool, dark noises and the sharp chill of night air against his nose as he was struggling against his own thoughts to sleep. The stars winked at him playfully, as though they were making fun of his 3 AM terror, and his eyes followed the dull light they produced to the cold wood of his floor. Dice. Everywhere. Littering his room, spilled from a box that had been shut and stacked neatly atop his series of board-games. Near was 90 percent sure that said box could not have jumped up and opened itself, spilling it's voluminous contents all at once, which lead him to figure that someone had been in his room. He was also 90 percent positive that the perpetrator could not have possibly left the room in such a short time, from the point that the box was emptied and Near heard the noise. Generally, sound travels 344 meters per second, so, judging by the temperature and distance, it would only take about a sec -

Near swallowed. His thoughts were interrupted by something moving at the foot of his bed. It was a large, black mass, and it looked furry, slightly reminiscent of a porcupine. The creature rustled about only slightly, as if it were focused intently on the treacherous minefield of dice on the floor. Near grabbed a rather heavy book on the bedside table firmly in his small hand, a large, unbuttoned, white sleeve brushing the cover. He crawled over to the wriggling mass, and squinting his eyes tight shut with fear, (and a little excitement, but mostly fear), he hit the alleged porcupine with a warm thud.

"Unghh"
The small boy was taken aback. His bedtime monster had made a completely human sound. Prying open his eyes and dropping the book on the floor, his vision adjusted to the darkness to reveal "L", flat on his back, dice spilling from his long, awkward fingers as though he had been attempting to pick them up.

"Oh!" Near yelped, thinking desperately for something he could say or do, but there was nothing. He was certain that Mello had never hit his predecessor as hard as he could on the head with a book, and Near, still being young and naive despite his genius, jumped to the conclusion that L hated him and would never let him take his place. That was all the boy had ever wanted, to please the closest thing he had to family, and that one human being in all the world was scrambling to his bare, monkey-ish feet on the floor and rubbing his...well...oddly porcupine-shaped hair.

"L...L? I..Oh no. What-? Never mind." In the dark it looked like L was smiling, but Near was certain that it was just the way the shadows played across his thin, smooth face, and black, tired eyes that reminded Near so much of the night he had come to love so much, second only to L himself. How could L smile at him now? He probably had a lump the size of a tennis ball permeating on the top of his head like a giant tick. Defeated, Near flopped down on the edge of his bed and said nothing. All of the shock, the tiredness, and the emotional strain he had acquired lately was all for naught. L wouldn't want him now, and wouldn't ever love him. What a waste of effort that had been, struggling against Mello, hating him, envying him. He hadn't shown any of his inner turmoil, though, because L never showed any of it. The young, lanky prodigy always had a placid face, unless something truly stirred him. L would have seen that same calmness in Near, and would have wanted him, even chosen him for being an emotionless, strong, beautiful entity like himself. And now that was ruined all because Near had thought L was a giant, mutant, floating porcupine and flattened him with a book.

Through all of his miserable thoughts the little white-haired boy didn't even notice that he was crying, sniffling like a pathetic, depressed pile at the foot of his cold, dark bed, absorbed in his own suffocating world of pain. Through the silence, interrupted only by the boy's hiccoughs and sniffles, L had watched out of doleful eyes, carefully picking up the now-forgotten dice and placing them quietly in the box so as not to disturb little Near out of his reckless sadness. When he had picked them all up and put them away, he loped over to the trembling boy and plopped himself heavily on the corner of the bed. Near, feeling the disturbance, opened his wet, gray eyes and gazed up at L, before he pitifully shrunk away. On the older boy's face it looked as though he was at a loss for what to do, but in reality, as he stared cluelessly at the ceiling, L knew exactly how to comfort his white haired successor. He extended a skinny arm clad in white, and wrapped it gently around Near's frail shoulders. The boy responded with a sharp, labored gasp as L brought those thin fingers to his soft cheeks and wiped the salty droplets away with his thumb.

"Don't cry, Near. You're wasting your energy. And you could be using it to impress me, couldn't you?" L's voice was monotone and languid as always, barely loud enough to hear and too loud at the same time. Near felt foolish for thinking that he could ever had impressed L effortlessly, as Mello always seemed to.

"You try too hard," L added, pulling Near closer, until the boy could feel L's heart fluttering softly, a bit faster than any normal human heart would beat unless something had caused it to speed up...like closeness. Was L excited? Had he succeeded in making L happy? Completely lost, his bewilderment showing on his tear-streaked face, he finally ventured to ask a question.

"You're not mad?"
L scratched his chin, mild confusion registering on his face, and for a moment, the two boys matched. Near's stomach twinged.
"About what"
"The book, hitting you with the book"
L had dug feverishly into his pocket for a few moments before pulling out a sugar cube and licking it. Near watched his pink tongue rove tenderly over the grainy surface and was surprised to find himself thinking what that tongue would feel like against his lips. Blushing, knowing full well that the thought was one of many taboo things his mind had always begged for, Near shook his head and waited for an answer.
"No"
Near felt the tension in his shoulders relax, feeling the pleasantly heavy weight of L's arm around him and finally letting the current situation wash over him. L was on his bed. How or why he was there made no difference, but the one thing Near had always wanted and never thought he'd be able to achieve was falling asleep in L's arms, and as cliche and stupid as that sounded in his head, it was the truth. Maybe...Just maybe, he could make that happen.
"I thought you were a porcupine.." Near mumbled. L leaned closer as if he couldn't hear.
"I thought you were a porcupine," he repeated, and felt L shudder with a small giggle. Near, although completely embarrassed, felt pleasure and warmth pooling in his stomach. L's laughter sounded like bells.
"Why would a porcupine be in your room?" L said, the tinkling sound of a faint, dying humor still present in his remark, muffled by the melting sugar cube in his cheek.
"A porcupine has about just as much reason to be in my room as you do..." Near said snidely, but almost instantly wished he hadn't, and wanted to apologize as soon as he said it. Before he could, however, L's little giggle persisted and the raven-haired creature interrupted him before he could even begin.
"That's true"
"Why were you in my room"
"Because I wanted to be"
"Were you looking for something"
"You"
"Why"
L licked his teeth thoughtfully. Near couldn't keep his eyes off of L's mouth. Those pale lips, flickering tongue, square teeth. He swallowed nervously.

"I wanted to know why you're quiet, calculating, removed, and socially retarded"
Near smiled for the first time since L had intruded. He didn't take L's remark offensively, because Near's response was obvious, like an elephant in a room.
"Because I'm just like you"
"Hmm"

There was a long silence. L's big eyes were ogling curiously at Near, and Near's big eyes mirrored the critical venture just as deeply. L noted the way they were both sitting, crouched, feet pulled up with their hands on their knees, save for his own because that was still clutching Near's right shoulder. L recalled how Near was always tinkering around with something, building, stacking, playing, just as L always had something sweet in his hand, stuffing sugar cubes in his coffee, cramming cake in his mouth.

And hell, did he have the eyes.

L licked his teeth, the cube thoroughly dissolved, noting adeptly how Near was watching him, especially his mouth, as his tongue twitched out over the corners of his lips. Tears were still leaking slowly down his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. Hn. Cute.
Near felt his whole body tensing again. Something was pulling him towards L's pretty, thin mouth, and he had to do it, he needed to do it. A thousand intriguing musings were tickling his brain all at once, letting his unbearable love for L, who was actually cuddling with him, get in the way of all previous logic. If he didn't do it now he'd regret it for the rest of his life. He lunged forward, noting how L had anticipated it and didn't even flinch, and pressed his inexperienced mouth against L's, which seemed to know exactly what to do. Near thought idly about how L knew how to kiss, as he had never seen any girls bumming around the orphanage with him when he came to visit. Then he remembered that he, Near, was a boy, and L was also a boy, and L was kissing him, and he was kissing L, which meant that L probably didn't like girls and learned kissing another way, which was, coincidentally the same way Near was learning now. His face was hot and flushed, heart pounding in his chest so loud that he was certain L could hear it, and if not that, at least feel it. Near started to get nervous again, wondering if he should stop, if L wanted this or didn't want it at all. His answer came with L's hand on the back of his head, crushing their lips together, the tears from Near's face smearing and drying on L's cheeks. Near's mind went white, and the only thing he could focus on was the sugary taste in L's mouth, delicious and hot, and before Near had time to realize it, there was a rather prominent lump in his pajama pants. He pulled away, looking mortified and humiliated.

L looked at him and cocked his head to the side. "It's okay"

Those were the last two words spoken between them, and their pink lips pressed gently together again, skin growing hot and sticky. L pushed near back on the bed, and they tumbled there for a while, not caring who was on top of who when and not being able to remember five seconds later. L, finally gaining the upper hand, settled heavily on top of Near, the boy flushed and trembling, not with sadness now, but with ecstasy and happiness. They pressed their pelvises together, the grinding sensation sending firey, unbridled shocks pulsing like white-hot metal between his legs. Near couldn't take it, just couldn't, too much pleasure too soon, and he clung desperately to the back of L's neck and came, shuddering and even more embarrassed then before. L smiled, and Near could tell that it wasn't just shadows this time, and maybe it hadn't been shadows before either. Those dark, quiet eyes watched the tiny boy breathing heavily beneath him, sweaty and attempting to avoid his burning gaze. He planted a small kiss on his forehead, hopped off of the bed, and rummaged through Near's drawers for a clean pair of white pants. He held them in between his forefinger and thumb as though they would bite him, and helped Near dry off and change. Near started to get scared as L tucked him in, the flush of shame mingled with unbridled joy suddenly fading off of his cheeks to reveal a pale fear that L would leave him. He opened his mouth to say something, but L had anticipated his thoughts yet again, and crawled beneath the covers with him, pulling him close and enveloping him in a warm, tender, almost paternal safeness.

--

It was 10 AM and the noise shocked him. Sitting bolt upright in bed, he watched as the dice rolled to every corner of the room, the box splayed open on the floor. He picked up his head just in time to see a large eye staring at him through the small crack in his door before it clicked shut. Near, blinking lovingly at the mess L had left him, fell back into his pillow and grinned to himself.

I wonder if Mello is as lucky as I am?