Lance Loves Kitty

"Oh La-a-nce!"

Lance gave Pietro an annoyed look as he waved his hand in front of his face. "Earth to Lance, come in Lance!"

"What is it Pietro, I'm busy!"

"I can see that!" Pietro grabbed Lance's notebook from him.

"Hey give that back!"

"Oh but it's such interesting reading! I can't put it down!" Pietro laughed as he zipped to the other side of Lance's room. "Ooooooohhhh!"

"Give it back!"

"Uh uh Lance, you must learn to share!"

"PIETRO!" Lance warned as he chased Pietro around the room.

"You wrote a love poem?" Pietro laughed. "Oh this is priceless!"

"Do you know what pain is Pietro?"

"Oh this is just precious! You know something Lance you're really good at this. I think a talent like yours should be shared," Pietro gave an insane grin.

"Don't even think about it!" Lance growled.

"HEY GUYS! GUESS WHO WROTE A LOVE POEM?" Pietro zipped out of the room yelling at the top of his lungs.

"I'm gonna kill you!" Lance yelled as he raced after him.

"This I gotta hear!" Fred laughed.

" 'Oh Kitty my love, my love so fair, my heart skips a beat when I see sunlight in your hair'" Pietro cooed as he read. Lance felt like dropping the entire house on them as the Brotherhood laughed.

Todd mimicked Kitty's voice. "Oh like, read on Lance my love."

"Certainly darling," Pietro mocked. He got on bended knee in front of Todd who was pretending to swoon. " 'You have class and grace and wonderful style, my heart skips a beat when I see you smile!'"

"Oh stop!" Fred laughed. "I need to breathe! Ha!" He fell to the floor.

"That's it!" Lance screamed and began to shake the house! "Give it back right now or else I'm gonna bring down the ceiling on all of you!"

"Hey man watch it!" Fred shouted as pieces of the ceiling began to fall.

"Lance knock it off! Here!" Pietro threw the notebook at Lance. "Okay! Okay! Calm down!"

"Poets are so temperamental!" Todd snickered.

"Look just back off!" Lance shouted. "And that goes for Kitty too!"

"Okay, Lance I think you musta got hit in the head or somethin'" Todd said. "You're all confused man. You don't know who you are. You're the sensible one of the group, remember? It's Pietro that's the nut."

"Hey!" Pietro slapped him on the back. "I hate to admit it though, Todd has a point Lance. You've gone totally bonkers. I mean, don't get us wrong, It's very entertaining for us, but I think it's time you cooled it a little."

"Yeah, just back off okay?" said Todd.

"Look who's talking Toad," Lance snapped. "You still have a crush of Rogue!"

"Oh please, I got over her months ago," Todd shook his head. "I only flirt with her now and again to annoy her. It's so much fun."

"Well, Fred…" Lance began.

"Don't go there," Fred put up his hand. "I can't believe I liked that little flirt! I mean did you see how she was ping-ponging between Duncan and Summers the other day?"

"Oh please, who didn't!" Pietro said. "But let's save that for another day. We gotta talk about Lance's problem."

"I don't have a problem," Lance defended.

"Whatever you say King Tut," Todd said.

"King Tut?"

"Yeah, King Tut. Lord of DE-NILE!" He snickered. He dodged Lance's swipe. "Face it Lance, you're not her type. Unless you grow some blue fur and a tail!"

"For the last time! She does not like that blue weirdo! She likes me!" Lance pouted.

"Okay Lance, whatever you say," Todd rolled his eyes.

"I just gotta think of a way to show her how much I care," Lance reasoned. "Something that will really impress her. That's all it takes."

"Okay, it's official. Our leader has gone insane," Pietro said. "That's it! I say we get a new one!"

"Well, if insanity disqualifies Lance then you are definitely out of the running Pietro!" Todd chuckled. "That just leaves me and Freddy here!"

"That is frightening," Pietro said.

"I've got it!" Lance pounded his fist into his palm. "Oh yeah. It's so simple! Why didn't I see it before! Ha Ha! Okay listen up, tonight we are gonna make a little trip to the X-mansion. Oh yes…after tonight. Kitty will be mine…"

Later that night Lance hid with Pietro in the bushes outside the mansion. "You sure you can disable the security systems so I can get close enough?"

"No problem. You sure you wanna do this Lance?"

"Absolutely. You wait back here in case there's trouble."

"Okay," Pietro nodded and slipped inside using his speed. He came back with his usual speed. "All set! Go!"

Lance nodded and ran until he was underneath Kitty's window. The light was on. "Good, she's still awake," Lance said to himself. "How do I get her out here? Can't use my powers, that would make her think I'm attacking the place! Got it!" He picked up a pebble and threw it at her window. "Sometimes the old ways are the best ways. This ought to get her attention."

Lance threw a couple more pebbles. Nothing happened. " Hmmm," He thought, noticing a football. "Maybe something a little bigger."

As Lance threw the football the widow opened. It hit Rogue in the face. "OW! Watch it!"

"Uh, sorry Rogue!" Lance shouted. "Is Kitty there?"

"You idiot! You could have broken something! Namely my nose!" Rogue angrily tossed the football back. Lance jumped aside barely missing it. "What do you think you're doing out here you yahoo?"

"Like, what is it?" Kitty asked from inside.

"It's Lance the Loser that's what it is!" Rogue snapped.

Kitty came to the window. Jubilee followed her. " Is that the guy you were telling me about Kitty?"

"Yeah! Lance you creep! What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk, that's all."

"Go away you dirtbag before I sick Wolverine on you!" Rogue shouted. "Can't you see she doesn't wanna talk to you?"

"Come on Kitty, please listen to me!"

"Like, go home Lance! It's the middle of the night!"

"Kit-tyyyyyy!" Lance whined. "Pleeeeeeese?"

"Go away!"

"Come on! Just give me another chance? Pleeeeese?"

"SCOTT!" Rogue shouted.

"Okay, Kitty," Lance shouted. "I didn't wanna have to do this! But you leave me no choice!" He took a deep breath with a look of grim determination. Then he did it.

"All you need is love! All you need is love! All you need is lo-oo-ve! Love is all you need!"

"He's not doing what I think he's doing is he?" Rogue's jaw dropped along with Kitty's.

"I was made for loving you Kitty, you were made for loving me!" Lance sang at the top of his voice. "Just one night! Just one night!"

"Oh no way!" Jubilee gasped.

"Oh my god," Kitty turned bright red.

"In the name of love! One night in the name of love! Don't leave me this way! I can't survive without your sweet love! Don't leave me this way!"

"This is not happening," Kitty cried, hiding her face in embarrassment. "This is like totally embarrassing!"

"You think people would have had enough of silly love songs! I look around me and I see it isn't so! Well what's wrong with that? I'd like to know?"

"I don't believe it!" Todd gasped from his hiding place. "I'm seeing it, but I don't believe it. You getting this Quickie?"

"Uh huh," Pietro nodded while filming the entire spectacle with his video camera.

"Cause here I go again! Love lifts us up where we belong! Where eagle's fly! On a mountain high! Love lifts us up like we are fools! Throw our lives away for one happy day!"

"Okay," Pietro shook his head. "This is no longer funny any more. Now it's just plain sad."

"Forget sad, he's lost his mind," Todd sighed. "Over Kitty. That is scary."

"Guys," Fred said. "If I ever mope about like that after Jean, I give you all complete permission to kill me."

"ALVERS!" Scott raced up to him on the lawn. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

"Come what may! Come what may! I will love you until my dying day!" Lance kept singing, ignoring him.

"Will you get out of here?" Scott grabbed him. Lance tried to push him away and kept singing to Kitty. By now the entire mansion was watching.

"Oh for the love of Mike," Wolverine groaned as he watched Lance and Scott on the lawn. "Teenagers!"

"I knew Lance was disturbed," Xavier shook his head. "But I had no idea how disturbed!"

"Man these guys are nuts!" said Bobby.

"I think it's sweet," Boom Boom said. "In a deranged sort of way."

"Hey Jubilee! Can I borrow your powers a sec?" Rogue asked.

"Come what may! I will love…Hey!" Lance shouted as Scott tackled him from behind. "I'm trying to sing here!"

"Go sing somewhere else!" Scott shouted in his face. Lance shoved him away. He faced Scott, his back to Kitty's room.

"Back off man or I'm gonna…YEEEEOOOWWWW!" Lance screamed as Rogue used Jubilee's power, sending energy sparks right on his butt.

From their hiding place the Brotherhood were laughing their heads off watching Lance run around screaming.

"ROUGE WHAT'S THE IDEA OF SETTING MY BUTT ON FIRE? YEOOOWCH! OW! OW! Hey, cut it out!" Lance screamed dodging Scott's optic blasts as well.

"Hey I wanna try!" Boom Boom said, sending out her own patented energy bombs.

"Yeowch! Hey! Watch it! Knock it off!" Lance screamed dancing around. "My foot!" He hopped around on one foot, dodging a barrage of various X-Men attacks. "GUYS WHERE ARE YOU? I COULD USE A LITTLE HELP HERE! YEOOOW!"

"Hey, think we should help him?" Todd asked holding his sides.

"Eventually," Pietro wiped a tear of laughter from his eyes. "I think he needs to learn his lesson first, don't you?"

"Aw man, we gotta make copies of this," Fred laughed as he took over filming.