Discalimer: I don't own anything.

A/N: Thank you for all your support! I decided to continue this now…well, seeing as how I'm still stuck with my more-serious stories, I'll keep writing this until my head is clear again. Also, I revised the prologue, so it's not as grammatically-horrible as it used to be. I'm sorry how bad it was written, I hope it's easier on the eyes now.

Enjoy!

Angel Complex

Chapter 1

Falling, falling, falling. Darkness surrounds him, and he feels like forever until he hits the floor. Kratos right himself and looks beneath him. The darkness is spreading away, away and away until it is revealed a stain glass of-

"Chuck Norris?!" Kratos squints and stepped away. Something's not right here... Something comes up; it's a small creature that looks like a social bunny. Albeit smaller...but it's still freaky.

"Press A to attack the shadow-majiggy," a mysterious voice rang from above.

"And who might you be?" Kratos asked unfazed.

"The miserable guiding voice for the noobs. Now press A."

Kratos sighed, this is madness. He does hope that he's dreaming. He takes a glance at the enemy who's stupid enough to dwell there without attacking him for all this while, and chanted a magic spell.

"Indignation!"

The floor blow up and the glass starts to crack.

"Jumping jehosephat, you almost break the floor," the voice said again, "no matter, to the staircase that you will ascend."

A staircase magically appears in front of him. It's a really long staircase...possibly the longest Kratos have ever seen in his equally long life.

"...Where does this lead to?" He asked.

"...Why are you talking to yourself?" the voice said. "And when you see a staircase, you climb it. What's so hard about it?"

He really needs to wake up now. Whenever he has funny dreams, it usually means that there's a disaster going about in real life. The last time he dreamed about Yggydrasil and Yuan dressed up as lolitas, Anna died the next day.

Kratos summon forth his wings, and flies up the staircase only to land on yet another floor. Great, how many floors are there?

Three pedestals are shown; each had a different item on it. The first to the left is a pen, the middle a shield, and the right has a sign that says, "Censored for looking too much like a toy to be considered seriously."

"That is the staff, in case you can't see," the voice said again. "Now choose your destiny as if they weren't planned out by the developers already."

"Judging by this logic...shouldn't that be a sword?" Kratos points at the weapon on the left.

"Haven't you heard that the pen is mightier than the sword? Har! Har! Har!" laughter suddenly stops. "Now choose, we don't have all day."

Kratos sighed again and hold the side of his head in frustration. Not only is he getting stuck in a bad dream, it's hosted by an even worse narrator. He checked his belt, and realized that his own weapon is still strapped on it. Guess he doesn't need to choose after all. He raised his baseball bat high enough for the almighty someone to see.

"Damn, game shark," it says, "up the ladder you go."

Another set of ridiculously long ladder, which Kratos ignored by flying with his wings. For the first time he's actually glad to be an angel. Another platform with a random celebrity's face on the floor (Kratos doesn't want to look down, actually). A treasure chest is in front of him.

"I suppose I need to open that?" Kratos points again.

"Now, open the treasure chest in front of you."

"I believe I just said that."

"You want me to lose my job?" the voice said, irritably so. "Now open it, noob-face."

Kratos walks over to open it...but the chest turned into a vicious men-eating little monster, screaming in some beastly language.

"Bummer," the voice remarked, "it says you fail at life."

Kratos inwardly groaned, and decided that he had enough of this nonsense. He jumped back to the edge of the platform, and begins to chant a spell.

"...rest in peace, sinners. Judgment!"

...A brief silence and a storm of meteorites fall from nowhere. Wait a minute, this is not Judgment. But it does the job of destroying the Fake in pieces anyway.

"Good, you're done. See the door? Open it," the anonymous sound says again.

"Could it be the exit now?" Kratos said, walking over it eagerly. Finally, he'll wake up from this bizarre dream and find out just what happened in reality.

"Remember, the end is only the beginning...what a cliché line," a pause. "Now gitta Hell outta here."

Kratos brushed the last line aside, and pulls open the door. A bright dazzling light, and the sound that came from it is a pleasant--

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Awake. Was that a scream he just heard? He got up reflexively, but stops as he heard no more noises. It's a good chance that he's still hearing things from his half-asleep mind. Sinking down on the bed again, Kratos scratched his head a bit out of grumpiness.

Hmmm. Did his hair just grow longer over night? And the color is kinda off...

He didn't really pay attention to it until he realizes what's beside him on his bed.

A giant purple Barney doll is staring right back at him. Smiling. Singing "We're a happy family."

By instinct he grabs the doll and throws it against the window, making a loud "thud" sound. Looks like he's not out of the nightmare yet.

And his fear is confirmed when he looked down and saw that he's wearing a pink man-thong.

Frantically, he got up and looks for the mirror that sits in every room, and he almost start cursing out loud like a badly-written fan fiction character.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

...No, he didn't scream. But that's what his mind is doing.

How and what and why?! The mind goes blank, and he fails to hear the ruckus down stairs. Then sounds of an angry mob racing upstairs, and breaking his door the next second. The one that happens to stand right in front of him is...

"Kratos!! We need to talk!" "Himself" said, face all red.

Kratos twitched, dear Martel, this is NOT happening...

"Um...Kratos?" Lloyd says with a tiny volume.

"...Yes?" he replied. And the "Kratos" that's standing there slaps his forehead so hard it sounds like he's swapping a fly.

"Aw man! You can't be serious!! So it really is true!! We're switched!!" he buries his face in his palms, looking like it's the end of the world. "I can't believe this...the great Zelos Wilder will never be the same again!!"

"...You're practically the same from how I see it," Sheena commented rather wryly with a cold sweat. Raine is the first one to get a hold of the situation. But that's only because she's the professor, and is suppose to have an abundance of energy to learn new things...hopefully.

"Interesting!" Her eyes are sparkling with excitement, "this must be the effect of a magic unbeknown to the world!"

From the side, Presea is watching this drama unfold with a different view all on its own. Whatever that comes next is probably that they'll get out of the inn, get to some other place so they can sort things out, and figuring out how to solve this problem.

Which means everything in between is just useless adult blabbering that doesn't need to be taken in mind...at least in the eyes of the young ones.

"BlahblahblahblahblahBarneyblah?" From Sheena.

"BlahblahpresentblahblablahblahHunny#69blahblabah," Answered Zelos.

"Blahblah? BlahblahblahblahZelosblahblahblahKratos?" Rained blahed, "blahblahblahGenisblah, BLAHBLAH!!"

"Yeah, I agree with you, Raine," Genis replied. "Let's get out of here first."

"Blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah," this is from Regal. "Blahblahblah."

"Certainly, Regal. They should not change clothes or it will cause unnecessary confusions for the townspeople," Presea nodded.

"Blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah," everyone else blahed in agreement, they seems to be reaching to a conclusion.

"Okay, let's go to somewhere clear," Genis said, "we'll decide what happens then."

Fifteen minutes later, the group settled themselves on a near plain just outside town. It seems like they like to discuss things where wild monsters surrounds them. Well, whatever floats your boat, heroes.

"Alright! We should start reviewing what we did," Raine started, "why don't we see a rewind of what happened yesterday?"

So she takes out a video sphere, and presses the rewind button.

Ah, there it was. They were traveling down from Katz Island (gotta get the skits, you see), and on the way back from there, a group of sales people came up and asked them if they wanted to buy the best cooking sauce ever produced by all Te'thealla.

"Oh, I remember them," Sheena said, "I thought they looked funny at first."

"But didn't we shoo them off?" Lloyd said, "I'm pretty sure we didn't buy anything."

The sales person goes on to say how the sauce can turn the foulest food into the most delicious gourmet ever produced. Yes, even THE foulest.

"...I remember that's when we were reminded of Raine's cooking," Regal said, and everyone else nodded.

Zelos goes on to say how they were going to stay at his mansion so they don't need to be cooking, but the sales man was persistent on his product.

"...Oh yeah, I told him how Sebastian is probably better than Wonder Chef," Kra-no, Zelos interjected. "But then he said it's invented by Wonder Chef's mom. I thought that was impressive."

The sales man gradually convinced them, but Kratos wasn't really sure. He said it looks like regular pepper and it probably was exactly that. But the sales man insisted that the sauce can eliminate any traces of tomato flavors.

"..." Zelos-I mean, Kratos was silent. He's guilty of what happened.

After about two hours, the group finally spared their money and bought a small bag of "The magical sauce that can turn your food into something ten times better than anyone else's dishes on the table in the split second you pour that damn little bottle inside your pot." Short for The Magic Sauce, you see.

Fast-forward to last night. Regal and Raine were chosen to cook for the dinner, and the former thought he could try a little bit of it. He tapped in a few into the soup that was served to everyone after five minutes.

The other seven heroes sucked the air out of the room.

"QUICK! Check your bodies!!" Raine hollered in a panic. And they begin molesting themselves for the next ten seconds. They sigh in relief.

"It appears it only affects Kratos and Zelos," Presea stated. Zelos groaned.

"Let's watch it again. Maybe there's something we missed," Lloyd suggests, in which his wish is granted by Raine. This time they rewind to the beginning of the day, and starts from there. And the scene when they were seduced by the sales group came up again.

"Hold it!" Lloyd points dramatically, "Professor, I believe we have seen them somewhere before!"

Raine shook her head. "I don't seem to remember," but she's willing to give the benefit of doubt. "Well then, Lloyd, can you show us where we have seen these people?"

The "Start" menu pops up and Lloyd skips down to the "Synopsis" option.

"Take that!" Lloyd taps the paper, "it says clearly in the synopsis guide that we've encountered a group of fake Chosen and her guardians. These people look exactly like those phonies we met!"

Everyone gasped as they starts to recognize the faces. Indeed they're the phonies they met previously!

"Those bastards! I'm so gonna get my hands on them!" Zelos leaps up from his spot but immediately tripping himself over the cape behind him.

"Agh!" Thump. "Why do you wear something like this, Kratos? Bondage fest?!"

"Why do you have such long hair? I'm sweating bullets," Kratos replied blankly. Zelos shot him the most evil glare he can ever muster.

"If you cut, you die. I see," Kratos replied with a hint of exasperation.

"Cheer up, guys! Now we know who did it, let's go capture them and boil a rabbit in their kitchen to celebrate!" Colette chimed happily, trying to lighten up the mood. However, when she sees the drooping heads of everyone, she starts to devise another plan. In haste, she says the only thing on her mind.

"Hey Zelos, you're kinda like Lloyd's father now, right?"

Oh will Colette ever regret on saying that. She's willing to sacrifice herself twenty times over now that she knows what she's done.

"You. Are. A. Genius, Colette!" Zelos perks up like a predator spotting its prey, "You're right! I am your daddy now, bud!"

Zelos stops mid-track and frowns. "Wait, what kind of parent calls his child bud? I'll have to give you another nickname…"

"Ugh, no I don't think that's neccessar-"Lloyd is beginning to see the gravity of the situation. Alas, all is too late.

"Aha!! I'll call you Lloydie! Come to papa, Lloydie!!" Zelos went over and spreading his arms wide like birds. Or in this case, some crazed "father" that harasses a kid that isn't even his.

Sheena rolls her eyes and on her instinct, swept her hand upside his head.

"Ow! You're hitting Kratos, not me, Sheena!"

Sheena gasped and turns around apologetically, "A-ah! I'm sorry, Kratos!"

Right now, Kratos just sits in the corner rubbing his tempos slowly and painfully. This is going to be a long day…a very long day.

Chapter 1 ends

Note: Kratos wears his Judgment outfit instead of the mercenary one

A/N: Yeah, I know Kingdom Hearts parodies are been done to death, but my hands just went about their own ways. Sorry about that, I do blame my hands for redundancy. ;; Mmm, maybe I should change the second genre to parody, since I used some references here.

Well, I do hope you guys enjoyed! :)