In-between by WonderBat

Disclaimer: Kishi-sensei owns all. Wishing I did as well.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Finally, I have come to appreciate Orochimaru-sama. Plot is when they are at early 20's. No Dan in the picture. Orochi's POV.

I loathe Jiraiya.

I hate how much confidence he has when it comes to Tsunade.

I am disgusted when he brags about how he can defeat me with just a mere finger.

I really never liked him—ever since we were in the academy; when we became a team of three genins; and not even until now that we are jounins.

But that all changed when I have proven that he was a true friend. Even just as a friend, I have learned to appreciate his acknowledgements on me. I used to ignore him back then, but he never really seemed to care one bit. I started to realize that Jiraiya isn't a mere ally, but one who will always remain by your side no matter what happens.

I have grown into someone who gradually developed feelings for our only female team mate. Long have I known that Jiraiya struggled to win Tsunade's affections since we were five, but I myself couldn't help but fall in love with her as well. Well, what is not to like about her anyway? Intelligent, robust and unquestionably breathtaking, she is probably every man's dream. The difference between us though is that he's open about how desperate he is to take her out while I, on the other hand, kept silent all the while.

One night, I overheard her talking to Sarutobi-sensei; I swear I heard her mention my name. And the morning after, she confessed that she liked me ever since. I knew the news would definitely infuriate and even break Jiraiya's heart; but was I surprised to know that he accepted all the decisions Tsunade and I both made wholeheartedly.

Jiraiya never disappeared in the picture, not even once. I'm not sure if every smile he beams at us is fake, but with every second that he sees Tsunade and me together, he never ever complained—not even darn once. And that really amazed me of how noble a man Jiraiya could get. He never let love get in the way of our friendship; he stayed with us, even when he knew himself that he already seemed like a fifth wheel, he didn't give a damn—he loved us just the way we are, and his loyalty never subsided.

But one time, I felt Jiraiya slowly drifting away.

"Jiraiya…"

"What?" He dully replied.

"Is something wrong?"

"No…Not really."

"Then why are you packing your things? Where the hell are you going?"

"I'm leaving." Jiraiya did not even look at me. He kept on packing his things in his luggage bag.

"Why?"

"Why the fuck do you care?" Jiraiya still didn't look at me, and it started to give me a tingly feeling, like something was badly damaged.

"What's wrong with you?" I could feel my color rising. I could definitely blow up any minute. "And where do you think you're goi—"

"Fuck off!" Jiraiya glared at me in a way like my pale skin could almost burn to hell. "Damn it! How old do you think I am, huh, Orochimaru!? I'm fuckin' 20 years old! You don't have to worry a damn bit!"

"Why are you like this?!" I obviously disliked the Jiraiya's impulsive way of words.

"This is what you want, right?" Jiraiya calmed down a bit, he seriously pierced into my eyes and gritted his teeth as he spoke. "How easy do you think it is for me to watch you two make kissy-faces every time we have a night out! For Pete's sake! It's not your date! It's our only night out! And you two keep on freakin' hogging it up by yourself! Have you even cared when I was drinking myself to death?! No! Of course not! You never cared one bit! Not ever since you two got together!"

"Jiraiya, you've got it all wr--"

"You're lucky I trust you, Orochimaru. You can't imagine how hard it is for me to give the love of my life to my best friend. What's worse is that I have to watch you two together every time. Are you happy of my endurance? Yes, I admit it, after all those fake smiles and that…endless support, I can't take it anymore. This is as far as it goes." He lifted his bag and still with meeting brows, he saluted an angry goodbye. "Might as well mention this to your lovely girlfriend before she starts noticing I exist." And with that, he vanished with a puff of smoke.

Tsunade was shocked to hear all of it, of course.

"I never realized that's how he felt all the way." I could tell that she felt guilty both because she was the one who ignored how Jiraiya felt for her ever since and because she seemed to grow numb when Jiraiya was already anguished of our romantic relationship.

"Yeah." I heaved out a sigh and turned to her. "Do you want to go somewhere I can make you feel any better?"

"No, not today Orochi." She smiled an unconvincing smile at left me alone.

I could feel everybody walking away from me. I love Tsunade…very much. But I couldn't let Jiraiya just leave like that; he was my best friend. A few years back we would both laugh at how flat Tsunade's chest was, but now…every memory feels like an illusion…an illusion that has faded like a soap bubble.

After a few months of ups and downs with Tsunade, I heard a knock on the ingress. Tsunade and I were eating dinner and she voluntarily got the door. In a while, I heard her scream, and shouting something that sounded like a joyful glee. I wasn't worried though. She had a monstrous sense of strength, which was enough for me to not be anxious about her safety every other time.

She got back, her elbow locked with Jiraiya's. I stood up in undeniable joy as I welcomed him once again.

"Where have you been?" I asked him, a smile couldn't help but creep up and form at the end of my lips.

"Oh, you know…Some place I could move on from the heartbreak your wonderful girlfriend has given me, I guess."

Of course, it was both serious and comic. But that meant very little. It didn't matter anymore, now that Jiraiya's back.

"Hey, sushi. Me likey." Jiraiya acted like a kid, which was something Tsunade and I both missed.

"Help yourself." Tsunade said.

I stood beside her and watched his feed himself helplessly with all the food on the table. Our dinner has been interrupted, but hunger was nothing compared to when we lost our dearest comrade ever.

But then…I felt like something wrong was still going to happen.

Slowly but surely, it was now Tsunade that I felt who was leaving me. She grew cold on me and whatever sacrifice I give her, she didn't seem to like it.

I talked to Jiraiya about it. He was confused as well. Tsunade was usually ambiguous, but she's never cold. He did whatever he can to help me out. He surprisingly has moved on, and he was a hundred and one percent more than sincere to help me out. There came a time that I almost cried because of Tsunade's cold shoulder. I never wanted Tsunade to know that I was crying, she might grow even colder. So I always turned to Jiraiya.

"One more, Orochimaru…One more and, ugh, heaven help me to not lay a finger on her."

One afternoon, I decided to confront Tsunade about it. She confessed that she wanted to break up with me.

"I'm sorry, but…I don't think this is going to work anymore. I never wanted to hurt you, but…I think I'll hurt you even more if we continue with this relationship."

I was in the verge of tears. I tried my best to hide it. I knew Jiraiya was around us somewhere, watching us and finding a conclusion wherein he could butt in.

"I'm really sorry." Tsunade didn't look at me, and neither did I. I could see her at the corner of my eyes. Her eyes were focused on the inch-thick elephant grass just beneath us. The sun was beginning to set.

"What do you think you're doing!?" Jiraiya suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I approached him and tried my best to calm him down for his angry face was an inch away from Tsunade's. "Why do you keep on hurting Orochimaru!? Are you numb!?"

"Jiraiya, she's still Tsunade…Let it go…"

"No, Orochimaru, she's gone too far…" Jiraiya then again turned to Tsunade. "Well!?"

Tsunade abruptly held his hand and pulled him close until their lips brushed against each other. I felt like I forgot how to breathe then. After about three seconds, they let go. Jiraiya's expression was of total shock.

"The reason is you, Jiraiya!" Her eyes were teary as she held his hand tighter. "I'm in love with you!"

The awkward wind blew past us. Each and every one of us was silent.

An epiphany struck me then. How foolish of us to fall in love with each other, growing numb every single time while we realize that we were breaking every rule love has ever created. Nothing will ever be the same.

END.