It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

Those with an iron will and fiery passion like his are supposed to go down in a blaze of glory, after a long life of triumphs and hard-fought battles, not die pale and thin in a hospital bed at the age of thirty-five.

To think that when no man could bring him down, despite their apparent advantages over him in size, strength, and cunning. How ill-fated that in the end it was something as miniscule as a virus that brought him to his knees.

I had not cried since that moment when by my side he breathed his last. Maybe it was because everyone kept telling me I needed to be strong for our children, maybe because I believed he wouldn't want to see my face streaked with tears. Or maybe it was that numb feeling engulfing my heart, and that constant thought running rampantly through my head, "He's not dead, can't be, not...not…"

But now, here, as the crowd surrounded me as a black billowing crowd I could feel the numbness start to fade, something like coming out of a hazy sleep. Many people came up to me, though I can't repeat what they said, for I didn't really hear them. It's an odd feeling this grief; not wanting to be alone, but at the same time wishing to speak to no one.

The crowd was starting to slowly disperse now, and I brought myself to do what I had not as of yet done. Look at him.

I thought it would help somehow, everyone always said that the funeral was more of an act of closure for those still living, anyway. I approached the casket, and at first the mountain of flowers which surrounded him made it hard to see. Then through the lotuses I could make out his face, so quiet and serious, so unlike him.

Then it hit me; like an electric shock through my body.

He was gone; the man who had trusted over this village with his life, who had given me two beautiful children, who had controlled the Kyuubi and always protected others.

Never again would he run up the steps, grinning with Emi and Hideki on his back. He wouldn't be there by my side when I woke up, or be there to poke fun at Neji-niisan at family gatherings. The love that I had seen in those blue eyes was gone and I'd never find them in another.

Their hokage, my Naruto, was gone.

I fell to my knees and buried my head in my hands. And now, I can't seem to stop the tears.