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Hardened

Chapter One - Useless

He'd known it since the moment his father left with the war party. Standing in place on the ice and watching him go while trying not to cry had been one of the most difficult things the thirteen year old warrior had ever done. Sokka was grateful he couldn't feel the hot tears sliding over the gray, black, and white dyed penguin blubber painted on his face; it let him believe he was stronger than he felt. As the Southern Water Tribe men disappeared into the mist on their canoes, Sokka felt useless. His father had told him he wasn't old enough to go to war with them, but he knew he hadn't received enough training to be worth anything as a teacher to the remaining male children. He always felt he was floundering, attempting to look like being left behind didn't hurt, and that he actually had something to contribute to the tribe other than just another fisherman.

If it was bad at home, it was worse now. He still felt useless, but even more so because of his traveling companions. While it was probably unfair to compare himself to the Avatar himself, Sokka could not ignore the fact that the twelve year old boy already had more power and wisdom than the Water warrior would ever accrue. Aang carried tremendous skill and abilities as lightly as if everyone had them, sometimes using his airbending without really even trying. When he did try, however, the strength of his blows was unmatched. The last surviving Air Nomad knew he had to master each of the elements, and picked them up so quickly it was sometimes hard to watch.

The other traveler, his sister Katara, had really bloomed in her waterbending abilities since training with Master Pakku. Sokka was shocked at how much natural skill she had as he watched her fight the sour old man. She did at least six or eight new moves that she had never even tried before, and all because she was angry at the man's sexism. Very proud and slightly envious of Katara's power, he immediately sought out a warrior from which he could learn while at the Northern Water Tribe. Unfortunately, his training was cut short when the first black snow fell preceding the Fire Navy ships.

He remembered it exactly; he was on Appa's shoulders with the most beautiful, interesting, perfect girl he knew he would ever meet. Yue's radiant blue eyes, lithe and toned body, smooth dark skin against silky white hair, and delicate features had entranced Sokka from the very first moment he saw her. The fact that she was the daughter of the Chief actually had very little to do with how he felt. She made him laugh, and more incredibly, laughed at his jokes, too. Whenever he was with her, he never felt awkward or useless, as if he always knew the right thing to say and do.

When he was pulled from the mission to assassinate General Zhao to guard the Princess, Sokka couldn't have been more content. Not only was he finally needed and being trusted as a warrior, but he was also required to be near the only woman who had ever turned his thoughts so completely. So as the world lost all color with the death of Tui, the Moon Spirit, Sokka was practically glued to Yue's side. As soon as the old firebender Iroh asked if she'd been touched by the spirit's energy, the path had been laid. In a world suddenly black and white, Yue's eyes still shone brilliant blue, the last bit of the Moon Spirit's energy. Sokka begged Yue not to do the one thing even he knew she was meant for, but as she had told him before, she had no choice.

The Water warrior's heart seized as he watched the Princess lay her hands gently on the still white koi fish. Even from behind, Sokka could see the life force flowing out of his beloved and into Tui's earthly form. When Yue let out a quiet moan and fell, his heart broke. By the time he caught her lifeless form, he knew it was already too late. "She's gone!" he had cried out in shock, then held her tightly to him as her slight weight settled toward the earth. "She's gone," was all he could force past the overwhelming grief, and felt as if he could kneel beside the holy pond and cling to her forever.

He was robbed of even that, though, as her physical body faded into the spirit world. His empty arms felt cold and once again, useless. The white koi moved and Iroh placed it back in the water, causing the most wondrous vision of beauty to appear before them all. Yue's ethereal light cast a soft glow on Aang, Katara, Iroh, and Sokka's faces, making even the harsh armor of the fallen Fire Nation soldiers that Iroh had dispatched seem muted. She was so lovely Sokka wanted to cry.

She turned to him alone, saying, "I'll always be with you," and touched his face with her otherworldly fingertips. The sensation was warm and loving, conveying more than any words could in the living world. Yue had felt exactly toward him as he had toward her. It was a strange sensation, his heart leaping for joy and breaking in despair at the same time. She moved close and kissed him tenderly, passionately saying goodbye. A bittersweet moment to tell him that she was sad they would never see one another again, but privileged to have had even that brief time together. A wave of echoed emotion washed over Sokka and then she was gone. The warrior could do nothing but close his eyes in anguish, bowing his head to the unchangeable fact that he would never see her again.

Remembering that day was difficult for Sokka, and even sitting alone in the tent waiting for Katara and Aang to return from waterbending practice did not make the pain any less. He stared down at his bladed boomerang, which he had just finished sharpening. It was a mindless task, one he had to perform often to maintain the weapon's strength and effectiveness. Every warrior everywhere understood the maintenance their tools required, and often performed it lovingly. As faithful as his boomerang had been, he felt nothing for it. In fact, he was mildly surprised to learn, he didn't feel anything for anything.

Of course he wanted his sister and the Avatar to be safe from harm, but he was quite aware he had little to do with that. He was the only one he knew who was not a bender. Even that sniveling, self-righteous Prince Zuko could bend fire, leaving the magic-less, untrained warrior to be basically a map reader. Oh, and he often hunted their dinners. Sokka snorted in disgust at how he was even more useless than in the Southern Water Tribe. At least there, the boys and women looked to him as the eldest male in the village. Here, he was nothing. And he was alone. Slipping the razor-sharp boomerang resolutely back into its sheath, Sokka pulled out his war paints.

The sun had just slipped below the horizon when Aang and Katara finally decided to stop practicing. Both were wet and exhausted, barely able to trudge back to the small camp. As soon as it came into view, the female waterbender knew something was wrong. She saw that the tarp was pulled taughtly over the tent, a small fire was burning, and everything was in tidy order. She burst into the tent to find a small pile of fruits, nuts, and roots waiting, with all the clothing and furs folded neatly. "Aang!" she shouted. The young monk ran into the tent at the concern in her voice.

Katara was holding something. It was a white strip of silk with a small circle of jade hanging from the middle. Carved upon the turquoise stone was a stylized wave surrounding a boomerang. Along with it was a Southern Water Tribe's warrior's necklace made of the white shells of ice crabs. She held the unused betrothal necklace up along with the shell choker for Aang to see. She flashed a worried look and darted out of the tent. "Where's Sokka?" she asked as she peered into the surrounding brush.

The airbender called for his mount, "Appa!" and when the giant beast was beside him, closed his eyes briefly. He breathed in and sent out a wave of wind, blowing it right back in Appa's face. He moved the wind to all of the surrounding area, and when Appa finally caught Sokka's scent, he rumbled. The two jumped onto the flying bison and headed in that direction. Aang sniffed the wind and leaned forward on the giant head, "Uh oh, Katara, we'd better hurry."

She was already worried, but had to know, "Why?"

The Avatar's response was firm, "I smell blood."