My Not So Fairytale Wedding, a naruto fanfic

And so the deadly duo strikes again with another insanely long one-shot!

Yes, this is another collab with Shellzonfire and myself Windy days and daisy chains. After long days slaving on the damn ordinateur we have finally finished this absolutely fabulous wedding one-shot.

Yes I get the top HA!

Read and enjoy!

Standard disclaimer applied.

Summary: To say Sasuke's and Sakura's wedding was memorable is an understatement. 10 ways in which a wedding can go wrong.

My Not-so Fairytale Wedding

Uno-shot

Collab with Shellzonfire

THE KONOHA TRIBUTE

Fairytale wedding?

By Yamanaka Ino

It's the pinnacle moment in any couple's lives. It's the final step into showing your true, undying devotion towards each other.

Marriage.

The word is scary to some, but to woman like myself, its heaven! The day when you get to wear an extravagant, super expensive white dress and your 'prince charming' declares his unconditional love to you, and then swoops you up in his arms. Well…that's the way Disney portrayed it through our childhood, and it's all been lies!

Some of us have had fairytale weddings, but what about those who's had weddings gone amiss? Recently while attending a close friend's wedding, it looked like the circus rolled into town, rather then any kind of fairytale wedding! Birds stuck in the organ, uninvited guests attending and Ichiraku Ramen catering. Her perfect night, turned into a mess. This is why I have a complete list of Wedding rules, which should be carefully followed when planning your dream wedding! (Results may vary.)

1. In no circumstances whatsoever should you try out a new-do on the big day itself. Changing hair color is NOT recommended.

"Sakura!"

Burying her head further into the soft warm covers the woman paid no attention to the noisy racket echoing around her room. Grabbing the pillow with one hand and pushing it on top of her head with the other she groaned through the soft material, trying to block out the loud chatter of voices and the abnormal vibrations around her.

"Oi Sakura!"

Said girl only replied with a muffled curse, trying to merge herself with the bed. She immediately regretted speaking as a dull pain shot through her head. Wincing slightly as her head received more jabs of pain she mentally made a note to hunt down the person who was responsible for the killer hangover she was feeling now. Damn you Ino.

"Sakura! Sakura! Sakura!" Sang a voice.

"Wha–"

BAM!

POOF!

KA-POW!

Lying flat on her back Sakura lifted her head up to glare at the grinning blond perched on her bed, harsh sunlight glared through the open windows directly into bleary jade eyes, trying to avoid the light Sakura sat up, fingers massaging her throbbing head.

"Ino how much sake did we drink last night?" She managed to speak out, running a hand through her blob of pink hair, warily eyeing her best friend.

Swinging her legs the blond woman lifted her finger to her lips in mock thought, "well if you're wondering how much you drank," baby blue eyes observed the exhausted woman on the floor, a smile tugging her lips, "then the answer is a lot."

Emerald eyes blinked, "what do you mean a lot?"

Flipping her blond hair behind her Ino winked mischievously, skipping merrily to the door she shouted over her shoulder, "oh and you need to get ready Miss-soon-to-be-Uchiha! I'll be downstairs waiting so you better hurry up! We've got a lot of work to do before you walk down the aisle!"

Sakura glared at the closed door and turned to the overturned bed. She groaned as she closed her eyes for a moment before heading for the bathroom, hell-bent on finding some painkillers.

"I'm going to kill that pig…."

Eying the pair of scissors hanging of the stylists pale fingers jade eyes switched form a jumping Ino to the smirking stylist, wondering whether it was too late to make a run for it right now.

"Is it even legal for you to be holding those scissors?" Sakura asked, concern written over her face.

Swirling the blade around like a knife the stylist let out a laugh, "don't worry my dear Sakura-chan! When I'm done with you you'll look like a different person!"

"Yeah Sakura-chan! Anko has done this so many times! She's a natural!" Ino chirped.

"Natural my ass," Sakura muttered under her breath, "purple hair is so not natural."

Shivering at the sight of the older woman's masochists' grin the young medic wondered if that was a good thing, however under Ino's insistence she sat down on the chair, allowing the black bib to be tied around her and leaned back.

"Now relax," a voice said from somewhere to her right.

Sighing, the young woman closed her eyes, relaxing her muscles she didn't know if she was asleep or awake. Only that she was drifting weightless dreaming of images filled with white dresses and a certain onyx eyed fiancé.

Back to the land of the living a particular purple haired so-called 'stylist' cackled madly to herself. Grabbing the blue bottle of shampoo and equipped with a pair of scissors she approached the motionless mass of pink, arms bent and legs crouched.

Tilting the chair back Anko rested the bride's hair in the specially-designed-for-washing-hair sink she turned on the water, wetting the hair until it was fully drenched. Grinning madly to herself, Anko grabbed the blue bottle pouring a large amount into her hand and massaging it into Sakura's hair.

Her grin widened as she continued to merge the shampoo with the pink hair, well this isn't so bad.

10 minutes later…..

"I can't believe you! Now what are we going to do!"

One lazy green eye popped open before dropping down, making herself more comfortable Sakura smiled slightly as the image of herself and Sasuke holding hands at the alter entered her mind.

"Hey it wasn't my fault! It was a mistake!"

"A mistake! HA! You moron!"

Knotting her brow together the bride shuffled slightly in her chair, annoyed as her fantasies were rudely interrupted by two loud screaming voices.

"Sakura is so going to kill us!"

Sakura? Why would I kill them for?

"Hey she's going to kill you not me!"

Wait a damn minute!

"And why would I kill you for?"

The two woman jumped, their arguing immediately dying as they turned to gaze at the kunoichi.

"Err, well you see Sakura-chan," Ino began, mouth stretched in a wide smile, "there seems to be a problem."

Pink eyebrows shot up, "problem? What problem? Don't tell me something's wrong now," she wailed throwing her hands up in the air, "my wedding is supposed to be perfect!"

The purple haired woman grinned sheepishly at her, "now please don't panic Sakura, but it seems there's been a little accident concerning your hair," she finished, looking pointedly at the cherry blossoms famous hair.

"Problem?" Reaching the nearest mirror Sakura peered at her reflection, "what do you…..."

"AHHHHHHH!" Sakura screamed as she gaped at her reflection in horror, "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENNED TO MY HAIR!"

Wincing at the amplitude of her voice Ino walked up to her distressed friend, "it's not too bad Sakura-chan."

Bad was an understatement. The once beautiful bubblegum pink locks falling gracefully down Sakura's back were now blobs of unrecognizable orangey mess looking so bright and well orange the medic could probably be mistaken as Naruto's younger sister.

"Not too bad! This is a TRAGEDY!" Sakura wailed, falling to her knees hands covering her face, "My hair is ORANGE! I can't believe this is happening to me on my WEDDING DAY!" She cried before bursting into tears.

Putting her arms around the soon-to-be bride's trembling shoulders Ino tried to reassure her friend, "hey calm down Sakura-chan everything will turn out okay. Besides, your hair doesn't look too bad."

Someone snorted.

The sobbing ceased and the shoulders stopped shaking. Ino blinked confused before slowly backing away from the bride as a dark aura started to radiate of her body. She glanced at Anko who didn't seem to realize the cherry blossoms anger and continued on smiling.

"YOU!" Pointing at the giggling woman Sakura narrowed her eyes into slits, "you're the one who turned my hair ORANGE! YOU BITCH!"

Anko shrugged nonchalantly, "the bleach and shampoo looked the same. An honest mistake."

Sakura laughed, sneering at her, "yeah! For someone with PURPLE HAIR!"

The impassive face vanished morphing into an animalistic growl, "don't diss the hair!"

Planting her hands on her hips the young medic smirked under her tangy hair, "or what? Purple head?" Anko growled, pushing up her sleeves she marched straight over only to be blocked off.

"Oie! Will you two cut it out!" Ino snapped, using one hand to hold off a fuming Anko and the other to stop a raging bride, "I'm sure there's something we can use to make Sakura's hair look less…" she struggled to find the right words finally resolving to say, "….orange."

"Well it's her fault! I mean who can mistake bleach for shampoo!" Sakura angrily shouted, muttering, "Dumbass," under her breath.

The older woman's face puffed red, "what did you say! I dare you to say it again!" She hollered pointing a finger in the bride's direction.

Smiling sweetly Sakura replied, "Ok then, I said dumbass. Because that is what you are! Dumbass dumbass dumbass!" She repeated singing the words at the top of her voice.

"Oh that's it!" Pushing away the blond barrier with one hand Anko charged straight on at the smirking woman, "you've had it carrot face!"

The smirk vanished, jade eyes glimmered dangerously, and lifting a fist in the air Sakura chuckled darkly while trying to push away her orange hair at the same time. "Bring it on bitch!"

Lying on the sidelines spread out on the floor Ino continued to stare straight up at the ceiling, listening to the loud shrieks and screams emitting off the two angered women. She vaguely wondered what her boyfriend was doing and began counting the wall tiles in boredom, waiting for the two women to stop fighting.

"I bet Sasuke isn't having any of these kinds of problems."

BAM!

SPLAT!

BOOM!

"SHANNARO!"

Ino sighed.

"Oie Teme, answer your damn door!"

The sound of the door bell ringing three times a second alerted Sasuke. Annoyed, he swung the door open.
"What the–…what are you wearing?" Sasuke said as he gazed at Naruto's attire. Naruto continued grinning and popped his suit out. "it's the only suit I have. It's appealing, no?"

"You have an orange suit?" Sasuke said staring in disbelief at his blond friend. Naruto cocked an eyebrow.

"Doesn't everyone?"

Sasuke sighed and walked down the hall, leaving the door opened for Naruto to come in. Reaching a mirror in the hall, Sasuke readjusted his tie.

Naruto smirked. "hey teme, I have an extra orange suit if you–"

"Hell no."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Whatever teme. I'll bring my extra suit just incase."

Sasuke shook his head in annoyance. "Do you have my ring dobe?"

Naruto ginned and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box. "Right here! Sakura asked me to keep the one she's giving you too, but you can't see it."

Sasuke was going to ask why the hell Sakura would give Naruto her ring, but decided time was of the essence, and there was no time for small talk. He had been up since the crack of dawn to prepare for his wedding, and he was definitely not going to be late for it.

"Let's go."

2. Driving and Ramen do not mix well…literally.

-
The wind blew furiously through both Naruto and Sasuke's hair, as they drove down the expressway. Naruto's old 1977 white mustang had the roof down seeing as it was such a beautiful day. Arguing for ten minutes on what car to take, Sasuke finally gave into Naruto's senseless whining. Weaving through traffic, the car roared ferociously. Sasuke began to wonder if riding in this bucket on wheels was safe.

As they drove on, Naruto began babbling about how 'hype' the party after the wedding was gunna be.

BOOM!

The engine roared loudly and the car suddenly jolted. Both men could feel the car slowing down.

"What the hell happened dobe?!" Sasuke said angered as the engine gave out. Naruto weaved over to the side of the road as the car stopped moving.

Naruto turned the key in the ignition three times, but the car would not start up. Angered, Sasuke opened his door and headed towards the hood of the car.

"Stupid piece of–" Sasuke stopped as he opened the hood and stared at the inside of the car.

"Dobe, what's with the ramen in here?"

Naruto shrieked in shock. "NO!" he opened his door and dashed out in front of the car and looked inside the hood.

"M-my ramen spilled! NO!"

"Why the hell do you have ramen in the hood of your car?"

"Because the heat cooks it, and I can eat it when I get hungry!"

Sasuke slapped himself in the forehead. Why was he friends with this guy again?

The ramen had spilt all through the engine, probably clogging a few pipes. The engine began steaming. Sasuke growled.

"You idiot."

Pulling out his cell phone, Sasuke had no bars. Annoyed, he went around to the driver's seat of the car and looked for Naruto's phone.

Still no bars.

"No fucking way…"

At the side of the road, Naruto's ramen cup stood. Sasuke went up and kicked it in aggravation.

"What else could go wrong!?"

HONK!

ksplash!

A big transport trunk driving by hit a puddle of mud, causing the mud to fly in the air and land right on Sasuke, covering him in the brown goop. The Uchiha stood there in total disbelief that this was happening.

"AHAHA TEME, YOU GOT OWNED BY THAT TRUCK!" Naruto said laughing, holding his stomach. As Naruto laughed so much, he titled to his left, causing his pocket to face down. The contents in his pocket landed right inside the engine of his car, unknowingly to him and Sasuke.

Sasuke glared at the blond. "This is all you fault!"

Naruto stopped laughing and shot Sasuke an angry glance. "My fault!? How is this my fault!? You were the one standing to close to the side of the road!"

Sasuke scoffed. "You were the one who wouldn't let me take my car! We would have been there already if we had taken my car, instead of this prehistoric box on wheels!"

"Hey, you know the 'stang is magnificent!"

Before Sasuke could retort back, the sound of a car skidding caught both men's attention. A green Volkswagen beetle braked and pulled up in front of Sasuke and Naruto. Through the window, Sasuke and Naruto could see something familiar…a certain hairstyle that represented a mushroom…

"Ah, Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun!"

"Lee?" both men said staring at the man in bewilderment. Lee was sporting a green tux, as he was invited to Sasuke and Sakura's wedding. Lee smiled, causing his teeth to sparkle.

"That's me, the youthful green beast of Konoha! Now what are you two doing out here? Aren't you supposed to be at the wedding Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke glared at Naruto. "I would have been if the dobe didn't have such a prehistoric car."

"Shut up teme!"

"What happened to the car?" Lee inquired walking up to the open hood of the car. Naruto laughed uneasily and rubbed the back of his head.

"Eh, well the car broke down…hehe…"

Lee gave them a thumbs up. "Yosh, then ride with me! Waiting around for help will make you late for the wedding!"

"What time is it?"

Lee checked his watch. "One fifteen."

"Let's go then!"

Lee nodded. As he was turning back to his car, he scanned Sasuke and blinked. "Are you going to the wedding like that?"

"Does it look like I have another suit?" Sasuke said in a deathly tone. Naruto jumped.

"But I do dattebayo! Told you bringing an extra tux would be a good idea teme!"

Sasuke felt like hitting his head against the hood of the car. What started out as a good morning was slowly going downhill.

3. The dress is the most important piece of the wedding. First and foremost before the rings and even the groom! The dress has to perfect, traditional, jaw-dropping and most of all… white.

"There all done!"

Turning to look at her reflection in the mirror she gasped at her reflection, running a hand over her hair. Turning to the two women she smiled at them gratefully, "thank you so much for rescuing my hair! I don't what I would have done without you two!"

The dark purple haired woman placed a hand on the brides shoulder, smiling a gentle smile at her reflection, "nonsense Sakura-chan it was the least we could do."

"Besides," the other woman reached for a bobby pin sticking out of her mouth, pinning a loose strand of her back firmly to the brides head, crimson eyes twinkling, "your orange hair will be unrecognizable under your veil."

"Speaking of veils," a voice spoke from the doorway, "the wedding dress has finally arrived."

The woman turned to see a tall brunette walk into the room. Her chocolate brown hair curled at the middle of her back. The fringe was swept to the side giving her a more elegant look. A simple cream strapless dress with a tight fitted bodice flowed to her knees and a pair of dark cream heels covered her feet.

"You look amazing Ten-Ten!"

"Yeah yeah so I've been told," the weapon mistress commented, flopping down on a chair, ruining the whole graceful act and slouching against the chair, handing the large-sized package to Hinata.

"You actually look pretty in that dress, are you trying to outshine the bride?" Sakura teased from her place, still admiring Hinata and Kurenai's work.

Ten-Ten eyed her, lingering on the peculiar color of hair, "well that wouldn't be so hard considering the bride has orange hair. Can I ask why you dyed it orange? Are you trying to co-ordinate with Naruto or something?"

Sakura opened her mouth to speak only to be cut off by Kurenai, "it's a long story Ten-Ten. Now let's get you into that dress shall we?"

Standing up Sakura joined the rest of the women as they crowded around Hinata, un-zipping the covers of the package all four women held their breath as they watched the beautiful white dress tumble out.

There was silence. The sounds of birds chirping sounded distantly as a peaceful silence rested inside the church……

"WHAT THE HELL!"

Gaping open mouthed Sakura stared down at the dress. "What. The. Hell. Is. THAT!" She finished screeching.

The other three were left speechless, merely staring at the dress–if you could call it that–and wondering what to say.

"Well," Ten-Ten began, "it sure isn't traditional."

Sending the brunette a dirty look Sakura threw her hands in the air, "first my hair now my dress!" She wailed, clutching her head in both hands, "I'll look like I'm mourning in that!"

"Well…" Kurenai held the dress up at arms length, "it isn't too bad."

Lifting her head out of her heads emerald eyes narrowed, "too bad? TOO BAD!? It's the most hideous thing I've ever seen! More hideous then Lee's spandex!"

Placing a comforting hand on the young soon-to-be bride's shoulder the Hyuuga heiress tried to reassure her, "its okay Sakura-chan," she spoke soothingly, stroking her hair, "everything will be okay."

Sighing Ten-Ten turned away from the sobbing bride and examined the dress with a critical eye. In five words–big, poofy, purple, black and atrocious.

Satisfied with her evaluation the brunette turned to Kurenai, "what do you think?"

The raven haired woman sighed, shaking her head, "the shop probably sent the wrong dress and it's only open on Monday's and Thursdays. We need to find another dress."

"But where am I going to get a wedding dress fitted to my size at such late notice!?" Sakura sobbed from behind them.

Hinata swallowed hard, getting the words out wasn't what she was worried about, it was Sakura's reaction which scared her, "ano… Erm S-Sakura-chan, I'm a-afraid you m-may h-have to w-wear the d-dress," she finished feeble, taking cautious steps away from the bride.

Standing up shakily Sakura stared blankly at the three terrified women before promptly bursting into tears and running out of the room. A few minutes later Ino appeared grumbling to herself, dressed in a blue chiffon dress past her knees with a blue fitted bodice and white silk belt tied around her waist.

"Where the hell are those mor–oh hey girls," she paused and looked around the room, "hey where's forehead?"

Collapsing into the chair again Ten-Ten pointed to the ugly dress lying on the table, "she ran away because of that."

Blue eyes stared shocked, roaming the whole length of the dress the pink cell phone in her hand dropped to the floor with a thud but it remained there while its owner gawked at the black and purple un-traditional dress.

"Please don't tell me that's Sakura's wedding dress?"

4. Appearing on time for your wedding in proper attire is essential, especially when you're a V.I.P, such as the groom.

"Damn teme, orange is definitely not your colour!"

"Shut up dobe. It's your tux anyway."

"But it looks good on me. Man, wait till Sakura-chan see's you! You won't even look like a groom!"
"Shut the hell up Naruto! And why the hell did we stop!?" Sasuke demanded angrily as the small Volkswagen came to a halt.

Lee looked out the window grinning. "We're at a turtle crossing! A family of turtles are trotting by!"

"So? Run them over!"

Lee gasped. "Are you crazy Sasuke-kun?! We must preserve these youthful turtles! Do you think Sakura-san will be very happy to know you wanted to run over a family of turtles?!"

"Yeah well she won't be very happy if teme doesn't get to his wedding on time!" Naruto said, knowing what wrath Sakura would execute of they didn't show up soon.

"Don't worry guys! These turtles won't take that long!"

12 Minutes later…

"Damnit lee! They've moved a foot!"

"Patience is a virtue Sasuke-kun!"

Losing his patience, Sasuke opened the car door and stepped out. He began walking up to the turtles.

"Hey Sasuke, I don't think that's a good idea. They have tails…" Naruto said watching his friend walk up to the turtles. Sasuke scoffed.

"They're turtle's dobe."

Sasuke lowered his hand to pick one up, when said turtle snapped at him. Sasuke quickly pulled his arm back.

"Oh, snapping turtles! Watch it teme, they bite hard!"

Oh yes, the infamous snapping turtle. Aggravate it, and it'll snap your fingers off.

Naruto let out a low whistle. "Damn, we're never gunna make it for the wedding."

Shizune looked around and then down to her checklist. Ticking another box she hitched up her floor length pale green gown and walked over to the entrance.

"Ah you must be the pianist," welcoming the tall woman with a few music sheets tucked under her arms. The raven haired woman ticked off another box, "thank you for coming, if you'd like to get ready the organ is over there," pointing in the direction she smiled at the woman who disappeared round the corner.

She walked back into the main hall. Rows of wooden benches lined most of the area with a long aisle in the middle as a long white rug stretched from the large double doors to the alter where behind it a tall organ stood.

The walls were covered with white and blue flowers with the occasional red rose decorating the benches. Shizune caught a glimpse of Shikamaru and Chouji lounging on the benches, mingling with Hyuuga Neji. A few people had arrived, only a couple of the guests however everyone was mostly busy in last-minute preparations trying to get the work done before the ceremony started.

Shizune looked down at her watch and frowned. Everyone who was needed was here, except two people…

"Shizune!" a voice shouted to her. Ino hurried across the hall towards her, one hand clutching the hem of her dress the other clutching a pink cell-phone pressed to her ear. "Have Naruto and Sasuke arrived yet?"

The raven haired woman shook her head, "I was just wondering where they were, but no sign of them yet."

Ino let out a frustrated moan, throwing the phone back into her purse, "I've tried ringing them but their phones aren't working!" She ran a hand through her blond locks, "I'm going to go check the main entrance again; see if they've arrived yet." And rushed out of the hall, blond hair swinging behind her.

"Okay! Sakura are you ready?" Ino said as she walked into the room.

"Umm… I guess so," Sakura nervously replied, lifting her chin up as Hinata did the finishing touches of make-up on her cheeks. Dressed in the ugly puffy dress Sakura had no choice but to grin and bear it as the women frantically worked around her, trying to make her look less morose and depressed.

Ten-Ten placed the veil on the brides head, "your hair doesn't look that orange any more. In fact it's looking more of a peach color–"

"Ten-Ten drop it," Sakura said firmly.

"I think we're done here," Kurenai announced, stepping back she observed the bride carefully a small smile tugging her lips, "you look beautiful Sakura."

"Well the dress is unusual but I agree with Kurenai," a deep feminine voice sounded from the door.

"Shishou!" The young woman smiled brightly, walking to where her mentor now stood dressed in an emerald green floor-length gown with a matching shawl wrapped around her chest.

"Sorry I'm late, Jiriaya wouldn't stop pestering me," she wrinkled her nose at the thought of her white haired friend, "that pervert's probably somewhere in Suna by now."

Sakura giggled, Jiraiya never stopped annoying her, if it was from ogling her large chest to just plain being a nuisance he would always receive a jaw-breaking punch however why he always seemed to pop up even after he had been thrown a fair few feet was beyond the young medic.

"Anyway I'm going to go check some last minute arrivals," Ino announced disappearing from the room.

"I remember the days when I began to train you. Teaching you all I knew at the hospital," Tsunade sighed, a faraway look on her face, "and look at you now! All grown up and ready to walk down the aisle."

Sakura smiled, shaking her head, "I remember those days." She clapped her gloved hands, "but now I'm stronger because of that!"

The blond woman nodded as she pulled her apprentice in for a hug, "but just remember. I expect a couple of pink haired Uchiha's running around the village soon. Understand?"

Sakura burst into laughter, pulling herself away from her mentor, "hai Shishou… and thank you for everything."

Tsunade shook her head, pulling the veil over her apprentices face, "good luck."

"All right ladies," Kurenai clapped her hands to grab their attention, "let's get down there, only 10 minutes till the ceremony starts."

"Damnit, where are they!?" Ino said frantically looking around, asking guests if they had noticed the groom arrive yet. So far, she got the same negative answer.

She resorted to calling them again, but still, no answer.

"Where in the hell could they be!?" she erupted pulling her hair. There could be no wedding if the groom didn't show up!

"Ino, do you have the rings? Ton-Ton is ready with the basket, while Tsukushi, Kurenai's daughter is ready to walk the isle with her flowers." Shizune said coming out from around the corner. Ino shook her head.

"No, Naruto-baka had them and he and Sasuke are no where to be found!"

"Well they better get here fast. The wedding starts in only a few minutes."

"Alright, we'll have to wait till then. Don't tell Sakura that Sasuke's missing though. Also, try to stall for time."

"Hai…I'll do what I can." Shizune confirmed as she left the room. Aggravated, Ino went down the hall and outside of the church.

"AH! If those two don't arrive in five seconds, I will–"

"INO!"

Ino looked out, and there driving up with a green Volkswagen beetle. She instantly recognized Naruto's loud obnoxious voice. Driving at an insanely fast speed, the car braked right at the front of the church.

"Hallelujah!" she sang out walking down the steps of the church towards the car. As Sasuke, Lee and Naruto stepped out of the car, Ino instantly froze.

"What the hell is with all the orange!?" Ino roared out staring at Naruto and Sasuke. She rubbed her eyes.

"First Sakura, now you too Sasuke?!"

Sasuke arched a brow. "What?"

Ino shook her head. "Never mind, you have two minutes to get up to the alter. Get going!"

Sasuke nodded and dashed past Ino, not wanting to waste more time. Naruto began to follow after, but was halted by Ino's arm.

"Where are the wedding rings? You have them, right?"

Naruto grinned and dug into his pocket. "Of course I have them dattebayo! They're right here in my pock–"

Naruto froze as he felt the emptiness of his pocket.

Ino raised an eyebrow impatiently. "Okay well hand them over! I have to go give them to Ton-Ton!"

Naruto felt nervous as he continued digging in his pockets and found nothing. He let out a nervous laugh.

"Well… I-I'll go give them to Ton-Ton! Don't you w-worry Ino!" Naruto said as he ran past Ino and into the church. Ino and Lee stared in confusion as the blond disappeared into the church.

Ino sighed. "This day is just going to get worse, I can tell."

5. The rings seal the deal of any wedding. The more expensive, the better the chance of a healthy relationship. Go big, or go home.

"Crap, oh man, teme and Sakura-chan are gunna beat my ass!" Naruto said frantically looking through his clothes, trying to find those rings, but he came up empty handed.

"No, no! no! no! NO!"

He had the rings when they left Sasuke's place... so where could they be!? Did he, drop them somewhere?

There was no time to think back on it. Naruto dashed out of the washroom and looked around. He needed something to substitute the rings and fast!

"Oh look at my ring! It looks so real!"

"So does mine!"

Naruto turned to the sound of the word 'ring.' To his left were two little kids, probably some of the guest's kids, were wearing rings on their fingers.

"Hey kids!"

Both girls turned to Naruto as he rushed at them. They both looked slightly frightened as a man in an orange suit came at them.

"Where'd you get those rings?" he asked. They looked at each other and shrugged.

"From a vending machine thing in the mall."

Naruto sighed. They looked real enough. They were plastic and gold… and under the circumstances, Naruto needed something fast!

"Wanna trade?" he said reasoning with the children.

"Whatca' got orange man?"

"Forty cents, a paper clip, and two ramen coupons."

The kids perked up. "Ramen coupons!"

Naruto reached into his back pocket and pulled out the two coupons. He resisted letting them go, but eventually lost the tug-or-war match with the little kid. The other one handed the two rings to Naruto, and then the two ran off. Naruto sighed.

"They got the better end of the trade."

"NARUTO!" Ino's rampaging voice echoed through the hall. Naruto stood up and hid the rings in his pocket.

"Heh, Ino?"

Ino raced up in front of Naruto with an angry look on her face. "Where's the rings!? You were suppose to give them–"

"I couldn't find Ton-Ton!" he lied. Ino shook her head in frustration and grabbed the man's arm, pulling him towards where Ton-Ton and Tsukushi were waiting.

"Put them in the basket already and let's get to the front of the church! It's about to start!"

Sasuke bolted through the main doors and ran into the church. As soon as he got in, all heads turned to the Uchiha, in total surprise.

"Whoa, Sasuke, what are you wearing!? It's blinding!" Kiba said pulling out a pair of sunglasses and putting them on. Sasuke scowled and walked up to the alter.

"Shut up dog."

"Hey Uchiha, you don't look half bad." A voice said from the other side of the church. Looking over, there sat a composed Juugo and a smirking Suigestu. Sasuke rolled his eyes at the two guests and ran up to the alter.

Sasuke looked up at the faces in attendance. Family and friends waited patiently for the wedding to begin.

"Yo, teme!"

Sasuke didn't even bother turning to his side as he knew Naruto had joined him at the front.

"You ready to get tied down?" Naruto joked. Sasuke rolled his eyes, deciding not to respond.

Now that Sasuke had arrived, the lady at the organ stretched out her fingers.

6. Music is the soul of a wedding. You cannot expect the bride to walk up to the alter with no music! It must be sweet and elegant, not obnoxious and disturbing.

The pianist hit the first three notes. The sound echoed through the church in a sweet melody.

The next few notes were not so sweet.

"EP EP EEPP!"

The pianist stopped instantly as the sound did not sound like an organ, but rather, a dying animal.

"NO!"

Everyone in attendance at the church turned to their left, where Juugo was standing. He had a deadly look on his face. He stomped his way over to the organ and opened it up violently. Inside was a pigeon, stuck between keys. Juugo reached in and grabbed the bird, cradling it in his hands. Taking it out, he held it against his chest. Everyone in attendance just watched in silence.

Juugo turned to everyone and glared. A dark look crossed his face as the bird in his hands whimpered. Deciding to leave, Juugo walked around the organ and down the isle to the door, kicking it open. He left in a flash.

An awkward silence hung on the room, scratching his head Naruto turned to Sasuke, "what the hell just happened teme?"

Sasuke shook his head, "I don't want to know."

The pianist seemed to have shaken off the shock of finding a pigeon in the organ and began playing a melodious tune. Everything seemed to be turning back to normal and the atmosphere of a wedding settled on the hall. Suddenly a loud screech echoed across the room, startling the two men at the alter.

"THE FUTURE LADY UCHIHA IS HERE!"

Slapping a hand on his forehead Sasuke groaned Naruto looked at the groom curiously, while trying to locate where the shout had come from, "who was that? Sasuke-teme do you know who shouted that?"

"Aa," the Uchiha nodded, a dark look passing across his face, "someone I should have destroyed a long time ago."

Before the blond could say anything a flash of red caught his eye, cerulean eyes widened, "no way," a smirk tugging his lips, "well look who it is teme," he waggled his eyebrows, "it seems you forgot to invite someone ne?"

7. One of the main downfalls of a wedding are wedding crashers. These annoying pests can pop up anywhere. If you experience these irritating vermin then leading them out of the premises as soon as possible is the safest and easiest choice. Note: FANGIRLS ARE NOT WELCOME!

Wiggling her hips the red haired woman smiled as she strutted down the aisle. The white dress –if you could call the piece of cloth a dress–covered only the most intimate areas of the body, a tight bodice resembling a white lacy bra followed by a white skirt with white material connected to the back and stretching the length of the rug.

Striding purposefully in six inch stilettos she walked up to the alter where an open mouthed blond and her soon-to-be-husband stood.

Sasuke crossed his arms, "Karin what are you doing here?"

Karin giggled flirtatiously, "oh silly Sasuke-kun! It's our wedding remember? Your bride has arrived!"

Naruto rolled his ours, "Sakura-chan's the teme's bride! Not you!"

"Oh shut up blondie!" Karin snapped, she turned to Sasuke and giggled, pulling her make-up covered face closer to his, "now where were we?"

Pushing her away Sasuke scowled, "Karin go away."

Wrapping her arms around him the red haired woman jutted out her breasts, winking at him she gave him a coil smile, "oh Sasuke-kun how can I go away, I AM your bride."

Naruto growled in annoyance. "Ok that's it Chouji! Shino!"

The two men appeared behind Karin, grabbing her by her arms they hauled her off Sasuke and dragged her down the aisle.

"OI WHAT ARE DOING? TAKE ME BACK TO MY SASUKE-KUN–YOU'RE RUINING OUR WEDDING!" She continued screeching, trying to escape from their grip, "LET GO OF ME YOU FAT BASTARD!"

Chouji stiffened. In the throng of guests Ino and Shikamaru's eyes widened, exchanging worried glances the Nara genius shook his head, "she's had it now."

Ino shrugged as she tried to get a better view at the scene, "well at least the we'll get the fangirl problem sorted out."

"What was that?" a deep hiss escaped the red haired mans lips.

Karin blinked, opening her mouth she shouted loudly, "I SAID LET GO YOU FAT–"

"NO-ONE CALLS ME FAT!" Chouji roared, picking the female up and lifting her up high, "I'M BIG BONED DAMNIT!"

"AAAH LET ME GO!" Karin screamed, trying to escape his grip.

A dark glint flashed in Chouji's eyes, lifting her higher up in the air his arm went soaring in a perfect arc, sending the object he was holding into the air and through the window.

"AAAAAAAAH!"

Not for the first time today only the heavy panting of an angered Chouji was heard throughout the hall. Back at the alter Naruto laughed nervously, making some wild handed gestures to the pianist the woman soon got the idea, shaking her head she once again began playing the harmonious tune.

Shoving his hands in his pockets Sasuke glanced at the hole in the window, vaguely wondering how much it would cost to fix, then landing on the closed double doors.

Beside him Naruto sighed. "Let's hope nothing else goes wrong eh teme?"

"So are you ready Sakura?" Tenten said as she looked out the door at the little flower girl as she was about to leave. Sakura sighed.

"My hair is orange, my dress is everything but normal…I think I'm ready." Sakura said sarcastically as she sat up.

"Oh, you think you weird?" Ino said as she entered the room. Sakura raised a brow.

"What do you mean?"

Ino shook her head. "You'll see for yourself when you get out there."

Deciding there was no sense into trying to pry it out of Ino, Sakura sighed. It was time to go out there, and where in the hell was Kakashi to take her down the isle!?
"Sakura?" Kakashi's passive voice called out in the back room.

"You're late!" Sakura called back. Kakashi turned the corner, his face inside his Icha Icha paradise book.

"Well you see, I happened upon a turtle crossing and–oh… I thought you would have gone with something more traditional Sakura."

Sakura laughed half heartedly, "yeah, so did I, but apparently the dress shop thought otherwise."

Kakashi inspected her more. "And that hair…are you trying to coordinate with Sasuke?"

Sakura furrowed her brows. "Coordinate with Sasuke-kun? What are you talking about?"

Kakashi let out a chuckle. "Oh, you'll see for yourself. Now let's get in line."

Sighing, Sakura linked arms with Kakashi, as he stuffed his book in his pocket. Kakashi bent down to Sakura's ear.

"Even though this was not how I envisioned you on your wedding day, you do look beautiful."

Sakura blushed. "Thanks Kakashi-sensei. You look snazzy yourself."

Kakashi smiled and turned his attention to the front of the line, waiting for everyone to move.

However, the line wasn't moving anywhere.

"What's the hold up?" Tenten asked Hinata. Hinata shrugged. "I don't know."

"A crack-pot entered the wedding uninvited. No worries, Chouji took take care of it." Ino said coming into her place in line. Hinata and Tenten shrugged.

"This day just keeps getting more bizarre."

Now with Karin gone, Sasuke turned his attention to the back of the church, where his soon-to-be-bride was going to walk down the isle towards him.

Ton-ton came out first, bearing the wedding rings in small boxes. Naruto gulped at the sight of the pig.

Soon after, Kurenai's daughter Tsukushi followed, lightly sprinkling flower petals. The crowd 'awed' at the little girl. Next came the bridesmaids Tenten and Hinata, escorted by the groomsmen Neji and Kiba. Soon they were followed by Ino, who trotted down the aisle. Finally, the moment everyone had been waiting for.

The bride.

Kakashi came out first from around the corner. Sasuke held his breath, ready to see how Sakura would react to his tux.

Step,

Step.

"S-Sakura-chan!?" Naruto gawked.

Sakura finally became visible from around the corner. Everyone in the church's eyes bulged out. They looked back and forth between Sasuke and Sakura, confused.

"Whoa, I am totally over dressed. No body told me this was a costume wedding. I thought Halloween wasn't for another three months!" Kiba said inspecting his suit. Neji jabbed him in the ribs.

Sakura embarrassed enough, didn't dare look up at Sasuke, for the fear of his reaction.

As she walked up the isle with Kakashi, she could feel everyone's eyes on her. Of course, she knew they'd all be staring, but she figured they'd be staring with admiring eyes…not looks of confusion.

Walking up the isle, closer to the alter; Sakura could hear Naruto's chuckling voice.

"Hey look teme, you and Sakura-chan match!"

Looking up, Sakura's eyes bulged out.

Was this some kind of set up?

Sasuke was wearing a vibrant orange suit, one of the most hideous things ever, while Sakura's hair was orange, and her dress was just as hideous.

Kakashi and Sakura had finally made it to the alter. Kakashi let Sakura go as she reached Sasuke. Sasuke and Sakura just stared at each other's wardrobe. They both turned to Naruto who shrugged. They then turned back to Hinata, Tenten and Ino who both shrugged. The two looked back at each other and shrugged.

At least they could look back on this in a few good years and laugh about it.

They both turned to the front, ready to meet the priest.

Except, there was no priest.

The crowd of people began talking, wondering if this whole wedding was a joke. Sasuke and Sakura looked around frantically for a priest, who was no where in sight.

Sakura looked at Shizune for assistance. Looking at her clipboard, she noticed an unchecked box.

The priest.

8. Do I really need to give a proper rule here? No priest, no wedding, end of story. And when picking a priest, do get a legit priest, not one who reads Icha Icha paradise.

She slapped herself in the forehead. This wedding was turning out horribly.

Kakashi sighed. "Well, this wedding is already going downhill, so why not?"

He walked up in front of the podium and looked through the book already set there. Skimming it through, he cleared his throat. "Here ye, here ye. We are gathered here today to witness the holy matrimony between Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura."

After reading a random passage he found in the ceremony book, he tossed it aside and pulled out his faithful book, Icha Icha Paradise: wedding edition.

Opening his book, he spoke up. "And now, an exert from the gospel according to Jiraiya entitled: Icha Icha paradise: wedding edition. William Shakespeare once stated, "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind." Jun turned to Hotaro, staring in her deep blue eyes. He now understood what Sir William had meant. Jun lunged at Hotaro, crushing her in his vice grip hug. From that moment on, Jun knew he wanted Hotaro forever, and tonight, they would make love till the crack of dawn."

Kakashi continued reading the R-rated exert from the book, even giggling at times. His voice trailed off, until he began reading silently. He continued giggling as it read on in his mind.

Sakura flushed while Sasuke was loosing his patience. Kakashi looked up at the two and smiled.

"Oh, my bad. Well, that exert clearly stated how sex is a good thing. Sex is good, sex is a sin. Sins are forgiven, therefore, sex is in. Now I will remind you two that tonight you should take it slow at first, but then as the passion–"

Tsunade, already having to deal with Jiraiya, walked up to the podium and whacked Kakashi in the head.

"You are by far the worst priest ever! This is a wedding, not sex therapy! Now let me take over!"

Kakashi whimpered and walked back to where he went after he had been standing earlier when he let Sakura go.

Tsunade cleared her throat. "Seeing as we've had enough in the way of readings…let us now move onto the vows and the exchanging the rings."

Naruto instantly tensed. Hopefully Sasuke and Sakura wouldn't notice the rings were fake…

Tsunade turned to Sasuke. "Do you, Uchiha Sasuke take Haruno Sakura to be your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do you part?"

Sasuke nodded . "I do."

Tsunade then turned to Sakura. "And do you, Haruno Sakura take Uchiha Sasuke to be your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do you part?"

Sakura nodded happily. "I do!"

Tsunade nodded. "If there are any objections, speak now, or forever hold your peace."

In the distance, Karin's voice sounded out, but of course, no one heard it.

Tsunade continued. "You may now exchange rings."

Ton-ton waddled over with the basket. Sasuke bent down to pick up both boxes, handing over Sakura's box to her. Both of them opened the box and froze.

"Naruto…" both Sasuke and Sakura said in a deep murderous voice. Naruto laughed nervously and gave them a thumbs up. They were to so ready to strangle the blond.

"Ehem." Tsunade said interrupting Sasuke and Sakura's glaring session at the blond. They both turned to each other and gracefully placed each others…twenty-five cent rings on each others fingers. They both turned back to Tsunade who was smiling.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Sakura turned to Sasuke, who put his hand on Sakura's cheek. He pulled her towards him, and the two shared a chaste kiss. All the guests invited cheered, with even some wolf calls from Kiba and Naruto. Sakura pulled away from the kiss, smiling at Sasuke. A smirk tugged on his face.

"Congrats dattebayo!" Naruto said as he jumped between Sasuke and Sakura and put his arms around both of them. Sasuke bumped Naruto's arm off Sakura and then positioned himself so he could carry Sakura bridal style. Sakura laughed as Sasuke picked her up and ran down the isle with her. Confetti was thrown into the air as the two passed by. As they led, the crowd soon followed until they were outside.

A limo was parked outside at the main entrance. At least something was going right today.

The guests continued throwing confetti as they walked down the stairs towards the car. Sasuke placed Sakura down once they met the car. Sakura remembered she had one last task at hand.

Throwing her bouquet.

She held it up, which made all the female's in attendance squeal. With one monstrous throw, the bouquet went flying through the air.

"I got it!" Ino called, pushing half the crowd away from the predicted landing spot.

"No its mine!" Tenten said shoving Ino out of the way. Soon three more other guests began pushing and shoving for the bouquet.

"Hey guys…no need to–"

Plunk.

Hinata stopped mid sentence as a bouquet of flowers landed right on her face. Ino, Tenten and the other guests who reached for the bouquet gasped as Hinata had 'gotten' the bouquet.

Sasuke held the door opened for Sakura to get in first. The crowd continued chanting as the two sat down inside the beautiful ride. Sasuke closed the door and the limo immediately sped off. Sakura and Sasuke both felt a wave of ease as they leaned back on the plush leather seats of the open spaced vehicle.

"They really fought for the bouquet ne Sasuke-kun?" Sakura said as she leaned against her husband's chest. Sitting in his lap she closed her eyes and sighed, "The worst is over and we're finally married."

"Aa," the Uchiha agreed, craning his neck over Sakura's head he strained to see the front of the limousine, "where's the driver?"

The barrier between the driver's quarters and their own scrolled down, Sakura heard a groan from her husband and opened her eyes leaning away from his chest she blinked at him confused, "what's wrong Sasuke-kun?"

"My youthful congratulations to you both Sakura-san and Sasuke-kun!"

The young brides face fell, "oh no…."

"Yes it is me! Your youthful Gai-sensei!"

Turning around Sakura turned to stare at the bowl cut man, "where's our driver?"

Gai chuckled, "it is I who will drive your youthful selves to the reception!"

Sakura smiled nervously, "we don't want to cause you any trouble Gai–"

"Nonsense! Nonsense my dear cherry blossom!" the green clad man waved her objections away, giving the two a thumbs up he grinned, "now just you two relax and I will escort you both to your reception. Yosh!"

Leaning her head back against Sasuke's chest Sakura sighed as Gai's bowl cut head disappeared behind the screen, "ah well, there's not much we can do Sasuke-kun except enjoy the ride."

"Hn."

The car began to move and pulled away off the curb, leaning to look out of the window Sakura smiled as the church became smaller and smaller, disappearing off into the distance, she turned back to her husband, "even though nothing went according to plan," her gaze lingered on hers and Sasuke's clothing, "I'm happy with everything."

Sasuke nodded eyes closed, "good."

"But you know what would make me even happier…." Sakura wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer so their foreheads were touching.

Opening one dark eye Sasuke glanced at her, lazily wrapping his arms round her waist, a small smirk playing his lips, "what?"

Sakura beamed him a smile, "well….."

BAM

Nearly falling off Sasuke's lap the young woman looked around wildly, "what the hell was that?"

BAM

Grabbing her tightly by the waist Sasuke growled, "Damnit now what?!"

The barrier came down, with a smiling Gai looking at the newly wedded couple. "we're taking a detour through the country side! I hope you two don't mind! We must cherish nature's youthfulness while it is still around!"

"Gai-sensei! You're driving like a maniac and we're in a limo! Is it really safe–?"

"Life's a risk and we must live it out!"

Sasuke and Sakura stared at each other with uneasy eyes.

"Brace yourselves! It's gunna be a bumpy ride!"

"Are you kidding me? They're late!" Ino whined looking out the doors of the reception. Naruto shrugged.

"What happened, if the limo driver abducted them?"

Ino whacked Naruto over the head. "Don't say such things!"

ERRRRR!

The sound of a car skidding alerted both blonds, who turned outside. Coming up, they could see the limo Sasuke and Sakura were coming in covered in mud and leaves.

"Whoa, where'd they go? Through the jungle?"

The car skidded to a halt right at the front of the hotel reception. The back door flung open immediately. Sasuke and Sakura both stumbled out, looking dizzy and green.

Gai stepped out of the driver's side. "Ah, now wasn't that exciting!"

Sasuke and Sakura ignored him and continued stumbling around. Naruto and Ino ran out and grabbed their friends arms, helping them get inside.

"Whose big idea was it to hire Gai as the driver?!" Sakura asked as she nearly ran into the door. Ino shrugged.

"Where did he take you?" she asked.

"Through hell." Sasuke said as he slowly regained his balance. Eventually Naruto and Ino managed to help Sakura and Sasuke make it into the main hall, where everyone was standing around talking. The band was testing their instruments. Flower arrangements decked the hall, with streamers hanging from the ceiling. Everything seemed to be in order, but one thing…

The catering.

"Hey, where's the food?" Sakura asked. Ino laughed nervously.

"Eh, it hasn't arrived yet. No worries, it should be here soon!"

Not too convinced, Sakura nodded anyway, praying this wouldn't go wrong either.

"Sakura-chan, Sasuke-kun!" Shizune's voice echoed out. Turning to her, the wedded couple could see two coat hangers in her hands.

"We cleaned your tux during the wedding Sasuke-kun, and we managed to get hold of your proper dress Sakura-chan." She said handing the two of them their clothes. Sakura jumped.

"Thank you so much Shizune! You're a life-saver!"

"Thanks, now go get changed! Hinata, Tenten and Ino will help you get ready!"

Nodding, Ino and Sakura headed towards the room Shizune pointed to, while Sasuke and Naruto went into the nearest washroom. It only took Sasuke mere minutes to change.

After changing in a stall, Sasuke walked out towards the mirror and readjusted his tie. Naruto leaned against the wall, hands behind his head. A smirk played on his face.

"Wow, I can't believe you and Sakura-chan are married now! It felt like just yesterday when we went to school together."

"Aa."

"And how much Sakura-chan loved you yet you ignored her."

"…"

"And then when she finally moved on from you, and then you realized how much she meant to you."

"Dobe…"

"And then when you–"

"Naruto stop."

Naruto turned to Sasuke, who had a blank expression on his face.

"I don't really care what happened then. I care for now." He said in a stern voice. Naruto lazily walked over to Sasuke and placed a hand on his shoulder, a smile plastered on his face.

"Teme, you have no idea how lucky you are to be with Sakura-chan. Just don't hurt her."

Sasuke stared at Naruto and cracked a small smile. "I did it once, and I won't do it again."

Naruto punched Sasuke playfully in the arm. "Good on yah teme. Now come on, let's go."

The two walked out of the washroom and out into the main room. All the females in attendance were crowded around something and giggling at something the two boys couldn't see.

"Heh, wonder what all the fuss is about…" Naruto said trying to look over the bodies. Ino in the crowd noticed Naruto and Sasuke enter. She grinned and signaled for everyone to move out of the way.

Everyone did so, revealing what was in the centre. Sakura stood there, glowing in her white gown. Even with her hair still orange, she looked beautiful.

The pure white silk strapless gown was dotted with pale pink individual cherry blossoms decorating one side of the gown and fanning out past the waist. From her tiny waist the material spread out with a train of silk and tiny encrusted crystals stitched on the hem of the gown. Sakura beamed as she modeled the stunning dress with her hair now tied in an elegant bun complete with a diamond tiara shimmering in the light.

Alas, finally something had gone right in the wedding. The band began playing a familiar tune to the two.

Sasuke walked up to Sakura with his arm out, ready for Sakura to take. Sakura not hesitating took his arm, as he led her out onto the dance floor.

The piano began playing, and the singer went up to the mic.

For the nights I can't remember.

Sasuke placed his hands around Sakura's petite waist, as she leaned into his chest, both her arms hanging on his shoulders. They both slowly swayed into the music.

And I do wanna love you
If you see me running back
And I do wanna try
Because if falling for you girl is crazy
Then I'm going out of my mind
So hold back your tears this time

As the song continued, couples joined on the dance floor, swaying happily to the music. Sakura gazed up at Sasuke, who was smirking down at her. Sasuke leaned down, pressing his lips against Sakura's. His left hand came up and held Sakura's neck, while Sakura raised her arms up and wrapped them around his neck.

And what if I never said to you I was dynamite?
And what if I never told you I'm afraid to cry
What if I never let you down
And said I'm sorry for the nights I can't remember
What if I never said to you I would try

The two broke off the kiss and continued swaying to the beat. Sakura rested her head back into Sasuke's chest. Sasuke bent down and gave Sakura a chaste kiss on the forehead, and pulled her closer. What Naruto had said to him earlier was getting to him, and he definitely knew he wasn't going to let Sakura go.

9. Food, sweet food. You cannot expect everyone to not be hungry after a busy day of clapping, rejoicing and dancing. Food fuels the body! Treat your guest's to the finest foods, NOT FAST FOOD!

One Hour Later…

"Damnit! Where is the food! It's been an hour already!" Naruto said holding his stomach as it rumbled. Shizune looked through her checklist.

"They were supposed to arrive at least an hour and a half ago. Konoha caters is the best in town! This is bizarre."

Naruto's stomach continued growling. He groaned in annoyance. "Man, I could really use some Ichiraku Ramen right now."

"Did somebody say Ichiraku ramen?" a new voice said entering the room. There came in the old ramen man with his daughter, wheeling in a cart of ramen. Naruto gawked.

"EH!? What are you doing here?!"

"We were in the neighborhood…and decided to bring some food as a wedding gift! Anything for our best customer's best friends!"

Naruto stood there, holy grail music in the background. "I must be in ramen heaven!"

"Hey guys," a voice drifted in, dragging Shikamaru with her Ino noticed the owner of Ichiraku Ramen, "what's going on here?"

"We're just about to serve you all miss," the old man, smiled beckoning his daughter to fill the bowls with the flavored broth, "please sit and enjoy the food!"

"Dattebayo!" a certain blond punched the air, hurrying to the tables and plopping himself down, holding his bowl out as Ayumi, the old mans daughter, came to serve him, attempting to coax the woman to fill his bowl up to the top.

Tearing her gaze away from the blond man Ino raised an eyebrow, "what happened to Konoha caters?"

Shizune shrugged, "they haven't shown up," she sighed and caught a glimpse of the cerulean eyed man wolfing down the beef ramen, a small smile playing on her features, "we'll just have to settle with ramen for now."

Folding her arms Ino blew away a stray strand of blond hair from her face, "this wedding has been far from organized," before grabbing the snoozing Nara's hand and dragging him off to the tables.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" Sakura said as Sasuke pulled out a chair for her, "so what's on the menu then?"

Next to her Ino shook her head, "it's a surprise," she chuckled.

"What do you mean a surprise?"

She turned to her plate as the waiter wheeled by, placing a silver curved lid in front of her, green eyes peered at it curiously, cautiously poking it and then casting a fearful glance in her best friends direction, "it's not dangerous right?"

The blond rolled her baby blue eyes at her friend's behavior, "its food Sakura, not a bomb."

Turning to her other side she asked Sasuke the same question. "You'll find out," was his strange reply, come to think of it she had noticed a strange look on his face, shaking it off she gripped the handle of the lid and listed it up.

"Oh my God."

"Great isn't it Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted to her, sitting next to Sasuke he returned back to cleaning up his second bowl of the day.

"Ichiraku Ramen?" the young woman said in astonishment, staring down at the steamy broth before her, "what happened to Konoha caters?"

"They didn't show up, but luckily the owner of Ichakaru's filled in," Ino paused, "but I don't know if you would call that luck."

"Yeah well Naruto's on cloud nine," Sakura commented somberly, prodding the noodles with her chopsticks. Somehow the joy of wearing her right wedding dress and dancing with Sasuke seemed to disappear as she gloomily stared down at the ramen, the ceremony had been memorable with its own bitter sweet moments but there was a deep dark prodding in the back of her mind. She had imagined her wedding to be flawless, with an image of herself walking down the aisle in a beautiful gown stunning the whole hall while gazing into her lovers dark onyx eyes….

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP!"

Glaring distastefully at the bowl of ramen in front of him Kiba pushed the food away, "there's no way I'm eating that piece of-"

"Ok then," the bowl disappeared, Kiba's eyes widened as he tried to locate the mysterious disappearing ramen only to turn to his right and stare at the happy blond slurping up his food.

"Here ya go," Naruto finally said, finishing the bowl and licking his lips.

"How can you eat that shit in a wedding as well?"

Naruto put his bowl down and glared at the brunette, "oi don't you call my ramen shit!"

"Oh yeah," Glaring daggers at each other the two looked just about ready to pounce when Hinata suddenly intervened.

"Stop it both of you," she said, placing her hands on both of their chests trying to make peace, "this is Sasuke-san's and Sakura-chan's special day so I want you two to behave yourselves," she held in a giggle as Naruto pulled a face behind Kiba's back.

"Hmph I'll show that ramen-obsessive idiot…" Kiba mumbled to himself, a light bulb flashed over his head and he chuckled darkly, rubbing his hands.

A smirk appeared on the brunettes face, "and I know just how to extract my revenge," scooping up noodles from an impassive Shino's untouched bowl he tilted the spoon in a catapult-like position. The blonds head was in perfect position, a dark grin spread across Kiba's face as he readied the catapult to fire.

"1… 2…. 3 and go," he whispered to himself, releasing the spoon and watching it with glee as it landed perfectly on the unsuspecting blonds head.

"GAH! WHAT THE HELL!" Naruto's voice screamed, as he whipped the ramen off his face. As much as Kiba tried, he couldn't hide the satisfaction written on his face.

"Why you…!" Naruto grabbed a handful of ramen out of someone's bowl, and whipped it, hitting Kiba right in the side of the face, with random pieces hitting anyone within a meter of Kiba. Kiba growled and turned to Naruto.

"Oh, it's on."

"Sakura-chan, Sasuke-kun, we managed to get the cake for you two!" Shizune said as she and Ino brought in the cake and placed it on a table. Sakura jumped and clapped excitedly as Ino and Shizune carefully took the top off.

"Oh wow, it looks too good to be true!" Sakura said with a big grin on her face as the cake was revealed. It was a standard 5 layer cake, decorated with pink icing all around, and two figuring's that resembled Sakura's usual pink hair, and Sasuke's chicken butt hair.

Sasuke leaned in closer to look at the figuring of him; a grimace on his face.

Sakura bent down to Sasuke's level. "Eh Sasuke-kun, what's wrong?"

Sasuke examined it closer. "My hair does not look like that."

Sakura giggled at Sasuke's inquire. "Oh Sasuke-kun, it–"

"You stupid baka! NEVER DISS RAMEN!"

Sakura and Sasuke didn't have a chance to turn around; As Naruto pushed Kiba into the two, sending them face first into the cake. The music stopped, everyone froze.

Sasuke and Sakura slowly pulled their faces out of the cake, face completely white from the cake.

"Naruto…" both of them said in a murderous voice, whipping cake off their faces. They both glared daggers into Kiba and Naruto. Both men quivered.

"Eheh, easy there…" Kiba said backing up. Taking the chunk of cake off her face, Sakura wound up and fired a rocket of cake at Kiba's face. He fell to the ground from the impact. Naruto pointed and laughed.

"AHAHA SAKURA-CHAN OWNED YOU!"

POW!

Naruto went flying down to the ground in the same fashion as Kiba, cake smothered on his face. Looking up, he could see Sasuke lowering his arm.

"Teme you traitor!"

Turning to glance at her husband with a dark grin expanded across her face Sakura raised a cake filled hand, "shall we?"

Sasuke smirked.

Looking from one to the other Naruto backed away slowly, "easy there Sakura-chan," he chuckled nervously, with his hands raised in mock surrender, "there's no need to-"

POW!

He didn't have time to finish as the mush of cake left both husband and wife's hands and flew across the room to hit him on the face and chest. He froze, his jaw dropped open and a trail of pink icing dripped down his orange suit.

Kiba suddenly leapt to his feet, and shouted, "FOOD FIGHT!"

10. While having food at a wedding is a MUST keeping it actually on your plate is ESSENTIAL. When the wedding meal arrives approach it with etiquette and elegance to avoid the illegal term for throwing large amounts of potatoes and peas at your guests–Food fight.

And as though they were high school kids in a cafeteria, everyone immediately readied themselves with ammunition and began firing it across the hall.

Launching some cake in Kiba's direction Sakura gaped as the mush went soaring past the unsuspecting mans head, hitting her mentor straight in the face. Narrowing her eyes Tsunade locked her gaze with her giggling apprentice, with a fistful of ramen she sent it escalating at lightening speed successfully blowing the bride down, smirking to herself the hazel eyed woman grabbed a fistful of cake and aimed it at a certain male Hyuuga's head.

Dodging an assault of noodles Sakura quickly ducked under a table, quickly joined by her food covered husband they used the table as a shield, launching food in different directions and ducking for cover as torrents of the wedding meal came their way.

"Urgh gross!" A voice squealed beside Sakura.

Ino was sat next to her, huddled under the table and frowning as she watched a mixture of ramen and cake trickle down the side of the table.

The young woman glanced at her friend's pristine blue gown, "you not joining in?"

The blond woman shuddered, "and get my dress dirty? No way! This dress cost a fortune!"

Ducking as another wave of ramen flew her way and giggling when Sasuke wasn't as lucky Sakura said, "never in my entire life did I expect to have a food fight on my wedding day!"

The blue eyed woman beside her raised an eyebrow, "yeah well you're wedding hasn't be exactly normal has it? Bad hair day, orange suits, hideous wedding dresses, 25-cent wedding rings, a late groom, a pervy priest, Ichiraku ramen……" she counted the points off with her fingers as both women moved to the side to dodge a ball of mush, "…. Well after all that has already happened today I would have been surprised if there wasn't a food fight," she finished dryly.

Sakura smiled and patted her best friend on the shoulder, "there there Ino! I'm sure your wedding will be just as good," before going to Sasuke's aid and helping him fling pieces of beef mixed with pink icing at their guests.

"Oh man, what a day!" Sakura said as she flopped down onto the lustrous king sized bed in the shape of a heart. Sasuke landed right beside her, grunting in agreement.

Looking around the honeymoon suite, Sakura noted everything was in the shape of a heart. The bed, the window, the table, the lamps…EVERYTHING. Ino went a tad overboard booking them a suite for their honeymoon.

Sakura rose her left hand up, gazing at her…ring.

She sighed. "Well, that's it. We're finally married." She then rolled over Sasuke, her on top of him, a seductive smirk on her face.

"And you know what that means…"

Not hesitating, Sasuke's lips clashed with Sakura's as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Sakura's slim fingers knotted in his ebony locks, tugging at the dark clumps. His lips traveled from her own up her jaw line to the junction in between the neck and ear, a sensitive spot that caused her to gasp. She felt him smirk against her porcelain skin, so very Sasuke-like that it prevented her from containing her smile.

Taking a sniff of air, Sasuke froze. Sakura could feel Sasuke tense.

"Sasuke-kun, what's wrong?"

Taking another sniff, Sasuke's face trailed up towards her ear. Taking another sniff, Sasuke stopped and turned to Sakura, staring in her emerald eyes.

"You smell like bleach."

And so, if these 10 rules are followed carefully you'll be amazed at just how organized and perfect your big day will be. You'll know exactly where everything is, who's responsible for what and when things are supposed to happen. With precise attention and planning there's no reason why your wedding can't be close to those dream marriages portrayed by Disney.

You only have one day to celebrate so why waste it running around the church looking for the rings or wondering when the food will arrive?

So relax, laugh and smile at the camera!

25 glorious pages of work…woot woot!

Do not ask for us to continue it and make it have lemon in it. Tis not our style.

Hope it turned out well! We enjoy doing one shot's together; as two minds are better then one! :D Hopefully this kind of wedding doesn't happen to anyone XD

Thanks for reading! Reviews are appreciated!

Shellzonfire!