Okay, this is a fic in a different direction from what I normally do with Artemis in such instances. I hope it's a refreshing change, because I haven't seen it's like on FFN before, and think it's unique. This was inspired by a terrible English project, which required lots of effort and such, and I don't think my hand will ever be the same, but okay, whatever, and I do not claim Artemis, Holly, or any other characters mentioned, unless they are OC's. This fic is predominantly AxH but there is nothing obvious like violent make-out scenes and such, if I disappoint you, forgive me.
"Captain Short. How wonderful to see you again," Artemis commented in his polite, cold voice, which somehow, while sounding dreadfully sarcastic, still gave her the impression he was happy to see her. Maybe she was going crazy. Or maybe she was just flattering herself. Who knew with Artemis?
"Mud Boy. I can't say I share the same sentiments," she replied in a dry tone. "I remember only too well the results of our last escapade."
They looked at each other, and simultaneously broke into honest grins. His stunning blue eyes flashed.
"Well Captain Short, how are you?" he asked.
"I happen to be perfectly fine, thank you." This reminded her of the old days; sarcastic bantering and arguments about pointless things. Ah! The good old days!
"Well. Can I inquire the occasion to the visit? Is it somebody's birthday? Wedding? Anniversary? Some special occasion I happen to have forgotten about?" he asked, fakely sincere. She knew perfectly well there was no chance in hell he would have forgotten something.
"Actually, yes, Foaly happens to be getting wed to his precious Calballine (sp?) within the week. That is why I'm here, to offer you joyous invitation, and grievous condolences."
"Oh? Why would that be?" Artemis asked, quietly.
"Because as we all know, once wed, no-one stays the same. At the very least we fear that in his passion for Calballine, Foaly will forget everything he knows." Holly raised a hand to her forehead dramatically. "Oh woe be me!"
"Oh grievous day for the LEP when Foaly no longer safe-guards their defenses... They will never be able to sleep well again." He smirked, obviously implying that he would be the one to breach Foaly's defenses.
"Alright. Enough you two love birds; no more fun at my expense. I can only stay quiet so long," a voice crackled through speakers on Holly's shoulder. Artemis raised a perfectly arched eyebrow upon hearing the words 'love birds'. Holly rolled her eyes.
"Listen up Mud boy, it's a once in a life time opportunity. It's rare to find Centaurs anywhere, even rarer to find two in the same place; let alone two getting hitched.
"Foaly, it would be my honour," Artemis said, honestly for once.
He could hear Foaly grin. "Alright Mud boy. Making up a science challenge for you to use as an excuse."
"No need, my parents are overseas. My brothers are infatuated with Minerva, and have begged to be sent over there with Juliet, who is visiting for the lack of sane female company, while Butler has gone for a relaxing trip to Madam Ko's University."
"It's almost like you knew something was up, and you got rid of everyone around you," Foaly commented.
Artemis looked vague and then grinned his infamous vampire-grin. "Oh. What a coincidence!"
And so Artemis Fowl the second visited the Haven amidst violent objections by the council and some members of the community, to visit one of his close-not-exactly-human friends' wedding, and enjoyed himself thoroughly, examining and teasing about Centaur culture.
"Oh this must be so awkward Foaly, dancing, I mean. You have two left feet!" Everyone rolled their eyes. Artemis was clearly enjoying himself.
Suddenly he paused. Foaly looked at him weirdly. Holly shot a concerned look at him. Artemis moved to a side, and Holly, worried, followed.
"Are you okay Artemis?"
"I don't know Holly. I feel…I feel so terribly stra—" but before he could finish, he crumpled, and landed on the floor. All he could see, was blinding white.
Well? How is it? I'm not too happy with the ending, but oh wells. Lets see if this intrigues anyone in the first place.
Review folks!
Love,
Lady Merlin