Foreword:

Welome to The Gods are Crazy.

This is a PoT AU where everyone is a character in Greek, Roman, even Norse mythology. Expect lots of adventure, romance, drama, power abuse and general chaos and mayhem that only tennis-playing boys as powerful gods and warriors of old can bring.

I'm really fond of this story, so after two years of procrastinating, I've decided to take this up again. Most of the plot are already drafted, so I only need to sit my lazy butt down and write the dialogues.

Since many people (myself included) seems intimidated by my massive chapters and word count, I've edited, re-written, chopped, hacked and tinkered with the chapters. People who are already familiar with this story will notice several changes like 1) better grammar (hopefully) 2) shorter chapters 3) character list at the end of every chapter. Hopefully, reading will be easier this way.

With that said, I'll leave you with a movie quote from a famous mythology character: "Madness? THIS. IS. SPARTA." Haha. I'm kidding. It's actually this one:

"Immortality. Take it. IT'S YOURS."

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Prologue.

Olympus

Ah, Olympus... Land overflowing with sweet and golden ambrosia... Of which air was fragrant with the smell roses in full bloom... Where heavenly music from harps and lutes grace immortal ears...

Home of the all-powerful gods.

And where heavenly peace reigns undisturbed...

"GET BACK HERE, COWARD!!"

"WOMAN! Don't touch my thunderbolts--IIIEEE!!"

"Whose daughter is it this time? TELL ME!"

"NO! That wasn't me! It's some kind of mista--OWW!"

...Or not.

The sight of Hera whacking Zeus's head with his own thunderbolts was not an unusual sight for the residents of Olympus. The bloodcurdling screams, therefore, didn't cause as much stir as it had in the past and everyone just went on with their own business.

The Father of the Gods sat sulkily in his throne, nursing a painful bump on his head. He eyed his wife, who seemed appeased by the beating she'd inflicted on him and was now luxuriously combing her flowing hair.

Zeus pouted. Sure, all the partying and drinking and generally lazing around in paradise were all good. But after some thousand years, it became incredibly boring. Chasing after nymphs was highly entertaining, but it's not worth losing half his immortal life for. He wasn't sure if it's safe to call his wife's threat to castrate him if she found him *playing* with the nymphs again a bluff.

Cronus ass. He needed a new source of entertainment.

And as they said, 'god willed it, so it was done,' his good friend, the Titan named Prometheus appeared at his side.

"Hello, Zeus-sama," he greeted, adjusting his ever impenetrable glasses.

"Oh it's you. There's no new data for you to analyze here if that's what you're after," said Nanjiroh, still sulking.

"I'm not here to gather data. I actually have a proposal to make. It's about that thing that we've been talking about since the Creation..." Inui trailed off. He peered in closer, interested. "Is that a black eye?"

"Way to go, dataman. Shall I give you a star?" Nanjiroh grouched, touching the area gingerly.

"Interesting. Sumire-san's accuracy had increased by 43% since the time she threw the Book of Creation at your face," Inui said, swiftly scribbling on his notebook.

"Yeah, I noticed. And I wasn't even doing anything this time!" Nanjiroh flailed and accidentally pulled a muscle. He rolled in the floor in pain. "Gaaahhhh! It hurts like Hades!"

A slender eyebrow rose above the thick frames. "You have healing powers. Why not use them?"

"Eh? I do...? Cool! I didn't know I could do that." He snapped his fingers. Instantly, all his scrapes and bruises vanished. Nanjiroh rolled his shoulders in satisfaction. "That Sumire just had to hit so hard. I even swore by River Styx I'm innocent!" He paused, and added, "This time, at least."

"You have better things to do than flirt with nymphs?" Inui asked, raising an eyebrow.

Nanjiroh crossed his arms petulantly. "I'm bored out of my holy skull. I bet my darling little brothers had it better in their regions."

Inui shook his head. "Not particularly."

At that, a mischievous light sparkled in the Sky God's eyes. "You have news of them? Do tell, oh All-knowing Prometheus."

The Titan pushed his glasses up. "No need for flattery, Zeus-sama. I intend to report on their progress as the Sea God and Death God respectively anyway." Inui drew out a notebook from thin air. "Let's start with Poseidon, the Sea God. Akutsu seems content with his lot, as he can be as destructive as he wants whenever he likes. The storms and tsunamis he caused proved beneficial to the shaping of the land masses. However, he had recently filed a complaint against a number of sea creatures that had taken a great liking to him. Dolphins, to be specific. He threatened to wipe out their entire specie if they refused to stop swimming around him."

Nanjiroh laughed. "That sounds like what Jin would do."

"Indeed. It's only by Triton-kun's request that he let the dolphins live," said Inui.

"That kid's a good influence on him," said Nanjiroh approvingly. "Such a happy ball of sunshine, that Taichi. And cute too!"

"It's not good to think of Dan-kun in such perverted way. Akutsu is quite overprotective of his herald after all," Inui advised.

"Hey, I might be perv, but I'm not into kids, geez. That's just wrong." Nanjiroh looked offended. "Anyway, sounds like Jin's doing fine in his watery realm. So what about my baby brother, Hades?"

Inui conjured another notebook and leafed through it. "He's still depressed over getting the Realm of the Dead in the draw lots. But it seems he's now determined to comfort every single soul that passes in his domain. According to the reports, the Underworld has never seen happier days."

"That boy, always working too hard. He needs to get laid," sighed Nanjiroh. "Done wonders for me."

Inui shook his head. "Ootori is too innocent for that. He simply needs a companion."

"Yeah, whatever. The point is, Choutarou needs to lighten up. Tell Aphrodite to find him a good partner," Nanjiroh commanded.

"That's not possible," Inui said, looking up from his notes. "Fuji is busy right now."

"What could Syusuke be possibly doing now?" Nanjiroh asked warily. He, and probably the rest of the known Universe, was always cautious around the God of Love and Beauty. Aphrodite could be quite... *vicious* when provoked. His son's perpetually smiling face floated into his mind. Nanjiroh shuddered.

"He's having a brotherly-bonding moment with Eros-kun. It'd be wise if we stay out of his way during this time," Inui said.

They fell silent, praying for the soul of Fuji's recent victim, which apparently was his younger brother. Yuuta would definitely need to see Olympus' resident den mother Hestia, the God of the Hearth, for some serious trauma therapy. Oishi's particularly good in comforting Fuji's latest victims.

"My cute little kids are all grown up now, eh?" Nanjiroh sighed dreamily. "Been so long since I last saw them..."

"Yes. A millenium ago, I believe," Inui replied. He tilted his head curiously. "You know, you can always summon them whenever you want."

"I can?" Nanjiroh blinked then frowned. "Why do I not know these things?"

"Probably because you have thousand other powers so you lose track of them," Inui said, shrugging.

Nanjiroh pondered this carefully. "That makes sense." Then the Sky God grinned widely. "Heh, perfect. Let's have a family reunion then."

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Characters so far (in order of names' appearance):
Prologue - Ryuzaki Sumire (Hera), Nanjiroh Echizen (Zeus), Inui Sadaharu (Prometheus), Akutsu Jin (Poseidon), Dan Taichi (Triton), Ootori Choutarou (Hades), Fuji Syusuke (Aphrodite), Fuji Yuuta (Eros), Oishi Shuichirou (Hestia)