Ahhh, i'm sooo loving writing this story 'cause it's short (about 7-10 short chapters when it's done) and cute- at least to me it is.

Warnings: There are like one or two or more f bombs dropped throughout the story so if ya are offended by language then this isn't the story for you.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or its characters or anything about it, unfortunately. Don't sue, please.

Eleventh division was known as the battle squad. They were known for being comprised of fight loving men: big, stinky, sweaty, hairy, beastly men. They weren't known for showing emotions, and certainly not known for their sympathetic ways. So any person who knew about the squad only through stories would have been quite shocked to see that in the division's fukutaicho's quarters a small framed pink haired female teenager was sobbing into a pretty, pampered,- almost dainty- man's lap.

"Shh," Ayasegawa Yumichika cooed petting his fukutaicho's long bright pink locks.

"No one Yumi, not a single, it's in two days and…not even…" she gasped as another wave of tears and emotion hit her.

This was not good. Tears and too much mascara drenched his lavender Hakama. He knew the stains wouldn't wash away and if he was asked and told Ikkaku where said stains were from his bastard boyfriend would tell Kenpachi that their fukutaicho was wearing make-up again, and then the taicho would kick his ass for not informing him sooner. Thankfully, Ikkaku was not one to notice what Yumichika was wearing and certainly never paid mind to the details of the items. "Yachiru-chan," he attempted to comfort the girl.

"Why? Why am I not good enough?! Am I that ugly, Yumi? Tell me the truth!"

"Yachiru-fukutaicho! Don't you ever say that! You're so beautiful- almost as beautiful as me. You want to know why no one has asked you to the dance? It's because they're all cowards! Think about it, sweetheart. First of all you are extremely beautiful and so much beauty can often scare an insecure man, and second, well, even a secure and brave man, assuming he has any intelligence, can't help but be the slightest bit of terrified of Kenpachi-Taicho."

"Ken-chan, what does he have to do with anything?!"

"Well he's you're Ken-chan, and he is a bit...protective of you…"

"Overprotective, you mean! What does he think anyone could do to me? I'm the fucking eleventh squad fukutaicho!"

And now she was angry. Yumichika sighed, how did he get stuck in the mother hen - mother hen, what an ugly thought, he would not refer to himself as such ever again!- how did he get stuck in the big sister role? Because, he answered himself, Ikkaku played overprotective big brother and Kenpachi was no doubt cast as the extremely overprotective father. Of course to the outsider Kenpachi was probably seen as a "cool-dad" laughing and cheering on his "daughter" as she battled high ranking arrancar and other foe, and Yumichika who often fretted (internally) about his fukutaicho's opponents was seen as the overprotective one. The outsiders didn't see Kenpachi's list of rules when it came to boys and other similar matters. The 'no make-up' rule was one of the biggest reasons for many of the arguments- and by arguments Yumichika means the near brawls that send even some of the oldest members of the eleventh onto their knees and into tears of terror ('What?! You think if I wear a bit of blush our subordinates are gunna try and bone me?! I'll chop um to bits and feed um to Baldy!')- in the division's headquarters. He closed his eyes for a moment and looked down at the girl who was giving him the most terrifying just-try-and-piss-me-off look. "Yachiru, it's not because he's overprotective that others keep away it's just that they are afraid that taicho would think that it was a direct challenge if they even attempted to…"

"I don't see why it matters what Zaraki thinks." Oh dear, she called him Zaraki, not good. "He's not even my father!" She was sitting up with that determined-half-crazed look that she no doubt learned from said not-father upon her face, "And I ain't askin' anyone to screw me or marry me or anything," she sniffed "I just wanna go to the dance!" and she was crying again.

Yumichika resumed stroking her hair and decided he'd help her find a date to the dance even if it killed him, or Zaraki did.

A:N: In the next chapter Yumichika stops at Rangiku's office for some make up- for Yachiru of course.