Disclaimer: Don't own Evangelion. Gainax does. Don't sue me over something I don't own please.

Author's Notes: Hey everyone! Ama no Murakumo here. For those of you who have read my other story, A Moon's Shadow, sorry about the lack of updates. I'm having a serious case of writer's block in regards to that story so for now, I decided to go ahead and start something new until I get hit by inspiration. Hope you all like this story. Keep in mind that Shinji will be slightly OOC in this story. This story is inspired by the fic I Do by Innortal. Just thought I'd give credit where it's due.

On with the story!

Till Death Does Us In

by Ama no Murakumo

Chapter 1: It Begins

At first glance, Shinji Ikari did not appear to be somebody you would call confident. After being abandoned by his father Gendo Ikari at a young age, he was forced to live with one of his father's brothers and grew up with very few friends in his life. Now, at the age of 14, he found himself back in Tokyo-3 after an order from his father forced him to return.

Initially, Shinji had held onto the faint hope that his old man wanted to make amends for the past. That hope was crushed, however, when Gendo revealed that he had sent for his estranged son for one simple reason: To pilot the biomechanical behemoth known as Evangelion Unit-01 against a relatively unknown enemy known only by the codename 'Angel.'

That was the straw that broke the camel's back for Shinji. The young man had pretty much disowned his father in his heart and vowed that one day, the man would pay for the pain that he put him through.

His first two battles against the Angels had been bad enough, what with the Third breaking his arm and the Fourth burning his hands with those damn whips. But the Fifth Angel had been worse than the other two combined.

In his first sortie against that particular Angel, he had been blasted by its partical cannon the instant he had hit the surface. Shinji Ikari had learned that day what it felt and smelled like to be a human BBQ, it he didn't like it one little bit. Even though he had won with the help of Rei Ayanami, the enigmatic First Child, and the JSSDF's positron rifle, the brown-haired boy was still fuming in his mind about it. For God's sake, his chest was still tinged pink and tender from the pain!

Add onto that the torture of living with NERV's Tactical Operations Officer, one Misato Katsuragi, and the stress was enough to nearly drive the boy insane. If he had to, he would go before the UN himself and suggest that the woman's 'cooking' be used as a biological weapon against the Angels. Her latest culinary delight had actually managed to eat its way through the apartment floor like a high grade acid.

Fortunately, not everything was going down the shitter for the Third Child. Shortly after the battle with the Third, Shinji had made friends with Maya Ibuki, one of the bridge technicians that oversaw his battles and worked with the MAGI supercomputers. He found the short-haired young woman to be great company. She never pushed him to talk about things that made him uncomfortable and had offered him a listening ear if he ever needed one. Lord knew Misato wouldn't have done much to help him. In addition, he had finally gotten Rei to accept his offer of friendship after the battle against the Fifth. At the moment, Shinji and Maya were having a conversation outside one of NERV's many rec rooms about the boy pilot's rapidly increasing sync ratio, which had skyrocketed from 40 during his first battle to an impressive 72.

"I'm serious Shinji!. If you keep this up, you'll end up surpassing the Second Child's record. Last I heard, her sync ratio was hovering around 76."

"I know Maya, but I don't really care for that. By the way, aren't the Second and Unit-02 being transferred here soon?"

"Yeah, but I don't know much of anything about the girl. Just her name: Asuka Langley Sohryu. I heard Captain Katsuragi was her guardian when she was in NERV Germany."

"Great. If there's something loopy about this Asuka girl, then I know who to blame."

"Ha ha ha Shinji that's not nice! Even if it is true..."

Unknown to the two, Rei Ayanami was standing around the corner, listening to the two banter back and forth about their coworkers. Now Rei was a girl that was driven by logic above all else. Couple this with her hobby of reading romance novels and her high sense of impressionism, and you have a girl that tends to read situations regarding relationships in a slightly twisted manner. Watching Shinji and Maya from her vantage point, the gears in Rei's head began to turn. Ever since the incident with the Fifth Angel, she had come to regard the shy pilot of Unit-01 as a brother figure, and as such wanted nothing more than to see him happy. Taking stock of the events occuring in front of her, she could only come up with one reason why the two were conversing in the manner in which they were.

'It seems as if Shinji and Lt. Ibuki deeply care for each other. From what I've read in my books, if a man and woman care for each other as such, then they get married. Why have they not done so yet? Perhaps they are embarrassed about what others might think. I'll talk with the local records office and see to it that they have nothing to worry about. They are my only friends and I simply wish for them to be happy...'

Her objective in mind, Rei made haste for the Tokyo-3 Courthouse, intent on procuring the necessary paperwork to ensure her psuedo-brother's happiness. Hey, she believed it...

(Three Days Later: Katsuragi Apartment)

"What do you mean Shinji's being transferred out of my care!?"

"Sorry Captain. But that's what the order says. Pilot Ikari is to be transferred to an apartment in Block C Sector 4," was the Section-2 agent's reply, obviously uncomfortable with telling the irate Misato that her live-in maid was moving out. Said maid, though, had thoughts on the opposite end of the spectrum.

'Thank you God! I'm getting the hell outta here!'

"Oh, that's right. Pilot, I was informed to give this to you as well." With that, the agent handed Shinji a manilla folder that had his name on it.

"Hmmm. Wonder what this is?" Shinji opened the folder and pulled out a thin sheet of paper. Upon reading it, his eyes bulged to the size of dinner plates as he let out an ear-splitting shriek. Interestingly, another shriek accompanied Shinji's at the same exact time, both saying the exact same thing.

"WHAT THE HELL!!" In Shinji's hand was a marriage certificate, stating that he was now married to Maya Ibuki...no, make that Maya Ikari now. The sight of the paper sent the Third Child's mind into a wild circle.

'I'm married to Maya! I'm a dead man! I'm married to Maya! I'm a dead man!' After a minute of this, Shinji finally found the proverbial light bulb going off in his head that signals an idea.

'Just how the hell did this happen?'

Staring at Misato, Shinji weighed his options. Live with Misato and die of food poisoning, or live with Maya and likely be castrated. Didn't take long for him to decide.

'Oh well. If I'm gonna die, I may as well die happy.' That in mind, he picked up and said his goodbyes to Misato, who surprisingly had not figured out why he was freaking out before joining the agent in the car that would take him to his new apartment, which he suspected was connected to his new marital status.

(Ikari Apartment)

On reaching his new place, Shinji stepped out of the vehicle only to be approached by an obviously livid Maya. Putting his hand up to stop her advance, he looked her in the eyes and said, "Listen Maya, I have no idea how this all happened but I intend to find out." Hearing this statement instantly cooled the older woman's jets and, thinking about their situation, she was now sporting a huge blush.

'Well...I guess things aren't that bad. And besides if I were to be forced to marry any guy I know, then I'd rather it be Shinji. I know he'd never hurt me.'

"Well Shinji, what do you think about this situation," was Maya's first question.

"Personally, I'm kinda shocked. But at the same time, I'm happy that it was you I was forced into this with. Anyone else, and I'd likely lose it." Hearing her new husband basically mirror her own sentiments in words, Maya's blush intensified followed by one on Shinji's face as well. Looking at each other, they spoke in perfect unison, asking the question that had been plaguing them since they saw the marriage certificates.

"Who did this?"

Deciding to talk about it more later, they started carrying their personal things into the apartment. Luckily, they didn't own a lot. In fact, the heaviest object they had was Shinji's cello since the apartment came fully furnished. Working together they managed to have everything brought in and organized in a little under two hours. Lightly sweating, they sat down on their new couch and finally took the chance to look around their new home. Needless to say, they were both impressed and happy. Full of earthen-toned leather furniture, pure cherry wood dressers and cabinets, creme white walls, and hardwood floors, the apartment conveyed a sense of comfort and relaxation that neither had ever had the pleasure to enjoy in any of their previous homes.

Smiling, Shinji looked over at Maya and took her hand in his, causing them both to blush again. Taking a deep breath, the young man said, "Maya, would you like to tell me about yourself?"

"Huh?"

"Well if we're gonna be married, then we should at least know more about each other."

"Point taken. Well, I just turned 20 last month, I'm originally from Tokyo-2 where I lived until I came here 2 years ago after getting a job at NERV, and some of my hobbies include reading mystery novels and cooking. How about you?"

"I was actually born here in Tokyo-3 but I lived in Osaka with my uncle for over 10 years before I got called back here by the King of Assholes." Hearing Shinji's name for his father, Maya giggled. "But anyway, my hobbies include playing the cello, cooking, and sketching."

The ice broken, the two newlyweds spent the rest of the day learning about each other and talking about what they wanted to do in the future. Even though they had been forced into this, the two had let their inhibitions go and decided to try and make their new relationship work. Only time would tell if it truly would. Speaking of Gendo...

(NERV HQ: Commander Ikari's office)

Gendo Ikari, resident asshole of Tokyo-3 and the man who ruled said city with an iron fist, was feeling in a particular vindictive mood today. He couldn't exactly explain it, but lately he had been feeling the urge to make his son especially miserable. Looking through the piles of paperwork that littered his desk, he was searching for any reason at all for torturing the Third Child. Behind him, Sub-Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki was staring at a small pile of related papers detailing the recent move of both Pilot Shinji Ikari and Lt. Maya Ibuki into the same apartment. Reaching the final paper in the file, his eyes grew wide at discovering the reason for the transfer of residence. He knew the two were close, but THAT close...The aged Sub-Commander looked to his boss who, in classic comedic fashion, had dropped his pen while lifting it to sign a rejection of vacation time requested by Captain Katsuragi and was now under his desk attempting to retrieve it. Sighing, Kozu looked at the paper in his hand once more before opening his mouth to speak.

"Gendo, did you realize that your son and Lt. Ibuki have moved in together?"

"No. Just who authorized that anyway?"

"Apparently it was you. It has your signature on it..."

"WHAT! I never authorized that! It's a forgery!"

"I don't mean to put my foot in my mouth, sir, but is it possible that you were drunk when you authorized it?"

"Don't play coy with me sensei..." Fuyustuki shook his head and decided to deliver the final blow.

"Well it appears that the reason for their move request was because of the fact that they are now married. You would think they'd announce something like that..." Keep in mind folks that Gendo is still under the desk as this was said.

"WHAT!!"

BAM!

Shocked, Kozo could only stand stock still as he watched Gendo Ikari, NERV's 'great and mighty' Supreme Commander jump up in surprise only to smash his head into his solid oak desk with the force of a jackhammer. The result: Gendo was now laying unconscious in a pool of his own blood as Fuyutsuki pressed the button to signal the secretary.

"Yes sir, Commander?"

"This is Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki. Contact Dr. Akagi and have her bring a stretcher. The Commander is currently unconscious."

"How!"

"Believe it or not, he hit his head on the desk."

When Ritsuko arrived on the scene, she had to let herself into the office due to the fact that the secretary wouldn't stop laughing hysterically.

Well that's it for Chapter 1 of the fic. Please read and review. I wanna know how I'm doing and could use ideas for funny situations.

Next up on Till Death Does Us In, Chapter 2: Removing an Obstacle. With Commander Ikari hospitalized, Shinji and Maya seem to have a clear path to pursue their new relationship, but Shinji decides to prove he is truly Gendo's son. How? Read and find out! Also, the couple find out who is responsible for their predicament and talk with Rei about her actions. have fun till the next update!