D.Gray Man fic…crack fic. Plot bunny that hit me.

Don't own it.

Jailbait

"Allen Walker…Allen Walker…didn't I kill you?"

Allen shrugged. No one could really explain to him the miracle of his resurrection (Once Koumi started in with "Once a Mommy-Innocence and a Daddy-Innocence meet…" Allen decided that he didn't need to know.) and there was no point in even telling Tykki Mikk about the issue-what light could he shed on it?

"Possibly."

"But you were killed?"

"Yes."

"Huh. It's funny how every once in a while someone comes back to life." Tykki smiled. "I hate it when that happens." Flexing his fingers…through his fingers, he looked Allen straight in the eye. "Well, want to go at it again?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No, Cheater boy. I'm afraid you don't."

Tykki took a step towards Allen, all the while looking sinister and…evil…?

"Allen Walker…I swear…I will take you innocence…"

A pause.

And then:

"What did you just say?"

"Which bit?"

"The bit about innocence."

"I will take your innocence?"

"Yeah…that bit…You sicko!"

"What? Why?"

"I'm 15!"

"You're age doesn't matter, I'm still going to kill you!"

"It's not that I have a problem with, but raping me? I, mean, God, you must be in your 20's at least!"

"Woah! Hold on! That's not what I'm saying! I mean, your arm-"

"Arm sex? Dude, that's just wrong." Allen peered up at his enemy, his right eye squinting and his left eye whirling around in its socket. "You don't have sex with dogs do you?"

"Wah? No! Look, kid, I don't want to rape you!"

"What? But you just said-"

"Your arm! I meant your arm!"

"Oh." Allen shuffled on his feet. He blushed. "Well. This is awkward. Yep. Woo. Awkward turtle anyone? Sorry about that…it's just the way you said it…defiantly implied…never mind."

"I see."

"Big mistake is all."

"I completely agree."

"Best if we say this never happened.

"You are right, of course."

"Good."

"Okay."

Then Allen felt someone's lips against his and he was pretty sure those lips belonged to Tykki Mikk's as he was the only one in a ten-mile radius, unless it was an invisible akuma. At that moment he didn't know whose lips were worse. For a few minutes there was only the sucking noise of two pairs of lips making contact and then:

"You sick bastard! I'm jailbait!"

The End.

Review please.