Title: Peripheral (Part Three: Cordelia)
Author: xlivvielockex
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Action-adventure, humor, bit of angst. It has it all.
Prompts Used: An "ex" visits, mystical circle, Eternal Flame by The Bangles
Summary: Set right after Spin The Bottle, Xander is sent to L.A. on Buffy's orders to get books on how to defeat The First. Once there, he notices that Cordelia is hardly herself.
Notes: I went a little nutty with the style here. The first part is seen through Xander's eyes. The second part through Angel's. The third part through Cordelia's. Total word count: 11,908. HUGE thanks to boynamedsusie who gave up time on Potter weekend to beta for me.
When Cordelia Chase awoke three days later, she didn't find herself in her apartment. She didn't find herself on some higher plane. And she sure didn't find herself in The Hyperion. She found herself in a hotel room with one hell of a headache, a stiff back, and a feeling like her insides had been ripped out through her nostrils.
It took her almost a full two minutes of blinking and looking dazed before she realized that she wasn't alone in the room. In the guest chair was a figure, hunched over, hands clasped together. She knew that he wasn't breathing because breathing, not exactly a necessity for him.
"Angel?" She reached up to touch her throat when she heard the sound of her own voice. That wasn't right. She sounded like she had been smoking for 50 years straight, washing it down with a glass full of bourbon and razor blades. She sputtered, coughed, and then tried to clear her throat. She was so busy coughing that she failed to see Angel's head snap up and him knock the chair over in an effort to stand and be near her.
He took her other hand, and she could see he was being careful of the IV that was running out of the top of it. She looked to her newfound "buddy". She squinted as she tried to see what drugs they were giving to her. She was hoping it was anti-hangover cure because that was what she felt like she had right now, one hell of a hangover.
"What...what is going on?" She felt groggy still. She wasn't sure if she was drugged or what was going on. All she knew was that she was uncomfortable and this hospital gown was really itchy.
"It's a long story, Cordy. But you are okay. I was worried you weren't going to wake up." She could hear the concern in Angel's voice and it drove her nuts that she couldn't remember why he was so concerned.
"I know I like to sleep in and everything but it is nothing to get this worried about." She saw a pitcher, half wondering if Angel just gotten it to have something to do. She pointed to it with the hand Angel wasn't clinging to. "Can I get some water at least?"
Angel nodded way too emphatically. Like one of those bobble head dolls or something. He damn near knocked over everything, all the flowers and get well cards that lined her room, in his effort to get at that pitcher. He poured her a glass, thrusting it into her hand.
"Easy there, Champ. Though if you break anything, this is probably the place to have it fixed." She took a sip of the water and winced as she felt it slide down her throat. It stung and burned at the same time. It was like someone had rubbed her throat raw with low numbered sandpaper.
"Sorry, it is just. You have been out for three days, Cordy. After everything that happened, I am just glad you are awake." He was looking a little too closely into her eyes. His intense stare caused her to pull back slightly.
"Personal bubble. Hey." She pushed him back gently before she took another sip of water. With each sip, it was getting easier and less hurty.
Angel looked confused but then again, he always looked confused. It was one of his four looks. Confused, dorky, angry, and broody. He really needed to take some acting classes, or at least, get himself to a good therapist to learn to express himself. "You don't remember what happened?"
She paused for a moment. "What do you mean? What happened?"
"You went to the higher realms and then you came back. You had no memory. Lorne did a spell and it awoke something that was hiding in you. It used your body to come down from the higher realms. Xander saw you, he knew it was not you. It did a weak cloaking spell on us but Wes was able to take it off. And we got it out of you, Cordy." He took her hand once more. "I killed it. It was this huge tentacle monster and I killed it."
Cordelia could detect that bit of pride in his voice when he talked about killing it and the way he sort of glossed over the fact it was Xander that knew something was wrong. "Where is Xander now?"
Angel's face fell and she felt horrible that for the moment, she was able to put that look on his face. So he had five looks, so what? "He had to go back to Sunnydale. Buffy is facing something big. I sent everyone else there to help out."
"So…you put me in the hospital and then you sent all my friends away so they couldn't visit?" She raised a brow at him, her look sharp and pointed.
"I just thought…I didn't know…" She watched him as he stumbled for the words. She had to hide her bit of a smile. Big, strong vampire and she could make him stumble like a schoolboy with a crush with a single word. He stopped when she squeezed his hand though.
"It's okay. Big bad evil. Need to save the world. It does no one any good to sit around with Coma Cordy if pretty soon, there won't be a world to live in." She smiled at him, her grin widening as it was matched by his.
"I should get your doctor." She watched him as he reluctantly pulled his hand free from hers. It was almost like he was worried that if he let go, he would never be able to touch her again. She watched him as he walked out the room. He kept stealing glances at her over his shoulder. Did he really think she was going to disappear?
With Angel gone, she looked down at her hands. She looked paler than usual. She also hated the color of these sheets and this hospital gown. She took a moment to check out all the goodies she got. A plant, nice and sensible, that was from Fred probably. A box of luxurious Belgian chocolates, those were from Lorne no doubt. Crossbow, she had to wonder what the nurses thought of that. That was from Gunn. Then there were the flowers, the mountains of flowers and the Get Well balloons. Her parents sent their usual "Cordelia is in the hospital" special. She had seen it before. She didn't need to see the card to know that.
She stopped through as she saw several bunches that looked different from the rest. She swung her legs off the bed, drawing in a sharp breath of air as she felt a jolt of pain. Whatever had taken over her body hadn't taken very good care of it. Her feet touched the floor and for the first time she noticed that someone, probably Angel, had put her slippers on her feet. She wheeled her IV buddy with her over to the grouping of flowers. She reached out to touch them. They were silk. Silk roses, orchids, gardenias, daisies, it was as if someone had cleaned out the entirety of the silk flower store.
"Do you like them? I just thought…they last longer."
Cordelia turned as she heard Angel's voice. She smiled at him. "They are beautiful, Angel. Something to always remind me of the time I was bodyjacked and hospitalized." She laughed softly but stopped quickly as an ache moved through her ribcage. She started to bend over but found herself being quickly supported and ushered back to her bed by one very helpful manpire.
"The doctor will be in to look at you. She said you might be able to come home as soon as tomorrow or the next day."
"Good. I hate these sheets. And can you please bring me some pajamas at the very least? This hospital gown is…breezy and so not my color." She crawled back into bed with his help.
He waited until she was settled before he nodded his head to her requests. She could see the question on his face though. It danced in his eyes and even he, after his years of hiding in the shadows, couldn't hide it from her. Then again, he usually couldn't hide anything from her. She knew him too well.
"Angel, what is it? I can see you are dying to ask me something. I am surprised you aren't jumping around like you have to pee or something."
"It can wait. At least until you are out of the hospital." She knew that tone. It was the Cordelia-Don't-Press-It-But-I-Know-You-Are-Going-To-Press It tone.
She would have too if the doctor hadn't come bustling in with an army of nurses to begin poking and prodding the hell out of her. She didn't even notice as Angel disappeared from the room.
It was two more days in the hospital before Cordelia was released. The doctors wanted to make sure that her three day coma was just a nice restful sleep and wasn't a brain damage inducing fun trip. Once cleared, she was out of there faster than a Chanel suit on Clearance at Barney's.
Angel had been his typical silent brooding self all the way back to the hotel. During his visits to the hospital, she had discovered several things. She found out that she was in the higher realms for months and that Angel was missing as well, being sunk in a steel box in the ocean by his son. She now knew that her apartment was gone but she was confident that she could persuade Dennis to scare out the new tenants. She knew that she could see her friends from the higher realms but when she tried to pull the memories of that time out, she got a splitting headache. They were like the kind that she used to get pre-demonizing visions. She also knew that Angel didn't want to talk about anything that had happened from the time she returned to the moment she woke up in the hospital. She'd get him to talk, it would just take time.
She smiled as she walked into the hotel. It might not exactly be home, but it was a home away from home. She just stood in the lobby, drinking it in. She looked at the floor. A grayish hint of something still lingered on the floor, like the ghost of a memory. She could almost remember, but then her head started to pound. Angel moved past her, going to the answering machine.
"I want to make sure they are okay. Connor went with them." He pressed the button but when he noticed her hand was at her temple, he came back. He put a hand at her lower back, his other arm around her, helping her sit down as the machine played.
"Yo, Angel." Gunn's voice filled the lobby. It was slightly tinny thanks to the ancient piece of equipment that Cordelia was amazed Angel could operate. He probably only knew how since it was older than she was! "Things are tight here. Some crazy priest on the loose but think we got him figured out. You better get here soon though cause Connor is making eyes at all the young girls. Think he might be sweet on Buffy's sister. Me and Wes are heading out to the prison, see if we can't break Faith out. Could use another girl on this. Fred is going to call you at the hospital but hopefully, Barbie is all woken up. Later."
Angel reached over to stop the machine despite the fact there were still two messages. She looked at him. "Why don't you go ahead and call them? I think I am going to go upstairs and take a nice, long, hot bubble bath. You said my stuff was where?"
"Here, I will show you." Once more that hand was on her lower back. Now that she wasn't in so much pain, she could appreciate it. She wondered if he wanted to ask her about Point Dume. If he sat up nights, thinking about what she would have said, what would have happened, if they met up that night. She hadn't been the most clear with the signals there.
He showed her to her room or more accurately, the room that held all her boxes now. She looked at him for a moment. She could still see that question hanging in his eyes. She would MAKE him tell her. Right after some candlelight, some music, and a long soak.
"Thanks, Angel." She paused as she looked at him. "For everything." She slipped into the room, closing the door just a little bit. She heard him head back downstairs, no doubt to call the gang to check in. It sounded like it was serious if they were going to break Faith out.
An hour later and Cordelia felt like a new woman. A good soak in the tub, a little bit of the mix radio station, and all the stress from the body hijacking and hospital funk were cleaned right away. She came out of the bathroom wrapped in her fluffy robe, a towel around her head, and was startled to see Angel standing there. He had a six pack of soda in one hand, a pizza resting on his palm.
"I thought you might be hungry. Sick of all that hospital food."
"Oh, you are seriously my hero right now, Angel." She took the pizza box from him and sat down on the floor, her back to the bed, the box in front of her. She opened it up, inhaling the delicious pizza smell. She saw him smile before he moved to sit down across from her.
"I got your favorite. I remembered what you liked this time." He was still smiling. Still with that slightly shy schoolboy look to his features. He might have been a bloodthirsty killer and a lout, but she knew there was still that bit of a dork in him. And she could bring it out.
She grabbed a slice, devouring it. She had never been so hungry in her whole life. Whatever had taken over her body, it sure didn't like to eat, that was for sure. Plus, the liquid coma diet really hadn't been satisfying. She made sure she chewed, swallowed, and grabbed a soda before she finally decided to speak.
"So how is everyone doing?" She raised a brow, looking at him as she took another huge bite from the pizza. It was hot, gooey, and all together delicious.
"As best as can be expected. There isn't a lot of information about what they are going up against. Some pretty powerful kind of vampire and then these Bringers." He paused for a moment. It was hard to tell if he was thinking or watching her make short work of that slice. "Wes said that Spike is working with them. Has a soul."
"Soul?" Her brow shot up. Her mouth was full with pizza. She swallowed the large bite quickly. "How did he get a soul? Gypsy curse?"
Angel shook his head. "No, not a curse. Africa. At least according to Wesley. And…Buffy is dating him."
She lowered the pizza. She wasn't sure if that was acceptance or pain that was written on his features. She was shooting for pain. "Wow…sorry. Spike. That is just…well, she likes the dead guys apparently."
He looked at her. One of those deep looks where she felt as though he was looking right through her. "If he makes her happy…if she can trust him…I guess a lot has been going on in Sunnydale since I left. A lot…has happened here."
"Mmmm, tell me about it. Demon genocide, killer visions, you going all jerk for a while, portals to other dimensions, that shoe sale on Rodeo. Oh my god, I still can't believe the evil of some of those women. I thought I was going to get stabbed with a Jimmy Choo!" She reached for another slice of pizza.
"It is more than just all of that, Cordelia."
"If you are feeling all butthurt because Spike has a soul and Buffy, don't sweat it. You were the original. He is a total copycat. I mean, look at him. Hello, Billy Idol wannabe." She took another bite of pizza, chewed and swallowed.
"Actually…" Angel stopped. "Nevermind. There is just so much else going on."
"I know. That was the condensed version. I have a feeling we are going to have to be giving that version a lot if the gang there hasn't already. Then again, most of those people in Sunnydale, pretty self-involved." She didn't think this was ironic, coming from her. She had paid her price. The big karmic wheel spun and it crashed right down on her for being so mean. But that was another life.
"That isn't what I mean. What I mean is…"
"What? You know, you are sure good at making with the vague here. Just spit it out. You, me, best friends. Can tell each other anything. Okay, well, not everything. But you know." She popped open another soda when she caught that question in his eyes once more. The question that had been sitting there since she woke up.
"I've moved on from Buffy. I love her, always will. But that was then and this…this is now."
Cordelia lowered the soda midway on its route to her mouth. She had a feeling she knew what Angel was going to say but she didn't want to open her mouth and ruin it. This was the kind of a moment every girl dreams about. When the salty goodness vampire of her fantasies finally grows a pair and says those three little words.
"You've decided to become a monk then?" She had to open it and ruin it. His expression changed in an instant. For someone who was well versed in being footloose and fancy free in his former life, he sure had the chastising look down. Probably because he got it so often.
"That isn't what I am trying to say." The chastising look turned into a bit of a frown. He was going to start brooding all over her pizza and soda if she didn't bring the situation under control.
"Dance with me." She put her soda down and stood up. She wiped her hands off on her bathrobe, moving to an open area of the room.
"What? Cordelia, you know I don't dance." He was getting to his feet though, despite his protests.
"Yeah, yeah. I heard that broken record line before. I saw you dance at Prom so come on. I love this song." She gestured for him to come closer. She could barely hear the music as it floated out of the bathroom but it was enough.
She knew that he probably heard her heart skip a beat as he pulled her into his arms. And that he no doubt heard it speeding up as he held her even closer. She wrapped her arms around him, waiting for him to start leading. She was quiet, letting him speak first. You knew that with the dorky white knight types, they were the ones that had to go charging in, making the first move.
"What song is this? Its nice…well, not my usual kind of music but still…nice." That wasn't the line she was hoping for but it was a start.
"Something old. From the 80s I think. Um…Eternal Flame. It's a good song. Catchy and all ballady. Definitely a school dance staple." She moved gently with him as he finally started to dance. She turned her cheek, resting it against his chest. She had forgotten how nice he always smelled. It had been so long since she was this close to him. It was comforting, in its own way.
He was quiet for what seemed like an eternity but really, it was only the first verse. He finally cleared his throat. It was obvious that he was working up the courage to actually say it. "That…thing. When it took over your body…it said something to me."
"If it said that you should stick to the all black route, then you should have known it wasn't me right away. I keep telling you, little color never hurt anyone." She was nervous. She was scared that like so many other times before, something was going to ruin this moment between them.
"Cordelia, that isn't…and I look good in all black. When you don't have a reflection, it is really hard to color coordinate." She could feel him tensing up. He could carry a frown or disapproving look through his whole body.
"Okay, okay. You are a classic. So what did it say?"
There was that pause again. It hung heavy in the air between them. "I asked it if we were in love and it said we were."
Now it was her turn to pause. She wasn't sure if she should let that wall down, let Angel come crashing through, and lay her soul bare for him. She counted off the seconds between what he said and when she spoke. It was an entire chorus of the song. "It was wrong."
He stiffened. He was bracing himself for rejection. She knew that much. He stopped the dance, pushing her away so that he could look down at her. She looked back up at him.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean it was wrong. We weren't in love, as in the past tense. We ARE in love. Aren't we? I love you. And not in the friendly co-worker sort of way. In the we have a hotel with lots of rooms, let's make good use of them way."
She could have lit the entire city of Los Angeles using the wattage from the smile he gave her just then. She was really worried that this was going to be his moment of perfect happiness. She didn't want to have to stake him after a romantic night of pizza, soda, and The Bangles.
He crushed her against his body, wrapping his arms around her. "I love you too, Cordy. I have, for a long time, but everything…"
"I know. The universe just really hated us there for a while." She chuckled but she was interrupted as he bent down and pressed his lips against hers. Her heart thudded in chest, threatening to burst out, run around the room, and possibly get her other organs together for a basket toss and a pyramid in celebration.
She closed her eyes. Her body collapsed against his and for the moment, she lost all sense of time. Her heart was pounding so loud in her ears, the blood rushing to parts entirely below her waist, that she almost forgot that she had to breath. She was holding her breath. She was praying that this moment would never end. He slowly pulled away from her, looking down at her.
"You are amazing." That was all he said, all he needed to say, before his lips were once more pressed to hers. She moved her body closer to his, wanting to have its every inch touching him, even with the barrier of clothes.
Then her brain clicked on. It was a siren, screaming at her at full volume. She had to be careful. Angel got too happy and she was going to be in a world of trouble. She pulled away from him, albeit reluctantly.
"I am really enjoying myself. Really. But we have to be careful."
He slowly pulled further away from her. He nodded his head. At least he understood.
She touched her lips lightly. She could still feel the ghost of him there. It still tingled against her lips and caused her to smile. "But damn, you are a great kisser."
He grinned. Once more with that boyish grin and just a hit of embarrassment in his eyes. "You too."
"I think maybe I need to finish my pizza and then we need to get to bed. We have a lot of packing to do tomorrow and some driving." All she could think about was kissing him though. It was taking over her brain. Well, maybe a little before bed make out session wouldn't hurt anyone. She was the queen of self-control. She didn't give into Xander, she could restrain herself with Angel. Especially when it was more than her reputation on the line, it was her very life.
"Packing? Driving?" He looked confused. Typical male, it didn't take much to confuse them. When they were set in park, it was hard to throw them into reverse.
"Yeah, we need to head up to Sunnydale. First, help the Scoobies defeat this evil. I am sure The Powers will send me a vision of what to do. Second, get Spike to spill about his soul thing. Third, hop a plane to Africa, get you souled up, and then make love until we are too exhausted to remember our own names. So, come on. We've got work to do."