Love's Identity
Disclaimer: Not much is mine except for the plot. Mai-HiME is not mine. Many things are not mine! I must start planning.
A/N: Hmm, I'm back? I'll continue my rant later. I'm a bit rusty, so you've been warned. I'm sure you'd be able to tell where I picked up this story again too…I'm trying to hide it though, haha.
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Thanks to: Kara-san as my new beta. And of course, thanks to her for letting me beta her things now. I don't know what else to say…hmm…Kara-san is a nice sempai to have. –nods-
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Chapter 1- Prelude: Life in Death's Hands
In the sun, long sable tresses were shimmering in a tinge of midnight blue. Laughter filled the air as the fresh scent of supple grass enveloped the lax atmosphere. The raven-haired girl stood in resplendency, smirking at the humorous comments every now and then. She inclined her head in thanks as her redheaded companion handed her a sandwich. Suddenly, her arm froze; the sandwich dropped onto the grass with a light thud. An indescribable ache gripped her heart, while pain similar to sharp needles jabbed into her skull. She let out a ragged breath before she fainted, clutching her heart as she did so.
"Natsuki?!" Eyes widened in horror as people screamed her name in panic.
Three years later, a young lady with lengthy, chestnut-emblazoned locks sat on a plain plastic chair, waiting patiently for her love to wake up. Her hands expertly peeled a tangerine, whilst beautiful eyes of mahogany, akin to the color of diluted crimson glanced tentatively at her surroundings. Minimal light shone through in the midst of the dying afternoon as orange rays lit the face of the sleeping beauty, illuminating her ashen features with a soft glow. This made the patient stir occasionally in her slumber, causing healthy pink lips to tug into a bittersweet smile. Carefully, she placed the peeled tangerine onto a small plate next to bed and sighed, stinging the air in its deadly silence. Lips pursed, she waited.
Groggily, eyelids slowly fluttered opened, revealing green eyes akin to dulled emerald. Turning her head, she saw a face looking intently at her. Their gazes locked for a moment as the patient opened her mouth to speak but stopped. Willing her livid body to sit upright, it was done in immense pain. She winced as she emitted a diminutive cry of pain. Her friend immediately moved to help her but was stopped by a determined glare from the patient, telling her help was not needed.
Visage unchanging, Fujino Shizuru sat back down, placing lithe hands onto her lap and said softly, "…I peeled a tangerine earlier, Natsuki, won't you have some?" The younger girl merely shook her head; she had no appetite.
Ears of the brunette perked up as the younger girl finally spoke, "Why are you here? I thought I told you not to come anymore…," pain was evident in her tone of voice. Hands that were gracefully placed atop Shizuru's thighs, balled and tightened, yet she gave a soft smile.
"Ara, Natsuki, do you really hate me that much?"
Blood boiled in her veins; it was that smile. That smile that Shizuru gave her, never changing, never wavering in her love for her. Natsuki hated that smile.
Natsuki snapped, calm yet firm was her voice. "Get out."
Quietly and without a word, the brunette stood up, red eyes seemingly indifferent to those two words. Yet, internally her heart felt pierced by a thousand blades…all by the hands of whom she loved. Turning around, Shizuru strode towards the door, not a single sound was made as if Shizuru had never existed in the room.
"Kannin na, Natsuki…"
Emerald eyes downcast, Natsuki bit her lower lip, hands tightly grabbing her covers. Ears of the navy-haired girl perked up to the echoes of a creaking door. She couldn't help herself say those next four words.
"Sorry Shizuru…I'm tired."
With that, the brunette wordlessly took her leave, exiting the room with barely audible footfalls. Thus, the door was shut between the pair.
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Footfalls, graceful, elegant, and placid fell one by one onto the tile floors. Head kept straight, facing what's in front of her, Shizuru only had one mission in her mind. People that passed by no longer mattered and became blurred images; she wanted…no needed to get back. It was her only place of retreat. Lips thinned as her heart quavered. She could not let her mask fall now. Shizuru swallowed, hoping it would suppress her feelings that were waiting to burst out.
"Fujino-san?" A doctor cloaked in white stopped with a file in her hand. Shizuru had heard yet refused to respond to the call. She blinked for a second, clearing her sights without stopping and continued her stride. Puzzled, the doctor's eyes gazed at the flash of red and soon to the back of the tawny haired lady as her silky tresses flowed like water against the nonexistent wind until she disappeared around the corner.
The doctor, whose gaze had been forced to leave the silky, caramel tresses of the Kyoto beauty, made her way towards her destination once again. Glasses fell slightly as she opened the file in her hands and peered at the unpleasant data that was presented to her. Seconds later, she stopped, turned, and opened the creaking door. Darkness that was washed away by the new light unveiled the face of Kuga Natsuki.
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The brown haired girl felt her body shudder with every succeeding step she took. Heels that clacked onto the pavement were three folds slower than the beat of her heart. It hurt. Maple globes squinted as a jabbing pain continued to assault the back of her skull. She swallowed again, hands trembling towards the door of her vehicle.
"Natsuki…" Shizuru croaked. Not even able to pull the handle, she couldn't hold back any longer.
Falling to her knees, shaking hands were placed onto the walls of her car she let her intangible mask fall. She wept silently, not wanting anyone to hear. Tears streamed down her cheeks, dropping in thuds that could be only heard by her ears. She balled her fists, whispering,
"Natsuki…I love you."
Suddenly, her cell-phone rang.
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The door was opened again. Green pools gave quick mentions to the doctor before returning to the plate of tangerines. Fragile fingers that used to be toned and healthy picked up the last piece of fruit and slowly lifted it to her dying lips. Lips parting to allow the delicacy peeled by her love to enter, she closed her eyes, her tongue slowly caressing the fruit. She suckled slowly, savoring every bit of taste and memory.
The doctor sadly watched her and sighed, making her way towards the overbed table.
"Kuga-san…You're a very cruel person."
The doctor gave a bitter smile and placed her file onto the overbed table. Hands placed the metal plate softly next to her bed. Green pools lingered to the tiled floors as Natsuki answered,
"A dying person has no right to love, don't you agree doctor?"
The doctor quickly snapped her head up.
"But—"
Fingers began to drum on the cover impatiently. The younger girl forced her body out of her bed; the small weight that lifted made a tiny squeak as she did so. She stretched her arms above her head, ignoring the past comment.
"Kuga-san! You're in no condition to be out of bed! As your doctor, I—"
Dulled emerald pierced the doctor's. The doctor felt her body shudder out of fear as chills were sent up her spine. The killing intent that was so intense came as quickly as it had gone. The dulled emerald now seemed to beg at the doctor.
Through the black rims of her glasses, the doctor saw the frail girl before her. Her gaze tore from those begging dulled emerald globes towards the visage of the girl itself. Skin that was akin to porcelain now seemingly drowned in sickness still reflected beautifully in the rays of the dying sun that entered the room through the blinds. The backlight lit the girl and gave her outline a soft orange ephemeral glow. Light, salmon-pink lips tugged into a small smile as the young girl tilted her head. Arms had now ceased their stretching. Her whole body faced the doctor fully.
"I know my body the best, doctor. Let me do what I want to do," Natsuki swiveled her heels and walked to the windows, clearing the blinds with one hand. More light entered as she spoke softly,
"I belong outside. Don't take the last of my few enjoyments away."
That usually harsh, ice cold voice in three years had turned into something completely different. It had become the voice of a wise woman. The doctor gave in.
"I understand," the doctor sighed once again.
"You are held accountable for nothing," Natsuki announced as she made her way towards the closet. The wooden white doors opened, revealing her helmet.
With that she was outside.
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"Kuga-san…You're a very cruel person."
Her engine roared as hands revved the bike even more. Trees, cars, everything blurred together as the velocity increased. Rain had begun to pour, ever so slightly; droplets fell onto her skin akin to notes of music that played itself out little by little.
I know…
She sped around a sharp curve, a feat only possible because of her many years of experience. Natsuki was greeted by silence as she finally passed by all the vehicles. Her heart sank, discords played in her ears. The thumping of that muscle slowed as her mind flashed back to those painful words that she thought she would never hear again.
"Ara, Natsuki, do you really hate me that much?"
Revving her Ducati again, Natsuki increased her speed. Peering through her helmet, her eyes saw nothing but that moment being played continuously in front her. Then all of her memories greeted her in the same manner. Her teeth clenched as her memories skimmed through her happy moments and then presented her saddest events at a deafening speed that seemed to drag on endlessly.
No…Shizuru, I would never.
Suddenly, something was wrong. A hand left the handle of her vehicle and clutched her heart with a vice-like grip. Nails dug into the skin of her chest. Natsuki coughed, blood spilt onto her visors, covering her vision with a sea of red. The navy-haired girl felt her sight gradually covered in blackness. Sound around her became muffled. Natsuki blinked slowly…
But you don't understand…I…I don't have anything to give to you anymore. Your smile…
All I wanted was to see you smile. But now…
Her other hand that was left to control the vehicle shook violent. The blue Ducati wobbled at a high speed. Natsuki grunted with the last of her strength to keep it upright. Yet, as she did so, she knew her legs were giving away.
But now…even if you smile, my heart feels nothing but pain. I can see clearly through your mask.
She couldn't see anything anymore.
Shizuru you are in pain.
The person that she has always loved with all her heart appeared in her mind. Blood stained lips, now swollen from her constant struggle to stay awake parted. A chuckle was heard only by her ears in muffle, muted blots.
In pain.
It was comical in a way. She remembered every detail of her Kyoto goddess. Silky chestnut strands were always perfectly in place, yet lithe porcelain fingers always seemed conscious and would tuck an invisible strand behind her ear. Then a smile…so sweet like honey would always be presented to her. Only Natsuki was it offered to. Lips so full and supple, tinted in a cherry-blossom pink would then part and enunciate her name, followed by a crimson gaze that twinkled in a teasing manner. Her mind drifted.
Even if I have to be cruel, I will stop you from seeing me and me to you as well.
There were many things that Natsuki wanted to say to Shizuru now. Yet, she knew it would only give her love more pain. The vehicle finally lost of all its control. Speed only increasing, her Ducati crashed into the cold metal railings, and she felt her body rip off her Ducati like a ragdoll. She wanted to hear her own name being called again.
I love you…Shizuru.
"Shizuru…"
Natsuki croaked. It was ironic though. In the midst of her depleting consciousness she noticed that this was the same alcove in which her mother died. So ironic it was.
No longer able to see, no longer able to hear, a young girl's body plunged into the deep abyss. A trifling splash was made, yet, nothing was heard. Like a tree that has fallen in a forest, if such a thing is not witnessed then it's as if the event had never occurred at all.
However, sometime later it was realized, and the waves continued to splash against the cliffs, forming white foam on the sharp rocks.
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A silent humming that had long settled was suddenly shook awake and thrown aside by thunderous rings. Walls painted with black light whispered the echoing sounds to one another as every other object in the house laid still.
"Brrringgg…"
"Brrringgg…"
"Beep…"
It became an urgent request left unanswered...in the home of Fujino Shizuru.
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A/N: I know that was a bit abrupt because, like I said, I'm still rusty. However, I hoped you all enjoyed this. As for my other stories, I'm not sure when I'll update them, but I'm kind of busy. I just wanted to give this to you guys, so you'd know that I'm no where near dead.
Next time you see me, I'll be known as Imperii.