Title: Steamy Encounters
By: Dr. Destructo
Rating: Mature (somewhat)
Genre: Humor/Romance
Disclaimer: Me no own! Kishimoto own NARUTO!
Summary: A flurry of coincidences and fateful machinations bring Naruto and Sakura together at the local baths. Can they rein in their animal passions? And do you really think that's the kind of story I write? NaruSaku

-o-

"I can't believe I let you drag me into this," Sakura muttered as she crossed her arms.

"Oh yeah," Ino said with a derisive snort. "We're totally breaking your arm."

"And wasn't this your idea to begin with?" Tenten asked.

Sakura blushed and almost started shouting. Utilizing amazing control over not just her chakra, Haruno Sakura remembered exactly where she and her fellow kunoichi were. Their location was a small, grassy space with several trees nearby and a veritable wall of shrubbery. It just so happened that beyond that tangle of flora was an exceptionally clear view of Konohagakure's hot springs and baths.

The men's side, to be precise.

"I never said that we should go peeping!" Sakura said, expressing her outrage in as hushed a format as she dared.

"No," Tenten said in agreement, rummaging through her hip pouch. After a moment's digging, she produced a small spyglass with flourish. "But you DID mention that Sasuke and Neji's group would be back today."

"AND that they normally had a nice, gratuitously naked post-mission bath around this time," Ino chimed in, procuring her own peeping instrument.

"Still, that's," Sakura stammered, "that's not a plan of action!"

"Then you and your morals can be outraged somewhere else," Ino said, pushing aside some of the impeding greenery. "Or do you want everyone in the village to find us?"

Blanching at the thought of being caught with Ino and Tenten overlooking the men's baths and giving that twerp Konohamaru even more baseless ammunition for calling her a pervert, Sakura crossed her arms and turned away with a huff. She considered leaving entirely, but who knew how much trouble Ino and Tenten would get her into if left to their own devices? The last thing she needed was Konoha's two biggest blabbermouths ratting her out!

Er, not that there was anything to rat out, of course.

Secure in her acquisition of the moral high ground, Sakura allowed a small smile before Ino rudely intruded with a breathy, "Oh, baby!"

Sakura maintained her composure, the very image of a rock. She would not be so easily roped into the degrading practices of lesser, weaker kunoichi. Despite her resolve, Sakura couldn't prevent one pink eyebrow from rising ever-so slightly. A healthy, young woman was entitled to a little curiosity after all.

"Mama like," Tenten said with a low whistle.

With such a ringing endorsement, however, Sakura felt her body turn toward that leafy wall. Okay, now she was more than curious. Reluctant to give up that beloved moral high ground, however, Sakura cleared her throat and asked, "Um, which one is it?"

"Why, Sakura!" Ino exclaimed, placing a hand to her heart in melodramatic fashion. "I'm shocked that such a virtuous kunoichi like yourself would ask such a question. Shocked, I say."

"Oh shut it," Sakura grumbled, snagging Ino's view scope. Peering through the foliage at high magnification, Sakura found her vision mostly obscured by rising curtains of steam. In the one clear spot near the entrance, she saw a young man turned away with towels around his waist and atop his head.

"Hey, get your own, forehead," Ino said, making a play for the spyglass. Sakura pushed her hands away, trying to get a better look.

"Did you see who it was?" she asked.

"Nope," Tenten said. "He came in like that. You missed a convenient breeze and a nice flash of thigh, though."

"Damn," Sakura said, analyzing the play of muscles along the young man's arms and back as he vigorously dried his hair. Her angle wasn't quite right for spotting Sasuke's now dormant cursed seal. In fact, while she was inspecting his back, Sakura didn't find any trace of scars or blemishes.

"I don't think it's Sasuke-kun," Ino said. Sakura looked up to see the blonde had acquired another scope. Sakura chose to ignore the possible ramifications of THAT fact.

"What makes you say that?" Sakura asked.

"Sasuke-kun's not exactly albino, but he's still paler than most. Especially this guy," Ino said with the true conviction of the obsessed. "Say, wasn't Lee supposed to be on Sasuke-kun's mission?"

"Yeah," Tenten responded, her attention obviously focused elsewhere. "But Lee's back is like a jigsaw puzzle. Maybe he's from another group?"

Before anyone could muse further on the prospect, the man in question seemed to slip on the wet and footworn stones around the bath. His arms and the towel obscuring his head flailed about as he tried to regain his balance--an act only achieved at the expense of the towel around his waist.

The peeping kunoichi cursed at the tantalizing placement of leg and backside even as it led to another profound discovery.

"No tan lines," Ino said, no small amount of awe in her voice.

Not trusting her voice, Sakura merely nodded. Silent appreciation, and more than a few lascivious thoughts, permeated the small clearing as the man took his time rubbing a skinned knee and groping along the ground for his fallen towel. Frustration getting the best of him, the stranger whipped off the towel draped over his head to cover himself and make his way towards the steaming pools of the hot springs.

"There's no way," Ino protested, not quite believing the young man with the arresting muscles and supple buns could possess damp, blond hair and barely perceptible cheek stripes.

"You never told us the runt filled out, Sakura," Tenten said, chiding her junior shinobi. "Ooh! The front's just as nice."

"Pfft, that's just like you," Ino said, directing an accusatory glare Sakura's way. "Complaining about your teammates and then hording the eye-candy."

"Hey, Naruto is not eye-candy! And it's not like I was looking, okay?!" Sakura blurted.

"Did someone say candy? I like candy!"

"I'll bet you do, you little-" Ino started before realizing that the voice hadn't belonged to any of the three women. Slowly, with an icy, sinking sensation, the kunoichi turned as a whole towards the origin of that high-pitched, squeaky voice.

A yellow toad with a small, blue vest sat on a mossy stone. A vacuous smile stretching its lips, the amphibian offered the women a cheerful wave. With a hop, the toad introduced itself, "Hi, I'm Gamatatsu! Have you seen Naruto-nii-chan?"

-o-

Sinking his feet into the naturally hot pool of water, Naruto sighed and felt some of the aches from his feet melt away. At the sound of female screams and thunderous escape, he allowed himself a snickering chuckle. Naruto has been the disciple of the undisputed master of peeping, the late Jiraiya of the Legendary Three Ninjas. It would take more than three giddy kunoichi to one up him in that department.

"Probably should've sent 'Kichi instead of 'Tatsu," he told himself. As much as he liked the young, yellow toad, Gamatatsu didn't have his brother's dramatic flare for relaying information. "Oh well, 'Kichi would'a just gotten me in trouble anyways."

Just as Naruto was about to release the summoning technique he heard the rustle of grass where the girls had been gathered. Concentrating his chakra to enhance his senses, Naruto caught wind of a familiar scent and had to fight his natural instincts to shout out his greetings.

While the thought of Sakura sticking around to get another peek at him filled him with pride, Naruto possessed enough sense to know that wouldn't necessarily stop her from hitting him.

Wait a damn minute! he thought. I'm the one being peeped on this time!

Naruto resisted the immediate impulse to crow about it in her face. Sure, he could get a couple moments' satisfaction, but he'd probably get beaned with a rock. His prankster nature, however, was quickly formulating a way to stretch this rare opportunity into something much, much more amusing.

"Gamatatsu? You okay out there?" he asked, cupping his hands around his mouth to project his concerned voice. He struggled against a grin when a soft "Eep!" reached his ears. In a voice louder than necessary, Naruto asked himself, "I wonder if I should send out a clone?"

"Ack!"

"Is somebody there?!" Naruto asked, sinking into the water with a frantic splash. Not that he had a shred of modesty, but Sakura didn't need to know that. "Who's peeping on me!?"

"No! I mean-! I'm not peeping!" came the flustered response. "I just, um, got lost! That's all!"

Listening to Sakura panic and then awkwardly try to disguise her voice almost undid Naruto. Instead, he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from breaking into laughter. Regaining some degree of composure, Naruto decided to continue.

"How do I know you weren't just ogling the tattoo on my butt?" he asked the bushes where Sakura was hiding.

"You don't have a tattoo on your-!" Sakura shouted back, stopping short after her inadvertent admission. "AW CRAP!"

"AHA! So you were looking!" Naruto shouted. "A pervert's been looking at my butt! Where are the- ?"

"Would you keep it down?!" Naruto was surprised to hear the hissed command come from just beyond bamboo fence encircling the baths. Intrigued by the new turn of events, Naruto made his way to the edge of the bath and propped his elbows up.

"And why should I, perv?" he asked, not bothering to keep the teasing from his voice.

"Oh please! I know you're not THAT shy, Naruto," Sakura said with a huff.

"And how would you know?" Naruto asked, scrunching his face up in concentration. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

"Uh, uh, NO!" Sakura shouted. "We've never met. At all."

"Hinata-chan? Is that you?" Naruto prodded. "Listen, Hinata-chan, you're a nice girl and all, but the restraining order is pretty clear on stuff like this, ya know?"

Naruto basked in the three seconds of pure stupefied silence before a resounding "THE HELL!?" swept over him like a force of nature. Blinking, Naruto thought that Sakura might have actually shouted his hair dry for a moment.

"You have a restraining order? On Hinata?!"

"Nah, you're not Hinata," Naruto said at last, letting his words flow ponderously as though he'd come to a particularly tricky decision. "She still faints when I play that joke on her. Shino's even threatened me a couple times over it."

"I-" Sakura started and Naruto could tell just from the tone in her voice she was rubbing at her temples in that way she often did. If it weren't so adorable, Naruto might have made a bigger effort to not cause it so frequently. "You're evil, you know? Pure evil."

"What? That's a total exaggeration!" Naruto squawked, hoisting himself to display his whole torso. "I have plenty of character witnesses that say I'm not evil. Not entirely evil, anyways."

Naruto jutted his lip out in what he hoped was a quasi-offended but still playful pout and turned his nose up at Sakura's accusation. He dutifully waited for her riposte. After a couple seconds when no words were forthcoming, he took another quick enhanced sniff to confirm Sakura was still present. Finding her scent still strong and close, Naruto wondered what had caught her attention. Like the sunrise over Mount Myoboku, awareness cascaded across his consciousness illuminating the situation in its entirety.

Half out of the steaming pool and dripping wet, Naruto shot Sakura a playful wink and asked, "Like whatcha see, Sakura-chan?"

-o-

Grappling with the image of water beading on taut shoulders and sunlight winking from Naruto's dangling pendant, Sakura ignored the young man's tirade. The roseate kunoichi focused only on supple curves full of hidden strength and how completely uncovered the rest of those curves were just beyond the lip of the bath. It was the wink more than the words that shook Sakura from her trance, replacing flushing warmth with icy realization.

Sakura's first thought was a horrified, He knows!

Her second thought was an enraged, He knew the whole time!

What she said was: "Hell."

"Hey!" came an outraged cry accompanied by a recalcitrant splash. "I'm not that bad looking!"

Sakura groaned and briefly pondered why the ground hadn't opened to swallow her whole yet. Resigning herself to the situation, she sighed. Looking at the squirming satchel where Sakura had stuffed Gamatatsu in her earlier panic, Sakura asked, "I guess you'll want your toad back, huh?"

"Sure!" Naruto said from the bath. Sakura had bent to undo the clasps when the blond continued. "But you'll have to bring him here!"

"YOU PERVERT!" Sakura shouted, vaulting up to the fence to shake her fist threateningly. Her best scare tactics proved futile against Naruto's smug expression.

"Why hello there, Sakura-chan," Naruto said, propping his chin up with both hands. "Fancy meeting you here. In the men's baths. For men. And not peeping women."

Each statement felt like a boulder crashing into her, resulting in her wincing and cringing. Once the onslaught abated, Sakura cracked open one eye and with a weak chuckle said, "Heh heh, I guess I'm a big ol' hypocrite, aren't I?"

"Hmm," Naruto said, scrunching his face up in thought. With a shrug, he shot her a grin. "Maybe a little bit."

"Yeah, sorry," Sakura said, mortified. Thankfully, her sack rustled and allowed Sakura to focus on releasing the dizzy yellow toad from captivity. "There ya go, 'Tatsu. I should go. Now. Probably. Um, I'll see ya-"

"You could stay and hang out, ya know," Naruto interrupted.

Too embarrassed earlier to take notice before, Sakura could literally feel her face heating up like a supernova. Initially she was somewhat grateful that Naruto wasn't rubbing her nose in catching her, but that soon gave way to anger.

"Uzumaki Naruto," she ground out. "Just because I have a- a- a healthy curiosity doesn't mean I'm the type of girl to- to- Well you know!"

"Aw, c'mon!" Naruto whined, obviously undaunted by her grave demeanor. With a disarming grin, he added, "I'll tell you why I don't have any tan lines."

"Really? I-" Sakura started, a small trail of blood trickling from her nose. Furious, her hand flew to cover the evidence as she sputtered, "No! Absolutely not!"

"Okay," Naruto said, airily before turning around. "That's fine, too."

Tentatively removing her hand from her face, Sakura cast Naruto a skeptical glance. The blond ninja paid no mind and merely continued with his bath until only his mop of yellow hair could be seen. With a shaky sigh, Sakura turned to jump the fence and begin the arduous process of pretending the whole afternoon hadn't happened.

Gathering chakra to her legs, Sakura braced herself for launch.

"Just never figured you for a chicken, Sakura-chan," Naruto said. The timber of his voice held a light, amused quality, almost... smug.

Sakura froze, knees bent in preparation for her departure. Despite the humid, almost muggy air she thought a bucket of water had been up-ended over her. Sheer, undiluted shock rocked her from her plans, followed by galling rage.

"What," she asked, biting out every word, "did you say?"

"Oh, nothing," Naruto said. So cavalier was his attitude, the young shinobi didn't even bother to face her.

"Just what do you think calling me chicken is going to accomplish, Naruto?" Sakura asked, settling one hand on her hips.

"Chicken?" Naruto replied, directing an obviously unpuzzled gaze her way. "Who called you a chicken, Sakura-chan? Your legs look fine to me."

"YOU called me a chicken you-" Sakura started before realization came. "What about my legs?!"

"Well, since you asked," Naruto said, grinning, "I think they're pretty nice. Y'see, some girls waste themselves away, but yours have some mass to 'em. A man likes some firmness, ya know."

Sakura could feel the blood rushing through her face, but whether in embarrassment or outrage she was too stunned to consider.

"Now, I can see how some might say you're not living up to Tsunade-baa-chan's... er, legacy, but I think you're cut just right," he added with a leer.

Sakura allowed herself one twitch of the eye before diving at Naruto with killing intent. And maiming intent. With a dash of castrating intent.

Naturally heated water splashed to and fro as the pink haired kunoichi attempted to drown her thrashing teammate. "Ack! Was it- Gorp! Something I- Koff! Said?!" Naruto sputtered, somehow not sounding at all apologetic despite his peril.

Frustrated at the continual dousing, Sakura slammed her victim against the hard stone of the bath. Climbing atop him, Sakura grabbed a fistful of hair and directed his eyes at hers. With a savage grin, Sakura teased, "You were saying?"

"Sorry," Naruto said, grinning. "I didn't know you were so forward, Sakura-chan."

"Forward? What the hell are you talking about?" she asked, slowly loosening her grip on his wet locks. His only response was to raise one hand and then point over his shoulder. Following the line of sight, Sakura spotted the discarded, white towel crumpled along the surrounding stones. Neurons began firing and Sakura's eyes widened with realization.

Still, some part of her refused to believe the evidence... and wiggled her bottom. Instant confirmation attained, Sakura dove into the hot springs with a mortified, "Gah!"

-o-

Naruto decided that his flustered, sopping wet teammate was perhaps the most adorable thing he'd ever seen. Only Sakura would have the temerity to peep on someone naked, assault them and then be embarrassed about a little touching. Not that Naruto hadn't been stunned himself.

Still, there was no need to keep winding the kunoichi up when she was chanting "Pleaseputonyourtowel" like a priest going at his sutras on uppers. Lots of uppers.

"It's okay, Sakura-chan," Naruto said, obligingly covering himself. "I won't tell Shizune-nee-chan you painted my virtue."

Surprised by the ensuing silence, Naruto waded closer to his friend. He relaxed when he heard a soft snicker.

"It's tainted, idiot," Sakura said. "And you'd need to have virtue in the first place for me to violate it."

"Ouch! Sakura-chan!" Naruto whined. "You're being mean to me again! Isn't that how you almost had your way with me to begin with?"

"Had my...? NARUTO!" Sakura shouted. "I did not almost have my way with you. I don't have a way to have you with, you- you big dummy!"

"I dunno," Naruto said, offering a leer. "I'd say you've got-"

"You finish that sentence and you WILL live to regret it."

"-a way with words, Sakura-chan!" Naruto finished hastily. "You've got a way with words! That's why everyone always said you're the smartest ninja of our generation. I mean, sure, I knew it all along, but do people listen to me? NO! Maybe if I were better with my words like you, Sakura-chan, then people would be able to take my advice more often."

"Uh huh," Sakura said, skeptical.

"Oh lighten up," Naruto said. He crossed his arms and pouted. "What goes on in the men's bath, stays in the men's bath, y'know."

"Really?" Sakura asked, brandishing a fox-like grin this time. "Then I guess that explains a lot."

Naruto quirked an eyebrow, not quite understanding the predatory expression on Sakura's face. What exactly would this explain? He wondered for a moment, examining her words and then turning his own over in his mind. What about men's baths could Sakura possibly know? Then it hit him like a stack of manlove pornography.

"WHAT!?"

"You didn't need to hide the truth from me, you know," Sakura continued blithely. "I would have accepted you no matter what your... proclivities were."

Naruto puffed himself up to expound upon his outrage when his face turned quizzical. Giving Sakura a cautionary glare, he asked, "What's a proclivity?"

"Never mind," Sakura said, pushing back her damp hair with a chuckle. Shaking her head, she asked, "Happy now?"

"Huh?" he asked, caught off guard. "With you insulting my manhood? Not especially, Sakura-chan."

"No, ya big goof," she said with a playful swat. "I meant are you happy now that you've gotten me to stick around?"

"I dunno, you've been kinda violent."

"What? I'm putting my reputation and good name on the line to keep your tan line-free butt company and this is the gratitude I get?! Unbelievable!"

"You make it sound like I dragged you here," Naruto reasoned with a lopsided grin. Noticing her annoyed countenance, he promptly cleared his throat and amended, "But, uh, yeah, I'm glad we you stuck around."

Closing her eyes and relaxing, Sakura sighed and admitted, "Yeah, I guess I'm glad, too."

"We should totally do this more often," Naruto said.

"That wouldn't be so bad," Sakura said, yawning. The recent exertion and incredibly warm water making her drowsy. Figuring that she couldn't be any more scandalized, Sakura laid her head on Naruto's shoulder. "Maybe next time we can both be clothed."

"Aw, where's the fun in that?" he teased. When he felt only a slight tap against his ribs, Naruto looked to check on his friend.

"...such a... perv..." Sakura mumbled before softly snoring.

"This is unexpected."

Naruto blanched and turned to face the owner of the new voice. "Heya, Sasuke," he managed.

"I must confess," Hyuuga Neji added as he stepped into view. "A bath is much less... appealing at this moment."

"Um, I don't suppose you guys are going to give me a break and just forget this happened, are you?" Naruto asked.

"Uzumaki," Neji stated, "I don't think I'll be able to forget this for a long, LONG time. How unfortunate for us all."

"Do you have eye-candy?" Gamatatsu asked, hopping up to the two towel-clad, geniuses. Both Sasuke and Neji looked down at small, yellow toad as it wobbled a bit, still recovering from his captivity.

"That's it. I'm never coming here again," Sasuke said without inflection. Neji grunted his own affirmation and the two young men vanished in a cloud of ninja smoke. Naruto dismissed his summon as well, before the young amphibian could create any more awkward situations.

"Well, it's a little different from how I imagined it," Naruto said, adjusting Sakura's sleeping head against his shoulder. "But still pretty awesome. Hmmm. I wonder if you'll kill me for letting Sasuke see you like this or when I carry you home in just my towel?"

Naruto grinned when he felt another soft tap against his ribs. Oh yeah, the pain would be SO worth it.

Notes:

Many are the thanks to Random1277 and Geor-sama for bouncing ideas around and keeping that weekend in Vegas a secret. Whew! Who knew a person could wrack up that many arrest warrants?