Disclaimer – They're not mine. BBC owns them. My first Donna fic. Because I have had much love for her since she slapped the Doctor in The Runaway Bride.

Involves Donna from 'The Fires of Pompeii' going back to the end of 'The Runaway Bride' to do something for the Doctor.

Cone

Sod it all! Donna thought, as she made her way through the corridors of the TARDIS. Time is, she was now only beginning to understand, a very tricky thing that had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with lines, straight or wiggly, and more to do with...with...those weird cone shapes.

Yes, cone sounded good. Both round and straight and leading to one point at the end...

And she had no way of going back and making herself NOT do what she just did. And there was something she would dearly like to do with the Doctor after she had first met him.

But there was no way it would work out. Unless she asked him to take her home and pick her up again right after she had finished with what she had done.

What she really wanted to do, was give him something. But first thing first...she had to make sure that he took her back to Christmas two years ago. And that was the tricky part. But she knew that she really had to do this, before she went insane.

"God, I really need to go back...just for a few minutes. There's something I really need to do," she whispered lightly to the corridor walls, hoping that the Doctor wasn't hearing her.

She had not known at the time that the ship itself could understand her.

Going towards a room that the Doctor had helped her pick out, she had to just...write something down first. A small note. A reminder. A truth.

She just knew though that she wouldn't really be able to go home during the time, because as far as she knew another version of her was wondering around, the one which hadn't just killed 20 000 people.

The Doctor had pointed to a room just opposite her own and said that it was his if she needed anything. She had settled, with his help of course, there was no way that she could have known that an empty room could become anything she wanted just by asking nicely.

One thing she knew for certain, the TARDIS was still weird.

That had happened right after they had waved goodbye to her gramps. She had needed to sleep after running up and down that bloody Adipose building half the night.

She slipped in her room quietly, making sure not to slam the door behind her, as she had seen the Doctor go into his own room not too long ago. Well, in his defence, they were both rather shaken after doing what they had just done. And if he felt anything like she did right now, he could do with a few hours of sleep.

Too bad she'd need him to pilot the ship, because she would rather do this without him knowing about it...well, yet.

She finished her short note, tucked it into a pocket, and went to bed, hoping to get some uninterrupted sleep.

Fat chance that was. She woke roughly 90 minutes after falling asleep after dreaming that she was being buried alive in ash. She had survived, yes, but she had stood on top of a nearby hill and watched as Pompeii was destroyed. And she had herself to blame for it. She had helped push down that bloody lever and helped kill thousands of people. Tens of thousands.

She wondered if she would ever be the same again, because she had never done anything like that before, and hoped never to again. She couldn't help but think that the Doctor was taking it harder than even she was.

After watching a similar thing with his planet, that was to be expected.

How many times has he had to watch something as horrific as what they had done together to save the rest of the world?

Either way, it was one too many times for her.

A knock on her door alerted her that the Doctor was out in the hall, calling out to her, worry in his voice. Getting up, she opened the door and saw him standing there with blood shot eyes and she grabbed him in a hug.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up or anything. Nightmare."

He snorted softly in sad humour and hugged her back. "Nah, I know what that feels like."

"I want to go home for a bit. Not to stay, I still want to travel with you. And I want it to be a certain time. There's something I need to do."

He stiffened slightly and let go of her, looking her carefully in the eye. "Donna, don't cross your own time line. It's a very bad idea, and the last thing I want to deal with right now is a paradox."

Yeah, well, it's not like she knew what the hell a paradox was. She frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?" She didn't mean to sound as angry as she did, but she had a temper and it was flaring in his directions.

He closed his eyes. "Where and when?"

"What?"

"Where and when did you want to go?"

And this was the deciding factor. He would either let her or wouldn't. Taking a deep breath she told him. "Christmas night, just before dinner. 2006."

The Doctor groaned. "Donna could you possibly pick a worse time to want to go. You wouldn't be able to meet your parents, or go inside the house, and especially, and I really mean this, let yourself see yourself."

She shook her head and glared. "I don't want to go to meet me or my family you idiot. If I wanted to go home to see my mum, then I'd go back to when we just left."

"It's still a really bad idea."

She frowned and thought of something, because if it was supposed to have happened then it would have happened already if she had succeeded yes? "Do you remember anything else from that night?"

He looked at the floor. "I was highly upset at the time. I'd just said goodbye to Rose before I met you."

She remembered when she asked him for his friends' name, and he had choked up while telling her. And she had watched as the TARDIS took off. Damn, she'd have a very little time frame to do what she wanted.

Shrugging, she walked out into the console room, watching the rise and the fall of the column in the middle of the room which she had learnt meant that they were in flight somewhere in space. No destination ready just yet, just...floating.

Looking towards the door she smiled. Nah, she'd definitely have enough time to slip inside before he took off.

He sighed loudly. "Fine, I'll take you. Just...don't do anything stupid, I'm too tired to have to deal with this kind of mess right now."

She smiled at him. "No, that's fine. Meet me round the corner from my house. I'll meet you when I'm done, I promise."

He wasn't happy. She could tell that from the way he was muttering to himself under his breath in a language she didn't understand. That TARDIS translation circuit must be busted or something. Wouldn't surprise her really.

A familiar noise rushed over her as the engines kicked to life, and it was with a gentle thud that they landed in what she hoped was the right place. In her experience after all, Rome was not Pompeii. At least it was a smooth landing. She had decided in the short time she knew him, that he wasn't really good at those.

The Doctor looked at the screen and sighed. "Christmas night 2006. Just...go do whatever it is you need to do and get back quick. And no silly business."

She rolled her eyes and let out her breath in a rush. "Right. I got it the first time, mate."

He was really annoying her, and she had the funny feeling he was doing it on purpose. Whether it was just because she was her, or because she was human, it didn't matter. It was really beginning to piss her off.

She stalked to the door, opened it, and stepped outside into the cold night air of winter. It wasn't snowing yet. Good, it meant she could still do what she had set out to do.

Walking the short distance to her house, she quickly hid herself behind a fence and waited. Thankfully she didn't have to wait long, as soon a familiar sound filled the night air and she watched as the ship she was looking for materialised in front of her parents' house.

She ran and hid behind it, waiting until the Doctor had stepped fully away from the TARDIS, before slipping inside and into the corridors beyond, making sure not to close the door fully behind her. She doubted he would spot that, given his state of mind before he had left that night.

The engines started up and stopped, and after another minute started up for good. She was peeking through the crack in the door when he lost it.

After Pompeii, she knew he had been crying. Hell, she had too. Changing back into her modern day clothing had made her feel relatively better about herself, but still, it was the first time in a long while she remembered actually crying over something. But he had done so in private, away from her.

What she was seeing now was entirely too clear to her, and it had only occurred to her the morning after that Christmas, where she realised she had made a mistake going with him. She really had made the wrong decision, because he was a complete wreck. The worst thing was, she had known that and still refused, too scared to go at that time.

She didn't creep about like she had supposed she would do when she got here, she just strode right up to him and held him close as he mourned the loss of his friend. He clung to her, needing the simple touch of another person there to ground him.

He was barely aware of her, even once he had calmed down, but he still managed to land the TARDIS and let her off just a few blocks away from where his future self had parked. Before she left him, she tucked her letter, a piece of paper with 4 simple words on it away in one of those pockets of his.

She ran back to the latest version of the ship, and saw the Doctor waiting for her expectantly outside, his face scrunched up in a look she hadn't seen on him before. Complete and utter confusion. She smiled at him. "There. No paradox thingies happened, I avoided my family and myself and still managed what I had in mind. Not completely useless am I?"

He smiled at her, and stepped aside so she could enter the TARDIS. "Nope. Good for you."

She looked at him and felt herself smiling wider. "I'm glad I could help."

His smile slipped a bit at that, and she had to wonder herself at what she meant. Glad she could help his past self when he needed it most? Glad she was able to leave her note to him to find when the time was right, if ever? Glad that she had taken some of the huge burden on his shoulders and helped him push down that lever?

She expected it was a bit of all of them, but mainly the last. Because while she knew that it had changed something in her, something she will never get back, it felt like she had gained something too. Some sort of knowledge that she perhaps wasn't supposed to have, or a feeling she was destined for in the first place.

Because while their actions caused the deaths of a lot of people, too many people, she had done it to save everyone else. She had made a great sacrifice, as had he, and in the end she knew what it was. Donna Noble, stupid and wild and human, had some understanding with one of the most complicated beings in the universe.

And that's why she had left her message, a simple truth in 4 words to him. Maybe he didn't need to find it and that's why he hasn't yet, because she was sure she would know if he had. Her message to him.

You are not alone.