Memoirs: In Public, Private and Secret: Shadow

A/N: This is a stream of consciousness bit of writing from Nara Shikamaru's point of view. It takes place when he is 23.

Public:

They say everyone has three hearts; a public heart, a private heart and a secret one. The secret one is all about just you, your thoughts, hopes and dreams that you keep to yourself and those you trust most intimately. Your private one is just that, private and shared with only a handful of close people. And then there is your public one, the one that everyone sees. And let me tell you that there is a huge difference between them all.

Take myself for example, one Nara Shikamaru. I have renowned reputation for being a genius and quite possibly the laziest ninja that Kohona or even the world has ever produced. Most people fixate on the last fact and forget the other one, the more important one.

Has anyone ever considered that I could be putting on an act? That I purposely act lazy and complain that everything is too troublesome and such a drag? And shinobi are supposed to be able to see underneath the underneath. It's just that I've been playing the entire world from the get go that even the Chunin and Jonin of the village think I'm lazy. Even Asuma-sensei, thought so, but he at least figured out I was a genius.

I still laugh to this day, when people can't get over the fact that a lowly, lazy Chunin is chief advisor to the Hokage. Being such an oddity, you would think my reputation would precede me but foreign ninja and dignitaries won't believe it until they've seen it with their own eyes. A simple slouching Chunin, sitting in front of and to the side of a blond, loud mouthed, white robed Hokage.

Could I have been Hokage? If I had wanted to, yes. I have the leadership skills. In fact during the first Chunin exams that I took part in I was the only Genin promoted to Chunin. Why you may ask? I gave up my match and let Temari win. She still hasn't forgiven me for that. Other people like the current Hokage and Kazekage, Naruto and Gaara respectively, fought and won their battles. Only difference between them and me is, I toyed with Temari. The moment I hit the stadium floor (with a rather rude push from Naruto) I already had my plan all figured out. The pause in the stadium, when I made my infamous "thinking" sign with my hands, was all for show. I could have given up that match at any time and I sure a few of the Chunin and Jonin realized that. Why else did I get promoted?

So if I could have been Hokage, and very easily been a Jonin as well, why didn't I? Everyone says it's cause I'm just too damn lazy and the position of Hokage would be too troublesome. Good, let people think that. Never mind the fact that being Chief Advisor is a just as much work, if not more than being the actual Hokage. I mean, doesn't anyone remember just how tense and 

worn out poor Shizune was all those years ago? Making sure the Hokage doesn't make a complete fool of himself and the village is a full time job.

And there are advantages to being just a Chunin that is famously lazy. Automatically anyone that tries to go head to head with me thinks I'm a softer target since I usually rank lower than themselves. That already gives me an edge and my opponents never realize that that was their first mistake.

Let's face it, even though Chunin and Jonin are fully fledged shinobi, the difference in rank does tend to make Jonin just a little careless around Chunin and I take full advantage of that fact. Plus it is so much fun to see those tiny signs of irritation that foreign Jonin and nobles have when they are forced to be overly polite to me. After all, I'm the Chief Advisor and just about everything has to go through me before it makes it to Naruto.

Still think I'm lazy? Well I do yawn a lot, sneak off to take naps, watch the clouds for hours on end, all in public view. Wonder where I ever got the reputation of being a lazy ass.

So that's my public life professionally; that lazy Chunin that just so happens to be the Chief Advisor to the Hokage. Romantically, well as a shinobi you really can't have open romances. Even if all the other shinobi in the village knows who is screwing who. Even I knew way back then that Asuma-sensei and Kurenai were a couple. Or the fact that Hinata had a massive crush on Naruto, or that my teammate Ino had a crush on the Uchiha traitor, as did Sakura who Naruto and Rock Lee was crushing on. Neji and Tenten were quietly seeing each other under the smoke screen of all this mess.

Out of that whole mess we all know what happened to Asuma-sensei and Kurenai. Being a stand in father at only 15 is a real challenge but it has given me lots of practice for when I get my own kids.

Neji and Tenten have gotten married, for the record the first of our age group to do so, and are expecting a kid in a month or two. Two very entertaining incidents came out of this; the day Tenten found out she was pregnant was the only time I have ever seen the Hyuga prodigy show any emotion in public (Fear as Tenten was chasing him down main street, deadly weaponry flying everywhere. It turns out that the baby was unplanned). Later Neji actually asked me for parenting advice. That last one absolutely floored me since Neji was known for never asking help or advice from anyone.

Out of the odd chase train, Sakura and Rock Lee are somehow a couple. An odd combination forged from Uchiha leaving and Naruto being taken. Ino eventually hooked up with Choji but more on the in the Private section.

Naruto finally saw the light of day (intervention by yours truly) and went after Hinata. And before you ask just how this happened, I was just hedging my own chances with my lady. She's 

very fond of Naruto cause of how he helped out her brother, Gaara. Now that Hinata totally consumes Naruto's thoughts, I can use her to help me guide the Hokage into making good decisions for the village.

Now if you are seeing another ninja from another village all together, that requires a whole new level of secrecy. At least back then it did. The bickering, hitting, and verbal sparring was the only way we could show any attention to each other without it looking overly suspicious. It became our own unique way of communicating while out in the world. Even with the current leadership of the Leaf and Sand, we still have to keep this game up. Privately, is another story.